Welcome To Ireland
by Ominous123
Summary: Lezile is studying abroad in Ireland, where she meets her host family, and her host brother, Niall Horan. Will she be able to focus on her studies? Includes Harry, Liam, Louis and Zayn.
1. Welcome To Ireland

My hands shook with anticipation. I gazed out the window at the amazing beauty of Ireland, the sunset casting a beautiful glow. Mullingar, to be exact. I had begged my Mom for months about studying abroad and she finally let me go. Being 18 and having never left Toronto, I felt suffocated. I need air. The 6 hour time difference isn't bad, I slept on the flight and now I was wide awake with the nervous feeling of meeting my host family. I had expected to meet them at the airport, but no one was there but a driver. A gracious and kind man, he is. Now, in the back of the black SUV, I was nervous to meet this family even more.

"Don't worry, Miss. The Horan's are nothing but kind folk," the driver reassured. I nodded and smiled to the man's reflection in the rearview mirror.

We eventually pulled into a suburban area of the small town. The house we stopped in front of was beautiful. Light brown brick house, architecture that screamed early 1900's, with balconies attached to rooms on the side of the house. I gulped and opened the door to the car. I stepped out and took in the view of my new home for the next few months. Immediately I felt like I did not belong. My boyish attire, dark blue jeans, white t-shirt and black Vans did not fit in with this area. The driver opened the trunk and pulled out my two bags. As I bent down to retrieve my things, I heard the house door open.

"Oh! Jonathon, Niall! She's here!" A woman yelled.

I gulped and turned to see a slender, blonde-haired woman hastily walking towards me. I smiled awkwardly, feeling insecure already. Nothing to be insecure about really, I'm not fat, but yet not skinny. I suppose I'm not bad to look at, and I am blonde, so at least I match my Host-Mother in some way, but she was beautiful.

"Hi," I croaked.

"Oh, darling, you must my new host-daughter!"

"New? So you do this often?" She smiled simply, "sorry, stupid joke.." I muttered.

"Nonsense, darling! My, you are more beautiful than in your picture!"

"Thank you, " I smiled, "Im Lezile, " I finished.

"Lovely to meet you, Lezile. Im Sheri. "

As Sheri introduced herself, two boys came out from the house. The first, a young boy, looked about twelve. The other, looked my age, and absolutely breathtaking. Sheri turned to face the boys and clapped and smiled excitedly.

"Darlings, this is Lezile! She will be staying with us while she studies here. "

"Yes Mum, you have only told us a million times... " the little one said.

"Jonathon, shut up, " his brother replied.

"Niall! Language. "

"Sorry Mum. "

Sheri pointed to the boys and then to the bags, "help her out, boys, please! Thats what you are here for, " she joked.

I choked up, "no, no, really, its okay, I can carry my own things. Its alright. "

"Nonsense, Im glad to help, " Niall replied.

"Me too! " Stated Jonathon.

"Please, you cannot lift five pounds, " retorted Niall.

I smirked and Niall smiled back. The boys grabbed my bags as Sheri paid the driver and he drove off. She linked her arm around mine and proceeded to guide me towards the house, behind her boys.

"You will meet my husband, Thomas, later. Hes at work right now. "

"Okay. " I replied shyly.

She gave me a tour around the house, every part as beautiful as the outside. She led me upstairs and into the guest room, where I would be staying. The room was painted a delicate shade of red, with a Queen bed with black sheets and a comforter and pillows, all the same. It had a dark wooden desk and a walk-in closet. If only I had enough clothes to fill that.

"I hope this is okay, " Sheri said, eyes nervous.

"Its perfect, " I stated with a smile.

"Beautiful. Well, I will let you get settled in. Ill be going out soon, but if you need anything, the boys are just down the hall. "

"Okay, thank you. "

She smiled and walked out of the room. I turned to _my_ bed and opened my first bag.

"Oh, and before I forget, " Sheri started again, leaning into the room. I turned to face her.

"Welcome to Ireland. Im very happy youre here. "

I smiled, "Thank you, Sheri. "

"Please, call me Mum. "

I smiled shyly, "Mum. "

She nodded and left the room again.

In little over an hour, I had unpacked my things, gotten settled in, fired up my laptop and checked my my email, all to find my information about school tomorrow. I was nervous. High school was rough in Canada, I only hope it would be better in Ireland. I stared at the screen on my laptop, eying the classes I would have to bear with all new people.

English Literature  
>Music – Guitar<br>Drama  
>Chemistry<p>

Not a bad semester I would be having. All classes I enjoyed, but my comfort level is shot because it would be with a bunch of strangers.

"Knock Knock, " I heard at my bedroom door. I turned and saw Niall leaning against the frame.

"Who's there?" I joked back.

He smiled, "A charming, blonde, musically talented, handsome boy."

I let out a nervous laugh, "so uh, what's up?"

"Just wanted to make sure you were settled in. Mum and Dad left for a bit. Date night or something at the pub."

I smiled, "that's cute. A date night."

"Yeah," he started, sitting down on the bed, "gives us a chance to be alone, do whatever we want. My brother plays his horrid music really loud, and I have to sit and deal with it," he smiled.

I chuckled, "if I had a brother, I would control the music selection."

"You don't have a brother?"

"Uh, no, only child. My Mom and Dad couldn't really handle more than me."

"Must be lonely."

"A little. Sometimes it's nice."

He smiled, "well, now you've got _two_ brothers to worry about. I'm not going to take it easy on you at school, you know," he teased.

I smiled, "I wouldn't expect anything less from my brother."

He motioned for my laptop and I handed it over. He looked at my schedule and smiled.

"We have Literature and Music together, this is going to be fun."

"Oh yes, tons of."

He smirked, "Look, I know you're probably really nervous, and I don't blame you, but just know that I'm here for you, if you ever need me for anything."

"Thanks, um, I appreciate it."

We sat there, staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity, until Niall broke the gaze and stood up.

"Well, I best let you get to bed."

"Okay, goodnight Niall."

He stopped at the doorframe and turned to me, "goodnight Lezile."

And with that, he closed my door and I let out the deep breath I had been holding in. How can I be expected to go to school and live in a house with a gorgeous host-_brother_ like that? This semester I'm going to have to up my restraint a million times. I set my alarm and crawled into bed. As soon as I closed my eyes, I fell deep into my unconscious state of dreams.


	2. You've Got That One Thing

The next morning I was up and ready at an alarming new record. My nerves about starting a new school, in a completely new country was making me want to throw up, but I knew that I couldn't. I dressed in my simple clothes yet again; beige pants, white t-shirt with a red sweater and my black Vans. I straightened my hair and only applied mascara. I'm not big on makeup.

"Lezile, we have to go!" Niall called from outside my door. He came in and stopped to look at me.

I started panicking, "what? I look horrible, don't I? I'm going to be hated for dressing too much like myself, aren't I?"

Niall smiled, "no, you look like you. I like it."

I smiled and picked up my backpack and walked past Niall and down the stairs.

"Mum, Dad, we're leaving!"

_Mum___came out to the foyer and hugged Niall tightly and put a reassuring hand on my shoulder, "don't worry, everything is going to go great."

I smiled and nodded meekly as Niall put his hand on my back and ushered me out the door. We got into the silver Fiat in the driveway and Niall started the car and backed out and headed down the street. The driving here was very different, but I felt safe with him driving. Mainly because he knew what he was doing. We stayed silent until Niall drove into the parking lot of the school, then he must have heard my heart basically beating out of my chest, because he told me to just breathe and relax. He parked in a shady spot and we got out. Immediately, I noticed that a lot of the girls were looking at Niall. Not that I blamed them, he is beautiful. I walked nervously next to him, immediately feeling that I didn't belong. I felt his hands on my shoulders behind me, guiding me through the groups of people.

"Hey Niall, still looking good," a tall, beautiful brunette girl said to him.

Niall smiled and returned the greeting.

"Friend of yours?" I questioned, distain on my tongue.

"Not really, just someone I talk to every now and again."

By that, I'm sure he means 'bed buddy.'

He continued to look around and wield me through the teenagers. Girls staring awkwardly at me, making me feel inferior to them already.

"Niall! Man, over here!" I heard a boy shout.

"Hey!" Niall shouted back. I looked over and saw four boys sitting on a picnic table, waving Niall down. I was sure he was going to ditch me, but instead he whispered, "you're about to meet your four bestfriends."

I smiled and continued to walk towards the boys. We reached the table and I took in their faces. My goodness, they really grow them well down here.

"Hey lad!" The curly haired boy said. Only he didn't have an accent like Niall did. He was british. They all greeted Niall, and I realized they were all British. Weird.

"Gents, this is Lezile, my-"

"Sister, I presume," the curly haired boy stood up and took my hand, kissing it. I smiled.

"My name's Harry," he smiled back.

"Hi," I replied. It came out to a barely audible whisper.

"Is she shy?" another boy asked. He had brown hair, swept to the side of his face, and a gorgeous smile.

Niall laughed and turned toward me, "stop it, you guys are scaring her."

I blushed and looked down.

The one who asked if I was shy stood up and shook my hand, "I'm Louis," he pointed to the other boys, one, had black hair, gelled upward, and the other had lighter hair, that lightly fell on his face, "that's Zayn, and that's Liam. Harry has already made himself known to you," he chuckled.

"I'm Lezile. It's great to meet you guys," I looked to Niall, who sat on the bench, staring at me proudly.

"So darling, your classes are?" Harry insisted.

"Jesus Harry, knock it off," Niall pursed.

"Calm down, Nialler. Just making Lezile here, feel a little bit more welcome."

I stammered, "English, Guitar Music, Drama and Chemistry."

"We've got English together! How lovely," he smirked.

"I've got Chemistry with you," Liam said.

"I've got Drama with you," said Zayn.

"Well, don't I feel left out..." Louis finished.

I smiled, "don't worry Louis, I'll make time for you."

He smiled in return, "you better. Can't have these guys scaring you away before I get to know you."

We continued to talk until the bell rang, and I got to really like these guys, and I soon opened up and began talking with them like I'd been friends with them for awhile. I've always been myself around guys instead of girls.

"Nialler, did you tell her about the assembly?" Harry asked.

"Assembly? What are you talking about?"

"Oh, well see, the bo-" Harry started, but Niall cut him off, "no! I didn't. I figured she'll see it herself, let's not ruin the surprise."

I smirked and went to English with Harry and Niall. I looked at the aray of seats and felt my stomach tighten. Harry pulled me to sit with him at the back two desks in the corner, while Niall went and sat with the brunette who spoke to him earlier this morning.

"That's Lana, she's been trying to get with Niall for awhile now," Harry whispered.

I turned to him, "how interesting." I joked, when really, it wasn't funny to me at all.

He smiled and playfully shoved my shoulder. English passed by quickly, we simply talked about what we would be learning throughout the semester, like how most first days go.

"Now, class, the assembly will be taking precedent today, now go on and enjoy!" My teacher said happily.

Niall turned and looked to Harry and nodded. I looked between the both of them and stood once Harry got up.

"Sit with me during the assembly?" I asked.

"I would love to, but I'm going to be a little busy during it."

"Oh, that's fine.."

I left the boys and put my bag into my locker and followed the crowd to the assembly hall, where everyone was sitting with friends that they knew, and I was left all alone in the third row from the stage, on the end. The assembly opened up with the School Council, and featured skits and performances by some of the students. I really enjoyed it, it was better than my school's assemblies ever were. The president of the school council came up on the stage after the Football (soccer) team was done.

"And now, I know you're going to cheer like mad like you have many times before, but here are your favorite five boys! Give it up for _our_ one and only, _One Direction_!"

The announcer went offstage and I let my clapping die down with the rest of the students. The red curtain pulled apart and I heard the stringing of guitars. That's when the "boys" turned around and I recognized them immediately.

"Oh my god.." I whispered.

Liam began singing, looking at a girl in the first row, off centre, who I'm assuming is his girlfriend._  
>I've tried playing it cool<br>But when I'm looking at you  
>I can't ever be brave<br>'Cause you make my heart race  
><em>

Students began clapping to the beat and I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The boys were jumping around stage, and Harry began singing, looking directly at me._  
>Shot me out of the sky<br>You're my kryptonite  
>You keep making me weak<br>Yeah, frozen and can't breathe  
><em>

Zayn then picked up where Harry left off._  
>Something's gotta give now<br>'Cause I'm dying just to make you see  
>That I need you here with me now<br>'Cause you've got that one thing  
><em>

Harry shouted "This is for my girl, Lezile!" and pointed right at me.

"Oh god," I cursed, trying to hide my face as all of the students began to stare at me. Harry leapt off stage and came to my seat, pulling me out of my safe zone and began singing right to me._  
>So get out, get out, get out of my head<br>And fall into my arms instead  
>I don't, I don't, don't know what it is<br>But I need that one thing  
>And you've got that one thing<br>_

I tried not to smile and blush, but I couldn't help it. Harry held my hand as Niall began singing. I kept gazing at Niall, amazed at his beautiful voice, and he stared right back.

_Now I'm climbing the walls  
>But you don't notice at all<br>That I'm going out of my mind  
>All day and all night<em>

He finished his verse, and looked away from me, focused on the floor, Harry still holding my hand. Louis began belting his heart out._  
>Something's gotta give now<br>'Cause I'm dying just to know your name  
>And I need you here with me now<br>'Cause you've got that one thing  
><em>  
>Harry held my hand as he made me run around to the stairs and onto the stage, singing to me in front of the whole school. I froze on the spot and all the other guys came and put their arms around me and each other, continuously singing.<em><br>So get out, get out, get out of my head  
>And fall into my arms instead<br>I don't, I don't, don't know what it is  
>But I need that one thing.<br>_

The boys finished their song and the whole school stood up and clapped, as I got out from the embrace and ran off stage. I hate being in front of people, and Harry doing that almost made me faint. I was trying to regain my breath off stage when Louis came to see me.

"You alrigh?" He asked, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I held my hand over my heart, "no, I _despise_ being in front of crowds, and Harry.. doing that.. I-I just, no."

Louis chuckled at my stammering, "well, Harry is a flirt, he probably thinks that won your heart."

"All that did was _stop_ my heart, and not in the good way!"

Louis and I shared a laugh, "but, you guys are amazing. I had no idea that I'd be seeing that on my first day here."

"Yeah, we're trying to make it in music. It's what we love."

"And the school loves you guys," I finished with a laugh.

"Hey, you're all red, are you okay?" Niall asked, jogging backstage.

"Yeah, except that Harry is going to get slapped. I don't like being in front of people. I think I'm going to faint."

"That bad?" He asked worriedly.

"That bad. I have anxiety problems."

"I'll take you home if you want," a moment of pleading in his voice, "the assembly will be on all day."

"I'll walk, it's okay, it's not far."

"I don't want you getting lost," he protested.

"I remember the way, thanks though."

"I don't want someone kidnapping you."

" I can protect myself."

"I don't want you getting hurt in a fight."

I stepped toward Niall, "I can protect myself."

He stepped forward too, "I can protect you."

I smirked, "get the keys."

"Happily," he replied, smiling as he left the stage.

I went and got my bag and met Niall outside, where he was waiting by the car. We drove in silence to the house, and I became dizzy everytime I thought about everyone staring at me. We made it home and I walked past Niall, unlocked the door and went straight up to my room and fell on the bed.

"Dizzy?" Niall asked.

"Only a smidge..." I muttered into the comforter.

I heard him laugh and sit down next to me, "so, Harry fancies you, I think."

"Fancies?" I questioned.

"Yeah, uh, he likes you, I guess you would say."

"Harry doesn't know me. Once he gets to know me, that opinion will change. I'm nothing special," I half joked.

Niall let out a soft chuckle and stood up, closing the door behind him.

I sighed and groaned into my pillow.

***Niall's POV***

I closed her door and stood against the wall.

"You are special.." I whispered to myself.

One day here and I'm already interested in my host-sister. This semester is going to kill me. I went to my room and lay down, letting my thoughts overpower me.


	3. Friday Night

The next month had passed by smoothly, Niall and I had become very close, and living together was extremely enjoyable. His family, I had grown very fond of them, as they had to me. They felt like my real second family and I couldn't of been happier. School was going amazingly, classes with the boys were always made fun and Harry and I were constantly talking to each other, him flirting with every chance he got. Not that I minded really, Harry is very attractive, and so sweet, but it felt off. I had just gotten up and gotten dressed in my dark jeans, a white t-shirt and my white vans. I had simple style, but none of the boys seemed to criticize. I straightened my hair, grabbed my bag and went downstairs to wait for Niall to drive us to school.

I waited, and waited, and being the semi-impatient girl that I am, ten minutes passed by and I grew impatient. I jogged up the stairs and down the hall and prepared to open the door to Niall's room, ready to drag him out by his hair so that they could leave.

I opened the door, not to find him ready, but to see him turned away from me, half naked, pulling on his boxers, "Oh, god! Niall, sorry, I- uh.. I'll just .. wait, out-yeah, okay," I stammered. He jumped and finished pulling on his boxers and grabbed his sweater, attempting to cover up, "Jesus, Lezile!"

"Sorry!" I shouted, slamming the door shut.

I cringed out of embarrassment and cursed myself for not knocking. I went back downstairs, legs shaking with nerves as I heard Niall's bedroom door open and close and his footsteps coming closer to the stairs. I stared at the door as I heard him come down the stairs and grab the keys.

"So, you uh-, ready to go?" He asked, fidding with the strap on his bag.

I nodded and picked up my bag and followed him out to the car and got in. On the drive to school, the radio filled the void of awkward silence, but I couldn't help but hear my heartbeat over the music. Niall parked and we both got out, not speaking nor looking at each other. Niall went over to the boys, most likely to talk about how I walked in on him practically nude this morning, so I simply walked past, heading straight to my locker. Harry, thought that I needed company.

"'Ello, love!" He shouted excitedly at me, putting his arm on my shoulders.

"Why hello there, young sir. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Protecting a beauty while she navigates through the horrible hallways!"

I laughed, "how cute."

"Yes, I am," he smirked.

We stopped at my locker and I grabbed my books for English, and then Harry and I made our way to his locker. On the walk around the halls, Harry kept touching my lower back, pushing me through people. Once we stopped at his locker, I watched the other students passing by, Harry was smiling at me.

I giggled, "what?"

"I want to ask you something," He stated, his accent pouring out in the most adorable way. I thought back to when Niall told me that he thinks that Harry 'fancies' me.

"Yeah?"

"Being Friday and all, I was hoping we could go out tonight, on a date," he asked sweetly.

My insides immediately made me nervous with excitement. I brushed my bangs from my eyes and smiled at him, "yeah, Harry, I'd really love to."

He smiled back and kissed me on the cheek, "Excellent."

The bell rang and Harry grabbed his books and we both headed to class. Niall was already in his seat, talking to the girls around him. We made eye contact, and our gaze continued until I clumsily walked into a desk.

"Ah, god damnit!" I shouted, when Harry came behind me, laughing, escorting my limping self to my seat. My shin throbbed and Harry rubbed my leg to try and soothe it. Niall looked back and saw what Harry was doing, and quickly turned away. Our teacher came in and began talking to us about our new literature partner assignment. We were allowed to pick our own partners, and a boy came up to Harry quickly, and the two of them were partnered up, and he went over to the boy's table. I looked around at all the students pairing up, and I felt completely awkward.

"Hey, partner," Niall chimed, pulling up a seat.

"Hey," I replied dryly.

We sat there in awkward silence as the teacher handed each set of partners a different book. Niall and I got _Juliet, Naked_ by Nick Hornby. I loved this book, I read it back home, but Niall had never, so he had to pull the work. The teacher was explaining how we would divvy up the work, and Niall pulled my seat right next to him and he began to whisper;

"About this morning,"

"No, it's my fault, I should have knocked..," I whispered back.

"Right, well, I just don't want that .. you seeing me, you know-to ruin anything."

"Ruin what?"

"Uh, well, our.. relationship," he scratched the back of his neck.

"Yeah, I understand."

He smiled, "great, so about tonight, the guys and I were going to go to the pub. Come with us?"

I looked down, "oh, I would really love to, but I have a date .. with Harry."

I looked back into his eyes and he looked disappointed, "right, that's okay. We'll all hangout another time," and with that, he scooted his chair away from me and opened his book.

Soon the morning classes were done, and it was time for lunch. Harry and I had gone off property to get some chips from a nearby vendor. We got our food and walked back to school. I tried to walk to the picnic table where Niall, Zayn, Liam and Louis were, but Harry pulled my hand to a separate one, a few tables down from theirs.

"What are you doing?" I asked, because I noticed all of the guys staring.

"You and me. Having lunch," he smirked.

"But, the guys..?"

"They're fine, I just want to spend time with you," he cooed, rubbing my hand as we sat down.

I smiled and opened our containers of chips, or in my Canadian case, fries. I poured ketchup on them, and we dug in. It was nice, sitting and talking, and yeah, flirting with Harry over lunch. He fed me a few chips and I blushed every time, because no guy has ever done that before. Lunch passed by quickly, and Harry and I said our goodbye's until tonight. I daydreamed the rest of my afternoon away, about Harry and what our date would be like, and about what Niall and the guys would be doing tonight at the pub. How much they were going to drink, when they were going to be home, if they were going to meet girls..

And just like that, my thoughts were interrupted by the bell. I dreaded the silent ride home with Niall, but I knew it'd be the only way to get home. I went to my locker, grabbed my homework for the weekend and my bag, and made my way to the parking lot. I waited by the car for nearly 15 minutes when I saw Niall coming out of the school with Lana, the girl he sits with in English. They were laughing and she was touching his arm. I sighed angrily as they said their goodbye's and Niall took his sweet time walking over to the car and letting me in.

"You made me wait because you wanted to talk to her? You could have told me," I started.

Niall started the car and drove away from the school and towards home, "yeah, sorry. Lost track of time," he replied dryly.

"Mhm, whatever."

I felt him look at me with distain at my last comment. I ignored it and kept my eyes focused on the scenery in front of us. As we pulled in the driveway, I practically jumped out of the car and went inside, leaving Niall still in the car. As I slammed my room door shut, my phone beeped. I sighed angrily and opened it, showing a text from Harry.

_I'll pick you up tonight at 9, love. Dress comfy :)._

I smiled at the text and replied, _Okay :)_

It was 3 o'clock, and I was in a horrid mood. I don't know what it was about Niall talking to Lana, but it made my blood boil. I decided to take a nap, because it wasn't fair to Harry if I was in a bad mood tonight.

I woke up at 8, and felt better than I did earlier. I re-straightened my hair, and put on mascara, and simply put on my favorite red sweater over what I was wearing earlier. I listened to my ipod and made sure that I was going to look alright for the date, when it was soon 9, and the door bell rang.


	4. Riverside

**Obviously, I don't own any of the boys from 1D, or their music, or any songs that I will be lyrically quoting in this chapter, or future chapters. Just so I don't get my bum sued :). Thanks for reading! I appreciate it!**

My heart began racing at the sound of the door bell. I ripped out my headphones, grabbed my phone and raced downstairs. I fixed my hair before I opened the door, to see Harry looking handsome as ever. He smiled at me, and I returned the gesture.

"Ready to go?" He asked.

I smiled wide and nodded. I stepped outside and turned around to close the door, noticing Niall sitting at the top of the stairs, eyeing us. I looked down and closed the door. Harry reached for my hand, and I happily let him take it. Harry and I walked into town, where he took me to an oldstyle arcade. We went inside and we played oldschool Pac-Man and Space Invaders, and it was a great time, so easy-going and fun. We ate pizza and laughed at our own silly jokes.

"So is this a completely terrible Friday night?" He asked, wiping away the tears from our laughter.

I giggled, "no," I chuckled again, "not completely."

He feigned a hurt look and grabbed at his heart. I laughed at him, so dramatic.

His phone made a clang ringtone, and he took it out and opened it, reading a text. He ran a hand through his hair.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Oh, uh, nothing. Liam just asked me to go meet them at the pub right now, he said the boys are driving him crazy," he laughed.

I smiled, "you can go if you want, I can make my way home."

"No, I'm on a date with you. You're not going anywhere," he winked.

I thought about how Niall and Louis and Zayn were driving Liam insane. What's the harm in going? I can look after my _bro_...

"You know what? Let's go!" I bounced out of my seat excitedly, grabbing my sweater and swinging it over my shoulders.

Harry laughed at my excitement, "you want to come drink with the boys at the pub? Sure you can keep up?"

I put my hand on his chest, "boy, you've got no idea who you're dealing with," and with that, I walked past him and toward the door. I looked behind and Harry was sure there, hot on my heels.

"Let's get our drink on!" He shouted as we left.

We caught a cab to the pub, Mullingans. Harry spotted Liam in the corner of the bar immediately, watching the other boys as they danced around crazily on the dancefloor. Starships by Nicki Minaj had just begun playing.

I tugged on Harry's sleeve, "Nicki Minaj?" I joked.

"Yeah, we listen to your music too," he retorted sarcastically.

We went over to Liam and he smiled wide, "thank god, mate! I was terrified of spending the rest of the night babysitting by myself!"

I appeared from behind Harry, "Nah, we figured we'd save you!" I shouted over the music.

"What are you doing here?" He shouted back.

"I'm entitled to a little fun!" I smiled.

Harry motioned for the waiter to bring over shots, upon smelling, I knew as Jagger.

"Keep up if you can, love," he chuckled, dropping the shot back. He shook his head and chased it with one of the beers Liam was watching over.

I smirked, took the shot glass in hand, and downed it. I smiled triumphantly at Harry, "I don't chase, little one," I laughed.

"I see how it is!"

We took three more shots, and I was feeling great. Liam doesn't drink, so I sat talking with him while Harry went and joined the craziness on the dancefloor. Liam and I shared some laughs at the boys expense, especially at Louis, arms flailing all around the dancefloor, almost smacking everyone around him.

"So I have to ask, what's with you and Harry?" Liam whisper-shouted in my ear.

"Hanging out, having fun?" Yeah, my answer was more of a question, because I didn't really know how to answer.

I looked out into the dancing crowd again and this time I caught Niall's eyes. He gave a lopsided smile and grabbed Zayn's arm, whispering to him.

"Having fun eh?" Liam answered, "that's all?"

"Yeah! I mean, he's great."

"And Niall?"

I looked at him with confusion, "Niall? What are you-" just then, Zayn ran up to me and began pulling on my arm.

"Come dance with me, love!"

I shook my head and pulled my arm back, "no, no, I can't dance!"

"Go on!" Liam ushered.

"You're coming then!" I bargained, and just as Liam began to protest, I pulled him behind me, as Zayn lead me out to the other boys. The entirety of the bar began shouting with excitement as the beats of a new song began to play. One I recognized, Riverside by Sidney Samson. I saw couples grinding, and others dancing around like hot messes, while the boys were just ... jumping around. I laughed at them, and began jumping with them. A waitor came over with a tray of shots and all of us but Liam took one and placed the glasses back on the tray. I was feeling on top of the world! My confidence went up about ten million miles, because I was then incapable of feeling feelings. Zayn came and grabbed my hands and began dancing with me, spinning me around and jumping around with me.

_Me plus you, that equals better equations  
>We must do, subtraction of your clothes<br>Me and you, got a date tonight  
>Im gonna be so straight tonight<br>These chicks wanna come take me right_

I laughed as Zayn and I danced crazily, it was hilarious! I looked behind me and Liam and Louis were dancing around with each other, mocking Zayn and I, while Niall was being grinded by some brunette across from us. I turned back to Zayn, where Harry was now standing next to us.

"Stop trying to steal my girl, Zayn!"

Zayn laughed and let go of my hands, dancing over to Liam and Louis, who welcomed him with open arms.

I smiled up at Harry and he took my hands in his, twirling me away from him, so my back was to him. We moved our hips in sync as he held my hands with his against my stomach.

_You plus me and me plus you  
>Me plus one, you plus two<br>You plus me and me plus you  
>Me plus one, you plus two<em>

I felt him move his head next to mine and he began lighting kissing my neck. I began laughing at the way it felt and Harry uncurled me from his grasp and lead me to the wall of the bar.

I sighed excitedly as Harry pulled me close to him, "good first date?" He asked.

I nodded and began chuckling, "yeah, I'm having a blast!"

I looked back to the boys and saw Niall still dancing with the brunette girl, but looking at Harry and I. I noticed Harry follow my gaze and I looked back to him. His face became serious and he leaned his head down a little, waiting for my response. I moved my head an inch closer to his, to give him the okay. But was I okay with this? Did I really like Harry?

His hands went to my waist and he pulled me closer to him. I could feel his breath against my lips. I closed my eyes and lifted my head the last little bit to reach Harry's lips. It was great. The kiss was slow, but was filled with as much feeling as I could muster in my drunken state. I ended the kiss and Harry placed a final kiss on the tip of my nose and I smiled dorkily at his gesture. The song ended and the bar was filled with cheers as the next started up. I noticed the time on the wall.

"Harry, it's past midnight."

He pulled away and looked at the clock, then his watch, "shit, shit! I have to be home by one. C'mon, I'll take you home."

The truth is, I didn't want to go home. I wanted to stay and just be numb and feel great.

"I kind of want to stay," I said shyly. I don't know why, it's not like Harry should be upset with me?

"Oh, you do? I really want to stay with you, but I have to be home," he said sadly.

"I'll be going home with Niall, so I'll be safe. Cabbing it, I promise," I smiled.

He hesitated and nodded, taking my hand and leading us over to the boys, who were sitting down at the table.

"Hey Liam, I've got to head home. Are you staying? I'd rather one sober person watch after Lezile, with these drunken idiots," Harry joked.

I wasn't a baby, I didn't need to be looked after.

I felt Niall staring at me, so I looked and saw him staring at mine and Harry's intertwined hands as he took a swig of his beer.

"We'll all watch her!" Louis slurred.

"That's reassuring," Liam replied sarcastically, "yeah, she'll be fine with me here."

"I don't need to be babysat, Harry," I defended.

"You're new here, not everyone's friendly to beautiful, drunken girls. I just don't want you to get hurt."

I looked away but nodded.

"Awwwwe, how sweet!" Louis sang.

"Got to go, mates!" Harry shouted, high fiving each of the guys and kissing my forehead before he left.

I took a seat on a barstool next to Niall, who took another drink of his beer.

"'Notha round, gents?" Louis screamed.

"Round em, Lou!" I shouted back. He pointed enthusiastically at me before disappearing with Zayn at the bar. Niall, Liam and I stayed silent. The silence becoming deafening.

"I think I'm gonna go help the boys..," Liam started on, before getting up and leaving.

Thank you, Liam. Thanks..

I turned my barstool so that I was sitting directly in front of Niall.

"Are you going to smile at all?" I questioned.

"Noooope," he replied, smirking before taking a sip.

I chuckled and hung my head, "you're hopeless."

"In the best way, right?"

I laughed, "oh ya! The very best, nialler!"

"Hey! You don't get to call me that!"

I feigned shock, "and why not?"

He scooted his barstool closer, "everyone calls me that, you can call me _whatever_ you want."

I leaned in closer to him, "sounds like you've got one.."

He bowed his head closer towards mine, in whispering distance, "hottie.., cutie.., Ireland God..,"

I laughed and pushed on his chest, making him laugh in return.

***Liam's POV***

Louis and Zayn were drunkenly teasing each other at the bar, but I couldn't help but look at the scene unfolding in front of my eyes; Niall and Lezile.

"Oi! Mate, what you lookin' at?" Louis shouted. He followed my eyes and his own eyes widened in shock and Lezile and Niall being huddled so close at the table.

"What's goin on there?" He asked.

"Uhh, I have no idea," I replied. Yeah, that was a mild lie. I could tell they were both interested, _very_ interested, but I couldn't meddle. With Lezile and Harry sort-of on now, I was just as confused as Zayn and Louis.

"Suppose they're gon' to snog tonight?" Zayn piped up.

"Hard to say," I retorted.

"They'll snog! Look at Nialler go!" Louis chimed in.

I looked to my two friends, who went back to their drunken conversation, and I looked back to Niall and Lezile. I sighed as she pushed on his chest and they both shared a laugh.

***Lezile's POV***

I was on cloud 9 with Niall, we were joking around, and I really enjoyed us sitting close. He was about the say something when the song _Last Night_ by Good Charlotte came on.

"Oh god, yes!" I shouted.

Niall cracked a crooked smile, "what?"

I put my beer on the table and stood up, "come on, we're dancing!"

"oh, no, no, no! I'm not dancing!" He protested.

I walked a few feet out into the dancefloor and began moving to the beat,

_All that I remember is that you had me at hello.  
>I knew right when I met her that I wouldn't take it slow.<br>The more we heard the music, the more we got in synch.  
>The more I kept you laughing, the less I stopped to think.<br>The last thing I remember, you said this place is beat._..

***Niall's POV***

She was dancing effortlessly, and I couldn't do anything about it but grin at her with a stupid smirk plastered on my face. I smiled at the way she was looking at me, begging for me to go dance with her. I couldn't deny that I really wanted to, and hey, what's the harm? I took a final swig from my beer and set it on the table,

_The last thing I remember, you said this place is beat  
>It must have gotten crazy, 'cuz I can't recall a thing.<em>

And stepped onto the dance floor.

***Lezile's POV***

I laughed as Niall came and joined me. I knew he would, I could see it all over his face. He danced close to me for a verse, but he then laced his fingers through mine, and spun me around a couple of times and pulled me back into him, both of us sharing a laugh. His hands left mine and went to my waist, pulling me closer to him.

_I feel my head's still spinning  
>But I'm doing alright<br>'Cuz I think I just had the best night of my life._

I leaned into him and moved my arms to around his neck. Our faces were close and I could feel his breath on my face. We continued moving to the beat and he leaned his face down to my neck, where he began kissing me, sending a delirious chill down my spine.

I let my hands slide over his chest to his waist, where I slipped my hands just under his shirt, letting his body warm up my freezing hands. Niall moved his face back up to mine, where he rested his forehead on mine, letting our breathing mix together. He moved his head so that our foreheads were no longer touching, but our noses were, lips mere centimetres apart. I swear my heart is going to break right through my chest..

***Liam's POV***

I was laughing and joking with Zayn and Louis for awhile now, and it didn't matter how many times I had seen them drunk, they were even more hilarious each time. I was preoccupied with the guys when I saw that Niall and Lezile weren't at the table.

Wha-did they leave?

I stood on my tip-toes to try and find them when a few girls moved out of the way, showing, in plain view, Niall and Lezile about to snog on the dancefloor. Urgency raced through me as I saw how close they were.

"Time to go!" I shouted to Louis and Zayn, and I broke into a race to Niall and Lezile before it went past the point of return.

***Lezile's POV***

I was waiting for the second when Niall would finish the gap between us. I felt his head move slightly and I was ready to close the space. He held my waist and smiled before..

"Guys! Time to go!" Liam shouted right next to us. I sighed and stepped away from Niall quickly.

"Now?" Niall questioned, scratching the back of his neck.

"Yeah, Louis, he's uh, getting ready to spew all over the bar back there," he laughed nervously, "best be getting home."

Niall looked at me sadly and I nodded my head, "let's go."

I grabbed my sweater from the back of the chair and stumbled toward the door, the boys by my side. We caught a cab and Niall and I were dropped off first. It took us about 5 minutes to drunkily get the key inside the door. Neither of us said a word as we fumbled up the stairs and into our separate rooms.

I groaned deeply before falling on my bed, ending in immediate unconsciousness.


	5. Lost My Head

I woke up at noon the next day, exhausted but not hungover. That's what I loved about myself, no matter how drunk I got, I would always wake up completely fine. I couldn't say the same thing for Niall. At breakfast, Mum made pancakes, but Niall only held his head in his hands at the table, looking like he was going to throw up all over his plate. Jonathon was piling back his food, and I was slowly digesting.

"So what'd my kids do last night?" Mum said.

Niall groaned and I nervously averted my eyes to my plate. I wasn't up for sharing my night; first date with Harry, getting drunk with five boys, kissing Harry, then dancing with Niall, nearly kissing him as well. No thanks, I'll stay quiet.

"Niall?" Thomas, or Dad as they told me to call him, asked.

Niall shot his head up, looked to me, then back to his parents, "went out with the boys to the pub."

Dad laughed then turned to me, "and you, Lezile?"

I opened my mouth, but Niall cut me off, "oh, she and Harry joined us at the pub too. Didn't you?"

I looked at him wearily, "yeah, we did."

"Yeah, Harry had to leave early, but Lezile stuck around with us."

I nodded nervously, "mhmm.."

"And you watched over her, I hope," Dad stated.

I pushed my food around on my plate, the lump in my throat getting harder to swallow.

"Yeah, I remember watching over her."

I slowly moved my eyes to meet his gaze, a look filled with bitterness and triumph.

"Lovely!" Dad replied, who cleared the table and left the kitchen, leaving only Niall and I in the room.

I glared at the table, at the thought of him spilling what _almost_ happened last night.

"Lezile..," he started.

I pushed myself from the table and left the kitchen, hurrying up the stairs, Niall's footsteps coming fast behind me. He grabbed ahold of my shoulder and stopped me, pulling me into his room and closing the door.

"What?" I asked, pissed.

"What's eating you now?" He angrily whispered back.

"Seriously?" I motioned downstairs, "you almost told them what _didn't_ happen last night! What the hell!"

"What _didn't_?"

"Yeah, nothing happened!"

"Then what's the problem in telling?"

"Oh, cut the crap," I pushed past him and stood against his dresser, "with Harry and I.. and then if you told them about you and I, about to.. Just keep your mouth shut."

His eyes narrowed, "and why should I? I'm not stupid."

"What are you talking about now?"

He stepped forward purposely, "last night. You and I. I'm not imagining what happened, and I know you know what we were doing."

I stared back at him, "you don't know anything."

He closed the space between us, towering over me, "I saw the way you were looking at me."

I looked into his eyes and saw the sincerity in the last words he spoke. I didn't reply, I just looked around his room. I felt his hands touch mine.

"Wha-what are you doing?"

"I felt your heartbeat last night," he whispered, "it goes crazy when you're with me.."

"It doesn't," I croaked.

"It does," he stepped closer, our bodies touching, "I'll prove it.."

I just stood there. I couldn't get my brain to tell my stupid body to move away from him, that this was crazy. He interlaced our fingers and held our hands in between our bodies. I looked away. I'll be damned if I let him win this. His face appeared in front of mine, making me look right into his eyes. He let go of my hands and moved them to my waist, encircling them on my back, and I let my hands rest on his chest. My heart began to race. I looked at the wall again.

"Look at me," he whispered. I returned my gaze to him, and he was only centimetres away.

He kissed my cheek, and that minimal contact was enough to make my heart pound against my chest, making me hurt.

He hugged me and held me close, and I knew then he could definitely feel my heartbeat, but I felt his as well. His was beating at the same rate, and if not harder, than mine.

I hugged him back tightly, and we just stood there. No moving, no talking, nothing.

What about Harry? What the hell was I going to do now! This connection with Niall.. it's far too strong to ignore. But I've already kissed Harry, and taking that back would crush him; but if I go with him, Niall's hurt. Whatever I choose, someone is going to get hurt.

"Yours is beating fast too..," I whispered.

"Because you're beautiful," he whispered back.

I smiled into his shoulder and hugged him tighter. But I quickly got a guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach, and forcefully, I pushed him away.

"I, uh-.. should go get dressed."

I swiftly left his room and went to my own, closing and locking the door. I checked my phone and saw a missed text from Harry.

_Amazing date last night. Too bad I had to share you with the boys, I wanted you all to myself. Text me later, beautiful :)_

I sighed and threw my phone on my bed. I changed into some tan pants, a navy blue tshirt and my white sneakers. I threw my hair into a messy ponytail and put concealer on under my eyes.

What the hell was I going to do now? Harry's interested, Niall is calling me beautiful and holding me at every chance he can get. Yet I had no idea who I wanted. I am interested in Harry, he's amazing and keeps me laughing, but Niall, he's just incredible, and the connection we have is just too strong to ignore, but he's my host-brother; is that even allowed? I had to get out of my head, so I texted Harry.

_Hey you :)I'm bored, come over?_

I waited a few minutes and got a reply,

_On my way!_

I smiled and waited. A half hour later, Harry was over, and up in my room.

We were playing Slaps, laughing and flirting and just having fun.

"You cheated! I slapped it first!" I shouted.

"No way!" Harry laughed back.

I pushed him and he fell over on the bed.

"Oi!" He yelled and shoved me back. I feigned shock and shoved on his chest again.

He grabbed my hands and held me steady in front of him. He smiled and I returned the gesture. I was feeling brave and made the move. I leaned in and connected our lips, feeling Harry smile into the kiss. I moved closer and moved my hands to his neck, pulling him to me. He held my waist firmly. He broke the kiss, and pushed the deck of cards off the bed, making me laugh. He smirked and pushed me back, crawling over me until he was laying on top of me. I became lost in the kiss, my mind clouding over and all of my rational thinking falling behind me. The kissing continued on for awhile, when I stopped him.

"I think we should stop," I breathed.

He took a deep breath and nodded, "yeah."

Harry continued to lay on me, resting his head on my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair and he held me around my waist.

I swore incessantly in my mind, knowing full well why I stopped kissing; Niall.

I kept imagining that it wasn't Harry kissing me, but Niall. How much longer could I keep this charade going? Did I want to? Was it just the chase I enjoyed? Toying with both of them, leaving one of them hurt? I had to make a decision. A hard one to do, with Harry fast asleep on me. I continued to play with his hair, and he moaned peacefully. Would I be able to make it out of this drama-free? Something tells me that I'd have to work my butt off to get it done.

A couple hours of napping later, Harry and I woke up. We were laying next to each other and I stretched huge, and it felt amazing. Harry was smiling at me and pulled me close to him when I finished stretching.

"So, I've got a plan for our next date," he smiled.

My stomach tightened and I replied, "uh, next date?"

"Yeah! Semi dance at school on Friday, be my date?"

I half smiled, "yeah, I'll go."

His smile fell, "don't knock me over with your excitement."

"Im sorry, it's just, I have to go dress shopping now! And that's never been my cup of tea," I fake chuckled.

He smiled, "you'll be stunning even if you wear your sweater and jeans."

I smirked and we kissed.

"Suppose you should head home, it's getting to be supper time," I said.

He snuggled into the crook of my neck and mumbled, "do I have to..?"

I laughed, "yes, Harry, go home."

He groaned and stood up and I followed suit.

We left my room and I walked Harry to the door. He opened it and stood there, waiting.

"Get on!" I joked.

He leaned in and we kissed good-bye, and then he left.

I closed the door and retreated back up the stairs.

"That's cute," Niall said sourly.

I stopped and turned to face him, "excuse me?"

He pushed himself from the wall and advanced toward me.

"Nothing, just the charade you're playing with Harry, it's adorable."

"Charade?"

"Don't play stupid with me, Lezile. I know it means nothing!"

"What the hell's the matter with you! What Harry _and_ I do together, is none of _your_ business!"

He gripped his hair in his hands, his voice raising, "my house, my business!"

"I live here too you know!"

"Well I wish you didn't!"

I was taken aback, I didn't think Niall had it in him to be so rude. I bit my lip and nodded, "I'm gone then."

I stormed into my room, ripping the closet door open and grabbing my suitcase. I threw it on my bed and went to my dresser, grabbing clothes and tossing them into the bag. Screw folding! I heard my door close, but I kept raging and throwing all of my stuff into the bag, squishing it so everything would fit. I felt Niall's hands grab at my arms, "stop," he told me.

I shook my arms, trying to close my bag, "let go of me."

He kept a firm grip as I tried to zip up my bag.

"Let me go! You want me gone, so I'm leaving!"

"Stop it!" He shouted.

I shook him off and walked around my bed, away from him, "no! Screw this school, this country, this town! And screw you!" I screamed back. I went back to grabbing my things from the nightstand. He rushed over and grabbed me again.

"Knock it off! This is ruddy stupid!"

"You're stupid, now get away from me!"

He knocked my stuff out of my hands and turned me to face him, "I'm not letting you leave," he told me firmly.

"You don't want me here," I spat.

"All I want is for you to stay here! To stay here, with me! Not Harry!" He shouted at me.

"I don't wanna hear this," I moved away from him.

"You're going to! I can't bare seeing you kiss him! To know he's holding you when _I_ should be! I should be the one taking you out, and holding your hand, and kissing you whenever I want, not him! He doesn't deserve you!"

I leaned against the wall and watched Niall sigh with frustration after his outburst.

"I'm leaving, then you won't have to worry," I replied dryly.

He pushed me back when I tried to walk past him.

"Niall, move."

I tried again but he held me back, "_move_!" I shouted.

He pushed me to wall and I struggled.

"You're not leaving," he growled.

"You told me to! You can't take it back!"

"Did you hear me? You're _not_ leaving me!"

"I'm not your property, I can go if I want to!"

He held me against the wall, and despite my struggling and pushing, it was getting me nowhere. He moved his face right in front of mine, and I could feel his breath on my lips.

"Don't," I whispered.

He gazed at me pleadingly. I swallowed hard as my heart raced and my insides held such a euphoric feeling it was making me sick.

"You can't ignore _us_, what we have," he whispered.

"There's no us," I stated and I began pushing against him. I had to get out of this situation before I caved into him.

I stepped away from him and he followed me.

"You can't do this to me!"

"What are you talking about? Do this to _you_? You're killing me and you don't realise it!"

I pushed him, "you don't think this is killing me? I'm pissed when I see you talking to Lana at school! When I saw you dancing with that girl last night! It's not just poor little Niall who's being affected!"

"Then be with me! I don't understand!"

"Harry asked me to go out, so I did! He asked me, so I said yes! That's what you do!"

Niall laughed sardonically, "that's what you do.. that's what you do! How can you be so blind!"

"Don't you dare shove this on me, you had chances. You could have asked me out, you could have kissed me!"

"I know," he stated.

"And another-wait, what?"

"I know. I'm sorry that I didn't take you out when I had the chance. I'm sorry I pretended not to have feelings for you for as long as I did, and I'm sorry that I didn't kiss you. But I'm not sorry about how I feel about you."

I sighed heavily. How did I get myself into this mess?

Niall came over to me and took me in his arms. I struggled, the last thing I needed was to be held by him.

"Am I out of time?" he whispered.

I looked up at him and I could tell he was upset.

I placed my hand on his neck and rubbed circles on it, while I held his arm with my other hand.

"Shit," I whispered, and with that, I pulled him down towards me and kissed him. The kiss was slow and filled with a passion that made my stomach turn. He smiled into the kiss and held me firmly and pushed me against the wall. I ran my fingers through his hair and he gripped my waist. The kiss turned feverish and Niall lifted me up, my legs locking around his waist, and he walked us to the bed. The bed that Harry and I had made out in only a few hours earlier.

I laughed aloud as we fell on the bed, and he chuckled at my happiness. We continued kissing for what felt like years, and I didn't want it to end. But my thoughts were clouded with thoughts of Harry; I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate me snogging with Niall. I had the funny sweetheart who always made me laugh, and the cute romantic who wanted to give me the world; both of whom I had made out with in the past 24 hours.

Our kissing ended and Niall held me close next to him, neither of us saying a word. Just blissful silence.

And just like that, I lost my head.


	6. More Than This

Last night I barely slept, knocked over with the excitement that Niall and I had spent most of the night in each other's arms. It's Sunday afternoon, and I had been flirty texting with Harry most of the day, some of which I enjoyed, but I don't know, something was different. I laid on my bed, flipping my phone around, thinking way too much.

There was knock at my door, "ya, come in."

I saw Niall open the door and I smiled at his subtle smirk.

"You busy?" He asked with a smile.

I nodded and set my phone on the nightstand, "now I am."

He locked the door and I walked over to him, having him open his arms and pull me into him. I looked up at him and he kissed me. I smiled into the kiss and gripped his waist, keeping him close to me. I really didn't know how this was going to play out the rest of the time at school, being with Harry out in public, because I hadn't quite figured out how to end it.. and being with Niall at home. Niall groaned into the kiss as I ran my fingers through his hair. He fiddled with the zipper on my sweater, but soon it was undone and tossed on the floor.

I broke the kiss and smiled at him, and he mimicked me. I went and laid down on my bed, and Niall followed. He laid on top of me and just smiled.

"You're beautiful," he whispered.

I groaned goofily and covered my face with my hands, and Niall chuckled, "what, you don't think so?"

I uncovered my face to see Niall right in front of my face. I rested my hands on his shoulders and leaned my head down enough to kiss him. I don't know what it was about him, but my stomach churned in the most pleasant way when we were together. Even before, when we would just sit together in class, it felt amazing. With Harry, I felt like I was comfortable, but that I also had to try a little harder than I did when I was with Niall. I was in a hell of my own making, and I can't get out without getting burned.

"So I was thinking, Friday night," he started, and my stomach instantly flipped and I thought I was going to puke. Friday. I was going to the Semi with Harry. Shit!

"Friday?" I questioned.

"I don't know if you went to dances at your old school, but ours are good I suppose, and I .. I want you to go with me."

I swallowed hard. I was hoping to never have this dilemma, and now it was staring me in the face. His eyes were hopeful, like he already knew I was going to say yes. Which I would, if I hadn't already told Harry that I was going with him, while keeping up this sick love-triangle charade. Besides, he's my host-brother, and isn't that, in some way, kind of sick?

I stammered, "I-uh.. the dance, I've.."

His eyes softened and he whispered, "Harry asked you.."

"Niall, I-"

He slowly sat up and moved away from me, "it's fine," he replied.

I grabbed onto his arm, my head spinning, trying to find a way to explain this.

"No, it's not, I-I just, I already said yes, and this was before yesterday when you.. when you and I, were you _and_ I, you know?"

He wouldn't look at me; If I were him, I wouldn't either.

I sat in front of him, getting ready to bleed my heart out.

"I want _this_, and you, but I just-It's-"

"Harry," he finished, "I get it. Harry's Harry, and I'm .. me."

I sighed and started fumbling my hands around, trying to understand, "what's that supposed to mean?"

"He's a flirt, and I'm not. He's good looking; perfect hair, perfect eyes, perfect _smile_. I've got none of those."

"No, that's not it! Before you and I kissed, yeah, I had Harry, but you have to understand, what he looks like has nothing to do with it! Niall, you're handsome, I don't know why you can't see that!"

"So it's not his looks? So it's his personality! It's better than mine, is that it?"

Great, he completely ignored what I said about him and went straight for the negative. There's no winning!

"What? No! You have an amazing personality, where is all this coming from?"

Niall stood up from the bed and walked toward the door. I jumped off the bed after him.

"I won't do this," he whispered at the door.

"Do what?"

"Play this game!" he shouted.

"What game!"

"Competing for you, because I can't win!"

"Competition? It's just you, there is _nobody_ else!"

His face turned angry, "Harry! There's Harry, and when he wants a girl, he gets her! I can't beat him! He'll get you, and I'll be broken!"

"Niall, you need to calm down, just take a breath," I pleaded.

He shook his head and looked at the ground, "I don't want to be without you.."

Tears stung my eyes at what he said. He was really broken up about this.

"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere," I whispered, pulling him into a hug.

He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. I felt so guilty, hurting someone so innocent like Niall, when he did nothing wrong.

"I told him I would go, but after that, I'm done, I promise," I whispered to him.

"What if it's not?"

I pulled away and he looked at me mournfully, "what if you keep getting sucked back into this with him?"

"I wont."

"You can't tell me that. You may mean that-,"

"I do mean that!" I argued.

He sighed, "but it doesn't mean that this will work out. Things happen."

"_Things_ happen?"

"People get carried away. You may like me, but what if there's a connection between you and Harry, and that's why you're still doing this with him?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it.

"I want this. Just me and you, I don't want to have to share you with Harry, and be wondering if he's giving you things that I can't."

"Niall-"

"Go to the dance, and just.. let me know what you decide."

He let go of me, opened the door and left my room, and me, all alone.

***Skip to Friday***

The past week had been hell. I tried desperately to avoid Harry, but I learned that that was a task easier said than done. English was horrible, working with Niall and neither of us saying a word. Music Guitar class had been going really well. We were all supposed to come up with a song of our own, with or without lyrics. I was having a mental block all week, probably because of all the stress I had going on. We had a few soundproof rooms and all week I had heard little snippets of what Niall was working on, and it sounded beautiful. Once this mess is behind us, I hope that he'll play it for me.

I had gone out shopping with Mum a few days ago and picked out a dress for Semi. Dresses weren't my thing, but I learned to suffer through these kinds of moments. It was knee length, black on the top and white on the bottom. The less-hideous looking of all the dresses. I bought simple black heels for tonight too. Again, not exactly my high-tops, but I was going to try not to fall on my face. The dance started at 7, and it was now 6:30, and I was growing nervous with every passing second. Harry said he was going to pick me up at 7, but Niall had already left with Liam, Louis and Zayn. He said they were going to be singing tonight at the dance, and that's about the most conversation we had made all week. I had just finished straightening my hair, because curly or even wavy hair just does not suit me. I put on only mascara and slipped into my dress and heels and waited downstairs.

I played with my hands as the nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach resurfaced. Was I nervous because I did like Harry? Or because of how I was torturing Niall? Knowing me, it's probably to do with both...

It was about ten after 7 and the doorbell rang, and I nearly jumped out of my own skin. I stood up and opened the door, and my heart almost stopped at the site of him. Harry, dressed in grey dress pants that closed a little tighter at his ankles, black shoes, burgundy button up and a black tie, with his perfect hair done just right. Oh god, this is what Niall was talking about.

"Wow, you look beautiful," He stated, grabbing my hand and placing a white corsage on my wrist.

I found this kind of thing cheesy, but I just went along with it.

"Thanks. You look handsome," I replied.

"Only for you," he smiled.

I locked the door and Harry lead me to the car, where he opened the door for me and let me slide in.

I sighed heavily once the door was shut, but composed myself as he got in. He smiled and started the car, taking us toward what I was sure to be, a very uncomfortable night. We arrived at the school, and I could hear the pounding of the music from outside. There was a banner and lights outside, making the school actually look really nice. Harry opened the door for me and I got out. He held my hand and we walked up to the door.

"Wait," he said.

"What?"

He stepped toward me and brushed my hair to the side before leaning in and kissing me. It only lasted a couple of seconds, but that was enough to make me feel even worse.

I smiled my best fake smile and we walked inside and through the halls toward the gym. The gym was decorated with white lights, and really nice curtains hanging on the side, in white, burgundy and black. The stage was light up, but there was a DJ playing right now. There was a table with food and drinks, and tables set up with white table cloths for people to sit. Way nicer than any Canadian dance, let me tell you.

I was searching for Niall, but I couldn't find him anywhere. The song Lay Down The Law by The Switches began playing, which I loved.

"Hey you! Come dance!" Liam told me, grabbing my arm.

"Trying to steal me from Harry, are you?" I joked.

He just looked at me seriously, "I need to talk to you."

Harry nodded at Liam and went off with a couple of guys.

I half-smiled at Liam and let him guide me through the people to the middle of the dancefloor. He turned toward me and he held my hands in his and we began moving around to the music.

"So what'd you want to talk to me about?" I shouted.

He held me close to him so that our faces were right next to each other's.

"This thing," he started, "with Niall and Harry."

My stomach tightened even more, which I didn't think was possible.

"Liam-"

"No, listen to me."

I sighed and nodded.

"Harry is great, but he loves girls. He is a flirt, and I don't know if you two are serious or you're just snogging, but whatever it is, you have to know it's killing Niall."

Liam spun me around a couple times and then pulled me back to him.

"Harry asked me to the dance before.."

I stopped myself. I didn't want to risk telling Liam that I had already made out with Niall while I was still 'with' Harry. It'll only make this worse.

"Before you snogged with Niall?"

I gave him a surprised look, "you know?"

"I know a lot more than I let on. I know that you and Niall are closer now than you'll probably ever be with Harry. I know that you two almost kissed last weekend at the pub. Why do you think I ran over to you guys?"

"Oh, god.." I whispered.

Blame It On September by Allstar Weekend began playing, and Liam put his hands on my waist, and I put mine around his neck.

"Niall's sensitive, and you really have no idea how much he cares for you."

"There's no way to get out of this without anyone getting hurt," I sighed.

"You can't worry about that. Just think about who you want."

"I'm sorry, Liam," I whispered.

"Hey, what are you apologizing for?" His voice dropped and I rested my head against his.

"I've come here and I've already ruined your guys' friendship, by this whole thing with Niall and Harry."

He chuckled soothingly, "hey, it's okay, shit happens," he rubbed my back and I hugged him tightly.

"Mind if I cut in?" I felt Liam's head move and I followed his gaze to see Niall standing next to us.

"Sure, mate," Liam said, and we let go. I smiled at him as he walked away.

Niall held my waist and I put my hands on his shoulders. It was tense and very awkward, until Niall pulled me close and hugged my waist. I gave in and hugged him back as we moved to the music.

"If I'm not who you pick, then I want to make this dance count," he whispered.

"I already told you..,"

"That it's over after tonight," he finished for me. He continued, "I wish I could believe that it will be over, but with Harry, I don't know."

I hugged him tighter, fighting to hold back the tears that I wanted to so desperately cry out.

"It's you," I choked out, "it's gotta be you."

He didn't say anything. He just kissed my cheek and let me go, leaving me alone on the dance floor as the song finished.

"Hey, love!" Harry cooed. He wrapped his arms around my waist and spun me around. I chuckled as he set me down.

"The boys have a surprise," he said.

I faced him, "what do you mean?"

"I'm not sure, something Niall planned for tonight."

I turned to the stage and saw Liam, Louis, Zayn and Niall all there. Niall, with his guitar in hand. Louis grabbed his mic, "we're all pretty chuffed to let you all know that you're favorite boys, _us_," he smirked, "are giving you a taste of new music!"

The crowd cheered, but I only watched Niall.

"Written by our very own, Nialler!"

The crowd cheered again, and the boys all sat down, as Niall began strumming his guitar. I recognized it immediately. This is what he was working on in class.

Liam brought the mic to his lips and began singing,  
><em>I'm broken, do you hear me?<br>I'm blinded, 'cause you are everything I see,  
>I'm dancin' alone, I'm praying,<br>That your heart will just turn around,_

_And as I walk up to your door,  
>My head turns to face the floor,<br>'Cause I can't look you in the eyes and say,_

They all began singing, with such brilliance and passion that it made my heart ache,

_When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,  
>It just won't feel right,<br>'Cause I can love you more than this, yeah,  
>When he lays you down,<br>I might just die inside,  
>It just don't feel right,<br>'Cause I can love you more than this,  
>Can love you more than this,<em>

I saw Niall open his eyes and look straight at me.

_If I'm louder, would you see me?  
>Would you lay down<br>In my arms and rescue me?_

I swallowed hard and felt tears brim my eyes, and I could see that he was doing the same._  
>'Cause we are the same<br>You save me,  
>When you leave it's gone again,<em>

He looked away from me and focused on playing his guitar. Louis began singing,

_And when I see you on the street,  
>In his arms, I get weak,<br>My body fails, I'm on my knees,  
>Prayin',<em>

They sang the chorus together, and Zayn belted out an amazing solo, and soon, the song was done, and all that was to be heard was the insane screaming from the crowd, praising their hometown boys and their amazing talent. I felt weak.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked.

I shook my head no, "I can't, Harry-I-" I just stuttered, I couldn't get this out.

He walked me to the side of the gym.

"Hey, what's going on?"

I looked back to the stage and saw Niall looking at us, packing away his guitar. Harry held my head in his hands and turned me back to face him.

"Love, what is it?"

"Why do you like me?"

He seemed taken aback, "Uh, well, you're beautiful, you're funny."

I looked to the ground. I knew I should have been happy at what he said, but I know that if I were to have asked Niall, he would have given me a list of things.

"Do you like me?" He asked.

I stayed silent. I couldn't look at him, for fear that I might turn to stone. He sighed.

"Is it Niall?"

I nodded.

"Then what are we doing?" He asked softly.

"I don't know," I choked out a sob, but held it in, "I'm so sorry Harry, I shouldn't of treated you like this."

He brought me to him and hugged me.

"You want to make me happy?"

I looked up at him with confusion, "how?"

"Make him happy."

I wasn't sure if it was sincere, so I didn't move. Harry smiled and lightly pushed me away from him.

"Go."

I leaned up and kissed him one last time, before running off for who I wanted. I ran to the stage and asked where he went, and Zayn told me that he was going to walk home. I took off my heels and headed for the doors.

It was dark out now except for the lights outside, giving a glow to the property. I saw Niall at the end of the parking lot, and I began running toward him.

"Niall!"

I continued to him, and shouted again. He stopped this time. I shouted once more, and he turned around. I stopped about 10 feet away. I didn't want to run to him, because he could be extremely pissed off and not want to see me.

"What?" He groaned.

"Get out, get out, get out of my head," I began quoting, "and fall in to my arms instead."

He smirked.

"I don't, I don't, don't know what it is.."

He took a few steps toward me and stopped.

"but I need that one thing, and _you've_ got that one thing."

I caught my breath and now Niall was smiling.

"So..," he started.

"I told you it was over," I smiled

"Hmmm.. you know, now that you ended it, I don't think I want you."

I smirked and sprinted to him, jumping in his arms. He smiled and hugged me tightly, spinning me around. He set me down and just smiled at me. He looked at my lips, then back up to my eyes.

"First kiss as _you and I_, make it count," I whispered.

"First kiss of the rest of our lives," he countered.

"Keep dreaming," I smirked, and with that, we kissed, for the first time as Niall and Lezile. The real us. No pretending, no Harry, no other girls. Stripped down to the basic layer or ourselves, and my heart raced at his words.

_First kiss of the rest of our lives._

That's a deal I wouldn't mind keeping.

**Don't worry, it's not done, ahahah. I have loads more to write about, if you guys still want to continue reading. If yes, then leave a review or msg me asking for more. And if not, then do the same, but tell me to call it quits. And if you picked up on the little song placements I put in their conversations, then congratulations :)**


	7. Laid

The next couple of weeks passed by effortlessly. Niall and I were officially together and everything was going great between us. Things had actually been going alright with Harry as well, we were friends and all was well. He didn't seem phased at all at our 'fling.' We had been texting quite a lot, but at school we barely spoke.

It was Saturday night and Niall and I were at home. Mum and Dad had taken Jonathon out for the night to some arcade. None of them knew about Niall and I, and it was getting hard to pretend that our feelings didn't exist.

"Niall, if you scare me, I swear to god..," I shouted.

We were playing Hide and Seek, something that became somewhat of a ritual between us, and he was good at it.

It was dark outside, and we had turned off the lights in the house, to make it just a bit more fun. I felt around numerous rooms in the house, and I smirked, knowing that Niall was probably hiding in his room. I pushed the door open and felt my way inside. I got a nervous feeling in my stomach, because he usually popped out and scared me half to death.

"Niall..," I whispered.

I leaned down and tried to see under the bed. I stared for a few seconds, but since nothing popped out, I figured he wasn't there. I stood up and was about to leave when I smacked into a body behind me. I screamed as Niall held me close to him.

"Shhhh," and with that, he laughed.

I groaned, "you're dead."

He laughed in my face and began tickling me.

"Stop! Niall, stop it!" I shouted through giggles.

Tickling is like rape, except you're forced to laugh. It's a painful thing to endure.

"Who's dead?" He smirked, grabbing at my sides.

"Me, okay! Just stop!"

He stopped tickling and my laughing eventually died down. I looked up at him to find him staring at me.

I smiled, "what?"

"Kiss me," he stated proudly. I smirked at his boldness, but obliged nonetheless.

I pulled him down to me and kissed him, lingering for a few seconds. We kissed innocently a few more times before the kiss got deeper, and an earnest fire burned inside me.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket, but in this moment, I just let it go. Whoever it was, they could wait.

Niall walked us toward the bed, holding me closely as we laid down. I held Niall close to me, and every time we were _close_ like this, it made me really happy to know that he was mine. His hands slid to the hem of my shirt, his cold hands touching my scorching skin. Now, Niall and I had talked about us, and the whole sex issue. I told him that while I was okay with doing some things with him, I wasn't ready for sex. I was surprised, but he told me that whatever I was comfortable with, is fine with him, and that he didn't want us to have sex until we were in love. Not many teenage boys think that way, and it just reassured me that I am the luckiest girl in the whole world to find the most amazing boy ever.

My phone buzzed again and the vibrating feeling against my bum made me laugh.

Niall chuckled at my girly response, but soon it was back to us speaking with our mouths. His hands gripped my bare waist from where he slid my shirt up, and I reached down and moved my hands under his shirt. I began slowly pushing it up his stomach. He broke the kiss and looked at me. I nodded and he kissed me briefly before sitting up, and I followed. He took his shirt off, as I did with mine. I became a little self conscious, but Niall held my waist and leaned down and kissed me sweetly.

I kissed him back, and I pulled him back down with me so that we were lying on the bed. My phone buzzed _again_ and I sighed. Niall pulled back.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, figuring that he was now getting annoyed.

"It's okay," he replied.

We began kissing again, and I slid my hand down and reached for Niall's belt. I un-did it, pretty slowly I might add because frankly, this is a first for me. I wasn't exactly skilled.

Niall used his free hand to unbutton my jeans, and then he let his hand fall to my waist.

My phone's ringtone went off, Oh My Goodness by Olly Murs

"_I don't know, if I can stop now, I'm going too fast, heart bursts, my head just can't slow me down.._"

I groaned and broke from my kiss with Niall to fish out my phone from my back pocket. I looked at the caller I.D, the bright light illuminating half of Niall's room.

Harry Styles.

I swallowed hard. Why the hell was Harry phoning me? Oh god, he was probably the one who was texting me.

"Answer it," Niall whispered against my neck. He was too busy planting kisses to look at my phone. I'm sure if he saw who was calling, he'd change his tune pretty quick.

I slide the green bar across the screen and held the phone to my ear.

I coughed, "hello?"

"Hey, love!" Harry greeted cheerfully.

My eyes widened, but Niall didn't hear him, because he was busy rubbing circles on my waist and placing butterfly kisses on my neck.

"Hey, uh, now's not really a good time..,"

"Why haven't you answered my texts tonight? I thought you died!"

Niall's kissing was distracting me, that's why.

"Huh? Yeah, sorry. I've been busy tonight."

Niall leaned up and kissed me forcefully before kissing my cheek.

"What was that?" Harry asked.

"What? What was what?" I asked, getting distracted by Niall smirking at me.

"That smacking sound, wha-.. Oh, you're with Niall..," His voice dropped.

"Harry-," and with that one name drop, Niall's smirk disappeared, and it was replaced with mild anger and confusion.

"Nope, whatever. It's fine. I'll talk to you later."

Niall held out his hand, asking for the phone. I shook my head. He motioned for me to give it to him, but there was no way in hell I was letting that happen.

"What's wrong? You sound down."

"Me? Never. I'm happier than hell!" His voice perked up, but I wasn't buying the shit he was selling.

"Harry..,"

"Have fun with Niall," and then the line went dead.

I set my phone on the nightstand and turned back to Niall, who was staring at the ceiling.

"Why is Harry phoning you?"

"I don't know."

He turned toward me, "honestly, I really don't know."

"Was he the one texting you?"

"I don't know, but probably."

"You're not going to check?"

I crawled on him and laid down, kissing his chest a couple times, "I'm with you. I'm much rather interested in what you say."

He smiled his beautiful crooked smile, "good answer, high five."

He held his hand out and I chuckled before returning his high five. He intertwined our fingers, and pushed me to the side, so that we were facing each other.

I leaned in and kissed him gently, and he returned it. I'm glad he wasn't going to dwell on Harry's phone call. We continued kissing for a few minutes before I began moving my hand to his pants. We broke the kiss, only centimetres apart, just looking at each other. I took the next step and slid my hand under his underwear, touching him. He breathed out at the contact before grazing over my stomach and mimicking what I'd done to him, and I jolted a little at his touch.

***Harry's POV***

I paced around my room after my little phone call with Lezile. I texted her but she didn't answer, when she would always answer within a couple minutes. I don't know what the bloody hell was happening to me. I was acting like a desperate chick. I ran my fingers through my hair, sighing deeply.

I replayed the sound I heard when Niall kissed her. I groaned in disgust. What the hell did he have that I didn't? I tried to wrap my brain around the idea that she just didn't care, and that I shouldn't, but I wasn't able to let go. She's beautiful, and hilarious and amazing, and so easy and fun to be around, but Niall was getting her and I was left with nothing but the memory of our minimal time together. I wretched at the thought of Niall getting to _be_ with her, to touch her and enjoy all of her, body and mind, when I was left with nothing. Nothing but my imagination, that I really wish would bugger off and leave me alone.

Niall is not meant for her. He's one of my best mates, and it's not right for me to degrade him, but he doesn't deserve her. I do. We're the same, her and I, and I just need to get her alone with me again to prove it to her. If I can embody the best parts of myself, and the parts about Niall that she likes so much, then she'll see that we're a better pair than her and him. All I had to do was show her.

***Lezile's POV***

Our ragged breathing filled the room as we lay next to each other, holding one another tightly. We lay still and not talking. There was no need for words. I held him tight, as he did to me, and I smiled as I felt him smile into the crook of my neck. He lifted his head and stared at me through his gorgeous eyes.

"You make me really happy."

I chuckled, "I bet I did."

He shook his head, "no, not like that. Well, yeah,"

I laughed.

"But seriously, you make me incredibly happy. I couldn't be happier, and knowing that you're mine.. I just can't believe how lucky I am."

"Luck of the Irish," I joked.

He laughed, "I was having a moment!"

I smiled and stroked his neck.

"Me too."

"You too?"

"You're way too good for me, Niall," I whispered.

"Other way around."

I sighed at the sudden realization that our bliss was going to end soon.

"I don't wanna leave you..,"

He sighed as well, knowing what I was talking about.

"You don't have to? You can stay here, with me."

"Niall-"

"Okay, okay..," he whispered, rubbing my arm, "let's just be happy. We'll figure out the rest later."

I smiled and nodded, and he held me in his arms.

I didn't know what was going to happen soon, with anything. My schooling, _One Direcion_'s music, my relationship with Niall.. or Harry. I had dodged a bullet with Harry, so to speak, but I had a gut wrenching feeling that I wasn't quit out of the woods just yet.


	8. Call Me Maybe?

***Harry's POV***

Just phone. Just pick up the phone, punch in the number, and talk. Breathe. Breathe then phone.

I paced my room and ran my hands through my hair. Phone her, you coward! My stomach churned as I went through my contacts and searched Lezile's name, hitting the green call button. The dial tone ring has never sound more loud to me than in this moment.

"Harry? Hey!" She sounded cheerful. Thank God.

"Hey you," I breathed.

"I was just about to text you, way to beat me to it," she giggled.

I smiled wide, "you were?"

"Yeah! Niall and I-" she started.

My mood instantly dropped at her words; _Niall and I_...

"were hoping that you could come over today?"

I felt as if I was a child getting called down to the principal's office. My stomach knotted tighter.

"Uh.. why?"

"Well we invited Louis, Liam and Zayn over to watch movies and hangout. It won't be the same without you..,"

"So, _you_ want me to come over and hangout?"

"Yeah, I do," and I could hear her smile through the phone.

"Wouldn't want to disappoint you, beautiful. I'll be there."

I heard rustling on the other end and held the phone closer to my ear. I could hear Lezile whispering.

"It's Harry," she whispered.

"Why is he phoning you now!" Niall replied quietly.

"I don't know, but I invited him over later."

"And you didn't tell me?" he whispered angrily.

I became tense at his words.

"I just did," she told him.

"Give me the phone," he stated.

"Niall-"

"Give me the phone."

I became a little nervous, hoping that Lezile wouldn't hand him the phone. There was more rustling and I figured Niall was trying to grab it from her.

"Niall, kno-knock it off!"

"Hang up, please," he asked solemly.

I breathed hard.

"Harry?" Lezile's voice came through.

"Ye-yeah?"

"I gotta go. Be here at 5, okay?"

I heard Niall sigh in the background. I smiled. Just two more hours and I would be able to see that beautiful girl.

"Yeah, bye," I answered.

The line went dead. I felt guilty, even though I didn't do anything. I knew Niall wasn't too fond of mine and Lezile's 'fling.' It made him nervous, I knew that, and really it should, because one way or another, I'm going to make her realize that her and I are meant for each other.

***Lezile's POV***

"You are so rude!" I shouted at Niall. We were in the living room, setting up snacks and drinks and blankets for when the guys came over.

"I'm rude?" He joked.

"Yes, you! Why were you so rude when I was on the phone with Harry?"

"It's nothing," he replied, filling up a bowl of chips.

"Niall," I said sternly.

He wouldn't look up at me, "I don't trust him."

"Why the hell not?"

"I know what he's like."

I scoffed, "well, so do I!"

"Not when it comes to girls! Harry gets.. He gets whatever girl he wants, and if he can't, then he never stops trying."

"Well Harry had me, so it's done and over with. Stop freaking out already, Jesus Niall," I spread out a couple blankets over the three couches.

"I don't want him here."

I turned to face him. He was just standing there, extremely defensive.

"Well he's coming. He's your best friend."

"Lezile."

"Niall."

He groaned and grabbed fistfuls of his hair.

"I don't understand you," I stated plainly, "he's your best friend. For Christ sakes, you're in a band with him, and now all of a sudden you don't want him coming to your house, or talking to me. You're supposed to trust him."

"I do trust him."

I laughed, "you clearly don't."

He walked toward me, "look, I trust Harry with my life. I really do. But when it comes to things like girls; I don't. I know what he's like."

Realization hit me.

"Who did he steal from you?"

He looked taken aback.

"He stole a girl from you, didn't he."

He swallowed hard, "yeah, he did."

I became a little mad. Yes, at the fact that Harry was rude enough to steal a girl from Niall, but a little jealous because there had been a girl before me. A girl who got to hold him and be with him, just like I am now.

"Hmm," I mumbled.

"Don't be jealous, it was a long time ago," he smirked.

"I'm not jealous."

"Yes, you are. Just a little, I can see it!"

"Okay, _maybe_, but it's no different than your jealousy right now."

Yeah, that shut him up real quick.

"I didn't know you existed, and if I had, I would have definitely been with you."

He reached for my hand, but I pulled away.

"You can't be jealous of Harry. There is _nothing_ going on with us anymore. I don't want to have to worry about this being awkward with him, or me having to watch what I say around him and you so that you don't freak out."

"Calm down," Niall soothed.

"No! This... I don't know where you got the idea that Harry is trying to get me back, but he isn't! We're friends, and nothing is going on, and I need you to trust that!"

"Okay, okay," he breathed. He pulled me into a hug, "no jealousy."

I half-smiled, "thank you."

We broke apart and continued setting up. Niall went to the kitchen to grab drinks, and I looked at the kitchen door. He's lying, and I know it.

***Niall's POV***

I leaned against the kitchen counter, gripping it hard, fighting hard not to yell. I know what he's doing, Harry. He's going to make me seem angry and jealous and that I can't control myself, then he'll swoop in and comfort her. This is just like three years ago. Except Harry has underestimated me greatly, and this time I'm not backing down. He needs to stay away from Lezile. He's already got her defending him, and I bet he's smirking with pride.

A jealous boyfriend is someone he shouldn't mess with.

***Lezile's POV***

Five o'clock rolled around and the boys all piled into the house. I hugged all of them and we sat down. Niall and I took the loveseat, while Harry and Louis shared the other, and Liam and Zayn grabbed the other blankets from the couch and laid down on the floor. We shut the lights off and turned on the television, all of us in the dark, with no more lighting than the TV. We put in American Pie. We were going to watch all of them tonight, which I loved, because they are hilarious movies.

Niall had his legs up on the coffee table, and I rested my back on the armrest of the couch, resting my legs over his thighs. He held my legs and rubbed circles on them. We covered ourselves with the blanket and pressed the play button and the movie started. Please, let this be an easy hangout.

We were halfway through the first _American Pie_ movie, and we were all laughing and having fun. I was still a little nervous on the inside, but Niall and Harry seemed to be alright, even cracking a couple jokes to each other during the movie. I had a sneaking suspicion they were both faking the friendliness, but that was a thought that I was going to keep to myself.

I felt Niall's fingers brush my waist, and I turned to him, who smiled at me. I smiled back and I moved my legs from over him to overtop of his and scooted closer so that I was leaning against him. We held hands under the blanket and he rested his head against mine.

We finished watching the movie, and Harry got up and put the second one in, eyeing me as he sat back down next to Louis.

I moved the blanket and began to sit up, getting off the couch. Niall gave me a confused look.

"Washroom," I said.

He nodded.

I left the living room, and walked up the stairs, heading to the bathroom. Thank God, a few minutes of peace and quiet to myself.

***Niall's POV***

Liam looked to the stairs then sat up, Zayn followed.

"Niall, Harry, we need to talk to you guys."

I looked to Harry, and he had to same trouble expression on his face.

"It's so exciting!" Louis shouted.

"Shh!" Zayn whispered to him, "quiet, Louis."

"The bloody hell's going on?" Harry asked.

"X Factor starts up next week, and Zayn, Louis and I talked about us all going for it," Liam told us.

I felt my gut tighten. X Factor? That's huge. I don't know if I was ready for it.

"Seriously?" Harry asked excitedly.

"Yeah, I've got the form at home for us. We just need to agree. Mates, we can _really_ win this."

I looked to all the guys, seeing the excitement in all their eyes.

"Where's the audition?"

"Dublin," Zayn geered.

"Dublin? That's over an hour away."

"I'll drive us!" Louis added in.

"Do you want Lezile to come?" Liam asked, checking the stairs.

I shook my head, "I don't know."

"Well, we can go, say we're having a few days 'boy vacation,' then go to the audition, if we get through, then you can tell her. If not, then it never happened," Zayn said.

I sighed, "yeah, let's do this gents."

They all smiled excitedly and high fived each other. I heard the bathroom door open, and they all returned quickly to watching the movie. Lezile came back down and returned to her spot, leaning against me, holding my hand. I smiled at her.

I know I should tell Lezile that we're trying out, but I know she's already worried enough as it is about her leaving at the end of the semester, and if we get into the X Factor, then we'll be gone before then, and she'll be even more upset. I prayed that we would get through, because this is our dream, but part of me hoped we wouldn't, so that I wouldn't have to leave her earlier.

I pulled her closer to me, wrapping my arm around her shoulders, keeping her close to me, because now I don't know how long I have left to do this.

***Levile's POV***

I smiled as Niall pulled me into him. I felt butterflies resurface, but I don't know why. I should be used to this by now. I looked to Liam and Zayn, who were laughing at the movie, then to Harry and Louis, who were smiling at each other, then Louis punched Harry in the arm and he groaned, still laughing. I smiled at the boys, living so deeply in the moment, when we were all here together, just hanging out, young and having fun, together. I knew I would have to leave soon, and I was dreading it.

I faced Niall, who saw me move, and he looked to me too. I smiled up at him, and he gave me a sweet, questioning smile. I leaned a little and gave him an innocent kiss.

"Don't you leave me," I whispered.

His face hardened, but softened quickly, "I'm gonna stay right here, I promise."

I smiled, content, and returned to the wonderful movie night with the boys. Harry kept glancing at me every now and then, and when he did, I felt Niall hold me closer, more protectively. I knew this wasn't the end of this, but I'm hoping nothing else would come up, because this was enough to deal with.


	9. Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

***Niall's POV***

The X Factor auditions start up in two days, and me and the boys have to leave tomorrow in order to get a hotel so we can queue early. I still haven't told Lezile, and I did feel bad, really. I'd spent most of the day at school today fighting with myself on how to tell her that I'd be leaving, and _if_ I'd be telling her it was for X Factor.

"Hello handsome!"

I turned in my seat to see an empty class and Lezile swiftly walking toward me.

I smiled, "hey to you too."

"You going to stay in here all lunch?" She questioned.

I looked around again at the empty classroom and shook my head, standing up. She took my hand and began leading me to the door.

"The guys are waiting for us at Harry's locker."

"Uh," I stuttered.

She stopped and turned toward me.

"Uh?" She looked confused.

"I was hoping we could have lunch, just us two today."

"Oh, okay, that's cool," she laughed, "everything okay? You look worried?"

"I just need to talk to you."

Her face became serious and she let go of my hand.

"I'll just go tell the guys," and she looked to the ground and left.

I sighed and went to my locker, still trying to figure out what to tell her.

***Harry's POV***

Louis, Liam, Zayn and I had been waiting at my locker for Niall and Lezile for nearly ten minutes, and there was no sign, or even text from either one of them.

"Suppose they're snogging?" Louis joked.

I glared at him and he stopped laughing. Liam gave me a sad look and Zayn just kept looking for Niall and Lezile.

"There's Lezile," Liam whispered worriedly, looking behind me.

I turned and saw her, hugging her waist, making a bee-line for us.

"You alright?" I asked once she stopped.

She looked up at me and I saw that she'd been fighting tears.

"Uh, Niall and I are having lunch alone, guys," she whispered.

I looked to the guys and nodded my head to tell them to leave, and they obliged. They all put reassuring pats on Lezile's shoulder as they passed.

"What's wrong?" I whispered, holding her shoulders.

"I think Niall's going to break up with me."

My gut wrenched in the most sickly-pleasing way.

"What do you mean?"

"He's seemed distant or whatever since the weekend, when we all hungout, and he said 'I need to talk to you,' today, I mean, that's _never_ a good thing to hear. Nothing good ever comes after that line."

I sighed and rubbed her shoulders, "well, don't cry. It kills me to see you upset."

She looked me in the eyes and smiled wearily, and rubbed at her eyes. She took a deep breath.

"I don't want him to break up with me. I'll..," she shook her head and held her hands to her eyes, "I'll be crushed. I don't know what I did wrong!"

I pulled her to me, hugging her tightly. She didn't hug me back at first, but soon her arms were around my waist, hugging back with all her energy. This is how it should be.

"I'm scared to talk to him," she whispered against my chest. Passing by students gave us odd looks, most likely curious as to why Lezile was hugging me, and not her boyfriend.

"I know, but you have to."

She let go, and her eyes had cleared the red ring they were bearing.

"Oh god, here he comes," she whispered, and stepped away from me quickly, making the air cold and sharp that hit me.

"Hey," Niall said seriously, looking at me hard.

"Hi," Lezile smiled, tears threatening her beautiful eyes again.

"Did I.. interrupt something?" He asked.

"Nope," I replied dryly, glaring him hard.

"Let's go, Niall," Lezile chimed, waving to me as they left.

Niall eyed me once over his shoulder as he, and the girl that I'm supposed to be with, walked away.

How could he be so heartless? Knowing that we're leaving for X Factor tomorrow, now going to dump her like she's nothing. All I know is that I'll be there to catch her when she falls.

***Niall's POV***

We were sitting outside on a bench, away from everyone else. We need privacy, because I don't know how well this is going to go over.

"You sure you don't want any food?" I asked again. She was acting nervous.

"I'm fine," she whispered.

I rubbed her hands and turned toward her, causing her to stiffen.

"I uh, I know that we've been going great since we've been dating, and we haven't spent _any_ time apart during this," and I stopped. I had to choose my words carefully. She looked at me expectantly, and suddenly everything that I had thought of saying disappeared.

"It's okay, I get it Niall," she stated.

"You do? Well, that's great," I chimed.

She scoffed and dropped my hands, standing up and walking away.

"Whoa, where are you going?" I asked, sprinting after her. I caught her arm and stopped her, stepping in front so she couldn't get past.

"_Great_? How is this great?"

"What are you getting yourself all worked up about?"

"Are you serious!" Her voice raising.

"Did Harry tell you..?" I asked cautiously.

She looked hurt, "you told Harry about this? That _liar_!"

"Yeah, Harry knows!"

"Well since you two tell each other everything, maybe you two should date," her words filled with venom. She pushed past me.

I stood in front of her again, "what? Why would I date Harry?"

"God, can't you just end this relationship with ease?"

What the hell is going on!

"What are you talking about?"

"I get it, Niall! You don't want to be with me anymore, whatever, now move!"

I held her in place, "you think I wanna break up with you?"

"You just did!"

"What? I'm confused, I wasn't going to break up with you!" I pleaded.

"What?" Confusion evident in her voice.

"I'm _not_ breaking up with you, I want to be with you."

She stood in silence, gripping onto my arms.

"Why would you think that?" I asked.

"You said that we needed to talk, and nothing good ever comes after that sentence. I thought you were going to break up with me..," she whispered.

I pulled her close to me, "I would never do anything that stupid."

"Then what's this all about?"

I sighed, but kept hugging her.

"Uh, the boys and I were going on a trip this week. Harry, he.. needs to get away, wants us to go with him. He's been really down lately and just wants some guy time," I said. I cringed at the lie I told her.

I felt her sigh against me, "much better than being broken up with," and she hugged me tight.

No, not much better.

***Harry's POV***

I waited at my locker at the end of the day for Lezile. She came up to me sprinting, a big smile plastered on her face. Shit, no break up. I smiled forcefully back.

"Hey you," she poked my chest. She had no idea the euphoric nausea feeling her simple touch caused.

"I like you smiling better than crying," I told her, picking up my bag and swinging it over my shoulder.

"I know, me too," she giggled, "hey listen, can you give me a lift home? Niall's staying after school to talk to Mr. G about his song."

The little devil in my grinned mischievously.

"Absolutely."

I led her to the car and opened her door, causing her to smile extra wide. I started it up and turned on the radio, having Teenage Dream by Katy Perry come through the speakers. Lezile squealed and turned it up louder and began singing.

"_You think I'm pretty  
>Without any makeup on<br>You think I'm funny  
>When I tell the punchline wrong<br>I know you get me  
>So I let my walls come down, down<em>"

I laughed at her enthusiasm as she sang and the bass shook the car. She had no idea that the lyrics were exactly what I thought about her. She is funny, she's beautiful without makeup, and I know that she is always her genuine self.

"_Let's go all the way tonight  
>No regrets, just love<br>We can dance, until we die  
>You and I, will be young forever<em>"

I was smiling like a fool watching her dance around in her seat, arms moving around, her pointing at me at certain points in the song. She rolled down the window and the wind blew her hair around, making her smile and dance even more. It was crazy how just her acting like herself was enough to drive me insane.

"_My heart stops  
>When you look at me<br>Just one touch  
>Now baby I believe<br>This is real  
>So take a chance and<br>Don't ever look back!_"

I began singing along with her, laughing and smiling and definitely having the best car ride of my life. She took my right hand in hers and moved our hands in sync to the beat. We were just pulling onto her block when the song was finishing.

"_Let you put your hands on me  
>in my skin tight jeans,<br>Be your teenage dream tonight!_"

I turned off the car when the song finished and Lezile was giggling and smiling the biggest smile I think I've ever seen on her.

"Thanks Harry, I needed that."

"You needed to bust out some Katy Perry?" I laughed.

She smiled, "no. Take my mind away."

"You're thinking about a lot?"

"Yeah, just about what happened today with Niall."

"That's good you know then."

"Yeah, you boys are gonna have fun," she smiled, reaching for her bag in the backseat.

"I know," I smiled.

"Jeeze, doesn't sound like you need to get away," she giggled, "you're not down at all."

What was she talking about? "Why would I be down? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I really hope we make it," I jeered.

Her eyebrows twisted in confusion, "make what?"

"Make it through the audition," I chuckled.

Her face went flat. Oh shit, she didn't know.

"Audition?"

"Uh..,"

"Harry," she stated firmly.

"What did Niall tell you, exactly?"

"That you were upset and wanted a week with the guys to feel better. He lied to me, didn't me?"

I looked behind the car and down the road, hoping, no _praying_ to see Niall coming.

"Harry," she repeated.

"Yeah..?"

"What are you guys really doing?" She asked, her voice clearly showing that she's pissed.

"X Factor audition..," I whispered, looking outside.

"And why didn't Niall tell me?" She asked angrily.

"I don't know..," I whispered sadly.

"I can't believe this," She groaned inwardly.

"I'm sure he ha-"

"You too!" She shouted.

"What? What about me?" I asked defensively.

"I'm assuming you all came up with this idea before today, so you, _and_ Liam, Louis and Zayn, and especially Niall are all to blame!_ None_ of you told me!"

Ah shit, should have thought about that.

"Why did you guys keep me in the dark about this!"

"I don't know, we just.."

"Know what? Nevermind."

She practically kicked the door open and slammed it shut. I ripped my seatbelt off and ran after her.

"Wait!" I shouted.

"Get the hell away from me, Harry," she spat, digging for her key in her bag.

"I know I should have told you, but Niall said he didn't want you to know!"

I shouldn't have snitched on Niall, but I'm focusing on saving my ass right now.

"_You_ should have told me," she whispered.

She unlocked the door and stepped in, slamming it in my face. I'd hate to be Niall right now. I sighed deeply and went back to my car, getting in, and turning it on. I looked up at the big house that now held a really pissed off girl inside. I backed out of the driveway and headed towards home.

I turned off the radio.

***Lezile's POV***

I paced throughout the house, waiting for Niall to come home. I don't even know if I wanted to see him. I thought of ways to confront him; some ranging from punching him out _then_ talking about it, sitting down and listening to his side of the story, or tossing him off the side of the balcony. The bodily harm scenarios are what I kept landing on. I sat on my bed, facing the opposite wall, just staring. I thought we were close enough that he would tell me the truth, especially about something so major in his life. My eyes watered at the thought of him lying to me, to my face. I heard the door open and I turned my head to the side, making sure I wasn't daydreaming again.

"Lezile?" Niall shouted.

I turned back to the wall and felt a tear slide down my cheek. I was so frustrated and weak that I didn't have the energy to wipe it away. I heard his footsteps rush up the stairs then stop at my room door.

"Hey beautiful," he chimed.

I didn't move. I just stayed staring at the wall, my back to him.

His footsteps felt like an earthquake in my head as he walked toward me.

"Whoa, what happened?" He cooed, getting on his knees in front of me.

I took my eyes from the wall and met his, my stare dead and cold.

"Talk to me, please," he begged, his hands on my legs.

I felt my rage build inside me, because he figured that I knew _nothing_.

I raised my hand and slapped him hard, causing him to lose his balance and fall backward. I stood up and walked away from him and out of the room. I heard him hustle to get up and catch up to me.

"What the..! What was that for?" He yelled, grabbing my arm.

I spun around to him and slapped him again.

"Stop!" He growled.

"When were you going to tell me!" I shouted.

"Tell you what!"

"About _X Factor_!" I screamed.

I saw him swallow hard, clearly taken aback by what I knew.

"Yeah, Harry's upset, my ass. He didn't even know that he was 'upset'! Because he was all happy and gung-ho about auditioning for the X Factor." I stated.

"Lezile, please,"

"Don't. You _lied_ to me. You. Of all people!" I shouted, gritting my teeth to keep my tears in.

"I didn't tell you because it was to protect you."

I groaned, "the only thing worse than a liar, is a bad liar."

I turned to walk away but he held me firm, "please, just let me explain."

"Let me go," I stated, wiggling around in his grip.

"We need to talk!"

"Oho, _now_ you want to talk?" I replied sarcastically, "let me go. Being around you right now is disgusting me."

He looked offended by what I said but right now I don't care, I'll throw up if I'm near him for any longer. I can feel myself becoming so frustrated that I can feel angry tears threatening to come out.

He tried to pull me to his room, but I struggled. I slapped him again and he let go, causing me to fall to the ground. I got up slowly and backed away, watching Niall's facial expression change, to where he looked like he might cry as well.

I disappeared into my room and slammed the door shut, locking it. I grabbed at my hair, pulling on it hard, screaming with frustration. I pulled my phone from my pocket and went through my contacts. I couldn't believe that I was phoning him, but right now, I needed him.

The dial tone rang loudly in my ear until I heard his voice on the other line.

"I need to see you," I said, choking on my tears.

"Do you need me to come over?"

"So much.. please, I need to talk to you."

"I'm on my way."

I clicked the end button and sighed heavily. I sat on my bed and waited patiently for my Knight to come and save me.


	10. You Just Don't Understand

I waited patiently in my room until I heard a knock at the balcony door. I turned and saw him and smiled, opening the door.

"Got here as fast as I could," he breathed.

I smirked and pulled him into a tight hug. He wrapped his arms tight around my waist. I held in my frustrated tears and just focused on the boy in front of me.

"Liam," I started, "thank you so much for coming."

"Anything for you," he whispered in my hair.

I broke away and grabbed his hand, leading him to the bed. We sat down and everything seemed to still. The world was silent.

"Amanda broke up with me," he whispered.

"What?" I asked.

"Yeah, I told her about X Factor, and she said that she couldn't compete with our music career.. so she ended it."

I rubbed his hands soothingly, "Liam, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, I guess I understand where she's coming from. It just sucks."

"Yeah."

We sat in silence for a few more minutes until I spoke again, "you know I'm still mad at you for not telling me."

He sighed, "I know, but Niall-"

"Yeah, yeah, Niall didn't want me to know. Harry already said that."

"Yeah, because he was trying to protect you."

I laughed sarcastically, "what does he need to protect me from?"

"He knows that you're going to have to leave soon, and he didn't want to worry you about X Factor, in case we actually get through."

"I don't understand?"

"If we get through this audition and the judge's house, we leave."

I felt my palms become sweaty with nerves, "leave?"

"Competition's in London. We'd be living there..,"

I breathed heavily at what Liam just told me. I let go of his hand and stood from the bed.

"Lezile..," he whispered. I felt him touch my hand but I pulled away.

My gut retched and I felt like I may throw up. _Live_ in London? I couldn't imagine living without Niall, I've gotten so used to it, to him. I'd miss all of the boys like crazy, but I don't know if I could handle the stress of missing Niall.

"How long?"

"Seven months."

I breathed out the long breath I was holding. I knew they'd be leaving. They were too talented for them to all say no. I turned and faced Liam, who's look of sadness almost made me burst into tears.

"Is it selfish of me to hope you guys don't make it?" I joked, wiping away the stray tears that had fallen.

He chuckled with me, "no, I'd wish the same if I were you."

"I messed up, Liam, so bad. I didn't let him explain," I cried out, "I slapped him. Oh god, he probably hates me."

I began choking on my tears, making it hard for me to breathe.

"Hey, hey, hey," he breathed, coming up and hugging me, "Niall doesn't hate you, I don't think he ever could."

He took my face in his hands, "do you hear me?"

I nodded and tried to straighten my ragged breathing. He dropped his hands to my waist and pulled me to him, hugging me tightly.

"I don't know how to apologize to him," I whispered against his chest.

"Tell him how you're feeling, everything on your mind."

I felt him move, and I titled my head and Liam was looking directly in my eyes.

"He wouldn't let an amazing girl like you get away."

He leaned down and kissed my cheek, lingering a few seconds before hugging me again. I have no idea how I'm going to apologize to Niall, especially after what I did. If I were him, I wouldn't forgive me.

A soft knock came from the door. My head whipped around, and my stomach twisted with nerves. Liam let go and quietly went for the balcony door. I kissed Liam quickly on the cheek, and he smiled before I closed the door and he disappeared.

I gulped loudly and walked to the door, my hand lingering on the doorknob before I took a final big breath and opened the door.

No one was there.

I waited a few more seconds and I heard no sound, and no one came out from the shadows.

"Niall?" I whispered.

A few seconds past and Niall slowly appeared in my door frame. I swallowed hard, my mouth dry as the Sahara. We just stood there, neither of us saying a word. His blue eyes glistened, showing that he'd been crying too.

"I-I..," I could feel myself choking up with tears again. I'd been so selfish in treating Niall horribly, just because I wanted him to stay with me. He deserves this, and I should let him go after his dream.

He inched toward me and slowly pulled me to him, burying his face in my neck. I hugged him back with all of my energy and shook from holding in my tears.

"I'm so sorry," I cried, gripping him tighter, "for hitting you, I'm so sorry..!"

"Shhhh," he cooed, sniffing back his own tears.

I didn't deserve him. He'd be better off without carrying me as baggage when going to X Factor. Just how I know Liam will be better without Amanda..

***Liam's POV***

Lezile shut the door of the balcony and turned away, heading for the door. I leaned against the brick wall, out of view from the door. I was incredibly happy when she phoned me to come see her, of all people. I figured she would have phoned Harry. I admit that I'm hurt that I'm newly single, but it's nice to know that Lezile needs me, just like how Amanda used to need me. Niall is really lucky to have her stand by him, especially going into this.

I peered into the room and saw her and Niall hugging, and I could tell they were both crying. I smiled, but a knot formed in my stomach. The wind was picking up so I climbed down from the balcony and went to my car. As I drove home, I thought about Lezile, hoping that she was okay now. I turned the air on in my car on low; my skin burned from her touch.

Niall's girlfriend can't be my rebound.

***Lezile's POV***

This felt completely new to me, despite me having done this numerous times before; kissing Niall. It wasn't forceful, it wasn't feverish or filled with lust and desire. It was innocent. It was slow, and yeah, it was sweet, but I felt like crying all the same. I should end it, he doesn't deserve a girl who's hit him over him chasing his dream. He doesn't need to think about me while trying to make it in music, it's gotta be stressful enough. I pulled from the kiss and rubbed his cheek, taking in his appearance.

"I'm sorry I lied," he whispered.

I shook my head, "it's okay."

"No, it's not," he took my hand and laced our fingers together, "I should've told you.. and I'm really sorry I didn't."

"Really Niall, it's fine," I countered, "look, I know that you guys will get through and that you'll..," I swallowed hard, "leave and be living in London. So it's probably best if you and I aren't.. _you and I_."

"What? That's crazy! I don't want us breaking up over this! This is what I was afraid would happen if I told you."

"Well I mean you're going to meet so many girls and how knows what could happen."

"I would never cheat on you, you're the only one I want. I can't do this without you."

"Are you sure?" My skepticism leaking through. I wanted to be with him, but I don't want 'us' affecting his music.

"Definitely," and then he hugged me. A hug more of reassurance that everything would be okay. At least, that we _hoped _it would be okay.

"Tomorrow night, I want it to be you and I. The whole day and night before we leave."

I nodded against his shoulder, "okay."

"Niall! Lezile, we're home!" Mum shouted from downstairs. We broke apart from our hug. Time to put on our sibling charade.

Niall kissed me quickly before leaving my room. I followed after a few seconds. Niall was already downstairs, and as I made my way down the stairs, Jonathon peaked from behind Dad and gave me a tight hug.

"What's this for?" I giggled.

"We never hugged, figured it's 'bout time," he joked with a wink.

Smooth, just like his older brother.

Dad, Jonathon, Niall and I all relaxed in the living room while Mum made dinner. Dad and Jonathon were shouting at the tv over a football game, while Niall and I were sitting on the loveseat. I could feel Niall's fingers brushing my hand, his eyes still focused on the tv. I moved my fingers to touch his, and my heart sank at the thought of us being away from each other for months, but this is what he wants, and I have to let him do this.

A half hour passed and Mum called us to eat dinner; pasta. There was some conversation, but nothing that sparked a massive debate. Niall and I kept looking at each other occasionally, but not for long because as far as the rest of the Family was concerned, we only thought of each other as brother and sister. Dinner finished and we all cleaned up, and Mum, Dad and Jonathon went to watch tv in the living room. I walked upstairs to my room, leaving the door open a crack so Niall would come in. He did.

He closed it and came and laid down with me. We didn't kiss, we didn't talk. We just laid there, facing each other.

"You know I don't want to leave you, right?" He whispered.

"Yeah."

"I know it'll be hard, but we ca-"

"I don't wanna talk," I whispered.

He nodded sadly and pulled me to him, holding tight. The only sounds that could be heard were from our happy Family downstairs.


	11. Don't Say GoodBye

I woke up at 10, not heading to school though, because tonight the boys were leaving, and despite my sadness, this was going to be the best day ever for them, and for my sake. I wore a blue and white stripped shirt, tan skinny jeans and white sneakers. I practically ran to Niall's room, knocking before bursting through the door. He was still in bed, buried under a mountain of blankets and pillows. I slid under the covers and ran my hand over his back, making him stir. He groaned and buried his head under his pillow.

"Come on out, cutie," I cooed, running my fingers through his hair.

"Mmm, noooooo," he moaned.

"I'll make you breakfast," I bargained.

"You don't cook."

I groaned, "alright, if that's how you wanna play it."

I got out of bed and ripped the covers off him, his body curling into a ball. He cursed me under his breath and hugged a pillow for warmth. I jumped back on the bed, giggling in Niall's face. I began pushing his body teasingly.

"Knock it off," he groaned.

I giggled again and kept pushing him.

He chuckled darkly, "all righ', that's it.."

He lifted his head from his pillow and pushed me on my back, jumping on me. I groaned playfully.

"Ugh, jeeze thanks, fatty," I smirked.

He feigned hurt, but grinned, "you've got your wish, I'm up."

"Come on, get dressed."

"Wait," he leaned down to my lips, "give me a good-morning kiss."

"Mmm, brush your teeth first," I smiled.

He scoffed but smiled. He went to the bathroom to freshen up while I waited. He came back and bee-lined to me, putting his hands on either side of me on the bed. He smiled, showing me his full mouth of teeth.

"All cleeeean," he sang.

I giggled and puckered my lips teasingly, to which Niall happily connected to. It was calm and sweet and all the same, bittersweet. I was determined not to think about X-Factor, because I knew I'd cry.

"Do you wanna meet the boys for lunch?" He asked, breaking the kiss.

I smiled and nodded ,"yeah, let's do it."

Niall phoned Liam and told him that we'd meet them at the pub. I zoned out, thinking about them leaving tonight. I'd be gone in a little more than a month, back to Canada, once I graduate, and now I'd have to spend these next weeks alone, here, at school. I thought of Zayn and Louis, those crazy boys that I adore like brothers, and I'd miss their insanity and jokes. Liam, that sweet boy, I love him to pieces, he's there when I need someone to talk to, and I'd literally do anything for him, especially now, with Amanda gone. And Harry.. beautiful Harry. I'd miss him the most, besides Niall. In the time I've known him, we've gone through quite a lot, but I know that we're better at being friends. It makes more sense this way, I guess. I'd treated him horribly, so I'm hoping he'll let me apologize today at lunch.

And Niall, the most wonderful, beautiful boy I've ever met. So caring and sweet, and I'd do anything for him, to make him happy and see him smile. It's hard to imagine him not being here. He'd become a part of me, somehow getting under my skin and staying there. I get butterflies when I hear his voice, and nearly collapse with happiness whenever I see him smile. He just makes me weak, in the greatest way possible. Sometimes I just catch myself admiring him, and feeling so overwhelmed with luck that I've gotten to be with him.

"Are you okay?" He laughed, waving a hand in my face. I blinked and looked up at him, an amused look on his face.

"Yeah, just thinking."

His smile faltered, "about?"

"School. The boys. You."

I didn't even need to go into further explanation of my thoughts, because he knew what I meant.

"Come on," he reached for my hand, to which I happily gave him, and we headed out to the restaurant. The boys were already there by the time we got there, and had ordered potato skins for starters. Niall and I sat down on the barstools, rounded by the guys. Liam was next to me, then it went Harry, Louis, Zayn and then Niall. We made absent-minded chatter, no one daring to say anything about the audition, until Louis spoke up.

"When we leaving tonight, gents?" he asked casually. The boys all shot him a death glare.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"Come on, Louis," Niall said.

"It's okay, Niall."

"No, it isn't," he replied dryly.

I looked down at the table, biting my lip as to keep my emotions inside. I felt warmth against my hand, and saw that Liam had taken it, holding it tight. I looked up at him and smiled shortly, and he returned it.

"We just ordered burgers and chips for everyone," Zayn piped up. I giggled at his interference. You gotta hand it to him, he's trying. I looked to Harry, who just twirled his straw around his cup.

"Table 26! Burgers and chips!"

"That's us!" Louis yelled.

"Let's go get it," Liam jeered, letting go of my hand.

He, Louis, Zayn and Niall all stood up. Niall kissed my cheek sweetly before smiling and walking off to help the boys. Harry just kept playing around with his straw.

"I'm sorry," I practically whispered. His eyes locked mine. I felt my whole body become overwhelmed with heat.

"Can we talk, outside?" He asked. I looked to the boys and then back to him, I nodded.

We both stood from the table and I followed him outside, giving Niall a side smile as he watched us walk out. I stood against the wall as Harry looked out across the street.

"I don't wanna go," he said finally.

"Excuse me?"

He turned and faced me, "X-Factor. I don't know if I want to go."

"You have to, it's your dream," I countered.

"Yeah. I want to go, but at the same time, I don't. I don't want to leave.. my Friends, my Family. You."

I looked away from his eyes, Goosebumps rising on my skin.

"I'll be fine," I joked.

"You'll be alone."

"Lonely, but not alone. We'll text, Harry. All the time," I half-smiled.

He took a few steps forward, "you know about Liam and Amanda?"

"Yeah, he told me."

"It sucks," he breathed, "to not have someone to share all of this with. To have someone special be there for you, cheering you on. To love you."

I had a sneaking suspicion that we weren't talking about Liam anymore.

"He's got you guys."

"It's not the same."

"He's got me," I replied, "you all do."

"No, Niall does," he countered hoarsely.

"You all do, I'm here for all of you," I told him, reaching for his hand.

"But Niall _has_ you.."

"Harry," I whispered, rubbing his arm soothingly, "it doesn't matter, I'm going to be here for you."

His eyes became misty with water, and I swear my heart is breaking into a million pieces. He reached for my waist, pulling me close, and burying his head into my neck. I reached around his neck and held him close, and I could feel his tears on my bare skin, making me weak with emotion. I rubbed the back of his neck to try and calm him, but I think if anything, I was only making him feel worse.

"I'm going to miss you so much," he whispered, voice hoarse, against my neck.

"I know, I'll miss you too," I replied, keeping my own tears in. I didn't think that seeing Harry cry would affect me so much.

He lifted his head only a little, so that I could see into his eyes. I wiped his tears away and I saw him look to my lips then back to my eyes.

"Don't cry," I pleaded, rubbing his cheek softly, "okay?"

Once the words were out of my mouth, Harry's lips were on mine. I could feel his passion as he pulled me closer to him, but I pushed him away. He was breathing heavy with shock.

"I, uh..," he stuttered. I stood there only for a moment, in sheer astonishment at what had just happened, my mind cloudy with thoughts. I turned and basically ran back inside and to the table. I saw that Niall was already done his food and I went behind him and wrapped my arms around him and whispered, "come with me for a second," in his ear. He turned his head toward me and smiled. The other boys gave us weird glances. Niall stood and I grabbed his hand, leading him to the hallway, knocking on the door to the Family washroom. When no one answered, I opened the door, letting us both in then locked it.

"What are you doing?" He asked cheekily.

I just hugged him. The tightest I've ever hugged anyone in my whole life. He hugged back, nuzzling his head in my neck. _Just like Harry did_. I turned my head just a little towards him, and he copied me, and just like that, we were locked in the most intimate, passion-filled kiss. Granted, it was in a washroom, but it didn't change the emotion running through us. We broke the kiss, and just kept holding each other.

"You're killing me," he whispered.

"I swear I'm not trying to," I joked.

He smiled, "Do you wanna go? Just us two?"

I nodded, "I want you all to myself."

He unlocked the door and led us both out and back to the boys, where Louis winked at us both and Zayn and him laughed, while Liam and Harry pretended not to notice us. Niall put some money on the table and told them we were leaving.

"Score, Niall!" Louis shouted.

"Shut up!" We both joked to him.

He took my hand and we left, walking around downtown. We told jokes and played around with each other.

"Let's go in here!" Niall jeered, pulling me gently into a small shop, full of different clothing, shoes and jewelry. I giggled at his excitement. Niall went toward the jewelry and I went for the shoes. I had a thing for shoes. And by "thing" I obviously mean addiction. I tried on a few pairs, but I put them all back, sadly. I walked around and looked at the clothes, loving the style in Ireland. I wanted to buy most of the things in the store, but I didn't really need them. Damn. I was looking through some t-shirts when Niall put his hands on my shoulders.

"Find anything?" He asked.

"Tons. Too bad I'm poor," I joked.

He laughed, but took my hand and we left the store. He swung our hands back and forth playfully as we walked through town and into the outside country area. We walked along a brick fence that held in beautiful green scenery.

"I'm really happy," he said randomly.

I stopped and turned to him and smiled, "me too."

He smiled his beautiful smile in return and reached and pulled me toward him by my neck, giving me a sweet kiss. He pulled me into him, our bodies connecting in a gentle hug.

"You have to leave soon," I stated.

"I know," he breathed, "I'm gonna go crazy missing you."

I smiled, "I may have you beat there."

He pulled back and reached into his pocket, revealing a very small black pouch. I looked at him with confusion, but he just smirked. He opened it up and told me to turn around, which I did.

"Close your eyes."

I closed them and I felt a cool material touch me.

"Open them," he whispered.

I looked down and saw a four leaf clover dangling from a silver chain, wrapped around my neck. I twirled it around my fingers and tears threatened my eyes. He rubbed my shoulders gently, "are you alright?"

I nodded slowly, and he kissed my cheek.

"So you won't forget me if we make it through. I want everyone to see that and know you're mine."

"I wouldn't be anyone else's."

I thought back to Harry kissing me outside the pub and my stomach twisted with nerves. His eyes went to the ground and he sighed, but looked up at me with happiness.

"Good, because I'd have to hurt any guy that comes after you."

My stomach twisted more at the thought of the kiss earlier. The kiss that would ruin everything for Niall if he found out.

"Just you and me," I told him.

He looked at his watch and his smile dropped, "we should head back."

I grinned sadly, "yeah."

He took my hand and laced our fingers together, and we began walking back home. I gripped his arm with my free hand, not wanting to be far from him for not even a minute. The walk home took a little over a half an hour, but once we made it home, we had to separate, to keep up appearances with Mum and Dad. He opened the door and Mum basically drowned Niall in a hug.

"Oh, baby boy! We're so proud of you!"

He'd clearly told her about X-Factor.

He groaned playfully, "thanks Mum!"

"When are the boys picking you up?"

"In a couple hours."

At the sound of his words, my heart dropped about 10,000 feet. Niall looked back at me and I smiled my best fake smile. Mum let go of Niall and stepped excitedly toward me.

"Oh, honey, that necklace is beautiful! Where did you get it?"

Before I could answer, Niall jumped right in, "I bought it for her, Mum."

She looked back at the sound of his words, but smiled in return at me. She pinched his cheek playfully and poked me in my side.

"That's very beautiful of you, Niall."

He smiled in response to her.

"Time to pack," he stated, ushering me toward the stairs by pushing on my back.

We went in his room and he proceeded to pack a duffle full of clothes as I sat on the bed. I watched his every move, as he placed piles of clothes in the bag. I played with the necklace Niall gave me as he worked like a busy bee. I thought about the loneliness I was going to have to suffer through at home, and at school. Without any of the boys to rescue me from myself. Niall smiled sweetly at me as he finished packing and zipped up his bag. He tossed it on the floor and came and sat in front of me.

"Almost time to leave," I told him.

"Yeah," he grabbed my hands, "I'm going to miss you. I'm going to call you every night."

"I'll be waiting for those calls," I smiled.

He leaned in and we kissed. I held him close to me, letting my emotions pour into the kiss. He held my waist and his hands slipped under the hem of my shirt. I mimicked his actions as he begged for entrance in our kiss, to which I happily obliged. Our lust turned to passion as we collapsed on the bed. He groaned into the kiss as I rubbed my hands over his chest.

"Wait, wait," he whispered, breaking the kiss.

"Yeah?" I breathed, actually thanking God we stopped.

"I need to tell you something."

My heart raced about a million times faster as Niall looked straight into my eyes. Oh sweet jesus, was this it? Was he going to tell me he loves me? I don't know, he could honestly tell me some random fact about farming for all I know. My brain raced, coming up with millions of answers to any statement that he could possibly say.

"Okay," I answered.

"I.."

I gulped hard, searching his eyes for any hint to prepare myself for whatever he was going to say.

"Stay with me."

And just like that, my heart sank. I had built up in my mind that Niall was going to tell me such explosive words that it would set off bombs inside of me.

"You're leaving me," I countered.

He hung his head for a second but re-connected his eyes to mine.

"I want to stay, but I have to do this."

I shook my head, "I know, I know. I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"Niall! Liam and the boys are here!" Mum shouted.

Our eyes stayed connected, but I felt my eyes tear up. We stood up and he picked up his bag. He opened the door and waited for me to join him.

"I uh, I think I'm gonna stay up here."

He looked hurt, and tried to come toward me, but I backed away.

"I don't think I can see you leave. I just, I can't."

"Sweetheart..," he cooed.

"Go, it's okay. I'll um.. I'll be here if you guys come back."

The way I phrased my words even caught me off guard. He put his hand on my waist and kissed me gently.

"I'll be back soon," he whispered, and then, he was gone. I stood at his door frame, hearing him say good-bye to Mum, Dad and Jonathon, and then the door closed and the house was silent.

"What the hell am I doing?" I said dryly to myself.

I bolted out of the room and down the stairs, pushing past Mum and Dad, and opened the door. Liam and Harry were just closing the trunk, and Niall was in the backseat.

"Niall!" I shouted, sprinting to the end of the driveway. He turned his head and opened the door as quickly as he could. I flung my arms around him, and held him as tight as I could, my tears spilling over my eyelids. I wiped them away, because the last thing I want him to see from me, is my blood-shot eyes.

"Thought you didn't want to see me leave?"

"I couldn't. I care too much to have a crappy good-bye."

Zayn and Louis got out of the car and were standing behind Niall, smiling at us. I returned the gesture.

"Group hug!" Louis shouted, crashing into Niall and I. Zayn and Liam joined in. Harry was hesitant, but he eventually hugged us too.

I let go of Niall and individually hugged the guys. Louis spun me around during our hug, which made me laugh. I was going to miss his childish humor. Zayn hugged me like a loving brother would. Simple, but meaningful. Liam hugged me so tight that I thought my circulation was going to be cut off, but he kissed my cheek, keeping the contact for a few seconds. When we pulled away, Harry was on the opposite side of the car, opening the door.

"Harry," I stated shyly. He looked up, but quickly looked away, bouncing awkwardly on his heels. I could tell all the other boys were watching this weird display. I walked over and grabbed Harry by the back of his neck, hugging him tight. He hesitantly held my waist, but melted soon into the hug. I patted his back twice and we let go. The boys all said their good-bye's and piled into the car, leaving Niall and I alone.

I felt my eyes water again and I swore under my breath, making him laugh.

"It's okay, Lezile."

"I don't want me crying to be how this good-bye goes," I wiped at my eyes.

He held the four leaf clover necklace in his hand and give it a kiss.

"Come here," he cooed.

We hugged tight and I felt his body tighten around me. That's when I realized, it wasn't just me who was upset about him leaving. All this time he'd been saying it, but I'd been the one who'd been obvious about it, with all my tears. The sun was setting and it cast a delicate glow over the scene playing out between us.

"Niall.. we gotta go," Liam said quietly.

He nodded to him and looked back to me. We kissed, and for that one moment, everything seemed okay. Once we broke apart though, everything was back to a blur. A blur of loneliness to come. We let go of one another, and he opened the car door, sliding in next to Harry. He looked behind me, waving to Mum, Dad and Jonathon, who were now aware of our little sibling relationship. His eyes met mine and he didn't even try to fake a smile, and neither did I. Liam started the car and pulled away from the curb, taking away the five boys who meant everything to me, and the one who I adored with everything I had. Niall looked out the back window until the car rounded a corner and vanished out of sight.

I stood there for a few minutes, not knowing what to do now. I know we'd text, and he'd call, but I couldn't help but feel empty. Broken, almost. I made my way back to the house, quietly pushing past the Family at the door, and walked up the stairs to my room. I closed the door and locked it. I shut off the lights, and crawled under the covers, clenching the four leaf clover in my hand.

That night, I cried myself to sleep.

**Okay! So the boys are gone, for now anyways. I hope you guys are liking this story! Cause I'm having fun writing it :) And honestly, if you have ANY suggestions on what you think I should add in, feel free to leave a review telling me, or inbox, so its a surprise ;) I have SO many ideas for the next chapters, so don't worry, if you want to keep reading, you'll get to.**

**Leave a review?**

**Thanks guys! Xx :)**


	12. Hello, GoodBye

I sat alone in all my classes, unable to focus on anything that the teachers were saying to me, because I was too busy worrying about the boys' audition today. I had no idea whether they had made it through or if they were on their way home in tears. It made my gut wrench together. The bell rang and I slowly got up and grabbed my books. Walking through the hallway by myself made me feel so lost. I had no one to meet up with at lunch. No group time with the boys, no hand holding with Niall, no charming smiles to share. The boys were my only friends, and I was fine with that, until now. I stacked my books in my locker and grabbed some money and my phone before locking it and heading toward the door outside. I walked across the street to a vendor selling chips and got myself just a small order. I checked my phone while I waited, not having done so earlier this morning. There was a few missed texts.

Niall Horan:  
><em>We're queued outside at 4am, going in very soon.. I'm so tired and nervous, I just want you here with me xx.<em>

I smiled sadly at his text and looked at the time, it was noon now. They definitely should know by now if they got through..

Louis Tomlinson:  
><em>HARRY BIT ME!<em>

I laughed aloud at that one, gaining a couple odd looks from the girls ordering. I didn't care, I could just imagine Louis' screaming that outloud. The last text was from Liam.

Liam Payne:  
><em>We want you here! :) We'll let you know what happens, promise. And Niall says Hi, again. And that he misses you. And that he wants you here, again. Text him, please! Hahaha, xxx.<em>

I smiled at the text messages. I miss those boys so much. I texted Niall back,

_I wish I could be there cheering you boys on, but I know you got through! I miss you, come home._

Then I shot a quick text back to Liam,

_I want you boys home! I miss you like crazy. Please phone me as soon as you can and let me know._

Then to Louis,

_Tell Harry his gay is showing and to stop biting you ;)_

I smiled at the messages and put my phone back in my pocket. I got my food and walked back to school and sat at a picnic table. I didn't really feel like eating, but I did anyways. I looked at all the students laughing and playing football and goofing around with their friends, and it made me miss mine even more. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I practically jumped up in excitement. I reached in and saw the caller I.D and a picture pop up, _Liam Payne_. I smiled and slide the green bar.

"Liam!" I practically squealed.

He laughed, "Lezile!"

"How was it? Are you home? Did you get through?"

"Slow down there," he laughed, "it was good."

"And...?"

"And...?" He mocked.

"Are you through? Where are you boys!"

The line was silent. I checked my phone but the call was still active. I placed the phone back to my ear, "Liam?"

Still silent.

"Liam? What the hell is hap-"

I felt a pinch against my side, and I jumped, having a mini heart-attack. I turned and almost dropped my phone in excitement.

"LIAM!" I shouted, and he smiled wide, putting his phone away.

I set mine down, climbed on the picnic table and jumped on him, embracing him in the biggest hug ever. He held tight and spun me around, laughing as he did so.

"You're home!" I shouted excitedly, causing people around us to stare.

"I'm home!" He shouted back. He set me down and we just smiled at each other.

"Where are the other boys?" I asked excitedly, like I was a kid at Christmas time.

He smiled and turned his head, looking to the parking lot. The boys were all getting out of the car. I smiled and let go of Liam and began running for the car. Louis spotted me and came running to me.

"Lezile!" He shouted.

"Louis!" I screamed, dragging out his name. I jumped into him, crushing his body to mine in a giant hug.

"I missed you!" He screamed.

"I missed you more!"

I looked up and saw Zayn and Harry jogging toward us.

"Zayn! Harry!" I squealed.

They joined the group hug, and I felt Liam hug me from behind. We hugged for a few seconds until I looked behind the boys and saw Niall leaning against the car, smiling at us. I broke from the hug and jogged over to him, his smile growing bigger as he pushed himself from the car. He reached out a hand, grabbing my waist, and my hands went instinctively to his neck, pulling him to me and into the best reuniting kiss. The kiss was sweet but filled with passion. We weren't even apart that long, but it was way too long to be apart from him in my books.

I heard clapping coming from behind us, then Louis shouted, "now _THAT'S_ what I'm talking about!"

We broke from our kiss and laughed at Louis' subtlety. Niall picked me up and spun me around. Once he put me down, I grabbed a fistful of his shirt.

"Did you make it through?"

He looked behind me to the boys, who encircled us, then back to me.

"Lezile..," he whispered.

"yeah?"

His smile grew wide, "WE'RE THROUGH!"

I squealed in excitement and all of us embraced in a giant group hug. My emotions were everywhere upon hearing the news. The boys, _my_ boys, had gotten through the first audition of X Factor! As much as I was proud of them, I was sad, because if they got through the judge's house, they were gone...

"We're going out tonight to celebrate!" Louis shouted, all of us separating from the hug.

"When do you boys leave for the Judge's house?" I asked.

They all looked around at one another, when Niall looked straight at me, "tomorrow, love."

"Oh," I mumbled, looking down. I felt Liam's hand on my back, but I didn't move.

Niall spoke up, "you boys go out and have fun tonight, I just want to be with my girl."

I looked up and smiled lightly at him and he returned the gesture.

"Uh, sure, that's fine," Liam replied.

"Yeah," Harry whispered. I looked back at him and he avoided my eyes.

Niall grabbed my hand and pulled me from the group. Despite Liam saying he would drive us home, Niall said it was fine. We went back to the picnic table and got my phone, then went to my locker to grab my stuff. I could skip for one day. I swung my bag over my shoulders and we left the school, hand in hand. As we were leaving, the boys were talking to their friends, but I saw one thing that made me worried. Liam, talking to Amanda, his ex-girlfriend. They were sitting on a picnic table, Liam facing straight ahead, looking sad, while Amanda looked like she was pleading with him. I swallowed hard and looked away. This is not what Liam needs right now. If she hurts him even more, I don't think he'll be able to bounce back on his own. I tried to shake the thoughts of Liam out of my head, but he wasn't leaving that easily. Niall told me all about their night and their audition. They sang Grenade by Bruno Mars, and they got all three yes' to go through. He was smiling wide while telling me the story. He looked so beautiful and happy.

"It's just amazing that we got through, Louis and Harry even started crying," he smiled.

I giggled and stopped him, "I'm so proud of you."

We smiled at each other before I kissed him.

"I know you'll make it through the judge's house."

We continued walking, "I hope so. This feels like it could be it. The real thing, you know? It's what we've all always wanted."

"What are you going to sing at the house?"

"Torn by Natalie Imbruglia."

"Beautiful song, I love it!"

He smiled and we finally made it back home.

"I'm home!" Niall shouted.

There was scrambling coming from upstairs.

"Hi honey!" Mum screeched, running down the stairs, engulfing Niall in a giant hug.

"We made it through, Mum!"

She squealed excitedly and hugged him harder.

"I'm so proud! Dad and Jon are going to be over the moon when they hear this! Do you want to celebrate tonight?"

Niall looked at me then back to Mum, "oh, I'd love to Mum, but I was going to take Lezile out tonight, just us two to celebrate.. If that's alrigh'."

Mum looked between me and Niall, "oh, I forgot that you two are.. uh, you know, you're-"

"Dating?" Niall finished.

"Yeah, right, that. Uh, let's sit down a second, yeah?"

We sat down on the loveseat while Mum sat on the coffee-table, facing us.

"So you two have been dating.."

I had never been so embarrassed in my life.

"Yeah, we are," Niall said proudly.

"Have you, uh, you know?"

I looked to the wall and breathed out awkwardly. Oh God.

"Mum!" Niall shouted, embarrassed.

"Well, I'm just checking! Things can go wrong, you know, and I'd just like to know if you did or if you're thinking about it. Don't be embarrassed, Niall."

"Well I am!"

"Well I had no idea you were dating your 'sister,' so forgive me."

"Mum, just leave it alone, please. We haven't done anything yet, so don't worry."

"Yet?" She asked curiously. Great, good choice in words, Niall.

"You know what I meant," he whispered.

"I just want you two to be careful, that's all. I'm not trying to be nosy in your business. Unless you want to tell me..,"

I saw Niall glare at his Mum.

"Or not, whichever."

Niall took my hand and intertwined our fingers, Mum staring at us.

"I do think it's sweet that you two are together, but some things just _happen_ sometimes."

"We'd be careful, Mum, don't worry," he told her, "but tonight's our night together, so we're gonna go."

He stood up, pulling me with him, leaving Mum in the living room to think about what events would happen on our "night together."

We went into his room and he tossed his bag on the bed. He grabbed my other hand and pulled me to him. I missed him. The way his hands fit in mine, his smell, his beautiful smile, amazing eyes. I was planning to relish this night with him for as long as I could.

"You're beautiful," he whispered in my ear.

I smiled.

"Go get ready, love, it's you and I tonight," he said happily.

"What should I wear?"

"Hmm, dress-up, but be comfy."

I giggled, "okay, give me 20?"

"Perfect," he smiled.

We kissed before I went to my room and got ready. I wore black fitting Chinos, a white tank top and a white half-lace top. I straightened my hair and put on a little cover-up and mascara. I wore black flats and grabbed my over the shoulder purse before going to Niall's room. I knocked a few times before slowly turning the door knob.

"You can come in," he said.

I pushed the door open and saw him, all gorgeous. He was wearing burgundy pants with his white Supras, and a white t-shirt with a grey Cardigan sweater. He was perfection in my eyes.

"Wow," I whispered.

He smirked, "I should be saying that to you."

I did a little twirl, "really?"

He stepped toward me, "really," he whispered.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him to me, leaning in to kiss him, but he stopped me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing, it's just.. this is our first real date, and I want to play this out right."

"Play it out right?" I giggled.

He smiled and nodded, "Yes, ma'lady. You ready to go?"

I nodded and he took my hand and we left his room. As we left the house and got in the car, I saw Mum look out the window at us. I tried to avoid her gaze, while I don't think Niall noticed. We drove into town and pulled into a restaurant parking lot. Before I opened the door, Niall put his hand on mine.

"Wait," he said.

He hopped out of the car and jogged over to my side. I smiled like an idiot. He opened the door and gave me his hand to take, which I happily took. We went into the restaurant, which was really nice, but casual too. The booths and tables were dark wood, and the room was dimly lit. A young waitress came up to us.

"Hi! Just two tonight?"

"Yeah," Niall told her.

"Great! Follow me," she smiled. She led us to the back, which was empty, and we sat down at a table for two. She handed us menus.

"Can I get you anything to drink?"

"I'll have an Iced Tea, thanks," I said.

"Same for me," Niall replied.

"Excellent," and with that, she walked away.

I looked up and down the menu, trying to decide what to eat. I was starving, that was no question, but what the frig was I craving to eat?

"I wish we would have done this sooner."

I looked up from my menu and saw Niall looking straight at me.

"Going to eat? You that hungry?" I laughed.

He chuckled, "no, a date."

I smiled, "yeah, we should have. Better late than never though."

He nodded in agreement.

The waitress came back to our table. Ah crap, what do I want to eat!

"Can I take your order?"

"Yeah, I'll have the chicken and pasta, thanks."

She looked to me, "I'll have the same."

We gave her our menus and she left. Niall just smirked at me.

"What?"

"'I'll have the same.' Copycat."

"I couldn't decide, okay!"

He took my hand across the table and rubbed circles on my palm. We just talked about everything. X-Factor, School, our date, and even Prom.

"When you guys make it through and move to London, I don't care, you're going to make it back for Prom, yeah?" I asked.

"I'll definitely be here. X-Factor would come second to Prom with you."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

I smiled, "good. And you'd have to bring the boys back with you. They can't miss it."

"Oh-ho, so you want five dates, is that it?"

"Well, a girl can never have too many options."

He scoffed playfully, "my poor heart, it's breaking!"

"I'll kiss it better later," I giggled.

"I hope so!"

I saw our waitress walk over with our plates, and my stomach growled. It felt like it was going to start eating itself if I didn't get food in there, pronto.

We ate and talked for what felt like forever, but if I only had to do this with Niall for forever, I really wouldn't mind. I heard my phone buzz in my purse that hung on the back of my chair. I kept eating, trying not to pay attention.

"Aren't ya gonna get that?" Niall asked.

I shook my head, "I'm on a date with my handsome boyfriend, it can wait," I smiled.

He smiled back, obviously pleased with my answer.

The waitress came back to fill our cups back up.

"Can we get a piece of chocolate cheesecake for after, please?" Niall asked her.

"Yes, of course," and she left again.

"Hungry, are we?" I joked.

"Hey, I've got to treat my beautiful girlfriend."

"We don't need to get fat off cheesecake.."

"We most certainly do! More cushion for the pushin'," he winked.

I giggled, "oh God.."

We continued eating and once we finished, our waitress came and took our plates, and came back with Niall's precious cheesecake. It was only one piece, so we shared. He scooted his chair so that he was sitting next to me. I cut a small fork-full of cake and playfully fed it to Niall. He smiled and took the fork from me and tried to feed me a piece, which I dodged.

"Come on! Let me feed you," he whined.

I laughed, "this is so lame," but I let him feed me anyways.

"You're so lame," he retorted.

"You're so cute," I baby-voiced.

"Awe!" He gushed.

We continued playfully feeding each other until it was done. He put his arm on the back of my chair and leaned in to kiss my cheek. I put my hand on his knee and smiled at our close proximity. Niall tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and breathed loudly.

"Lezile, I-"

"How is everything?" Our waitress asked.

Niall groaned and looked up to the woman, "yeah, everything's great. We'll come pay now."

She smiled and walked away. He stood up and stood behind me and pulled my chair out from me as I stood up. I grabbed my bag and flung it over my shoulders, and walked with Niall to the counter as he paid. I don't really like it when guys pay for the whole meal, but he insisted. As we left, he took my hand and we walked to the car. His phone went off, blasting an unrecognizable tune.

"Hey man!...Just had dinner," he turned and smiled at me, "um, sure? Everything alrigh?.. You sure now?.. Okay mate, we'll head over now."

"Is everything alright?" I asked.

"Yeah, Lou just phoned me, said he wants us to come over for something. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, we can go."

We got in the car and headed over to Louis' house. It took only ten minutes, and it was a beautiful house. Simple, white panelled house with pale blue shutters. Niall parked and we got out, Louis immediately opening the door.

"Come on guys!"

We rushed in the house only to see all the boys sitting on the couches, blankets and pillows everywhere and junk food on the table.

"What's this?" Niall asked Louis, just as confused as I was. Louis had made it sound like it was an emergency.

"We gave you lovebirds time for dinner, but now, you're both ours," Louis winked. Zayn was smiling wide, Harry was playing with his blanket, and Liam was looking very depressed. My heart ached just looking at him. I smiled up at Niall who returned it.

"Alrigh', we'll stay for a bit," he bargained.

"YEAH!" Louis shouted, grabbing my hand and pulling me toward the couch, pulling me down with him. He snuggled me from the side and buried his face in my arm.

"This is my girl, right here!" He shouted.

"Back off, Lou," Niall countered, plopping down beside me and wrapping his arm around my shoulder. Louis let me go and jumped over to the other couch and snuggled up to Harry. I internally laughed at their 'relationship.'

I reached down and grabbed the dark blue fleece blanket and fluffed it out so that it stretched over us both. Zayn pressed play and the movie Armageddon started playing. I started smiling really wide and Niall noticed.

"What?" Niall asked.

"I love this movie, it's beautiful!" I whispered.

"You're beautiful," he whispered back.

We moved so that we were laying down on the couch, me on the inside, and Niall was on the edge, the blanket still over us. Our legs were intertwined and I cuddled closer to him. He turned his head toward me and I reached my hand up and rubbed his neck. He leaned in and I mimicked him, and our lips connected, having our date-ending kiss. He pulled the blanket over our heads and he deepened the kiss, to which I happily agreed to. Sure, the boys were in the same room, but they were leaving tomorrow for the judge's house, and I wasn't going to let this moment go to waste.

Someone whacked our covered heads with what felt like a DvD case.

"Oi! Snog on your own time, children," said a voice who I instantly knew as Zayn.

Niall and I laughed to ourselves and pulled the blanket over our heads, returning our view to the TV, but my eyes caught Liam's, and the sight nearly stopped my beating heart. His eyes looked tired and puffy, as if he'd been crying. I looked away and focused on the movie. I fell asleep for a good part of the movie, but I woke up just in time for the part that always made me cry; when the father sacrifices himself and lets his future son-in-law live. I felt the tears prick my eyes but I held them in. Niall and the other boys were still focused on the movie. When the father, Bruce Willis, was talking to his daughter for the last time, the tears started brimming my eyes, and a couple fell. I wiped them away, and Niall turned to me, eyes sad when he saw me crying.

"Awe, don't cry," he whispered, wiping at my eyes.

Once the explosion happened, I buried my face in Niall's side, refusing to cry at the movie anymore. He kissed the top of my head and held me close to him.

"Is my girl crying?" Louis shouted.

Niall chuckled, "yeah, she is."

"Awe! Baby!"

I felt a crushing weight on me. Louis had jumped on Niall and I and was trying to hug me through the blanket. He kissed my hair a couple times and jumped off us.

"Don't cry, love! He's still alive in real life!"

I laughed at Louis' sweet attempts.

"Put in a comedy so my girl doesn't cry again. We may drown from her tears!" Louis shouted.

The boys shared a laugh and they put in National Lampoon's Van Wilder, a movie that I loved as well.

I cuddled into Niall's side and closed my eyes, listening intently to the movie, but slowly drifting off to sleep. Last thing I remember was Niall holding me tight against him.

I woke up in my room, it was completely dark. I blinked a few times to adjust my sight. My bed was empty, so Niall was in his own room, I guess. I heard a small thud in my room followed by an, "ah, damn!"

I practically leapt out of bed and turned on the light. I rubbed my sore eyes to make sure I was seeing correctly.

"Liam? What-what are you doing here?"

He stumbled over and fell into my arms.

"She wants me back. Amanda, and I just.. I don't know. I can't do this again, not feeling this way, at least."

I held his head in my hands, looking him in his deep brown eyes.

"Feeling what way?"

"About you."

I think I stopped breathing, "what?"

"I like you so much. I want to be with you so badly, and it kills me when I see you with Niall. I try not to look at you because my feelings are so strong."

I couldn't think, I couldn't move, not even speak. I let go of his face and held onto his shoulders. He held my waist tight.

"You feel this too, I know you do," he whispered.

He leaned down and held his lips close to mine, his breath mingling with mine. I looked up at him then back to his lips. We connected and he pulled me closer to him, pushing us both to the bed until he was lying on me. I pulled him down closer to me and he happily obliged. He trailed kisses down my neck.

"Liam," I breathed.

He rubbed my waist where my shirt had ridden up, sending electric shock through my whole body. My door burst open and my heart nearly stopped.

When I caught my breath, I spoke.

"Niall.."

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**:) **


	13. Pictures of You, Pictures of Me

I gasped for air as I clutched at my heart, my body damp with sweat. My room was dark, and a familiar feeling settled over me. I jumped out of bed and ran to turn on my light. My eyes adjusted to see that it was _empty_. No Niall, no Liam.. I breathed heavily as I recalled my dream, of Liam on top of me, us kissing, Niall walking in. There's worse dreams to have, but that was my biggest nightmare. I looked at the clock which read 1:48am. I could already tell I wasn't getting anymore sleep tonight. I remembered my phone was buzzing earlier and I grabbed my purse and rummaged through it, and quickly unlocked it, seeing I had 2 missed calls and 3 unread Texts.

_2 Missed Calls; Liam Payne_

I let out the long breath I was holding, and checked the times of the calls. They were during my date with Niall.

_3 Missed Texts; 2 from Liam Payne, 1 from Louis Tomlinson._

_Liam Payne_: I take it you're with Niall, just.. call me back please, I need to talk to you.

_2__nd__ Text_: I'm going to miss you when we leave, so tomorrow please phone me.

I sighed at his texts. I should have phoned him back, but I had completely forgot to check my phone earlier to see who had phoned me. I checked the last text.

_Louis Tomlinson_: Way to fall asleep on us tonight, babe! It was hilarious seein' Liam piggy-back your sleepin' body to the car ;) night night, xx.

Liam carried me to the car? What the _hell_ was going on? I put my phone down and quietly made my way to the hallway, checking the make sure it was empty before tip-toeing to Niall's room. I opened the door and closed it, the dark engulfing the whole room. I could make out Niall's curled up body on his bed. My stomach twisted with unknown nerves as I felt the comforter of his bed before pulling it back and sliding in. I moved my body behind his, reaching my arm under his and grabbing his hand that was against his stomach. He flinched a little, but his hand lightly squeezed mine back. I kissed his shoulder before settling comfortably against him, letting unconsciousness grab a hold of me.

In the morning light, where hopefully everything would make sense, I awoke to a tingling sensation on my arm. I blinked my eyes brutally, letting them adjust to the brightness of the room. Niall was just looking at me, tracing his fingers on my arm.

"When do you leave?" I whispered groggily.

He sighed, "we're gonna leave later tonight."

I nodded and bit my lip.

"And this time you're gone for?.."

"A week."

"Uh huh," I replied, sitting up and hugging the comforter around my knees. Niall sat up too.

"Look, I know how hard this is for you to be here without us, but just know I wish that you could come with us."

An idea, a drastic one, popped into my head, "I could come with you."

"What?"

I looked at him enthusiastically, "yeah! I could graduate next year, who cares. I'll come with you boys, to support you!"

He shook his head and looked down at his hands, "no."

"No?"

"I can't let you do that, not for us, as much as we'd all love that."

"You don't want me there?"

"I do want you there, but you're only a little over a month away from graduating, we all are. I can't let you screw it up for yourself by coming with us."

I nodded my head and pursed my lips together tightly, "okay, I'll just stay here."

"Don't make me feel guilty."

"I'm not trying to," I said with a pissy attitude.

I got off the bed and went to my room. Hours from now the boys would be leaving for Dublin for a week. If they got through this part of the competition, it was bye-bye for months, in London. I changed into some black jeans, a striped t-shirt and tan cardigan. I applied cover-up to my disgustingly dark circles under my eyes and a bit of mascara and threw my hair up in a high ponytail. I decided I looked alright and grabbed my purse before leaving my room and practically running down the stairs and out the door. I walked for nearly 40 minutes, all alone, until I arrived at my destination. I walked up the stone steps and stopped at the door, breathing in a huge gasp of air before knocking. It shouldn't have, but my heart rate was picking up speed as the seconds went by. I heard the footsteps stop at the door, the click of locks moving, and the swishing sound of the door opening.

"Lezile? What are you doing here?"

"You said you needed to talk to me, Liam, so I came to see you," I practically whispered.

He stepped to the side and ushered me in, closing the door behind me. I heard music coming from upstairs.

"Come on," he whispered, walking up the stairs. I felt guilty following him, especially for not telling Niall that I left the house. I followed Liam to his room; dark blue walls with a white comforter set, a dresser and desk. The stereo was playing She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5.

"I love this song."

Liam turned toward me and smiled, "me too. It's beautiful."

I nodded, "it is."

I sat on the bed next to Liam, and he turned up the volume.

"I thought you wanted to talk?" I asked.

"Shhhh, after the song."

I laughed lightly at him. He began singing to the song and I found myself mesmerized by it, by him.

_I don't mind spending every day,  
>out on your corner in the pouring rain.<br>Look for the girl with the broken smile,  
>ask her if she wants to stay awhile.<em>

Though I can't really sing, I joined him in the last part,_  
>And she will, be loved.<br>Yeah, she will be loved._

We smiled at each other as the song continued playing. This song, I don't know what it is, it always makes me feel extremely happy, but at the same time, the beat and the passion make it easy to want to cry. I thought of Niall, he was probably wondering where the hell I went to. I couldn't check my phone, because there were probably missed texts and calls, and I couldn't look at them. I honestly don't deserve him, he's way to perfect, and here I am, at Liam's house, without him knowing anything. I thought back to the dream of Liam and I kissing and my heart began beating fast and hard.

"Are you alright?" Liam asked.

I nodded, biting my lip. He put his hand on mine on the bed, and I looked down at his action.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked.

He cleared his throat, "Amanda, she said she made a mistake breaking up with me."

My heart dropped, this was playing out too much like the dream..

"And..?"

He continued, "I don't know if I can get back together with her, not with this going on."

"Uh.. with what going on?"

He laced his hand fully in mine, squeezing it. Jesus Christ, I think I'm going to pass out.

"X-Factor. I've got to focus on this, for the boys, and I don't know, it doesn't feel right, going back with her."

I breathed out heavily, "yeah, I get it."

I was extremely happy, because Amanda didn't deserve someone like Liam. He is too amazing, for anyone.

"Do you think I should get back together with her?" He asked.

I looked him directly in his eyes, which looked pleading for me to give him an answer.

"No."

He looked shocked, "that was rather quick.."

"She doesn't deserve you, Liam. You're too amazing, for anyone, really."

He smiled, "seriously?"

"You're sweet, and caring, and you'd do anything for the people you love. I think that there's that perfect girl out there for you, you just haven't found her yet."

He smiled lightly, before taking his hand and placing it on my cheek. I breathed in heavily, and shakily. Oh jesus, what the hell have I done! He pulled me in by my neck and hugged me tight. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him back. We stayed like that for what felt like years, before he started to pull back. I turned my head toward his just as he did to mine. We were close, _too_ close in fact, as I could feel his breath mix with mine. He looked to my lips then back to my eyes. What was I even feeling for Liam? Was it anything _real_ or am I just freaking out too much over the dream? I have Niall, perfect, beautiful Niall, who I left at home to sneak out and come see Liam. What the fuck am I doing?

The temptation to kiss Liam was strong, with his forehead leaning against mine and how close we were, the feeling in my gut was starting to feel like euphoric acid. The same feeling I felt when I was anywhere near Niall..

I pulled back and stood up.

"I have to go home."

Liam nodded slowly.

"To see _Niall_," I accentuated. I don't know why I said it like that, but I did.

He looked to the floor and bit his lip.

"I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Yeah," he whispered.

I left Liam alone in his room, and left his house. I walked nearly ten minutes away from his house before pulling out my phone, ignoring the missed texts and calls and phoning Niall right away.

"Where are you!" He shouted with concern.

"Can you come pick me up?"

"Of course! But where the bloody hell are you?"

I told him the address and he said he'd be here in a few minutes. I put my phone back in my bag and sat down on the stone ledge that followed the road.

I admit, it was a tempting thing to do, kiss Liam. I was used to being able to kiss anyone I wanted back home, because I was never in a relationship. But now, I'm with Niall, and it doesn't matter what my _old_ instincts were telling me to do, I wasn't going to kiss Liam, _or_ Harry, no matter how much my head would tell me to. The dream with Liam.. I'm hoping was just a fluke dream, did it mean anything? Was my subconscious trying to tell me something that I didn't want to acknowledge? Couldn't be possible, because I'm with Niall, and the way I feel about him.. I can't even put into words.

I heard the honk of horn and looked up as Niall parked the car on the side of the road and practically jumped out of his seat and ran over towards me, engulfing me in a hug.

"Where were you! Why didn't you answer my calls? I thought something happened to you!"

He was practically cutting off my circulation with his hug, but I hugged him back anyways. He let go and took my face in between his hands, eyeing me nervously before kissing me.

"Well?" He asked.

"I just went for a walk. Got kind of lost."

I instantly felt like shit for lying to him, but what was I going to say? "_I walked to Liam's house because he was the one phoning us on our date last night, he held my hand, we hugged, maybe almost kissed, and now here we are_," um, no thank you.

He hugged me again before guiding me to the car. I got in and we drove home. Once we made it home, we went in and both went to his room. He had clothes flung basically everywhere around his room, and none were in his bag that was on his bed. Feeling guilty, I helped him pack his clothes in his bag while he organized his toiletries. Took us only 20 minutes to finish packing it all.

"Anything fun happening in town today?"

He looked stunned by my question, "uh, I'm pretty sure the fair is starting today for the weekend, why?"

"We can get the boys together, have some fun," I smiled.

He thought about it for a few seconds, but nodded his head, "sure, could be fun."

He took out his phone and phoned Louis, telling him to tell the boys to get ready and meet us downtown at the fair. I could hear Louis shrieking already in excitement. He hung up and smiled at me, "all set to go!" He shouted.

I laughed as he picked me up and spun me around his room.

"You know what?" He asked.

"No, what?"

He set me down, "I basically cried to Liam when we left for the audition."

"Why?"

"Missing everyone, especially you. I didn't know if you were going to want to go through this, I made myself paranoid, and Liam had to calm me down," he chuckled at his own words, "I thought that maybe you were going to find somebody else."

I thought back to the kiss between Harry and I outside the pub before they left, and me sneaking out earlier to see Liam.

"No, nobody else," I smirked.

"I know, Liam told me to trust what we have," he smiled.

"Liam said that?"

"Should he not have..?"

"No, just.. I don't what I was thinking," I joked sarcastically.

"My silly girl," he kissed my forehead and pulled me in for a hug.

"Niall! Lezile! Come downstairs, please!" Mum shouted.

We looked at each other for a moment, but Niall took my hand and led us downstairs.

"Yeah?" Niall shouted.

"In the kitchen!"

We walked in and saw the table filled with food. Pancakes, French toast, fruit, juice, bacon, and eggs.

"What's all this for?" Niall asked.

"A family brunch before you leave for the week!" Mum smiled happily. Dad and Jon were already sitting down.

"This is great, Mum," he smiled before sitting down. I sat next to him while Mum sat on the other side next to Jon, with Dad at the head of the table.

We all began to eat, making enthusiastic conversation all around the table. Niall stacked his plate with a bunch of everything on it and I just laughed at him.

"What?" He smirked.

"You're so fat."

"You love it," he whispered, might I say, sexily.

Mum cleared hear throat, and Niall and I broke up our little moment, both smirking at our plates. He held my hand under the table as we ate, and I couldn't help but relish the moment because it was going to be a week of sad breakfast's for the next week.

"What are you two doing today?" Dad asked.

"Going to the fair tonight with the boys," I told him.

Jon piped up in excitement, "I want to go! Dad, can we go too?"

"Sure we can!"

Mum and Dad smiled at one another over going to the fair with their son. In that moment, in that one small smile, I noticed their love for one another, and it was something I hoped to feel one day. We finished eating and helped clean up before Niall and I re-treated upstairs to grab our stuff to go to the fair. He phoned Louis again and said that we were leaving now. I grabbed my purse and followed Niall out and into the car. As we made our way downtown, a familiar tune came on the radio that I recognized as the one and only, Olly Murs.

"I love this song!" I shouted.

Niall laughed at me and began singing with me. Granted, I had no voice like his, but I sang proudly anyways.

"_Winter time in London are you making plans  
>Are you still rocking converse with your old Raybans<br>If you're sitting in the places that we used to be  
>Or if you're somewhere listening to Bob Marley<br>Then I know that you're somewhere thinking of me_"

We blasted the song through the speakers, practically screaming it. We laughed and continued singing until it ended, giving me an emotional high as we continued singing to the radio and pulled into the parking area for the fair. We got out and Niall took my hand, lacing our fingers together. We bought some tickets and walked around, until we heard shouting from behind us.

"Oi! Lovebirds!"

Louis came running, crashing into us as he wrapped his arms around our necks. We turned around and I saw Harry, Liam and Zayn walking up. I made brief eye-contact with Liam, which he avoided.

"What are we doing first?" Lou shouted again.

"Games?" I asked.

"To the games!" And he and Harry took off running towards the basketball shooter-round.

"Come on, Liam, lets do the strength one, see how tough you are!" Zayn joked, but Liam took it seriously, probably to get away from this awkward moment, and they walked away.

"Now where are _we_ off to, love?" Niall asked.

"Basketball with the two goofballs," I laughed.

We went and watched Louis and Harry try and double-team the one basket, but failing because Lou just kept chucking the balls instead of aiming. Niall gave the guy a few tickets and our net started making loud buzzing noises. He picked up a ball and began shooting to the net. I followed him but I kept missing and really just started throwing them like Louis was.

I laughed, "I suck!"

Niall laughed with me, then stood behind me, picking up a ball and handing it to me.

"Here," he guided my hands so that they were holding the ball straight in front of me.

"Just guide your wrist straight through and let the ball go," he whispered.

I bit my lip to hide my thoughts about how cute this was, but I focused on his words. I let the ball go effortlessly and it went in just before the buzzer went off. We didn't win anything, but frankly, I didn't care.

"Good job," he whispered again, holding my waist.

Louis and Harry were making girly noises as Louis held Harry's waist next to us.

"Oh, Louis, thank you for teaching me how to hold your balls properly!" Harry squealed.

"Harry darling, you did wonderful!" Louis countered back.

I laughed at the boys idiocy before Niall smacked them both playfully.

"Alrigh' lovebirds, let's go," Lou smirked, grabbing my hand and pulling me away. He began running with me, pulling me through people as I looked back to Niall and Harry, both smiling at me.

"What shall we do now, love?" Louis winked as we slowed to a walk.

I swung our hands back and forth, "oh, darling, whatever you want, I'll do!"

"Make Harry love me!" He shouted, which caused a few people to stare at us.

"Oh God, Lou..," I giggled.

Louis and I played a few more games before Liam and Zayn came up to us. Liam was still acting a little shy around me, but I was trying so hard not to make our little "moment" from earlier known to everyone else.

"Photobooth!" I shouted, pointing to the large box, "can we do it, please?"

The boys all looked to each other and Louis shared my excitement, "let's do it, boys!"

All four of us crammed into the booth, Liam and Zayn in the back, Louis in the middle and me sitting on him. We pressed the button and took a couple silly pictures, a surprisingly good-looking normal one, before Liam, Zayn and I kissed Louis at the same time. I kissed his cheek, Liam kissed his head, and Zayn kissed the other cheek, while Louis made a girly shocked expression. We left the booth laughing our heads off, and we each picked up our copies of the pictures, sharing even more laughs at them. I put mine in my purse and saw Niall and Harry looking around, probably for us.

"Niall! Harry!" I called, and they turned and made their way over to us.

"Picture-booth? WITHOUT US?" Harry shouted at Louis.

"Let's go, then," I smiled, taking both Harry and Niall's hands. The other boys protested doing it again.

Harry sat in the middle of Niall and I and we took a goofy picture, where Niall pretended to be picking Harry's nose.. I'll never understand boys. The next one I was in the middle, and I wrapped my arms around both of the boys, hugging them, while they smiled goofily.

"I'll let you two have these ones," Harry lazily smiled, leaving the booth.

Niall decided to be an idiot and gave me a head noogie while I laughed like a moron. Once the laughing was over, we smiled regularly at the camera for the last picture, holding hands, not that the camera could see. We stepped out of the booth, grabbed the pictures and gave Harry his copy. We laughed at these ones, before I put them in my purse too.

"Ferris wheel, anyone?" Liam asked us, and we agreed.

The sun was starting to set lower and lower and my happiness was slowly disintegrating as well. The boys would be leaving probably within the hour, and I had to feel empty for yet another week. I felt Niall wrap his arm around my shoulder, pulling me to him and I returned the smile to him. We gave the man our tickets for the Ferris Wheel, and Liam and Zayn hopped on first, then Harry and Louis, who were holding hands and acting like girls. They were the funniest idiots I'd ever met, that's for sure! Lastly, Niall and I got on, and I got a little scared, because I was _never_ one for heights.

"I hope this thing doesn't break," I said shakily.

"It's only broken down every year, but I'm sure we'll be fine," he smirked.

I laughed sarcastically, "oh God, not funny.."

He held my hand and I scooted close to him.

"I won't let anything bad happen to you, I promise."

The Ferris Wheel stopped just as Niall and I were at the top.

"Oh god," I began freaking out.

Niall just laughed, "hey, I promised you that you'll be fine."

I buried my face in his shoulder, pretending that I was on the ground, the sweet, sweet pavement. I was meant to stay on the ground. I heard a click and I looked up, noticing that Niall had taken a picture of me freaking out in his shoulder, like a baby.

"Not funny!"

"I thought it was cute," he smiled, "but we'll take a good one, just smile," he said holding his phone up in front of us. I smiled at the phone as did he, and it clicked.

"You know," I said, looking at him checking out the picture on his phone, "I have an idea for a better picture."

He looked up at me and smiled as I leaned close to him and eventually closed the space, kissing him. I heard the click of the camera on his phone and we pulled apart.

"I think I messed up, let's take another," he whispered, making me laugh before we kissed again.

***Liam's POV***

Zayn and I were laughing at Harry and Louis serenading each other romantically in the seat above us.

"Easy boys, your gay is showing!" Zayn shouted, making me laugh even more. We were on the way down now, but it stopped, letting people off and more on. We rocked our seat back and forth and Lou and Harry began singing to us, "rock the boat!"

Then Zayn and I laughed before singing back, "rock the boat, baby!"

"Rock the boat!"

"Don't tip the boat over!"

We laughed a loud until I heard Niall and Lezile. I slowly turned my head toward the top of the Ferris Wheel, seeing Niall taking a picture of them smiling. My gut twisted as I saw her whisper something to him. I saw him smile and reach his hand out about to take another picture. Before I saw them.. kissing. I looked down before looking at Zayn, who was joking and laughing with Harry and Lou. I risked another look and saw Niall say something to her before he kissed her again, a sour taste coming into my mouth.

"What you lookin' at?" Zayn asked me, following my gaze.

"Uh, nothing," I said quickly, looking away, but he saw.

He looked from Lezile and Niall to me, then sighed, "Liam..?"

I just looked to my right, staring at the groups of people laughing and playing games. I couldn't look at Zayn, because as a guy, he knows what I was probably thinking _and_ feeling right now. I looked down at the man working the Ferris Wheel and breathed a heavy sigh as I felt it move again. Just get me off this ride.

***Lezile's POV***

We got off the ride and walked over to the boys waiting for us.

"Wasn't so bad, was it?" Niall asked, shoving me playfully.

"No, you're a pretty good distraction," I smiled.

He blushed lightly and looked to the guys, "about time to go?"

Liam spoke up, "yeah, we'll go get all our luggage and come pick you up."

"Okay," Niall replied, taking my hand and leading me back towards the car. We got in and headed towards home, his hand never leaving mine. He rubbed circles on it as I stared out the window. We soon arrived and headed inside, and up the stairs, into his room. I sat on the bed and watched him as he double-checked everything in his bag, and grabbing a few extras we forgot from earlier. He sat next to me once he finished.

"I'm proud of you," I told him.

"I know you are, and I'm glad you're supporting me. I don't want to go through this alone."

"You have-"

"The boys, I know, but I can't kiss and hug the boys romantically," he smirked.

We closed the space between us and kissed.

"Let's go wait downstairs," he stated.

I nodded as he picked up his bag and led the way downstairs. I opened the door and took his bag out on the front steps as he said good-bye to his Family. I sat down and gave them their private time. A few minutes passed and I saw Liam pull up in front of the house. I got up and picked up Niall's bag, taking it down to the car, handing it to Harry. He tossed it in the trunk and closed it. I hugged him tightly, stunning him for a second. He probably thought he didn't deserve any physical or verbal contact from me after the kiss. I was determined to try and forget about that. Liam, Louis and Zayn got out of the car, awaiting their hugs. I left Harry's arms and went to Zayn's, rocking us back and forth and giggling. Louis practically ripped me from Zayn's arms and held onto me, jumping in my arms. I laughed uncontrollably as he wrapped his legs around my waist.

"Never let go, Rose, never let go!" He quoted.

I laughed louder and gripped him, trying not to let him fall, "I won't, Jack! I won't!"

The boys laughed at us and Louis jumped down, giving me a proper hug, "I'm going to miss you."

"Me too," I whispered to him.

He let go and Liam stood there awkwardly, but I slowly stepped toward him and pulled him in for a hug, which I know he happily melted in to. He held me tightly, until Zayn whispered, "Niall.."

Liam let go and stepped away from me. I turned and saw Niall standing behind me, reaching his arms out. The boys piled back into the car, and I stepped in to Niall's awaiting embrace. We hugged tightly and kissed sweetly. I rested my forehead on his.

"I'm going to miss you so much," he whispered.

"Me too, you have no idea."

We kissed one last time before we let go and he climbed into the car. And once again, Liam started the car and drove away, my eyes never leaving Niall's until the car rounded the corner and disappeared. I gripped the necklace Niall had given me in my hand and walked back into the house, and upstairs, not in to my room, but into Niall's. I closed the door and sat on his bed and pulled out the pictures from the fair tonight, smiling at the idiocy of these boys, and the beauty of one in particular.

My phone buzzed from inside my bag and I reached in and saw,

_1 New Picture Message, Niall Horan_.

I opened the message and saw the picture of him and I kissing on the Ferris Wheel. Under the picture, there was a message,

_Count down the days, I'll be home to you soon 3 xx._

I smiled and bit my lip as I saved the picture to my phone. I laid down on his bed, staring at the picture of us. The euphoric feeling in me came back as I realized that this beauty, this wonder, this _perfection_, was mine.

**Sooooooooo, I know I've tortured a few of you with holding this Chapter for so long, and I'm sorry! I've re-written this at least 5 different ways, trying to make it something that I hope you guys would like to read, and I'm hoping you did! I've got MORE chapters to come, so if you want to read, let me know?**

**Sidenote, to those of you who reviewed about the last Chapter, honestly, it made me smile knowing how much you enjoy it! And how you really wanted this Chapter :)**

**AND:**

**Asleigh1D, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D I made sure that this was posted for your birthday, :) haha! Hope you're having a great day!**

**Leave a review!  
>Please? :)<strong>


	14. Please Don't Let Me Go

The weekend passed by slow as hell, because Niall and the boys weren't here to distract me. They had been texting to me to tell me about what they were doing, about practices and such, and how much they missed home. Their audition was going to be filmed on the Monday, then aired on the Thursday. I hoped with every fiber of my being that they would make it through. They have to, they're incredibly talented and amazing, the judge's would be stupid if they didn't let them through.

I was lounging on my bed, listening to my ipod. I was singing along to Please Don't Let Me Go, when my phone began ringing. I pulled out my headphones and looked at the Caller I.D. I smiled and slide the green bar.

"Lou!" I shouted.

"Ello, love, you alright?"

"Doing wonderful! How are you boys?"

"Great! Just finished rehearsal, just relaxing now. Wish you were here."

"Me too, Lou, me too. I'll see you soon though," I reassured.

"Who you talking to?" I heard in the background.

"Lezile,-"

There was scrambling on the other end and hushed voices fighting over the phone.

"Give it back, Curly!"

"Let me talk to her!" Harry shouted.

"I've barely spoken to her!"

I just waited patiently as the boys fought over the phone.

"Curly's going mental over here, I'll talk to you later, love," Louis said.

"Alright, bye Lou, love you!"

"Love you too!"

I heard a scratching sound before hearing Harry speak into the phone, "Lezile?"

I giggled, "yes, Harry."

"Okay, good. Hold on one second."

I could faintly hear him walking, the sounds of the other boys disappearing. I heard a door close before he started speaking again.

"I didn't want the other boys to hear."

"Oh, that's alright I guess."

An awkward silence fell upon us for a few seconds.

"So, how are you, Harry?"

"Uh, I'm alright. How are you?"

"I'm okay.."

He cleared his throat, "look, the reason I left the other room was because I need to talk to you about what I did.. and I really don't want Niall to hear this."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, "okay," I whispered.

"I am so sorry, love. I don't know why I kissed you outside the pub that day. No, actually I do, because you are so amazing, and I'm still mad that you chose Niall over me."

"Harry-"

"Please, let me just rant, okay?"

I nodded.

"Lezile?"

"I'm nodding, sorry."

"Sometimes I don't see why you're with him, what he has that I _don't_, and it kinda kills me when I see you two laughing and being all cute together, when for a very short time, that was you and I. I do miss holding your hand, sleeping on your chest and listening to your heartbeat, and when we danced. It was such a short time, and I didn't get to really enjoy it before it was taken from me."

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, because it was true. What Harry and I had was great, but it wasn't long before that was over. He continued talking and snapped me out of my thoughts.

"I just want you to know that if you need anyone for anything, that you can _always_ come to me. I know you and Liam are really close, but I'd like to be the one you come to, at least sometimes."

"You will, Harry. I promise. I just didn't know how to talk to you after the kiss. It..," I took a deep breath, "I know that we have seen each other, but I do miss you, Harry."

"Yeah, I get it."

"I do miss what we had of our short time together, you know."

"..you do?"

"I absolutely do. Don't think just because I'm with Niall right now, that I don't still miss what we had. Part of me always will."

"You're beautiful, love."

I bit my lip and wiped at my eyes, "I miss you, Harry."

"I miss you too," he whispered.

I heard rustling on Harry's end before hearing, "Haz, who you talking to?"

It was Liam..

"Lezile, do you wanna talk to her?"

I heard whispers and I pressed my ear to the phone as tight as I could, "no, I don't want to talk to her."

Harry whispered aggressively back to him, "she misses us, get on the phone and talk to her."

"I'm sorry Haz, I can't."

It felt like my stomach was in my throat. I heard Harry uncover the phone and sigh deeply.

"Was that Liam?" I asked stupidly.

"Uh yeah, it was. He said he'd love to chat but he was busy."

"I heard what he said Harry, but nice try."

"I'm sorry babe," he whispered.

"It's alright."

"Did something happen..?"

I scratched the back of my neck, "uh, no, nothing happened. I don't know what's up with him."

"D'ya want me to talk to him?"

"No! I mean, no, it's alright. I'll talk to him later."

"Alright.. If you're sure."

"I am. So tell me what's new with you, I miss talking to you."

Harry filled me in on everything, and I mean _everything_ that was going on with him, especially X-Factor. He said he's gotten a lot of texts and messages online from girls from our school since he's been on television. No doubt now that everyone wants to get in Harry's pants.

"Never got many dates before, but now I've got girls just throwing themselves at me!"

I laughed as I toyed with the hem of my shirt, "guess you better open your arms and catch 'em all, Haz."

"Like Pokemon?" He shouted excitedly.

"Yes, like Pokemon!"

He laughed along with me.

"Oh god, Harry, my cheeks hurt from laughing!"

"Mine too! You're one funny lady."

"Thank you, thank you!" I giggled.

We calmed down from our laughter and just enjoyed the silence. It wasn't awkward like before. Just us, listening to each other's breaths as they came through the phone.

"Harry!" I heard someone call from his side.

"Yeah?" He shouted back.

"You've been missing for nearly a half hour, who you talking to?" I realized by the voice it was Niall.

"Oh, uh, nobody."

Thank you, Harry! God bless his lie.

"Seriously mate, who you talking to?"

I heard rustling and Harry and Niall fighting for the phone. Before I could think, I pressed the end button. I gripped my phone hard between my hands, waiting for a call back. If it rang, Niall knew. I don't know why I didn't want him to know. Just seems like it'd be easier. He doesn't know about the kiss, he doesn't need to know about the phone call that lasted over half an hour..

I tossed the phone back on the bed and put my headphones back in, turning up Olly and letting my thoughts over-power my mind and my Sunday day drag-on.

I had fallen asleep and dreamt of Harry. His perfect smile, his gorgeous eyes, his curly hair.. I dreamt he kissed me after making it through to the X-Factor Live Shows, and I could still remember how it felt to have his lips on mine. The way my hands ran through his curls and his hands snaked around my waist. Harry was protective, and warm, and yes, undeniably sexy, but I've got my very beautiful boyfriend Niall to get me through. He means everything to me.

I woke up later after my nap feeling even more tired and stressed. My body was screaming with tension. I got up and grabbed a couple towels and drew myself a hot bath. I got in and just rested, letting the hot water relax my muscles. As I settled in the hot water, my mind drifted. What the hell was I doing? Thinking about Harry and Liam while I was dating Niall. I felt like an emotional two-timer! I just had a nagging feeling like something was wrong, especially with me. I don't know if I'm really a relationship kind of girl. I couldn't imagine not being around Niall though, let alone leaving him and having him go off with another girl; I don't think I could handle it. With all that, I don't know why I'm literally playing with fire.. especially Liam. No idea why him ignoring me was making me freak out so bad. I cleaned my body and washed my hair and got out of the tub, drying off and putting on a tank top, my comfy grey sweater and black sweats.

I walked back to my room and just laid down on my bed, pulling out the pictures of me and the boys at the fair. I looked over all of them carefully, making me miss them all even more. I bit my lip as I reached for my phone, opening up the contacts.

I began typing a new message.

_Where do I begin? Should I tell you how bad I need you now, you're underneath my skin 3_

I clicked the send button, biting hard on my lip as I re-read the lyrics I had sent. I waited and waited, and soon, four minutes later began to feel like an eternity. My phone beeped and I quickly opened up the text, smiling as I read what _he_ sent.

_I never knew what I wanted 'til I looked into your eyes, so am I in this alone? What I'm looking for is a sign, that you feel how I feel for you, baby please don't let me go 3 xx_

From: _Niall Horan_.

I smiled wide as I texted him back.

_I miss you so much, I think I'm going insane without you here!_

A few minutes later, he texted back

_I think you were already insane, love ;) But don't worry, I'll be home to you soon. I miss you like crazy, don't think that I don't, xx_

I laughed at him calling me crazy, which really is true. We continued texting for a couple of hours until he told me that he and the boys were going to bed so that they had enough sleep for their audition tomorrow. I wished him goodnight and our conversation ended.

That night, I couldn't sleep. My stomach churned cutely as I thought of Niall. It was now 2am, and I was nowhere close to sleep.

My phone beeped and I looked to the nightstand where my phone had lit up. I reached over and checked who had texted me.

_Please tell me you're awake, I'm bored._

I giggled lightly and texted back.

_You should be in bed, Styles. Go to sleep, Curly!_

Harry: _I tried! Niall's snoring is so hard to ignore!_

Me: _Haha, he doesn't snore THAT loudly!_

Harry: _Oh, but he does. I don't snore.._

Me: _No, you don't, Styles :) You're as quiet as a little mouse._

Harry: _A manly mouse!_

Me: _HAHA, yeah, okay.._

Harry: _It's true! I'm manly :/_

Me: _okay, okay, very manly. I'm sorry, curly :p_

Harry: _As you should be -_-_

Me: _Are you nervous for the audition today?_

Harry: _Extremely. Liam's been trying to keep us all positive, but it's hard. I'm keep thinking I'm going to mess up, and cost us this whole thing._

Me: _You can't think like that, Harry. You're going to be amazing. You guys will make it through._

Harry: _How can you be so sure?_

Me: _Because I believe in you boys, and you. You're all too talented, and you deserve it._

Harry: _I hope so._

Me: _Get some sleep! You'll need it for the audition. Just think of something that calms you so you can sleep, and if you're nervous during the audition, just think of things that make you happy! :)_

Harry: _I will. Thanks, love! Sweet dreams xx_

Me: _Night :) xx_

I put my phone on the nightstand and drifted off to sleep, hoping that Harry would be alright.

***Next Day***

I was tapping my pen on the desk, looking at the time. It was 12:29pm. One more minute and it'd be lunch time, which would be time for me to call the boys to see about the audition. I tapped my pen more furiously on the desk, annoying the girls next to me, but frankly, I didn't care. The bell rang and I jumped out of my seat, grabbing my books and rushing out of the classroom, gaining looks from everyone around me. I rushed to my locker and threw my books inside and grabbed my phone. I punched his number furiously into my phone, messing up a few times because I was going too fast.

"Come on," I whispered into the phone as it rang.

"Ellooo?" He joked.

"Harry, babe!"

A few girls shot me weird looks as they heard what I had said.

"Hi, love!" He laughed.

"Did you make it?"

"We're packing right now, because we're coming home.."

"Oh god, Harry, I'm so-"

"BECAUSE WE'RE MOVING TO LONDON!"

It felt like fireworks had gone off inside of me, sending me into a crazy spin.

"WHAT!" I shouted.

"Yeah, love! We made it through! We're coming home to get our stuff, because we move to London in a week for the show!"

"Oh my god, Harry! I'm so proud of you!"

"I wish I could hug you right now so we could bask in the excitement!"

I bounced up and down excitedly, "I wish I could hug you too!" I laughed.

A girl who was next to my locker was staring at me weird, wondering why I was hoping to hug Harry Styles instead of Niall.

"Niall's here, he wants to talk to you..," Harry said.

"Oh, okay. Bye, Harry, I'm happy for you!"

He sounded down, "thanks."

There was rustling on the line and then I heard Niall's voice.

"Lezile?"

"Niall!"

"Harry tell you? WE'RE THROUGH!"

"Yeah, he told me! I'm so proud of you, I knew you could do it!"

"He did tell you? I told the lads not to!" His voice was becoming deeper.

"Niall, it's okay, what's it matter? You made it through!"

"I just wanted to be the one to tell you," he sighed.

"Well.. you can be the first to hug me when you come home?" I laughed.

"I'd love that," and I could hear him smile through the phone.

We talked for a few minutes before Louis and Zayn started shouting on the line with all their might.

"NOTHING'S FINE, I'M TORN!"

I laughed aloud and so did Niall.

"I miss you, Lezile!" Louis shouted.

"I miss you too, Lou! I love you!"

"I LOVE YOU TOO!"

"Hey, what about me?" Zayn whined.

"Love you too, Zayn!"

"Woo! Love you too!"

The boys shared a laugh.

"Liam! Come say hey to Lezile!" Niall yelled.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I heard the phone be passed. He obviously didn't want to make a scene in front of Niall.

"Hey, Lezile," he said dryly.

"Hi, Liam.. you alright?"

"Yes, are you?"

My voice cracked, "yes, I am."

"That's good. I'll see you soon, okay."

"Okay," I whispered.

Niall came back on the phone.

"Alright, love, we have to finish packing and get our info for the competition!" He practically screamed with excitement.

"Okay, well have fun! I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you, it means a lot from you. I miss you."

"I miss you too," I squeaked.

"I'll be home to you, soon. I promise."

"Okay. I'll be waiting."

"Bye, love."

"Bye."

And the line went dead. I put my phone back into my locker and shut the door, and still had a few girls give me weird looks. I slid down my locker and onto the floor, daydreaming about all the boys, and smiling at the fact that they had gotten through the X-Factor. Everything was about to change.

**Hello all!**

**Sorry it's taken me forever to upload this chapter, and I'm sorry it sucks royally, I really am.**

**I have a QUESTION for all of you lovely people. I need to know this ;) Leave your answer in the review thinger, pleaaase :)**

**Here it is; Besides Niall, who would you rather see Lezile with? Harry OR Liam? Leave a review about the chapter/the answer! **

**Love you, my peeps 3 xx**


	15. Run To Me

The next day, after school, Mum took me to the local mall to shop for Prom, because it was now only a month away. I had looked around for a long time at a few different stores, but nothing seemed to pop out at me. I hated this part of being a girl, because shopping, especially for dresses, was never my thing. Mum held up a few dresses, but nothing was catching my eye. Until I went to the back of a vintage boutique and spotted it. My perfect dress. It was strapless, to the floor, black and sequined on top, then cream coloured for the rest. I tried it on, and honestly, it was perfect. I came out of the dressing room and did a little twirl for Mum and she clasped her hands excitedly.

"Honey, it's beautiful! You'd be mental not to buy it."

I laughed and played with the sides of the dress, "I'm going to. It's going to be perfect."

I smiled at her and went back into the change room, taking the dress off. I smiled and day dreamed about Prom and how amazing it was going to be with Niall. I got dressed in my normal clothes and carried the dress out to the counter. I had bought black heels before I got the dress, so I was all done. I paid the lady for the dress and we left the mall. On the drive home, Mum started asking me about Prom, and especially Niall.

"So Niall's going to take you to Prom?"

"That's the plan, yeah. He promised," I smiled.

"And uh, any Prom parties afterward..?"

"Um, I'm not sure. These are all Niall's friends, I don't know what we're doing."

"Okay. Well, after Prom is usually when things get out of hand, like drinking, drugs.. and sex."

I swallowed the awkward lump in my throat and looked out the window, "uh huh."

"I just want to make sure that you and Niall.. if you're going to be doing that, that you'll be safe."

"The thought hadn't really crossed our minds, but _if_, and that's a BIG if, it were to happen, we'd be 100% safe, and sober, no less."

My answer seemed to please her, so she just smiled and continued driving. My phone beeped and I checked it, receiving a message from Harry.

_I hope you're home ;)_

Confused, I texted back.

_About 2 minutes away, why?_

Harry: _Oh, just because your five favourite boys are literally less then ten minutes away!_

Me: _Don't joke, Styles. I will punch you in the face if you're lying._

Harry: _Woah lady, I'm speakin the truth! I wouldn't dare lie. Niall wanted it to be a surprise, but I decided to ruin his plans, muahahah._

Me: _You're an evil boy, Styles :p Are you all coming over?_

Harry: _Uh, duh :)Why?_

Me: _I've got something I want to show you boys.._

Harry:_ Sounds naughty ;)_

Me: _HAHA_ _keep dreamin, curls._

Mum pulled into the driveway and parked the car. I grabbed my bags and practically jumped out of the car, running up to the house. I unlocked the door and pushed it open, breaking into a sprint for my room. I locked the door and took off my clothes and put my prom dress back on, smiling proudly as I zipped up the back. I took the heels out of the box and slipped them on my feet. I was going to have to practice wearing these so that I don't fall on my face during Prom.

I heard the door open downstairs and the boys pile into the house. I smiled nervously into the mirror as I heard my name being called from downstairs. I opened the door and shouted down to the boys.

"None of you are allowed to laugh at me!"

"What are you talking about?" Niall laughed.

"I bought something today, and I need your 5 opinions, but _no_ laughing!"

My nerves took over me as I heard Niall speak, "we promise!"

I drew out an awkward breath, as I stepped at the top of the stairs. They were talking to themselves as I began walking down the stairs, and the first pair of eyes I connected with, were Harry's. His smile dropped a little when he saw me, but it slowly grew to an even bigger smile. Niall noticed him and turned around to look at me, as did the other boys. None of them said anything, and it was killing me..

***Harry's POV***

My heart began racing about a thousand times faster when I saw her. She was stunning in that dress. Frankly, she was stunning in her regular clothes, but in that dress, I nearly died. I smiled wide at her, letting her silently know that I thought she looked beautiful. She smiled back, and once Niall noticed me, he turned around and looked at her. No doubt he was speechless, because she belonged to him. Jealousy hit right through me as they locked eyes and she reached the bottom step.

Her beautiful curves were noticeable in the dress, and it made me want to hold her even more. The other boys just smiled at her, while Louis wolf-whistled, making her blush. Niall held his hand out to her and she took it, letting him twirl her around for all of us, especially me, to admire her.

***Lezile's POV***

"You're stunning," Niall told me.

I smiled and tried to hide my blush. Louis wolf-whistled at me a couple of times.

"You look beautiful," Liam said plainly. I smiled at him and he returned it.

"I agree," Zayn added.

I looked to Harry, "Harry?"

He shook his head, coming out of his thoughts, "yeah?"

"What do you think?"

All the boys looked to him, and his eyes locked Niall's, obviously a little nervous of what to say.

"It's good."

My heart sunk a little, "good?"

I saw Niall shut his eyes and shake his head, "good, Harry?" He turned back toward me, holding my hands, "she's beautiful."

"I think, I'm going to go change out of this."

"Wait," Niall stopped me. He reached into his back pocket and grabbed his phone.

"Picture," he smiled.

I groaned playfully.

He handed his phone to Harry and he stood next to me, holding my waist as we smiled for the picture. Harry grinned uneasily as he snapped the picture, immediately handing it back to Niall. He looked over the picture, and once satisfied, he looked to me.

"I can now show everyone at X-Factor my beautiful girlfriend."

I smiled and took his hand, leading him upstairs as the boys sat on the couches.

"You're gonna help her take the dress of, Niall?" Lou grinned cheekily.

"Oh, shut up!" I joked.

He laughed and sat next to Harry, who looked back up at me. I smiled warmly at him before Niall and I disappeared into my room.

"I'm not usually one for dresses, but this is for Prom, so I figured I'd make do. Can you help me unzip?" I asked.

He stood behind me, fidgeting with the zipper. Once he got it undone, he turned around, letting me change back to my normal clothes.

"About Prom..," he started.

As I slipped my sweater on, he turned back around to me.

"What do you mean 'about prom,'" I whispered.

"We're going to be very busy with rehearsals and probably starting the competition, that I don't know if I can make it back for Prom.."

My heart sank at his words. I sat on the edge of the bed and he sat with me.

"You promised me." I stated.

"I know, and I'm going to try my best to make it back here. I should be able to. There's nothing I'd rather do then go to Prom with you. But it is in London, and that's quite far from here."

"As if thinking of you leaving for London isn't bad enough, now I have to face Prom on my own. Great!"

I stood up and headed for the door, opening it.

"You're not facing Prom alone, I'll make it back! I promise. No If's, And's, or But's. You and me. Prom."

"Yeah, okay."

I lead our way downstairs and sat on the couch next to Harry. He looked down at me with concern, but I focused on the tv. I breathed out heavily, and crossed my arms as Niall sat down next to me. We were watching some weird reality tv show, where everyone was really beautiful, but their problems were downright stupid. You know how it is.

"So I was texting my Mum," Lou started, "and she said that all our families are going out for one big dinner tonight to celebrate us!"

The other boys smiled, and I tried to put on my best and biggest fake smile, for the sake of them being so happy, but my petty attitude about Prom, and everything else was ruining it. Harry nudged my side and I looked up at him, to meet his sad-ridden eyes, probably at my appearance. I smiled and nuzzled his shoulder with my head, showing that I was okay. I returned my gaze back to the tv, and Niall put a comforting hand on my knee. I sighed and looked at him, while he stared at me with puppy-dog eyes. It was something that never worked on me, but I let it slide for Niall. I smiled lightly at him and took his hand, lacing our fingers together.

An hour passed of us all just watching tv, rather quietly I might add. There was an awkward, rotten feel in the room, and I don't think any of us knew what was wrong.

"You boys should head home and change for dinner. We're all going to meet at Elrose in about a half hour."

The boys nodded and muttered some 'K's before getting up and leaving the house. I stood from the couch, letting go of Niall's hand and slowly re-treated up the stairs.

"What's wrong with Lezile, Niall?" I heard his Mum ask.

I made it to the last step and turned for my room.

"It's getting hard, Mum.."

I closed the door and locked it. I swung open my closet doors and stared at the options. I was starting to think about the _other_ options I had..

***Niall's POV***

"What's hard?" Mum asked.

"Us. Now that we're through, what if it becomes too much for her? She's almost done school, then she leaves, and I don't want her to. I'm worried it's already affecting her.."

"She's proud of you, Niall! I think she knows what has to happen."

"What has to happen?"

"Everything is changing. A little too fast, but it's changing, and she knows it."

"I know that," I whispered, "but I don't think she wants it too."

She rubbed my back soothingly, "no one likes change, but I think that she's just getting nervous. Nervous of losing you to all this."

"How do I change her mind of that?"

"Show her that nothing's going to change your relationship."

I ran my hands through my hair, "I've promised her things I shouldn't have, already. I'm going to end up ruining this."

She sighed, "then follow through on your promises. Don't let it get ruined."

"What if.. things mess up, and she goes for _someone_ else? What if things fall apart?"

She bit her lip and looked back to the couches, and more importantly, to where Harry had been sitting.

"Don't let _someone_ else catch her."

***Lezile's POV***

I had changed into dark fitting pants, black sneakers, and crop top that hung loosely over my body. My hair was still straight from earlier, and I just applied concealer on my dark circles under my eyes. I grabbed my phone and put it in my purse and flung it over my shoulder. I left my room and went downstairs and waited for everyone to finish changing. Jon bounced down the stairs and sat next to me, grabbing my hand.

I looked down at his hand in mine, then into his little blue eyes, and that's when I realized that I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to leave Ireland, to go back to a life that was making me miserable. I smiled down at him and squeezed his hand. Mum came down with Dad and she was dressed in a knee-length black dress, and Dad was wearing dark dress pants with a crimson button up and a black tie. Niall came down after them, in dark blue fitting pants, with a white polo done all the way up, and a black cardigan over it with white Supras. I stood up, and Jon let go of my hand, bounding out of the house once Mum opened the door. I stocked out of the house, walking down to the car and opening the door and sliding in the back. Niall came in the other side and sat in the middle, next to me, and Jon sat next to him. It was dark out now, and the streetlights casted the worse, saddening glow. As Dad started the car and we took off down the street, I stared out the window, letting my mind to drift about a million different ways. Niall took my hand and rubbed circles on my skin, but I didn't look to him. An odd reason, but I didn't want to see his face.

We made it to the restaurant, and it was pretty fancy. Bounded by a beautiful black fence, the brick building was lit up with white lights, with the name _Elrose_ in cursive on the side. We all climbed out of the car, and followed Dad and Mum into the restaurant. We had a reservation and the Waitress took us outside to the back porch, where everyone else was waiting. Our table was huge because we had so many people, so we pretty much took up the whole porch. We gave our drink orders and told her what we'd like to eat, and we resided into hearing the story of how the boys are over-joyed about X-Factor. I was seated between Harry and Niall.

"A toast!" Louis said, rising from his seat.

Everyone raised their drinks as he continued, "to the most amazing experience we're about to have, sharing it with everyone we love, and with the four best mates _anyone_ could ever ask for. I love you all!"

Everyone clinked cups together and smiled. I clinked my cup to Niall's as he smiled sweetly at me, and I tried my best to return the gesture. I turned and did the same with Harry, who smiled wide at me, making me giggle quietly, smiling back. Everyone continued their conversations and I stayed quiet, looking around at the table of happy faces. Faces that were happy before I was here, and faces that will be happy even once I leave. The way they all interacted with one another, made me feel like I was the outcast, the loser, the unwanted. I didn't belong in this.

Niall leaned into my ear, "I'll be right back, gotta use the loo."

I smiled half-heartedly and nodded as he kissed my cheek. He got up and left the table and went inside. I bit my lip, moving my gaze over everyone else again. Liam, Louis, Zayn and Harry were all smiling and talking enthusiastically with one another and their families. That's when I realized; I was the only one upset. The only one not smiling, not laughing or basking in the boys' success. Tears pricked my eyes and I pushed my chair out behind me, trying to maneuver past Harry, but he grabbed my arm gently.

"You alrigh'?"

I nodded quickly, trying to disguise my cracking voice, "yeah, just need some air."

I tried to walk but he pulled on my arm, stopping me and leaning over the back of his chair, "we're outside."

Niall's Mum was watching us nervously, and the boys were now looking.

"Uh yeah," I wiped at my eyes and whispered, "I just need a second."

I pulled from his grasp, looking over the eyes following me, all looking very sad and worried. I walked down the few steps and past the small grass hill to the side of the restaurant, out of sight.

***Niall's MUM'S POV***

We were all having a lovely time at dinner, and it was great getting to chat with the other parents, to share our proud feelings over our sons'. The boys were all happy and smiling, cracking jokes to one another. I noticed Lezile wasn't looking very happy all evening, and it made my stomach churn. She had become like a daughter to me, because she was in my care, and I didn't know how to comfort her. Niall excused himself, and that's when her sorrow-filled eyes became wet with tears. It pained me to watch her, because it was a face that broke a _Mother's_ heart.

I tried to focus on the others' conversations, but my eyes drifted back to Lezile as she got up and tried to excuse herself. I noticed Harry hold her arm securely. I swallowed the horrifying lump in my throat as I watched the way they were looking at one another. Especially how Harry was _looking_ at her. I could feel other's looking at the scene playing out in front of us as well, especially Thomas, who held my hand under the table.

She pulled herself from Harry and walked quickly away from the rest of us. I looked around the table, and a couple of the boys exchanged nervous glances. I looked back to Harry as he rested himself back in his chair. He was staring at the table, tapping the arm of the chair. I was about to go check on Lezile, when Harry pushed his chair out abruptly and took off down the steps, after her. Everyone watched as he ran and disappeared from our view.

I looked to their two empty chairs, then to the other worried looks from the other parents. I noticed Liam's drawn out look, and Louis and Zayn's exchanged of nervous looks. I sighed heavily as I looked back to the inside of the restaurant, no sign of my son anywhere.

***Lezile's POV***

I sat against the wall of the restaurant, silently wiping my stray tears from my eyes. I breathed out a heavy, shaky breath, trying to steady myself. I could just imagine all of their faces as I left the table, and I didn't want to walk back to a table full of awkward looks as they tried to process what the hell happened. I heard footsteps and wiped at my eyes quickly, trying to prepare my face for a painful smile I'd have to fake for-

"Harry," I breathed.

He stood looking at me with sadness, his curls framing his face perfectly.

"Hi," he replied.

I swallowed hard as he sat down next to me, "do you want to explain why you scared the living hell out of me?"

"What?" I asked.

"Running off like that, and not giving me a reason."

I shook my head, "it's stupid."

"I want to know."

"Everyone's happy, but me. I just looked at all of you," I wiped at my eyes, "and knew that you were all happy. And that you were happy before I was here, and will be after I leave. I don't matter."

He scooted closer to me, leaning his head down to try and look at my face, "that's not true. You mean a lot, to all of us."

"And I'm the worst girlfriend ever!," I cried, "not happily supporting Niall, and making him feel like crap about making it onto X-Factor, while I'm emotionally two-timing with you and nearly kissing Liam!"

I looked to Harry and his face was solid, "you.. you almost kissed Liam?"

I nodded, "about a week and a half ago, in his room, I went to see him and we hugged and our faces were so close and.." I choked on a sob, "we almost kissed, but I left."

Harry was staring at the ground in front of us, "Liam," he whispered.

I nodded pitifully, "yeah, Liam."

He turned toward me, brushing his fingers against my arm, "but you didn't kiss him, that shows you're a great girlfriend."

I shook my head, "no, it doesn't! I shouldn't of been in that situation in the first place. And you..," I paused and looked into his green eyes, that were slowly knocking down my walls, "I think about you all the time, Harry. I shouldn't, but I do, and I'm back to comparing you and Niall, and I'm emotionally cheating on him, and I-I..," I began choking on my tears again.

Harry pulled me into him, pulling my head into his chest.

"I don't deserve him," I cried, gripping on Harry's waist, "and I never deserved you, and I don't deserve to have you boys as friends."

He didn't answer, he just rubbed my back and shoulders, holding me close to him. He wrapped an arm around my waist, and laced our fingers together. I rested my head on his shoulder, right in the crook of his neck. I noticed his chin move slightly, and I moved my head to see him staring down at me. I lifted my head and Harry angled his so that we were only a few inches away. I sniffled quietly as he brushed a tear from my cheek, kissing the place afterward. He lingered there and I closed my eyes, leaning into him. Once he pulled away, I opened my eyes and breathed out heavily, scooting away from him and standing up, brushing myself off. He stood up and brushed himself off too, and he grabbed my hand tightly. We began walking back to everyone else, who were most likely wondering what was going on. Once the deck was in view, I let go of Harry's hand, and began fiddling with the hem of my shirt. Harry stood behind me, placing his hand on my back gently as we walked up the steps. Everyone was staring at us, especially Niall, who, upon seeing me, stood up and rushed over to me.

"Are you alright?"

I nodded as Harry slipped past us and sat down.

"You made me so nervous, but Mum told me to stay here," he started. I glanced behind him and saw Mum look at me, giving me a small, sad smile before turning away, "if something is wrong, please tell me, okay?"

I looked back into his eyes and placed my hand on his neck, pulling him toward me for a small kiss. He hugged me tightly before letting me go and pulling out my seat for me to sit down. He took his seat next to me, scooting his chair so that we were closer than before. He took my hand and I smiled at him sadly. Everyone picked up their conversations again as they ate. I looked at the boys, Zayn and Louis gave me smiles, while Liam looked bitterly between Harry and I. He only shook his head before staring down at his food. I felt Niall's breath against my cheek as he kissed it softly. I faced him, our noses touching, before he whispered to me..

"Let me be the one you run to."

The euphoric feeling in my stomach resurfaced at the sound of his words. I cupped his cheek as I pulled him forward, kissing him, letting him now my answer to his words.

**Hello lovelies!  
>So, I loved writing this chapter, and I hope you at least LIKED reading it. : nerves.  
>AND in the next chapter, you can probably bank on me time-jumping, just to get to the good stuff, so please, don't freak... It'll most likely be 'round OR probably at Prom, so yeah.<br>I honestly appreciated EVERY review, and thanks for the answer to the previous chapter's question.  
>You can all be even more AMAZING if you review again.<br>If you want.  
>No pressure.<strong>

**But please review, CAUSE THEY MAKE ME HAPPY :D**

**Love you all! **


	16. Heart Vacancy

**Sooooo IT'S PROM TIME, LADS. Once you get to the songs in this chapter, especially during Prom, I'd honestly advise you to listen to them, it gives a better feel for the moment :) If you want! I hope you guys like it, honestly.  
>Please review, my lovely readers :$ They mean a lot to me.<br>I love you guys!  
>ALSO, I did write another story (Chapter 1) about the boys ;) I don't know if I'll post it, but if you wanna read it and give it a shot, let me know?<br>Disclaimer: I don't own One Direction, or ANY of the songs I post in the Chapters, so you know, no sueing can come of it.  
>Hope you like this!<strong>

**AAAAAAAAAND this is only the FIRST PART of the Prom part. So yes, the next chapter is going to be the SECOND PART of Prom :) just fyi.**

It'd been a few weeks since the dreadful, awkward dinner scenario. Prom was tomorrow night, and I was getting very excited. The boys were in London, having the time of their lives. They hadn't performed yet, they had been too busy finding out all their information, housing, and practising and whatnot. They'd only been there for about a week, the first performance was scheduled for next week. I had been talking to Niall quite a little bit more than the last time he left; I think because of that night at dinner, and I still hadn't told him _any_ of what I was thinking. I texted all the boys quite a bit, and talked to them on the phone, but Harry was definitely the time-filler. We texted from morning to the end of the day, whenever he was free.

I had been keeping steadily busy with all the culminating projects I had to do for school, but I was getting them all done. They were due next week, because graduation was a mere two weeks away. I was busy typing furiously on my laptop for an essay on the book we had to read for English. An awesome 8 page-essay, you know how fun those are. Mum knocked silently on the door, causing me to turn around.

"Hi," I smiled, saving my work.

She came in and stood in front of me at my desk, smiling wide.

I grinned nervously, "what?"

She handed me a piece of paper. I glanced down and smiled.

"Hair and nail appointments?" I asked, quite frankly, stunned that she would do this for me.

"Yes. They're already paid for, you just go in and get yourself pampered, tomorrow at noon."

I stood up and hugged her tightly, "thank you, _Mum_."

"You're welcome, honey."

"Will you come with me?"

"Are you sure?"

"I don't want to spend the day getting ready alone..," I laughed.

She smiled, "of course! I'll take pictures, so you'll always remember your Prom, and getting ready with your Irish Mumma."

I laughed, "I won't forget this, I promise."

She gave me one last hug before leaving my room. I just smiled like an idiot down at the piece of paper. This Prom, was going to be perfect.

My phone began ringing, and I smiled as I slide the green bar across the screen.

"Hey you!"

"Hello love!" Harry replied.

"How is everything?"

"Fantastic! Just finished another set of rehearsals, now we're all just relaxing. Yourself?"

"That's great! And writing a stupid essay, but Mum just told me she paid for hair and nail appointments tomorrow for me for Prom!"

"You don't need that stuff, you're lovely without it."

"Put the charm away, Curly," I smiled goofily.

He laughed, "I can't help it!"

I could hear Niall laughing in the background, but I also heard a higher pitched, girly laugh.

"Who's that with you boys?"

"Cher Lloyd, her and Niall are joking about something, I don't know what."

I swallowed hard. I had seen Cher on the auditions, she was beautiful, and she seemed incredibly nice.

"So.. her and Niall are close?" I asked.

"Yeah, they're the closest here, I think," he said nonchalantly.

I bit my lip, "cool."

"Niall!" Harry shouted, and I heard the laughing die down a little, "Lezile's on the phone, you want to speak to her?"

I waited patiently, and I heard whispers, followed by a 'good luck.'

"Hi love," Niall said, coughing awkwardly.

"Uh, hi."

"How are you?"

"I'm fine, Mum got me appointments for me to get ready for Prom tomorrow, so I'm kind of excited," I giggled, trying to lighten our strange, heavy mood.

"Oh yeah? That's good.."

"Yeah, it is! So when are you catching a flight back? Should be soon, yeah?"

"Niall, stop making faces!" I heard the girly voice say. _Cher_.

"Are you even listening to me?" I asked, getting pissed off.

"What? Yeah!"

"What did I just say?"

"If I was listening..," I could practically hear his smirk, and _Cher_ laughed again.

"When are you catching a flight back?" I asked, _again_.

"A flight?"

"For Prom..?"

Silence fell upon us, and a giant knot formed in my stomach.

"Lezile.."

I knew it. He wasn't coming home for Prom.

"You're not coming home, are you?"

He sighed, "it's just, paying for a flight home for Prom, then staying one night, then having to fly back again the next day. It's a lot of work and money for a dance."

I felt like I had just had the wind knocked out of me. _He_ was the one who made this seem like it would be an amazing night, for us as a couple, but now it's like he didn't give a shit. I stayed silent, because right now I was numb; numb with disappointment.

I heard Cher's laugh again, along with Louis'.

"Lezile..?" Niall asked.

I stayed silent, not knowing what to say. I ran through _dozens_ of choice phrases for him, but I couldn't bring up any energy to use them.

"Niall!" Cher shouted, and I heard her come to the phone, "still yappin' away to your girl? Mind if I say hi?"

"Actua-"

"Hello!" She practically shouted in my ear.

"Hi," I croaked.

"I'm Cher! You're Lezile, right?"

"Yeah."

"Cher, give me-" Niall tried saying, but she cut him off.

"Honestly, I've heard so much about you, mostly from Harry," she giggled, "it'd be lovely to meet you! You should come visit here."

"I'll try," I put on my best fake happy-tone, "uh, could you put Niall back on?"

"Oh, sure thing! Talk later!"

"Sorry about tha-" Niall began, but I cut him off this time, my tone getting harsh.

"She heard about me from Harry, eh? Forget to mention me?"

"I talk about you!"

"Clearly Harry talks more."

"Let's discuss why that is, shall we?" He asked harshly.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, why would he talk about you more? Let's take that theory for a ride!"

"The hell's _your_ problem! What about you and Cher getting on _so_ well, huh?"

"That's nothing to do with us!" He shouted. Silence fell upon the room there, no one making a peep.

"Yet you bring Harry up like he's got everything to do with us!"

"Practically does, doesn't he? Considering you two are inseparable."

"Oh yeah, inseparable, did you forget the space between here and London?"

"Don't get smart with me," he stated.

"Okay,_ Dad_. While you're at it, tell me everything else that I'm doing wrong, and who I shouldn't hangout with. By the way, how's Cher?"

"Don't bring her into this."

I laughed sarcastically, "but you've got no problem dragging Harry into this? Wow, that's great. Go tell her all about the fight!"

"This is crazy.."

"What's crazy is you," I said, holding back my angry tears, "and that you broke your promise you made to me."

"I shouldn't have promised."

"You really shouldn't have. I should've known you'd change your mind."

"Apologizing is useless at this point."

"First smart thing you've said tonight."

"Oh, give me a break," he sighed dramatically.

"Maybe we should."

He was silent for a few seconds, "what are you saying..?"

"I need a second to think..," I whispered, a stray tear falling on my cheek.

He whispered into the phone, "what's this suppose to mean?"

I swallowed hard and ended the call. I set my phone agonizingly slow on the nightstand and sat down on the bed. I felt my anger well up inside of me, and soon, it was too much to handle, and I collapsed, burying my face into my pillow, crying a steady flow of pissed off tears.

***Harry's POV***

The boys, Cher and I had all remained silent once Niall started yelling into the phone. I could just imagine Lezile's hurt expression, and it pained me just thinking about it. Cher sat across from me, awkwardly shifting her feet, knowing full well that Niall and Lezile were fighting about her and I.

"what are you saying..?" Niall said.

I looked up at him, his eyes scanning the floor nervously. After a few seconds, he spoke again, softly, "what's this suppose to mean?"

He pulled the phone from his ear, and turned to all of us. None of us knew exactly what to say, or if we should even say anything. He set my phone down on the table, his eyes not moving from it.

"What happened?" Liam asked.

Niall spoke slowly, sadly, "I think we're on a break."

He shoved his hands in his pockets and practically ran out of the room. Cher followed him immediately. The lads and I exchanged worried looks, none of us knowing what to do now. I got up slowly and picked up my phone. Leaving the room, I began to make my call.

***Lezile's POV***

I woke up periodically during the night, my eyes burning from all the tears I'd cried. It was 4:34am, and I could feel my eyes drooping again, making me want to sleep. I had let myself believe, through everything, that Niall's promise about Prom would be true, despite him leaving. I turned on my phone, squinting my eyes hard at the harsh light. I re-dialed the last number and held my phone to my ear. It rang only three times before going straight to voicemail.

"_Hey, it's Harry, let me know who you are and I'll get back to ya later!_"

"Hi Harry, I just phoned hoping, I don't know, that you'd be up.. It's officially Prom today, and uh.. I'll phone you later. Love you, bye."

I ended the call, setting my phone back down on the nightstand. I stared at the ceiling, thinking of how awkward it was going to be, facing Prom alone. Sitting at a table, in a dress, make-up and hair all done up, and no one to share it with. I was pissed off at Niall, and this break is exactly what had to happen. Close to three months, I'd say I've done pretty well, but now I wasn't so sure about this. I pressed my lips tightly together, feeling fresh tears prick my eyes. I had no idea how I had any water left in my body, but I did. I sighed as I rolled over on the bed, crying into my pillow once more.

***Next Morning***

I woke up at 11, feeling exhausted, but I pulled my tired arse out of bed and pulled on some tan pants, white t-shirt and my red sweater over myself. I put my hair up in a ponytail. No point in doing it myself, I was having people take care of that. I pulled on my shoes and grabbed my purse, flinging it carelessly over my shoulder. I went downstairs to the kitchen, putting on my best fake smile in front of Mum.

"Excited for tonight?" She asked, putting a plate of toast in front of me. I nodded, eating quietly.

"Well, once you finish eating, we'll go get you all pampered," she smiled, and I could see the excitement in her eyes.

"Okay," I breathed, trying to smile back. You ever cry so hard that the next day, your face hurts _so_ much, and every emotion you show is like being slapped repeatedly? Yes, that was me today, of all days. I finished eating and we got in the car, heading downtown. It was quite a small little salon, but I noticed that there were quite a few girls already in there getting their hair and nails done. I swallowed nervously, because all these girls were beautiful, and wearing shorts and tanks, all skinny and confident. And here I was; Tomboy dejour.

We walked up to the lady behind a small black desk, "appointment?"

"Yes, under Horan," Mum said.

"Oh my goodness, are you Niall Horan's Mum? Can't believe he made it onto the X-Factor!" She jeered happily.

Mum nodded proudly, "yes, he's my son," she put her arm around my shoulder, "and this is his lovely girlfriend, Lezile."

I grinned nervously, feeling knots form in my stomach. I didn't have the heart to tell her that her statement wasn't exactly true at the moment.

"Oh, how sweet! You'll be getting your nails done by Jen first," she smiled.

She motioned for us to go sit in the back at a table, and soon a slender, older looking woman came up and sat down, and began cleaning my nails. We made absent chatter, nothing too serious. I told her about my dress, and she painted my nails a dark purple, adding a side strip of sparkles onto them. I wasn't usually one for glitter, but I liked them. Once she finished, I thanked her and was shown to a styling chair, where a different woman came to me and began touching up my hair. She straightened it first, then began framing hair around my face. She trimmed it and fixed my bangs, before smiling down at me.

"I think you'd look incredibly lovely with some waves in your hair. How does that sound?"

"Oh, uh, I've never done that, but if you think it'll look alright, then sure."

I was nervous. I never curled my hair, or changed it in any way. She lightly curled my hair, leaving it in loose waves. After another hour, she was all finished. My hair looked actually pretty good. I smiled in the mirror, happy with how I looked.

"Do you like?" She asked.

I nodded, "yes, I love it."

"You're going to knock your date off his feet," she smiled, taking off the black sheet off of me.

"Yeah," I breathed, "I think it will."

I stood up and she began sweeping the floor, "well have a lovely time tonight!"

"Thank you so much."

We left and on the drive home, Mum kept telling me how beautiful I looked.

"Did Niall tell you when he was coming home?" She asked.

I stuttered, "uh, he said he's going to meet me at Prom.."

"Oh, I was hoping to get pictures," she said sadly.

"We'll take lots of pictures at Prom, I promise. I think there's going to be a professional photographer, too."

She nodded her head, "make sure you get copies."

I kept looking out the window, and once we got home, I headed straight up to my room. I put my headphones in and turned on my ipod. I played How We Do by Rita Ora. I needed a pump up song to get myself in the mood to face Prom alone. I danced around my room as I laid my dress and shoes out on my bed. While dancing, I was definitely careful not to sweat or screw up my hair, or else I'd be pissed. I went on my facebook and replied to a couple notifications and messages, mainly from my Mom. I wasn't too popular back home, like here, and it shows that some things never change. I told my Mom that I was okay and that I was going to Prom tonight. No doubt she was going to be expecting pictures as well. Can't wait for when I get to show everyone how I went Stag at Prom. Prom started at 5, and it was now a little past 4, and my nerves were going crazy. I took off my regular clothes and changed into my dress. I slipped my heels on, and sat on my bed, twirling the heel around in a circle on the floor. I listened to my music for a few more minutes before I got up and walked to my mirror. I put on concealer under my eyes to hide the disgusting dark circles from my rough night. I put on my usual mascara, and put my stuff away. Even though it was Prom, I wasn't going to go over-board with my makeup. I was going to keep it simple, me.

"Lezile, honey! Time to go!"

I pulled out my headphones and set my ipod down on my dresser. I picked up my phone and my small camera and put it and $40 in cash in the clutch that I had bought. I left my room and walked down the stairs, my stomach churning in a way that made me sick. Mum, Dad and Jon all smiled at me as Mum was getting her camera out. She took pictures of me standing by myself, then one of me with Dad, then with Jon and Dad, and the last one was of me giving Jon a hug from behind, huge smiles plastered on our faces. Dad then took pictures of me and Mum.

"I'm always going to remember sending my _daughter_ off to Prom," she smiled happily.

"Oh bloody hell, don't cry!" Jon said.

"Jon!" Dad yelled.

I just laughed as Mum and I left the house, and got in the car. It was a little past 5 now as we made our way to the venue. When we got there 15 minutes later, I felt as if I was going to puke. The building was beautiful grey brick, and the outside was surrounded by a white fence, with a grassy area to the side. There were brick stone steps in that area that led up to a gazebo where people were taking pictures.

"Have fun tonight, and remember to get lots of pictures of you and Niall," Mum smiled, putting a reassuring hand on mine. I nodded meekly, stepping outside and closing the door. I watched as she drove off, and I felt as if I was going to faint. I wanted nothing more than to leave and go home, put on sweats and just fall asleep and pretend the past two days had never happened.

There were group pictures of all us senior students, and I was pulled in by a very happy girl. I smiled at the camera, and once the shots were done, the pictures of couples began. I couldn't help but think of what it would have been like to have Niall here, or any of the boys with me, taking pictures. Once people's pictures were done, some of them went inside to sit down and dance. I followed in and sat down at a back table, amidst a few other people. I sat at the end, keeping away from them, because who knows if they would have bit my head off or not.

"Alright, dinner will start a little later, so everyone just dance and have an amazing Prom!"

Everyone cheered, and began dancing. I sat like a giant, upset loner, twiddling my thumbs around. I took out my phone and saw that I didn't have _any_ messages. No missed calls, no texts, no voicemails. I put it back as the music began to slow, cranking out Heart Vacancy by The Wanted. I loved this song. I swayed my head to the beat and watched the happy couples slow dance out on the floor. They were smiling and laughing cutely to one another. I'd honestly never been to a dance before, so this made it much more awkward, but I wonder what it felt like to have a dance with someone who means so much for you.

I began singing lightly to myself, and I heard girls becoming very chatty out in the foyer.

"He's home!" One of the girls shouted.

"Did you see him on X-Factor? So gorgeous!" Another girl said.

I turned my head toward the door, my stomach clenching tighter with nerves. I heard a few girls talking at he same time as they bunched in the foyer. I got up slowly and walked cautiously past the wall, to the opening of the entry-way. I saw the girls, literally swooning ,but they were soon moved aside. My heart nearly stopped as I took in his appearance. Grey suit with a grey vest, with a white dress shirt and a bow-tie. He just stared at me, and the girls looked between us both. I didn't know what to think, or even how to move, as I stood there, trying not to cry from my sheer happiness and shock. He stepped toward me slowly and I breathed out shakily as he took my hand.

"I wasn't going to leave you alone on Prom," he whispered.

I wrapped my arms around him tightly, pulling him so close to me. He held my waist, possibly tighter than we've ever hugged before. I buried my face against his shoulder.

"Harry," I whispered. I didn't even know what to say. I couldn't even fathom that he was here. He let go of me and took my hand, leading me out into the crowd of people and pulled me close to him by my waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck, taking in his appearance. His curls were swept across his face perfectly. I looked past his shoulders and saw the same girls staring at us. Harry's arms tightened around my waist as he leaned his head down to rest it in the crook of my neck. I rested my head against his shoulder, holding him close.

_I hear your heart, cry for love,  
>And you act like there's no room, room for me,<br>or anyone,  
>Don't disturb is all I see,<br>Close the door, turn the key,  
>On everything that we could be..<br>_

We swayed slowly to the song, and I savored every moment of this. I ran my hand along Harry's neck, playing with a loose curl. He lifted his head and rested his forehead on mine, eyes closed.

_This ain't the heart-break hotel,  
>even though I know it well,<br>those no-shows,  
>they sure tell,<br>in the way you hold yourself.._

I just looked at him, and smiled at how amazing he is. Travelling from London randomly, so that I wouldn't be alone on Prom. I stroked his cheek and his eyes fluttered open, locking with mine.

"Thank you," I whispered.

He smiled his heart-melting smile and whispered back, "you're beautiful."

I blushed and pulled him close, resting my chin on his shoulder as we danced close for the remaining few seconds of the song. Once it ended, an upbeat tempo began blaring through the speakers. Harry took my hand and led us outside, passing the girls who continued to stare at him. We walked through the gate, and saw people still getting their pictures taken.

"Anyone else!" The photographer yelled.

Harry grinned at me and pulled me up the stone steps to the white gazebo. I could hear the girls outside muttering about Harry and X-Factor and no doubt giving me dirty looks. As Harry put his arm around my waist, the photographer told us to smile. We took a couple normal ones, but then Harry put both hands on my waist, turning me toward him. He smiled down at me and I returned it as the photographer snapped pictures. I could tell right now that these pictures were going to depict us as a loving couple, and honestly, the thought made me smile. We stepped down from the gazebo as other people made their way after us. We sat down on a stone bench.

"I can't believe you're here," I said, smiling.

He held my hands in his, "I couldn't bare to leave you alone, not after yesterday.."

I nodded sadly, thinking of my conversation with Niall yesterday.

"Right now, I honestly don't care. I'm so happy _you_ were the one to come to Prom."

He smiled, showing his adorable dimples, "I'm glad you're happy. So, this 'break' between you and Niall.. it's for real?"

I nodded lazily, "yeah, I think it's for the best. Besides, I have a feeling he's more than friends with Cher," I smirked, "doesn't matter, because I've got you, Harry."

He looked at me with sad-ridden eyes, "you know, when you and I were dating, I thought about us going to Prom together."

I grinned, "funny how things work out."

"Hilarious," he replied, but continued, "but when you saw it was me instead of Niall here.. how'd you feel?"

I took no hesitation in answering, "incredibly happy. Honestly, I was glad, and when I heard the girls mention X-Factor, I secretly hoped it was you who had shown up."

"Seriously?"

I scooted closer to him, and he did the same. I squeezed his hands reassuringly, "seriously."

He lifted his hand to my cheek and I leaned into his touch, "you're stunning. That's what I thought when I saw you."

I looked up into his eyes, and they showed such raw emotion, and I smiled at his sincerity. I looked to his lips, then back to his eyes. He must have noticed because he cupped my cheek and pulled me closer to him, leaning in as well. I smiled lightly as our noses touched, feeling the familiar sensation of Harry's proximity. Our breathing mixed as our lips connected, sending a familiar shock throughout my body. Our lips worked in unison sweetly, causing me to smile into the kiss and I could feel Harry mimicking me. When he pulled away, I felt an absence that I hadn't felt since the first time we kissed in the back of Mulligan's bar. We just sat there, close, holding each other's hands, smiling. It was amazing just how happy I was, when yesterday I was so upset. People could call this a rebound, but to me it wasn't, because Harry was, and will stay, first.

**Leave a review, yeah?**


	17. I Love You This Big

Dinner at Prom had been alright, nothing too fancy and over-the-top. Once everyone had finished dinner, they had began showing a slide-show of memories from the year. I saw numerous pictures of the boys, and a lot of familiar classmates, none of whom I had really taken the time to get to know. Harry was holding my hand, rubbing soft circles on my skin. A picture of me and the boys had been shown on the screen and I smiled wide, giggling to myself. Harry, Liam, Zayn and Niall were sitting on the picnic table and I had been on Louis' back, hugging him tight around his neck.

"Lou misses you like crazy," Harry told me.

"Good, I miss that crazy bugger too," I replied, giggling.

They had began showing pictures of everyone at Prom, the professional ones that were taken outside. Everyone awe'd and clapped for all the pictures of the couples that were taken. I smiled when I saw the actual couples hug one another, or the boys would pull their girlfriend's closer to them when their pictures came up. Harry hugged me close from the side as everyone awe'd and clapped again. I looked to the projection and saw a picture of Harry and I. It had been of us kissing on the stone bench outside. I blushed crimson as I realized that the photographer was a sneaky lad. The slideshow finished a few minutes later, and everyone stood up, helping push a few of the tables aside to make room for a bigger dance floor as the DJ cranked up the music. It was now a little past 9 o'clock, and getting dark outside, but it was lit up outside with white lights.

"Wanna take a walk?" He asked.

I nodded and he ushered me out as everyone piled onto the already crowded dance floor. There were people outside, enjoying the soft breeze, talking to one another. Harry and I walked on the side of the property, next to the tree line.

"Is Prom everything you expected?"

I took a second to think of how to answer, already re-living what had happened tonight. I reached for his hand nervously, and touching my fingertips lightly to his hand, he laced our fingers together.

"Yes, it is. It's way better," I smiled up at him.

"I'm happy about that."

I pulled my hand away from his and stopped walking. He looked confused for a second, but I opened my clutch and pulled out my camera. He smiled once he saw what I was doing. I turned it on and held it in front of me.

"Smile, Curly," I laughed.

He smiled wide, posing with his hands on his hips in a _very_ girly way. I laughed as I took the picture.

"Your turn," he grinned, taking the camera from me. He held it in front of him, as I posed as if I was blowing him a kiss. He smiled and took the picture.

"Very cute."

I took the camera from him, turning around and taking a picture of the building of our Prom. I felt Harry's arms go around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder. I turned the camera around and smiled, capturing our moment. I turned my body, leaning into him to capture our lips in a kiss, taking another picture. We continued kissing even after I took the picture. I didn't want to leave his embrace. I hugged him tightly around his neck and he buried his face into the crook of my neck.

"What do you want to do after?" He whispered.

I shrugged, "I don't really want to go to any parties."

"Will spending time with me be alright..?"

I pulled back a little to look into his eyes, "it'll be great," I smiled.

He smiled and picked me up, spinning me around a couple of times before setting me down.

"Alright, we're about to slow it down after this song! Couples, get on the floor!" I heard from the building.

"Let's go," I grabbed his hand and dragged him along. I put my camera back in my clutch and set it on our table once we got inside. The opening chords of a Country song I knew from home began playing. I Love You This Big by Scotty McCreery.

_I know I'm still young,  
>But I know how I feel,<br>I might not have too much experience,  
>But I know when love is real..<em>

Harry held me close, leaving no space at all in-between our bodies. I held onto him tightly as we swayed to the music, amidst all the other couples; but all I saw was him.

_By the way my heart starts pounding,  
>when I look into your eyes,<br>I might look a little silly,  
>standing with my arms stretched open wide,<br>I love you this big.._

He began softly singing along to the song in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I smiled against his shoulder as his voice beautifully sang out the lyrics.

_Cause girl you do something to me,  
>deep down in my heart,<br>I know I look a little crazy,  
>Standing with my arms stretched all apart,<br>I love you this big.._

We continued swaying to the song, and I didn't let go of Harry once. It felt odd, but amazing, being back in his arms again. Again, I felt as if I didn't deserve to be cared for by any one of them. I felt his lips make contact to my neck gently, making me weak in the knees. He began making tickling bites with his teeth, making me giggle. I could feel him smile against my skin as he realized the effect he had on me. I tried to lean away from him, but he just held me tight and pulled me back to him. The photographer had been going around and taking pictures of all the couples, and I saw the flash, the picture being taken of us when I was laughing, trying to pull away from Harry.

Once the song ended, a faster song came on, and Harry and I continued dancing. We jumped around like complete fools, fist-pumped, and danced close just like that night so long ago at the bar.

A couple hours passed by, and we continued dancing, talking, and just having an amazing time. We took so many pictures on my camera, because I did _not_ want to forget this. Especially when I leave for home in a couple weeks... I was going to rely on these pictures. We were sitting down, laughing at the people dancing so horribly out on the floor.

"Do you wanna leave?" He asked.

I nodded. I had experience Prom, and now, I was ready to go home, wherever that was. I picked up my clutch and held Harry's hand as he led us out of the building and toward his Mum's car. We climbed into the car and he started it up, pulling out and driving away from Prom. 20 minutes later, we were at Harry's house. He parked the car and we got out. He waited for me at the front of the car, holding his hand out for me to take. I happily took his hand as he led us up the steps and into his house.

"Harry, baby, are you home?" I heard his Mum call.

"Yes, Mum."

She appeared from the living room and stopped short once she saw me. She smiled at us, "wow, Lezile, you look beautiful!"

I blushed, "thank you."

"How was it?"

"Amazing," I replied, gripping our enclosed hands with my free hand. His Mum caught my action and smiled at our intertwined hands.

"We're going to go change," Harry told her, pulling me upstairs and into his room. I sat on his bed as he rummaged through his door, pulling out clothes. He handed me a white t-shirt and a pair of black boxers. I smirked as I took them from him. He left to change in the washroom, and I quickly got changed, laying my dress across his desk chair, placing my shoes next to it. I climbed onto his bed, crossing my legs and getting comfy. I pulled out my camera from my bag and looked at all the pictures I had taken. They were 99% Harry and I, and I was definitely okay with that. He came back in and closed his door, climbing on the bed, sitting behind me and wrapping his arms around me. I settled against him, holding the camera up so he could see the pictures too.

"That one.. that's my favorite," he whispered in my ear. I smiled at what he said, because it was the picture I took of us with Harry wrapping his arms around me, his chin resting on my shoulder.

"I know, mine too."

He kissed my neck, "you know you're going to have to make me copies of these."

I giggled, "you want to remember this, eh?"

He pulled me closer to him, leaning his head against mine, "yes."

I turned off my camera and put it on the nightstand before turning my body, completely readjusting so that Harry and I were laying facing one another. He brushed my hair away from my face.

"This is the happiest I've been in a few months," he admitted.

"You didn't seem upset?" I questioned.

"I don't like to show it."

I moved closer and cuddled myself next to his body, our legs entangling together. I just smiled at him, suddenly becoming overwhelmed with happy emotions toward him. He smirked confusingly.

"What?" he asked.

"I don't know why I didn't see you."

He smiled, "it's okay."

I shook my head, "it's not, but now.. it is."

I stroked his cheek and pulled him close, connecting our lips. He held my waist, keeping us together. It wasn't a hasty, lust-filled kiss that was going to lead to anything. It was sweet, and reassuring, that maybe this is where I was meant to be all along; in Harry's arms. Part of me was confused about Niall, because we were together for nearly three months, but most of me was happy because of where I was now.

After what felt like a million, amazing years, we pulled away. I pushed myself closer to his body as he held me to him. I closed my eyes and breathed in his familiar scent, sending goose-bumps along my skin. I realized that for the first time in a little while, I had become comfortable.

***Next Day***

Harry and I had awoken that morning to a delicious smell of pancakes and French toast that his Mum had made us. We regaled her with how Prom went, and after, we headed downtown. I was dressed in a pair of Harry's sweats and a sweater and a pair of his sister's shoes she never wore. I thought I looked like crap, but Harry assured me that I looked 'beautiful.' A few people had actually stopped Harry and asked for autographs and pictures. Surprising, because they hadn't even done their first performance yet. It was sweet though that everyone supported them. After the pictures were done, Harry took me into a photo centre. We had given the man behind the counter the cards with all the pictures on them and asked him to print them all out. The school had emailed me the pictures from Prom and I saved the ones of Harry and I, and had given them to the man to be printed as well.

Like I said, I needed to remember my time here, which meant printing off every single picture.

We walked downtown while the pictures were being printed. We just talked and went into the shops to kill time. We walked into a clothes shop and immediately I went on the hunt. I stood in front of a mirror and held up a blue and white stripped shirt. Very-saloresque. Very Louis..

"Lou will kill you if you wear stripes," Harry told me.

I put it back on the rack and kept looking through the clothes, "nah, we'd be matching, and he'd love that."

He grinned and walked over to me, placing his hands on my waist. His phoned beeped, but he didn't look at it.

"You gonna see who it is?" I asked, eyeing more clothes.

His hands shifted nervously on my waist, "probably just my Mum."

I nodded as I turned away from the clothes. It had been about an hour and so we walked back. Despite my pleas, Harry paid for the pictures. We exited the building and walked back to the car, flipping through the pictures.

"I love these!" I laughed, looking at some silly pictures I had taken of Harry.

"I look awesome," he jeered.

I laughed even harder, "oooh yeah, Haz!"

He tickled my waist, causing me to jump. We made it back to the car and we climbed in, heading back to his house. Once there, we went up to his house and divided up the pictures, each of us having copies.

"I'm gonna go to the washroom," I told him.

"Kay!"

I needed a minute to myself.

***Harry's POV***

Once I heard the bathroom door shut, I pulled out my phone quickly, revealing _numerous_ amounts of missed texts and calls. All from the boys.

From Liam:

_Where the bloody hell are you! Simon won't tell us what the hell's happened to you! PHONE ME._

_Harry... phone me, please. We're all freaking out. Lou especially._

_Okay, we're all starting to think you died, you're worrying us! PLZ phone!_

From Louis:

_Oi, mate, I know where you went. I'm not stupid. Don't worry, I won't tell Niall.. but you've got details to tell me when you get back ;)_

I swallowed hard at Louis' text.

From Zayn:

_You're freaking me out, call us as soon as you can._

And last... there was Niall's.

_I need to talk to you._

Part of me knew that Niall had somehow found about where I had gone to.. Not from Louis though. Lezile had been in the bathroom for more than a few minutes, so I went to check on her. I knocked on the door, only to have her open it slowly. I stepped in and closed it, to see her sitting on the bathroom counter.

"Why are you just sitting in here?" I asked. I stood in front of her, between her legs, resting my hands o either side of her.

She shrugged, "I don't know, just felt like it."

"Are you alright?"

She nodded simply, "yeah. Yeah, course I am."

I looked at her deep into her eyes, and she sighed, "no, I'm not. I've complicated everything, and now I just can't wait to leave for home."

"Whoa, what does that mean?"

"I was with you, then Niall for 3 months, and now what? Back to you? You two are in a band together, and here I've come and messed it all up. In a couple weeks I leave, and then it'll all be back to normal."

She hung her head and played with the bottom of her shirt. It made me mad to know that she was thinking all of this.

"I'm not pressuring you to be with me."

"No, I know, it's just.. I want to, but I can't do anything now because I've already messed it up, and I can't take any of it back. Whatever I do, someone's getting hurt."

"Including yourself, did you forget that? Forget about everyone and everything that's gone wrong, and just think about what you want."

"Is it wrong if I said you?"

I smiled at her, "only if it's selfish that I'm happy it's me."

That caused her to laugh, and she hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her, giving her gentle kisses on her neck. I was praying to God that everything would work out.

***Lezile's POV***

I pulled Harry's face upto mine, connecting our lips. The kiss turned heating, passionate, sending shivers down my spine. I could tell he was stifling his moans as his hands held on desperately to the sides of my thighs. My hands ran through his curls, pulling him closer to me. He stepped right up against the counter and pulled my legs to wrap around his waist. He kissed me harder, more feverishly, holding my body to his. His hands traced to the bottom of my shirt, holding my bare waist. I flinched at his touch, and as he moved his hands upward, our breathing became ragged. I moved my hands to his waist, moving his shirt up slowly, as he was doing to me. He pulled away, looking at me with lust-filled eyes. I slid down from the counter, standing in front of him, my hands gripping the bottom of his shirt. He raised his arms above his head, signaling for me to go ahead. I lifted his shirt above his head and he took it off, giving me time to _admire_ his toned body. His shirt was tossed on the floor and his hands moved to my shirt.

"If you're okay with this.."

I nodded and raised my arms up as he slowly lifted my shirt over my head. I became self-conscious, wrapping my arms around my stomach. Harry let my shirt fall to the floor and he un-wrapped my arms, replacing them with his. His lips met mine once more in an urgent, breath-taking kiss. It continued on for what felt like forever, when a knock emanating from the door nearly caused me to have a heart-attack. I held on tightly to Harry, as he did to me.

"Harry, you in there?"

It was his Mum.

He looked to me nervously, stumbling on his word, "uh,y-yeah, Mum!"

"What are you doing in there?"

The door knob began rattling and I quickly jumped into the shower, sliding the glass door closed and the curtain across, hiding myself. I looked down at my half-clothed body, silently cursing. I heard the door open and my heart pounded hard against my chest.

***Harry's POV***

The door opened, and I just stood there stupidly, half naked, staring at my Mum.

"You've been in here for nearly half an hour, what are you doing?"

"Uh, I was gonna take a shower."

"Water's not even running.."

I looked back to the shower, then to my Mum.

"Yeah, I was uh, _thinking_ about taking a shower. Didn't know if I really needed one."

She just stood there, eyeing me, a smirk playing on her features.

"I think you do, why don't you turn it on?"

"Turn it on.."

"Yes, turn it on."

I looked back to the shower again before timidly opening the door just a little and reaching in, turning it on. I adjusted the shower head so that it beat straight down, careful not to get Lezile soaked. I closed the shower door and saw my Mum holding a towel. She looked down at the floor, at the _two_ shirts. I bit my lip nervously and met her gaze. She shook her head and handed me the towel.

"Make sure she gets dried off," she told me, giving me the 'we're going to talk about this later' look, closing the bathroom door behind her.

I dropped the towel and quickly turned off the shower, seeing Lezile balancing herself on the arm rests of the tub. I laughed aloud and so did she. I grabbed her by her waist and lifted her out of the tub. She was still giggling.

"I'm so embarrassed, that was awful!" she said through her tears from laughter.

She wiped her eyes and sighed, taking a breath.

"It's probably a good thing Mum came in when she did," I told her.

She pulled my sweater back over her head, and fixed her hair, "why's that?"

"Because I may have wanted this to go further.. you and I."

I saw her blush and she opened the door, "you're not the only one, Styles."

She left me in the bathroom, a small smile playing on my lips. I picked up my shirt and left the bathroom, following my girl back into my room, closing and locking the door.

"I


	18. Oh My Goodness

***Harry's POV***

Lezile and I had hung out for a little while longer, but I had driven her home after dinner. I walked her up to her door, hand in hand. We stopped at the door and she smiled up at me.

"I have to leave tomorrow to go back to the boys."

Her smile faltered but she nodded, "yeah, I figured. I'm just happy you came for Prom."

"I wouldn't of missed it. Couldn't leave a beautiful girl like you all alone."

She giggled shyly, "uh, I'll give you your clothes back tomorrow before you leave."

I shook my head, "it's okay, you keep them."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, you look good in them," I smirked.

She shook her head playfully, and put her arms around my neck. I held her close by her waist and leaned down, pushing our lips together. She responded back instantly, playing with the back of my hair. We pulled apart before we got too carried away. I stroked her cheek and she leaned into my touch.

"You leave tomorrow," she started, "and I leave next week.."

I sighed, "I know, but we'll see each other."

"Not before I leave," she corrected.

I didn't know what to tell her. She was right, we weren't going to see each other, and for god knows how long. With the X-Factor going on, for however long our arses weren't kicked off... and her leaving back to Canada, forever.

"Hey.. we'll text, and email, and Skype or whatever."

I held her close to me, feeling her bury her face into my neck, "we'll be together, even though we're apart. I promise."

I felt her tense in my arms. She looked up at me with sad eyes, "don't tell me a promise you can't keep. I've already had a few broken."

"I'm not going to break my promise to you. I want to be with you, and I'm not gonna let a few miles take you away from me."

"I want to be with you, too," she whispered happily.

I kissed her one more time, before letting her walk into the house, disappearing from my site.

***Lezile's POV***

I went into the house, feeling like I was on Cloud 9. I took off my shoes and placed them next to the door, careful to remember to take them to Harry tomorrow.

"Why is Harry here?"

I turned and saw Mum standing nervously at the entrance of the kitchen.

"Harry?" I asked cautiously.

"I heard voices, and I looked outside and saw you.. and him, _together_."

I swallowed nervously. Here came the conversation I was so desperately hoping to avoid.

"He's here because he took me to Prom."

"Where's Niall?" She asked aggressively.

I sighed sarcastically, "your _son_, is in London. He broke his promise, and now we're broken up."

I tried to walk past her and up the stairs, but her stuttered words stopped me.

"Wha-wait a second! You're.. broken up?"

"Yes, he's probably with Cher now and I'm happy where I am. I'm leaving next week, so let's not make a big deal out of this."

"It is a hug deal! Together for three months and now just.. over? Just like that?"

"Yes, just like that!"

I had officially exploded with emotion, just laying them all out.

"When Niall told me that it was pointless to come back here for Prom and not worth it, it shows that I'm not worth anything to him. Harry flew here without me asking him, and he tells me I'm beautiful, and I know that I mean something to him. I don't have to question anything with him, and it's _easy_."

"Is that what you're looking for? Easy? Love is not meant to be easy!"

"Love? Who said anything about Love?"

"People in love.. do things and say things they don't mean! It makes them act crazy with emotion."

"Oh, so Niall _not_ caring is showing that he loves me?"

"Maybe," she replied weakly.

"So then Harry flying here for _me_ when he's got X-Factor going on, is a crazy act, and you said it, love makes people do _crazy_ things."

"Are you saying Harry loves you?"

"Doubtful, I'm just proving your theory wrong."

"I know Niall cares for you, he truly does, you just have to give him a chance!"

"Oh, I gave him a chance. A three month chance! I basically threw Harry away the first time because of Niall, and now there's no reason for me not to be with him!"

"What abo-"

"Okay, stop!" I shouted, stunning her, "if it's meant to be with Niall, then I guess fate will somehow drag us back together, but right now with Harry, I feel comfortable. I feel like I'm _home_. I've been given a second chance with him and I have no intentions of throwing it away for the second time."

"So you're together?"

"Yes, but we haven't talked about it seriously."

"Wait, you haven't defined anything?"

"Not yet." I replied irritated.

"Don't you think you should?" She pressed.

I took a second to think on how to answer her, "we're un-definable."

I smirked triumphantly and turned away from her, and made my way up to my room, for the time being, closing the door. I opened up one of my suitcases and piled a few sets of clothes in there and some other things that I knew I wouldn't be using for the next week. I opened my clutch and pulled out the big stack of pictures that we had printed out. I smiled and bit my lip, lying on my bed and opening the paper package. I flipped through all the pictures and grinned like a fool.

My phone began ringing and I reached in, keeping my eyes on the pictures. I pulled it out of the small purse and held it in front of me, my smile instantly disappearing.

_Incoming Call from Niall Horan_.

***Harry's POV***

I was sitting in the living room with my Mum, having her stare at me with a smoldering look.

"You know what we need to talk about," she told me.

I nodded boredly.

"What were you thinking?" She sighed.

I looked at her straight in the eyes, "that her and I are better than her and Niall."

"She and Niall _just _broke up.."

"I'm not a rebound Mum. I was first anyways."

"Are you two together?"

"Not _officially_, but yes. But no. Yes, but no."

She nodded confusingly, taking a second to think about what I just said.

"She's leaving next week back to Canada, and I don't know what I'm going to do. I have X-Factor to focus on, but it kills me that she's going to leave and I won't be able to say good-bye."

"You'll have to make tomorrow's good-bye a good one then. Is she seeing you off?"

"Yeah, she is."

We stayed silent for a few minutes before she ran a hand through her hair.

"This is a little bit of a mess," she whispered, "you should have never gotten involved with her."

My head snapped to her, "_what_?"

"If you wouldn't have started anything with her, at all, then we wouldn't be sitting here having this conversation about you and her, _and_ Niall."

"Niall's out of the picture now."

"Is he? Where is he? In London, with your guys' band, and where are you? At home, with his ex-girlfriend. Come on honey."

"I can't explain this, but I need to be with her. No one seems to understand."

"You're right, none of us do understand! We saw it that night at dinner when you went after her. I could see it in your eyes."

"See what?"

She shook her head at me slowly and sighed, "I don't want her distracting you from your dreams."

"She is a part of my dreams, Mum!"

"Honey, you're 18, you don't know what you want."

"I know I want her, and I'm not giving up on that, and neither is she."

"Are you going to tell Niall?"

I thought about it for a second, "it's none of his business."

"Harry.."

"No, Mum. I'm done playing it safe," I stood up, "I want to be with her, and nothing is going to stand in the way of that."

***Lezile's POV***

I paced my room, watching my phone occasionally light up on my bed. I bit my nails, keeping my eyes on my phone as I walked back and forth in front of my bed. Niall had phoned twice.. and I hadn't picked up on either time. I'd gotten texts from him, but hadn't checked them. I didn't know what I wanted to see on those.

"Voicemail received," my phone's automated tone said.

"Shit," I groaned nervously.

What was I hoping to see on those messages, or hear on the voicemail? I don't know if it'd do me any good to hear his voice, because I may crumble at his words. I picked up my phone and dialed my voicemail.

"To hear your new message, press 1."

I hesitantly pressed the number one, slowly putting the phone back to my ear. My heart pounded hard against my chest, making it hard to breathe. The excitement and nerves were killing me, and I heard my heartbeat in my ear. The thump in my throat was strangling me, and my mouth became dry.

"_I know you don't want to hear from me, but none of us have heard from Harry in two days, and Simon won't tell us where he is. I know you two are... close. If you know where he is, please phone me.._"

The churning in my stomach lifted and a lightweight feeling came over me. Nothing. Just curiosity over Harry. I put my phone down and laughed to myself. I had gotten all worked up about nothing.

***Niall's POV***

I don't know why I was phoning her. I missed her. I had no right to after what I did... but I couldn't control my feelings. They were there and sure as hell weren't going away. My gut twisted with guilt and nerves as the phone rang. It went to her voicemail. I hung up. What was I going to say? That I missed her? That we belong together? That I'm an idiot? On any regular girl these stupid cliché lines would work, but not on her. I knew they wouldn't. I figured she had been talking to Harry, considering they're _so_ close, but I hadn't heard anything from him. I was sitting in our room at the X-Factor house, flipping my phone around in my hand.

I decided texting her was a better idea.

_I tried phoning you, but I guess u're busy. If you hear from Harry, let me know plz._

I paced my room for nearly 20 minutes, and without a reply, I phoned her again. My heart was beating a thousand times faster than the normal pace, but I held myself together. I wanted nothing more than for my guilt to lift, but I knew it wasn't going anywhere, and now thanks to my unknown slip-up, nothing was going anywhere with Lezile ever again..

"_Hey, this is Lezile, sorry I missed ya, leave your name and number pleaaaase!"_

I cleared my throat before the beep signaled for me to start speaking.

"I know you don't want to hear from me, but none of us have heard from Harry in two days, and Simon won't tell us where he is. I know you two are... close. If you know where he is, please phone me.."

I hung up and felt stupid. I should have told her, but I couldn't voice the words, the regret, the _mistake_. So I went and spoke about Harry... Jesus.

I groaned and let out an angered yell as I grabbed at my hair. A knock came from the other side of the door, and opening it up slowly, stood Cher.

"You alright?" She asked.

I sighed and threw my phone on the bed behind me, resting my head in my hands. The door closed and I felt the bed shift a little under her weight as she sat down. Her arms went around my shoulders, rubbing them.

"It'll be alright," she whispered, "I'm here for you."

I internally groaned at her words. I felt her kiss my shoulder, my stomach flipping. She began slowly rubbing my arms, but soon letting them drop to my sides. I felt her kiss my neck softly and I shivered at the contact. I turned my head in my hands to look at her, and she stared right back. This is how I screwed everything up in the first place, and I tried to fight the urge to screw it up again..

***Lezile's POV***

I had texted Harry asking him to come over once he finished packing, and he did. We were up in my room, watching movies on my laptop. Everything was simple and fun, the way I knew it was meant to be.

We were watching my favorite movie, Joy Ride. A scary-ish movie, more of a thriller, but good god, Paul Walker, what a babe. We were _half_ watching the movie, because Harry kept kissing my neck every few minutes or tickling me so that I'd pay attention to him.

"Will you stop!" I giggled as he pushed his head into the side of my neck.

He groaned, "watch _me_ instead of the movie."

I laughed, "what does that even mean?"

He pulled me into him by my waist, laughing, "I don't know, just pay attention to me!"

I sat in front of him, crossed legged, mimicking him.

"Okay, now you have my un-divided attention, so what?" I smirked.

He placed his hands on my knees and leaned in so that our breathing mixed.

"You tell me," he whispered cockily.

I smiled and closed the space between us, kissing him. He smiled against my lips and reached up to cup my cheek. I grabbed his shirt, pulling him to me. He reached behind me and shut my laptop, silencing the room. We kissed for a couple more minutes before he slowed down until he eventually stopped. I opened my eyes.

"What's wrong?"

I followed his gaze that was looking across my room. I saw my suitcase in the corner and looked back to Harry.

"Hard to think you're leaving already."

"I have been here for awhile..," I told him.

"I know, but not with me. I mean, I finally have time to be with you, and now it's being taken away, again."

I couldn't help but feel guilty about the whole thing. I distanced myself from him, "I'm sorry," I whispered.

He crawled toward my side, pushing my hair away so that he could see me.

"Hey, it's not your fault. It's just.. bad timing, is all."

"_Really_ bad timing," I said angrily.

He reached his arm around my shoulder, leaning his head against mine.

"I think it'll be alright," he whispered.

I looked into his eyes, feeling saddened by the conversation, "do you really?"

He nodded slowly, "yeah. About tomorrow, do you want to spend the night at my house? It'll be easier for tomorrow when.. I leave for London."

I nodded, "sure."

I slipped away from his embrace and grabbed my small over-night bag and threw some clothes in it, along with pj's and my toiletries. I put his clothes that I borrowed in there as well, to give back to him. It only took a few minutes and I threw my purse and phone into the bag as well. We left my room and Harry went to start the car. I walked into the living room, seeing Mum watching tv.

"I'm uh, spending the night at Harry's, because he leaves tomorrow.."

She didn't make eye contact with me, and for a few seconds I thought that she didn't even acknowledge that I was standing there.

"Okay," she whispered to me, emotionless.

I stood there for a few extra seconds, before I left with the heaviest sense of guilt, and quite frankly, bullshit, that I've ever felt in my life. My host Mother, treating me coldly because I was no longer dating her son. This was the biggest piss off I had ever had to deal with in my life. Adult maturity, my ass. I left the house and climbed into the car, and Harry pulled away, taking us to his house. He drove with one hand the whole way there, his other holding my hand tightly.

We made it to his house and got out, heading inside. I immediately went up to his room and changed into my pyjama shorts and t-shirt while he went to find his Mum. I climbed onto his bed, pulling the sheets back and pulling them over my legs. Harry came in soon after, smiling at me, probably at how comfortable I felt that I could just wait for him, in _his_ bed. I watched him as he undressed to his boxers, tossing his clothes to the side. He shut off the light and climbed in after me, laying down. He pulled on my arm, making me slide down on the bed, and I scooted next to him. He wrapped an arm around my back, keeping me close, and my hand went onto his chest and I could feel his heartbeat. It was beating extremely _fast_.

"It's because I'm happy," he whispered. Despite it being dark, I could see his face perfectly. I could see everything perfectly. His words broke down the last wall I was so desperately holding up, and I knew that I agreed with everything he said. Everything he meant, I knew I meant it too. I had never seen things so clearly and perfectly in all my life.

***Next Day***

It was noon and we were all standing in the airport, waiting for Harry's flight to be announced. His Mum was going to drive me home afterward, but I never wanted that moment to come. Everyone was talking excitedly about his performance this week during X-Factor, and wishing him the best. I smiled at his family, how joyful everything seemed to be. His Mum though, I felt as if she didn't want me around him. Like I was poison and toxic to her son's health.

"_Flight 815 to London will begin boarding now._"

Everyone in Harry's family hugged him tightly and wished him goodluck. I stood to the side of the happy family moment awkwardly, thinking of how I still didn't belong. Once everyone said their good-bye's and Harry's Mum kissed him on the cheek for the fifth time, they all began walking away, giving us space. He turned to me and I put on my best fake-smile. I didn't know how to act, because this was going to be our last time seeing one another, for god knows how long, and that thought made me want to break down crying. He pulled me to him, hugging me tightly. I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging back. I stared at the ceiling, blowing air into my eyes to try and quickly dry the emotional tears that I knew were coming. He loosened the hug and looked at me, biting his lip.

"We'll see each other soon," he told me.

I nodded, a few more times than I wanted to, "yeah, definitely."

He chuckled, "I'm telling the truth. We will."

I nodded _again_, "okay, yeah."

He looked to his feet then back to me, "you don't..," he shook his head, "nevermind."

"No, what is it?"

"This is embarrassing, but.. you don't have any guys waiting for you back home, do you?"

The look in his eyes told me that he was nervous about my coming answer.

I shook my head, "no," I giggled, "not a one."

He smiled at my answer, "good, because I don't like sharing."

I raised my eyebrows, "what ar-"

He shook his head slowly, politely telling me to stop talking. He leaned down and opened his bag, pulling out his purple Jack Wills hoodie. He stood back up and held it in front of himself nervously.

"I told you I want you to have this."

I shook my head as he put the sweater in my grasp, "it's okay. It's yours!"

"I want you to keep this. It'll let people _and_ myself know.."

"Know what?"

"That you're mine."

He stepped toward me and placed his hands on my waist again, "will you be my girlfriend?"

I was speechless as I relished at his words. His _girlfriend_. Together, with Harry. No one else but him. I could tell he was nervous because I was taking forever to answer, but I nodded quickly, unable to process how to speak. His smile stretched wide, showing his adorable dimples. I put the sweater on his bag and wrapped my arms around him as he did to me, holding each other tight. I pulled back only a little, and we kissed. It was slow, but so meaningful and amazing that I just wanted to stay here forever.

"_This is the final boarding call for Flight 815 to London."_

We pulled apart and I picked up Harry's sweater and he grabbed his carry-on. He smiled before turning away from me. He only took a few steps before he turned around and came back to me, connecting our lips for one last kiss before we were separated for long time. I smiled once he pulled away, and so did he. He bit his lip and turned and walked away for real. I stayed in my spot as I watched him get his ticket checked and walk to the walk-way opening. He looked back to me and smiled and waved. I returned the gestures to him and my stomach fluttered highly. He slowly turned away and began walking into the tunnel, looking back one last time before he rounded the corner and vanished from my sight.

I stood there for a minute, before realizing that it was time to leave. His Mum placed her hand on my shoulder, letting me know what we had to leave. I followed behind his family. I looked back to the gate where we stood a few moments ago, where everything changed for the better. I smiled to myself as I continued walking, clutching his sweater close to me.

**I am SORRY it took me forever to write this. I had MONDO Writer's Block and was so mad at myself -_- But to those of you who reviewed, thank you ! Means so much, they all make me smile! and to those of you who read this, and favorite it, oh my god, you guys are amazing, and I love that people are actually reading this, ahahah!**

**To the reviews that spoke about Niall and Harry, don't you worry my little readers, Niall is coming back into the story.. in a BIG way. And so is Liam! I've got so many ideas for this story, so I'm going to continue it for a long time, haha. If you want it to last, that is!**

**So please leave a review, because I get excited when I see I had new ones... lol! Pretty please :) love you guys, thank you!**


	19. Heart On my Sleeve

I had made it through all of my exams, and tonight was the night, Graduation. As I zipped up the back of my dress, black with a white lace wrap around my waist, I felt horrible. My last night in Ireland. I slipped on my black heels, the ones that I had worn to Prom with Harry, on my feet and adjusted myself in the mirror. My hair was straightened, and minimal make-up applied. I reached into my purse and pulled out the Shamrock necklace that Niall had given me. I stared at it for a few dreadful seconds before I fastened it around my neck. It seemed fitting almost, that my last night here, I should wear something representing my time. If I had my way, I'd wear jeans and Harry's hoodie to grad, but I had a feeling that wasn't going to fly with the "parentals."

A knock came from the door.

"Come in," I said, staring at my reflection in the mirror. Dad opened the door and came in slowly. Immediately the air thickened with awkward expression because undoubtedly, Mum had told him of our conversation about Niall yesterday.

"You look lovely," he told me. I smiled lightly before turning to face him. His eyes wandered to the necklace and his gaze softened. I gulped silently.

I looked to the ground, playing with my hands, "does she hate me?"

"No, she doesn't."

I looked up and met his solemn expression, "she's just confused and doesn't understand."

I nodded lightly before grabbing my jacket and my purse. Dad stood in front of the door, blocking me.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"It's okay," he said quietly.

"Excuse me?"

He put his arms around me protectively, pulling me in for a hug, "it's okay.. We still love you. Daughter. We're proud of you."

I hugged him back tightly and held in my tears. After a few moments of hugging, he let me go and ushered me out of the room. I wiped at my eyes and went downstairs, Dad following me. Mum and Jon were waiting in the car. As I walked down the steps, the cool Summer breeze hitting, I felt saddened and happy all at the same time. I was about to Graduate from High School, but I was leaving the most wonderful, amazing, and incredibly breath-taking country. I climbed into the car next to Jon, sitting behind Mum. She didn't say anything to me, nor did she even look at me. I felt as if she thought I betrayed her. Like I had sold her to an enemy for cheeseburgers. The car ride to the school was short and quiet. We all climbed out and Jon held my hand as we walked into the school. The gym was decorated with chairs all aligned for the Graduates, the bleachers pulled out for the Families, and covered with banners and lights and flowers on the stage. Mum pulled Jon away from me and they went into the Gym. I stood there, dumbfounded that even my Host-Mother could hate me. Dad gave me a reassuring smile as he followed them. I went into the next classroom where everyone was. They gave me my cap and gown and I threw them on over my dress. They were black. After a half and hour of waiting, I heard my phone beep amongst the chattering students. I found my purse and opened it, seeing a text from Harry.

_I wish I could be there graduating with you :( I miss you so much, love. So do the boys. Lou is going mental without you haha. Have an amazing night, I'm proud of you. Remember, I'll see you soon._

I smiled at his text and typed a quick reply,

_I miss you so much, I wish I could be with you._

I put my phone back in my bag just as the teachers were shuffling us all out into the gym. The stupid Pomp and Circumstance grad song began playing as we all took our seats. I looked for my _Family_ in the crowd, and saw Dad pointing the camera in my direction. I smiled as he took a picture. I turned to the stage as the Principals were giving an opening speech. Nearly 30 minutes later, most of the students had gone up to get their diplomas. My line had gotten up and were waiting by the stage.

"Lezile Harris," the Principal announced. I took a deep breath as I walked up the steps onto the stage as my classmates, whom I honestly didn't know half of them, applauded for me. I shook the Principal's hand as took my diploma. Dad had come to the stage and I smiled as he proudly took my picture before returning to his seat. I crossed the stage and returned to my seat. I opened the folder and looked at what I had actually accomplished. I smirked down at the piece of paper. All the years of awkwardly striving to finish school, had been done. High school, that is.

The ceremony finished and we stayed for a little while at the reception for everyone. Mum had taken pictures with me, but I could tell she still wasn't my Number 1 Fan at the moment. I took out my phone and handed it to Dad.

"Can you take a picture of me?" I smiled.

He nodded and took the picture of me in my Grad gown. Once he gave it back, I sent a copy to my _real_ Mother.

"_Your kid just graduated :)"_

I sent another copy of the picture, to my counterpart.

"_Aaaaaaall done :) I work this gown._"

A few minutes later I got a reply from my boy.

"_Ya, you make that gown work! You're beautiful, as always :) I'm busy right now, but we'll talk later, love._"

I smiled at his message before putting my phone back in my bag.

Mum and Dad spoke with the other parents for a bit while I sat down with Jon. He looked up at me with his tiny eyes.

"I heard you and Mum fighting."

"What do you mean..?"

He looked down at his tiny hands, playing around with his fingers.

"Yesterday, about Niall. I heard you yelling at each other."

I instantly felt guilty. I hadn't meant for Jon to hear us fighting, especially about his big brother. I put my arm around his shoulders.

"It's nothing for you to worry about. Everything's fine."

He looked back up to me seriously, "is it? I may be a kid but I'm _not_ stupid."

I sighed, "I know you're not. I don't want you to worry, that's all."

"Do you hate my brother?"

I was struck by his question. I was pissed at Niall, yes, but hate him? I don't think I was ever going to be capable of hating him. Even if I was, I wasn't about to admit it to a youngster like Jon.

I shook my head, "no, I could never hate Niall."

He nodded once, "I know he really likes you."

I laughed a little at his assurances, "does he now?"

"He would tell me all the time, but threatened to hit me if I told you."

I leaned down and gave him a small hug, "I won't tell him, I promise."

After awhile, we finally left the school, leaving my peers whom I barely knew, my old locker, and the memories of where I met the most amazing, five boys. Once we arrived home, I had slipped into a depression that only depressed poets could understand. I climbed out of the car and waited behind Mum at the door until she opened it. We walked inside and I immediately took off my heels, carrying them. As I made my way up the stairs, Dad called out to me.

"Lezile, honey, would you like anything to eat?"

I didn't even turn around, I just shook my head, "I'm just going to pack," I whispered.

I closed my door quietly, and I took off my grad gown, placing it on the bed. I placed my two suitcases on the bed, opening them up. I plugged my ipod into the tiny stereo and turned on my music. My favorite, Olly Murs. The man was gorgeous, and angelic in every way. I played Heart Skips A Beat. I began dancing around carelessly around the room, grabbing clothes from the drawers and my closet, folding them up and packing them away in my suitcases. I kept out a pair of pyjamas for tonight, and sweats for tomorrow on the plane. I wasn't sitting six hours on a flight in jeans or a dress. That's a no-no that I learnt from the first time. I grabbed my small backpack from the closet and put my cellphone and everything from my purse into the backpack. I'd put my ipod in it tomorrow. I tossed my purse into my smallest suitcase, zipping it up. I tossed a few pairs of shoes in the bigger suitcase and the rest of my clothes. I took off my dress and folded it, placing on top of my other clothes. I changed into my pyjama shorts and t-shirt, before closing my last suitcase. I placed them on the floor by the door and sat down on my bed. I stared at the room. I took in every last detail, because I was leaving the place that I had called home for the last few months, forever. I wasn't coming back, I knew that. I was going back to my regular life, in the city that I knew like the back of my hand. Back to driving on a _different_ side of the road. Back to regular accents and regular boys with no class or respect and faked everything about themselves. Back to plain old me. I lived a life of excitement and breathtaking experiences in a gorgeous country that I could only ever dream of, and now I was leaving it all.

I took my ipod out of the stereo, silencing the room, before putting my headphones in and continuing to listen. I walked to the balcony and opened the doors, feeling the cool night breeze against my skin. I looked out over the houses and to the green hills. I loved Ireland with every fiber of my being, there was no denying it. It was such a shame to leave it all. I looked up at the moon, shining fully, and I knew that it was never going to look the same in Toronto as it does here. It was bigger here, more beautiful, more calming. I breathed in deeply as a fresh gust of wind hit me. I had found a world of peace a lifetime away from home, and I was going back to chaos tomorrow.

I smiled knowingly at the fact that I was taking home with me beautiful memories of the wonderful boys I met here, and one in particular; Harry. He was with me, and he wasn't leaving. I knew his reassurance that we would be together was going to stay, despite me leaving. I wished for nothing more than for him to be here, holding me, comforting me on my last night in paradise.

And Niall. Our time together was beautiful, for the most part, but I felt trapped in curiosity at how we fell apart. There had to have been more than just Harry and our fight about Prom. I tried to think of what he was doing, but I couldn't even make up _anything_. It was like I lost him. Lost my connection to be able to read him, to be able to feel him. I stepped back into my room and closed the doors. The room was cold and dark, and I climbed under the covers. I took out my ipod and placed it on the night-stand, letting the silence of the night carry me off. I turned on my side, feeling my slow burning tears slide down onto the bridge of my nose. I began choking up as I replayed _everything_ that has happened to me here, and how I was going to have to rely on my memories to feed me and keep the haunting hunger for Ireland, my home, at bay.

***Niall's Mum's POV***

I paced back and forth in my room until I decided to take action. I walked slowly toward Lezile's room, stopping outside her door. I raised my hand, getting ready to knock, but I was stopped by the sounds emanating from inside. I pressed my ear to the door and heard her. She was crying. I felt my heart break at the sound of her choking herself up. I decided not to go in. Had I caused her to cry? I hadn't meant to treat her so badly, but what was I supposed to do? This was new territory and I wasn't sure of how to act. I stepped away from her door and went downstairs into the den office. I sat down and opened up the picture files on the computer, dragging pictures to print. As they printed slowly, I pulled out paper and a pen. I needed to explain myself, and I wasn't about to go up and disturb her even more. I couldn't put myself in her shoes to imagine how she was feeling. Broken, was all I could think of.

***Next Day***

I walked slowly on the cold concrete, dragging my feet. I was in my black fitted track pants that cuffed at my ankles, a white tank top, and Harry's purple Jack Wills hoodie. I carried my backpack. It was 1pm here and my flight was boarding in a few minutes. We all stopped at my gate and I turned to face the Family that I had grown to care for. Jon was the first to move. He sprinted the few feet to me and wrapped his arms around my body. I leaned down and gave him a huge hug, shutting my eyes tight to stop my coming tears.

"Don't go," he whispered, and I could hear the sadness in his voice.

I let my tears flow freely then, unable to contain them, "I wish I could stay."

"Then stay, please! You're my sister!"

I hugged his little body tighter.

"I love you little man, don't forget that."

I felt his tiny tears hit my shoulder and I nearly crumpled right there.

"I love you too," he whispered.

"_This is the boarding call for Flight 220 to Toronto._"

I let Jon go and I brushed my tears away as he backed away, his blood-shot eyes piercing holes in mine. I stood up, adjusting my backpack on myself. Dad came up and hugged me tightly, and I happily returned it. He rocked us back and forth a couple of times. He pulled away and wiped away my fallen tears.

"I love you, my daughter," he whispered.

"I love you, _Dad_."

He smiled sadly and backed away, trying to keep his face steady. I looked to Mum nervously, afraid to even step near her for fear of being scorned and shunned away. She made the first move, stepping toward me, wrapping her protective arms around me and hugging me tight as ever. I breathed out a huge sigh of relief, wrapping my arms around her small frame. I closed my eyes and relished in her embrace. She backed away and reached into her bag, pulling out a brown envelope. She eyed it nervously before handing it to me. I began to open it but she stopped me.

"Not yet," she shook her head, "open it on the plane."

I nodded and bit my lip, "I guess I better go."

They all nodded, and I turned away from them, slowly walking away. I had never thought when I first come here that I would have gotten so attached to all of them. I slowly stopped and turned around to see them watching me. I jogged back to them, wrapping my arms around both Mum and Dad. Jon's small arms reached all around my waist, and that's when it happened, Mum broke down. Her quiet sobs were heard and weren't going un-noticed. I let go one last time of the family that I had come to love as my own. Dad rubbed my back soothingly and Mum pushed me gently by my shoulders.

"Go," she whispered.

I nodded, my eyes stinging with tears still. I didn't move, I just looked at all of them, remembering their faces.

"Go, honey," she pressed, pushing on my back once more. I nodded and left towards the terminal. The lady checked my ticket and cleared me to go through. I stood at the gate and took one last look to them. They all waved, sad smiles gracing their faces. I smiled back and blew a kiss to them, and Jon held out his tiny hand, pretending to catch the love I was sending them. My legs took me through the tunnel, leaving my cross-country life behind. I felt suffocated on the plane. Faces of strangers happily chatting away to one another, and here I was, sad and alone, sniffling back my tears. I took my seat at the window, shoving my back under my seat. I opened the envelope that Mum had given me, revealing papers and photos. I looked at the photos first. One was a family pictures. We were all in the living room, Mum and Dad on either side of Niall and I, and Jon in the centre. We were all smiling. I bit my lip as I felt my heart break a little. The others were random photos of us all around the house. Jon playing video games, a picture of Dad and Mum, and one of me and Niall that I had never seen. We were on the couch, laughing, and Niall had his arms around my waist. I didn't look at that one too long before switching it. I couldn't bare to look at it for too long. There were the pictures from Graduation last night, and a group photo of everyone at dinner the night before the boys left for X-Factor. I smiled as I saw Louis making a very 'derp' face at the camera, and Liam with his perfect toothy smile, and Zayn, with his flawless smile. The last picture was one that I wasn't expecting. It was a picture of Niall and I from the day I bought my Prom dress. The one Harry had taken on Niall's phone. He had his arm around my waist, and we both looked incredibly happy. I flipped it over and there was writing on the back, in quotations..

"_She looks beautiful, eh Mum? I'm so lucky that she came here, I've never wanted to be with anyone so bad, and I can't believe she chose me. With time, I can love her Mum, I know I can. We'll be in love."_

My breath caught in my throat as I read, and re-read the words about a hundred times over. He could love me in time. We could've been in love.. _In love_.

I fastened my seatbelt as the Captain told me, and once I was settled in, and the plane began speeding down the runway, I began reading the letter.

_You are an amazing girl, and I'm so happy that you were sent to my Family. You were a stranger, but soon became a part of our Family, making everyone love you. As I write this, I can feel myself welling up with tears at the thought of you leaving us tomorrow. The guilt I feel for arguing with you about Niall is tremendous and it isn't going to lift. I had no right to meddle into your business, but he is my son, and as you most likely read on the back of that picture, he does care about you. He sent me that text with that picture the night it was taken, when we all went out. He would come and tell me how happy he was with you and how amazing he thinks you are. That is why I was stunned when you told me you were over. But I think of you as my Daughter, and nothing is going to change that, and if you are happy, then I am happy for you. We all love you and are going to miss you every second from now on. If ever you need me, I am just a phone call or email away, for anything. I'm here for you. If you ever want to visit us, don't hesitate. If money is a problem, I'll pay for your way back to us._

_I sometimes forget what it's like to be a young woman, experiencing the world, finding yourself, and falling in love. It's scary, but I know that you will make the right choices for yourself, because you are strong and beautiful. You remind me of myself at that age, but only stronger. I'm going to be here to help you in any way that I can, for whatever reason. We all are. I am proud that you graduated here, despite everything, and the memories of having you here, well, I'm going to keep them with me forever._

_I hope you'll come home to us someday, no matter when, no matter the reason._

_I love you, my darling Daughter._

_Mum._

I closed the letter, wiping at my eyes again, for the countless time. She forgave me. She didn't hate me. I smiled lightly as I packed the letter and all the photos back into the envelope. We were up in the air now, and Mullingar, and all of Ireland looked so small and delicate. I was leaving home, and heading back to a life of imprisonment without the Family I had grown to love, the scenery and home I had become accustomed to seeing, and the boy who meant the world to me. I leaned back in my seat, cuddling myself deep into Harry's sweater, while holding the necklace that Niall had given me, tight in my hand. I was leaving and I was taking a piece of everyone with me.

**Heeeeeello lovelies! This chapter is a wee bit short, I know, but please, don't hate for it. It's also not very good, so please don't tear me apart about that either. It got a little bit emotional up in here, but hey, that's alright, yeah? Don't worry, the boys are coming back into this, and get yourselves ready, cause we're throwing some waves into the calm seas.**

**I love EVERYONE who reads this and reviews, you guys are amazing, and it takes my breath away when I read your amazingly sweet reviews! You can keep it up and review again? Gimme more suggestions if you wish! Cause I read them all and yeah, take them into consideration for this story! Don't be shy :) **


	20. I Need You Now

I had been home a couple of weeks now and just like I predicted, I wanted to go back to Ireland. Mom had been alright in paying attention to my stories about my time there, but deep down I knew she really could've cared less. Dad, well, he only asked if I had a good time, to which I replied 'yes,' when I saw him, and that was the end of that. They weren't together, at least not anymore. The thought of my Irish family, them all being together, was such a foreign and beautiful idea to me, that I realized that's what I wanted. My own family. The one I was in now was too destroyed to ever be put back together, but my own someday, with my own children, and a husband who will take care of us all and love us unconditionally. The boys had knocked down two performances on X-Factor, and they were phenomenal doing so. I practically drooled over Harry while he performed. We had been texting constantly when he wasn't busy, and considering there was a six hour time difference, my sleeping schedule, and his, had become erratic because of our after-hours texting sessions. Nonetheless, he _said_ everything was going alright, but it was still a little tense between him and Niall. I had a feeling that the "little" part was a massive understatement, but I didn't question him on it.

A week into summer and here I was, lying on my bed in my tiny room, in our small apartment. I was wearing dark ripped jeans, white sneakers, a tank top, and yet again, Harry's sweater. I had been practically living in it since he'd given it to me, wearing it around the house and around town. The smell of him that clung to the fabric was gone, and so were the feelings of remembrance of being with him.

"Lezile!"

I pulled out my headphones and sat up groaning, "what!" I shouted.

Mom came into my room with a list, "would you mind going to pick up some things for dinner tonight? I want to get this cleaning done."

I sighed and took the money and the list from her. I grabbed my backpack and left the apartment. As I waited for the bus, listening to my music, I still couldn't believe that I was 'home.' The streets here all looked the same; I've been travelling on them practically my whole life. I knew all of my neighbours, and they all knew me. No one and nothing was different. It was always going to be the same. And so was I.

Once the bus arrived, I paid the $2.50 and took my seat. I watched the passing apartments and buildings. I surveyed the bus, looking at all the different people. A girl who looked about my age was reading a magazine. I tried to get a glimpse at the cover to see who they were writing about this time, but she kept moving it around. I moved my eyes to her, and she looked up from what she was reading, catching my eyes. I smile politely, but her eyes only bulged out at me, quite frankly, startling me a bit. Did she have some kind of eye condition? Was I rude for staring..?

She looked down at her magazine quickly and I looked away. I felt her staring at me again, so I slowly looked over, catching her surprised eyes again. Feeling incredibly awkward, I looked away, focusing on my music and the view outside the _crazy_ bus..

I hopped off the bus at downtown plaza. I went into the grocery store and picked up everything that my Mom needed. Once I paid, I stuffed everything in my backpack, seriously not caring if I crushed anything, because knowing Mommy Dearest, she wasn't going to cook tonight anyways. This was going to sit in the fridge and _rot_ until another week when she wanted me to pick up fresh supplies. Five bucks says she isn't at home cleaning either. Lying bastard.

I took this as a get-out-of jail free card. I was out of the house without being questioned about where I was going. I could go anywhere right now. Anywhere except _home_..

I sighed and continued walking down the plaza, occasionally popping into clothing stores and looking at what they had, just to kill time. I was in no mood to go home and lie in bed miserable. I had all night to do that. As I was looking at the shoe aisle in a Winners store, I felt eyes boring into my back. I turned my head and saw two teenage girls staring and pointing at me. They saw me looking and quickly looked away.

_What the f-.._

I looked back to the shoes, but I could _still_ feel their eyes on me, so I gave up and left, eyeing them oddly as I walked out. I went into the book store, Chapters, and walked around. I felt so uncomfortable at the moment, afraid to look around for fear that anyone else was staring at me. I took out my phone and checked my face, but there was nothing on it, no food, no nothing. What the hell was everyone staring at! I went over to the magazine rack. I looked only at the sports magazines really, following Soccer or Basketball. Everything else just bored the hell out of me. As I searched through the magazines, a big and _bold_ picture on the next shelf over caught my attention. In _all_ the wrong ways.

I dropped the magazine I was holding and shuffled my feet cautiously to the next shelf. I gulped hard and squinted my eyes at the picture, hoping that this wasn't real and that I could call bullshit on it. It wasn't.

_**Harry Styles from X-Factor kisses girlfriend good-bye in Mullingar!**_

And there, under the bold print of my exposed love-life, was Harry and I, front page, kissing good-bye the day he left to go back to X-Factor. My mouth hung low, but no words came out, just squeaks of astonishment. My heartbeat carried on, racing faster than a man on steroids, making me feel faint. I didn't see any paparazzo's there that day! Who the hell took that? I ripped the magazine from the stand, holding it close to my face. This can't be happening... I could barely process thoughts, let alone _believe_ that people already knew about Harry and I being together. Especially people here. Oh Christ, the girls who were staring at me... At least now I know why. Shit!

I rushed to the cashier and placed the magazine on the counter. I handed her the money, but saw her stare at the cover of the magazine, then back to me.

I sighed angrily, "yes, it's me!"

I snatched the magazine and left, ripping it open, almost clawing it in half. A few pages in, there we were. Hugging and kissing in the airport, with his Family off to the side. And there, in my hands, was his sweater. I read the captions under the pictures.

"_Harry Styles and new girlfriend share intimate good-bye in Mullingar as he prepares to head back to London._"

"Oh, fuck," I whispered. I ran to the bus and caught it just in time, paying, then taking my seat.

I continued to read.

"_Harry Styles, known from his time so far on X-Factor, had an upsetting good-bye with Family and new girlfriend a couple weeks ago in Mullingar. Styles had come home from the competition for the weekend to attend his Senior Prom, with fellow classmate and love, Lezile Harris. More pictures on the next page._"

I flipped quickly to the next page, my heart getting caught in my throat. There they were, the pictures that were taken of Harry and I at Prom, and just for shits and giggles, they _had_ to add in the one of us kissing outside.

"'_They do make a cute couple,' a fellow student commented, 'but last thing I heard was that she and Niall Horan were dating.'"_

That sentence allowed practically killed me. No one _really_ knew about Niall and I breaking up, but I guess now everyone just assumed. That, or they all thought I was a two-timing whore.

"_Niall Horan and Lezile Harris had reportedly been dating for little over three months when they split, leaving Lezile's options wide open, allowing a very loving Harry to swoop in and take the role as the leading man in her life._"

I read, and re-read, and re-read _again_, everything that was written, until my bus stopped, and when I got off, one sentence struck me the hardest.

"_Speculation about the One Direction boys being a shoo-in to take the X-Factor by storm, leaving behind them a trail of fainting fan girls and yes, money, leads certain people to wonder if Harry's new lady is out for something other than just him. Perhaps, dare we say, his wallet._"

I scoffed hard at the article, closing it hard, reaching into the pocket of Harry's sweater, pulling out my phone. I fiddled angrily as I typed in his number. After a few rings, he picked up. It was only 6pm in London right now, so hopefully he'd answer. After a couple more rings, I heard his voice.

"Hey beautiful!"

"Have you been reading up on yourself lately?"

"What?"

"We, as in _you and I_, are in goddamn magazines, Harry! Pictures of us kissing all over the place, even pictures from Prom!"

He sighed heavily, "I-I haven't seen them. I am so sorry!"

"I've had random people I've never even seen before staring at me! I..," I breathed out heavily, pacing outside my apartment building, "this is too much, I don't know how to handle this. By myself, I don't know."

"Baby, listen to me..," he started.

I felt angry tears well up on the edge of my eyes.

"I'm listening," I whispered.

"Everything is going to be okay. I promise you, this will blow over."

"Oh really? Let me read you what they wrote; 'leaving behind them a trail of fainting fan girls and yes, money, leads certain people to wonder if Harry's new lady is out for something other than just him. Perhaps, dare we say, his wallet.'"

He stayed silent, obviously he didn't know what to make of this either.

"They think I'm a gold-digger, Harry! What if they contact Niall about this? He's mentioned in here too!" I began breathing heavily, _trying_ desperately to catch a regular breath, "Oh god, I can't deal.. I don't, does he know? Has he said anything?"

"Sweetheart, you need to calm down, please take a breath, you're scaring me!"

"Has he said _anything_?"

"No, there's no magazines out here about us yet that I know of.. and if there is, he hasn't said anything at least. I know you're not a gold-digger, okay? _I_ know this, and _you_ know that. No one else matters in this except for you and I. Okay? It's just you and me."

I nodded slowly, "you and me."

He sighed, "I am so sorry for dragging you into this with me. I should've asked you if you were ready for this, and you're not. If you want.."

"If I want, what? To break up?"

He cleared his throat, "y-yeah, to break up."

"No, I don't want that. That'd be the worst thing to do. I don't want that to happen to us."

"Good. I care too much about you."

I smiled lightly, "I care about you too," I kicked rocks with my feet, "I wish you were here."

"I know, I wish that too. I'd take care of you right now if I could, I know you need it."

"Nevermind, I'm just being a baby, I'll be fine."

Of course I was lying. In a matter of two weeks, I had gone from nobody, to "_Girlfriend of Harry Styles!_" in the tabloids. A day I literally thought I'd never see coming.

"Are you sure?" He asked timidly.

I sighed, "no, but I'm gonna have to be, I guess."

"I'm so sorry about this."

"Don't be, it's not your fault."

"He's _not_ going to find out, if you don't want him to.."

"I'm sorry, I'm horrible for making you keep this from him."

"Honestly, it's probably for the best," he assured.

"Maybe. I'm uh, I'm home now, so I'll talk to you later."

"Oh. Are you going to be alrigh'?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay. Phone me if you need me, for whatever, I'm here."

"I know you are. Thanks, bye."

"Bye, love."

I hung up and put my phone back in the pocket of the sweater. I lifted the magazine to look back at the front cover. I groaned and walked up the steps to the building. I opened the door and made my way back up to my apartment. Once inside, I heard _nothing_. I knew she'd be gone. I'm not stupid. I took out the groceries and put them on the counter before heading to my room, ripping off my backpack and tossing it on the bed, along with the magazine.

I should have seen this coming, I really should have. My now boyfriend, and ex-boyfriend as contestants on one of the biggest reality shows in the UK, of course they were going to follow them around, including everyone who's in attachment to them. I grabbed the magazine again and opened it up. They were pictures of Liam, Zayn and Louis, out with the other contestants, or just with Harry and Niall, out on the town. I flipped through a couple more pages, my stomach churning with nerves every second. I came across something that caught my attention ten-fold. A picture of Niall _and_ Cher, laughing, his arm around her shoulders.

"_Close pals, Cher Lloyd and Niall Horan were spotted downtown at a small cafe earlier in the week. The two were seen talking quietly to one another in a booth, away from everyone else. No one in the X-Factor house cared to comment on the relationship between the two_."

What was it about Cher? I understand that she is gorgeous, and probably hilarious, and nice, and funny.. I shook my head. Who the hell was I kidding. They looked perfect together. Besides, I'm with Harry, so there's no reason for me to worry about what Niall's doing. Right? I looked back to the picture of them, smiling and laughing. That's when it hit me; he's happy, therefore, we're over.

***Niall's POV***

I paced in the living room, grabbing at my hair. I had done it again. Literally, screwing up every chance I could ever have to get my girl back. Cher had been the one person in the house, who besides the boys, I had been spending the most of my time with, and that was where my problems all started. The boys had even become strangers to me. The front door opened and I looked up to the entryway.

"Can I talk to you?"

He looked at me oddly before nodding and following me to the couch, sitting down.

"What's on your mind?"

I looked around the room, making sure no one else was going to hear this.

"Liam, I am going out of my mind, and I have to tell this to someone because it's killing me."

He looked at me nervously before nodding, giving me the go-ahead. I took in a giant breath before getting ready to open my mouth, revealing what I was hoping to keep hidden forever.

"It's about Lezile," I started.

He tensed up at the sound of her name. Odd, but I let it slide.

"when we first came here, I kind of felt.. like I wasn't going to be able to keep this going with her, or that she'd find someone else. We were distant, and I didn't like it. I tried to keep it working, but.."

I ran my fingers through my hair. Liam just sat there, looking almost nervous at what I was trying to say.

"I didn't want to talk to you guys about it, so I started talking to Cher. She understood what I meant and then we were hanging out _all_ the time, and I somehow forgot about Lezile back home, waiting for me."

"What are you getting at..?" He whispered nervously.

"When you and everyone else went out one night, I stayed here and hungout with Cher," I breathed out heavily, my stomach hurting from the pain I caused myself, "it was fine, until I sort of got lost with her. We ended up kissing."

I looked up at Liam, who looked like he had just witnessed a murder. I felt like shit once I saw him. I would have rather told anyone but him, but he was the voice of reason, and I desperately needed his advice this time.

"I swear to God, I think my heart just stopped," he whispered, looking at the ground.

"That's not all..," I continued.

He took in a shaky breath, "there's more?"

I nodded, feeling myself well with tears, "we kept kissing, and no one was here, and I don't know, I wasn't thinking, and we ended up..," my voice went to a small whisper, "sl-sleeping together."

It was silent for what felt like an eternity, and I slowly looked back up to Liam.

"You," he shook his head, running his hands through his hair. His voice became hoarse with anger, "you cheated on her!"

He stood up, towering over me.

"Please, Liam, I need your help," I begged.

He paced in front of me, fists clenched.

"You cheated on Lezile, and you expect me to help you! Are you completely mental? I can't believe you of all people would do this! She never meant _anything_ to you, did she?"

I stood up, "that's not true! She meant everything to me!"

"She means nothing to you! You don't do this to people you care about!"

"Liam, I seriously need your help! I need Lezile, I feel empty without her."

"That's your own fault!" He stepped closer to me, "_you_ lied to her from the beginning about X-Factor, _you_ bailed on Prom, _you _cheated on her, and _you_ want my help? You can piss off!"

"The hell's going on here?"

I looked behind Liam to see Louis, Harry and Zayn standing in the entryway. I swallowed hard as Liam looked from the boys, back to me.

"Tell them, Niall."

I froze. I couldn't speak. It was hard enough telling Liam, I couldn't face telling the others.

"Tell them, or I will."

I looked at him with pleading eyes for him not to say anything. He looked back to the boys.

"Niall cheated on Lezile, with Cher."

I heard bags drop to the ground, and their mouths were wide open, eyes filled with shock, an pure disappointment.

"You just kissed, right..," Zayn said with hopefulness.

I looked into his eyes, and he immediately knew my response.

"Oh my god," he said, holding his head and walking to the side.

Louis just looked at Harry worriedly, who looked like he was going to kill me.

"I can't believe you!" He shouted, taking steps towards me, "you string her along for months, and then you cheat on her?"

Liam stepped in front of Harry, pushing on his chest, "calm down, Harry! Please!"

"What the hell were you thinking!"

"I wasn't, okay!" I shouted, "I clearly wasn't, but I can make this up to her!"

"Does she even know?" Louis asked calmly.

I just looked to the ground.

Harry laughed sarcastically, "she doesn't even know, does she!"

"No, she doesn't," I whispered.

"This is bloody ridiculous," Harry said angrily, stepping away from Liam.

I had never felt like less of a human being in my whole entire life. The boys who had I looked to as brothers, now all I hated my guts.

"Was it only once?" Zayn asked.

I shook my head, "two times."

"Are you kidding me!" Harry began shouting again, coming forward, but once again, Liam stopped him. Louis held onto one of Harry's arms, "you didn't learn your lesson the first time, so you cheated _again_!"

"We were broken up by the second time.."

"Oh, oh you're right, I forgot, that makes it _all_ so much better! Thanks for clearing that up, mate!"

"Harry," Louis whispered.

"God, Niall, I knew you never deserved her."

"Excuse me?"

"You never deserved her!"

"She seemed to think so, because she ran to me instead of you, did you forget that?" I countered.

"No, but look who screwed it up. Not her, _you_."

"Lezile and I were better than you and her ever were!"

"I treat her like a princess, Niall. What did you ever do for her? Oh yeah, cheat on her, which shows that you think less of her than the dirt you walk on," he told me, ripping from Liam and Louis' grasp and walking back to pick up his bags.

"'Treat'? What are you talking about?" I asked, stepping forward.

He turned back around, walking right up to me and shoving a magazine hard against my chest, making me stumble backward. He shook his head as turned away from me again, making his way up the stairs. Louis grabbed his bag and practically ran after Harry. I looked down at the magazine, my eyes nearly bulging out my head. On the front cover, was my ex-girlfriend, and my band-mate, kissing one another.

_**Harry Styles from X-Factor kisses girlfriend good-bye in Mullingar!**_

I swallowed the hard lump that formed in my throat as I read the side titles.

_Harry Styles and love, Lezile Harris at Prom! Pictures inside._

He.. He took her to Prom? The experience that I denied her, he left to create for her. I looked up at Liam and Zayn, who exchanged glances before slowly making their way out of the room, leaving me standing there, all alone. I looked back down at the cover of the magazine, studying the large picture in front of me. The girl who I deceived, and the boy who now hated my guts, had formed a relationship in the time that I had taken to destroy one. I had screwed everything up, and now I didn't have any of the guys to lean on for support. No one supports selfish people like I had been. The way he held her in the picture, and the way I could see her smile against him, I could tell that I wasn't even a thought in the back of their minds during that moment. I knew that they were happy, and we were over.

**Ello lovelies! So, bit of an awkward explosion happened. The cat's out of the bag, and trust me, everything is going to change between them. I have taken things into consideration for the story, like ideas for new characters (about which if you give me ideas, I will give you credit if I decide to use them). As I keep saying, I constantly get ideas for next chapters, and I even have ideas to keep it going for like 50 chapters, if you want, haha!**

**Keep sending reviews, (cause there's almost 100, :O!), and they just make me smile like crazy. You guys are amazing for reading this and I'm glad if you keep reading it, cause that means you like it, and .. yay! :) You can PM me with ideas if you want, I'm open to all of them. I may or may not use them, but hey, no harm in sending them, right? We could work something out together! I don't bite, I'm actually nice, so feel free to send ideas! LOL.**

**Thanks guys! Leave a review? :)**


	21. Wake Up Call

I slept all through the night, and my Mom hadn't come home at all. The next morning, I woke up feeling better than I did the night before. Like somehow, a huge weight that I didn't even know I was carrying had lifted, leaving me feeling amazing. It was ten right now, and I leaned over to my nightstand and checked my phone. I had a missed text from Harry.

_WAKE UP! :) Call me plz._

I smiled goofily at the message and laid back down, dialing his number and placing the phone to my ear.

"You're up!" He shouted in my ear.

I laughed, "yes, I am! What's so important?"

"Well, it's about Niall-"

I sat up immediately, "what about Niall?"

"He knows about us."

I swallowed hard, but my heart rate stayed normal, "and..?"

"He and I aren't exactly on speaking terms at the moment."

I sighed, "I'm sorry to mess this up for you guys, Harry, I really am."

"No, don't be sorry, love. He's just.. got stuff going on."

"Okay."

"Is it alright? You know, that we're officially _out_ to everyone, and Niall?"

"Actually yeah," I began smiling, "I don't feel worried about what Niall's thinking or anything. I'm just thinking that I'm so lucky to have someone like you."

"I know you can't see me but I'm smiling really wide right now," he said.

I giggled, "good. You know I really miss you.."

"I do know, love, and I miss you so much too. But Simon said we may take a break for a week really soon. And if we do, I know what I'm going to be doing!"

"Partying?" I joked.

He laughed, "no, visiting my beautiful girlfriend in Canada!"

My body froze. I had never had any friends or anyone come home to meet my Family, and now Harry actually _wanted_ to come see me here.

"Oh, uh, you know I could just come back there. You don't have to come here," I practically rushed out.

"What? No! I want to come see you at your home. I am your boyfriend, so I should meet your Family. I mean, you've already met mine."

"You actually want to meet my Family?"

"Yes baby, I want to meet your Family, and thank the folks who sent you to me," he said. I could hear him smiling.

I sighed, "yeah.. you can come here," no sooner than the second the words came out of my mouth, had I wished that I kept it shut. Harry was going to come and expect a big house, a beautiful loving Family. A Filet Mignon kind of Family. And all I can offer him is.. Chop Liver.

"Good, so it's settled. The second I find out if we can, I'll hop on a plane over to you!"

"Great! Can't wait," I lied.

I looked around at my room. Small bedroom, red walls, a couple posters hanging up. Nothing really fancy or exciting.

"So what are you guys singing this week?" I asked, hoping to change the topic.

"Total Eclipse of The Heart!"

"Oh my god, I _adore_ that song!"

"I adore you."

I giggled and blushed, "Harry, I'm being serious."

"So am I."

"Are you nervous?"

"Excited, really. We've been practising like crazy, and we nail it every time, so I think it's going to go well."

"Good! I'm really proud of you. Of all you guys."

Even Niall.

"I'll tell them you said that."

"Good," I smiled, "how's Lou?"

Harry laughed, "he's good, still missing you. Still crazy."

"I miss him too! Is he around?"

"No, he went out with some lads a little while ago for dinner."

"Oh.."

"I'll tell him you want to talk to him. He'll be happy about that."

"Good, I hope so."

We talked for a little while longer, about random things, and he told me crazy stories of things that have been going on in the X-Factor house. He didn't mention Cher once. That I was kind of grateful for, but it was killing me a little because I didn't know _anything_.

"So what have you got planned for the day?" Harry asked.

I was in my kitchen, pouring juice and waiting for my toast to turn crispy, "um, nothing that I know of. Probably laze in my pyjamas all day and be bored."

"Jeeze party girl, you need to calm down!"

I smirked, "thanks, smartass."

He laughed, "sounds dull."

"It is _very_ dull. This is what you're going to have to suck up if you come visit me."

"It won't be dull if I'm with you."

"Awwwe, muffin," I retorted sarcastically.

"Don't call me that!" He joked.

"You're mine, I can call you whatever I want."

I grabbed my food and made my way back to my room, sitting back down on the bed.

"So the same goes for me?"

"Yes," I told him, "whatever you'd like."

"Hmmmm... Well, _sweetheart_," I smiled at his words, "I guess I'll have to think of something."

I took a bite of my toast, "I guess you will!"

"What's up with your voice?" He laughed.

I swallowed and told him, "sorry, had a mouthful of food."

"Attractive!"

"You seem to think so!"

"I really do. It's sickening how much I miss you."

"I think I know the feeling."

"You know, even when you were with Niall, my feelings for you never went away. They only got stronger."

I smiled, "that's sweet, Harry. Once you and I got back together, I felt all those feelings rush back, and they hit me hard. It was overwhelming," I took a sip of juice, "but it's a good kind of being overwhelmed. The feeling hasn't gone away yet," I smiled.

"See, you saying that makes me so happy!"

"Well I don't want you upset!"

"There's nothing you could say that would ever make me upset."

"Oh yeah? Your hair looked horrible during your last performance."

He was silent on the other line, and I kept my laughter quiet.

"I think we need to breakup," he stated simply.

I laughed aloud, "you know I'm kidding! You're worse than a girl sometimes, honestly."

He laughed back, "My hair's my thing! Let it go!"

"Okay, okay, I'm _so_ sorry."

"Why don't you say that with a little more sarcasm next time."

I smirked to myself, "sorry, Hun."

I heard voices on Harry's end.

"Do you have to go?" I asked.

He sighed, "yeah, Liam's calling me. We're heading out to dinner."

I nodded, "nothing that I haven't gotten used to already," I replied dryly.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Make me feel guilty."

"I'm not trying to."

"You don't have to, I can just hear it in your voice. You can't hide it from me."

"Sorry," I whispered, "hey, tell Liam I said hi, will you?"

I took a quick breath before quietly saying, "I miss him."

"I will, love. I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"Okay. Bye, I miss you!"

"I miss you too, bye!"

I hung up the phone and tossed it on the bed, biting into my toast. Another day by myself; another day of wasted moments and opportunity. The time of my life where I could have changed literally everything was behind me. I should've gotten a job there, rented out an apartment, started College in the fall there.

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda.

I groaned and grabbed my remote, turning on the tv. I flicked through loads of channels until finally stumbling onto Family Guy. I loved this show, it always made my laugh. Brian and Stewie were trying to write a song in order to become famous.

"_I want to have intercourse with you, uh, ou, yeah, intercourse with you.._"

I let my mind wander as the shrewd baby sang out the lyrics. Intercourse. Sex. I let my mind wander. I do wonder what it was like.. Yeah, I mean, as an eighteen year old virgin who just graduated High School, I admit, I was a bit curious. Was it painful? That's what I'd heard anyways. And if it did in fact, "hurt like hell," like I'd heard from so many people, then why do it? I then thought to Harry. He's handsome, and charismatic, so I serious doubt he's a virgin. I wonder what it'd be like... to have... you know, with Harry. Honestly, I imagine it'd be awful, for him, because of me. I'd be a first timer, so how the hell am I gonna know what to do, right? But then again, maybe we just won't ever do it. I shook my head to myself at my idiotic thought. We're teenagers in a relationship, we're eventually going to have to do it. But then again, I dated Niall for three months, and we didn't go all the way. But then I'd also just made out with Harry shirtless nearly three weeks ago in the bathroom in his house.

Oh God, we're going to have to do it.

The thought made me sick. I admit, I had thought about it before, with Harry. But my pain threshold is not that high, and I don't want to seem weak and fragile in front of him if by some ill-fated chance that I end up crying. I mean, I want to be in love before I do it with someone, but when is that going to happen? It's like the whole world is falling in love, and here I am, a robot; emotionless and stupid.

I changed the channel and the show Dexter came on, of _couse_, during an 'intimate' moment between a couple. I shivered uncomfortably and changed it again, coming across some Hallmark movie with a couple kissing. I sighed and changed it again, this time landing on Sex and The City. I groaned heavily and turned off the tv. It's like the universe was urging me to think about this to the point of driving myself crazy.

I got up and went to my closet, opening it up. I grabbed my baby blue sweater and shrugged it over my head and over my tank top. I pulled on some tan jeans and slipped on my Kicks. My phone beeped and I reached over and grabbed it, sliding it to the message screen. I was taken aback, but clicked on the contact and my eyes scanned the message, a small smile forming on my lips.

1 New Message From Liam Payne.

_I miss you too.._

I decided not to push my luck and text back, because this could be just a friendly message to get me to shut up. What did the two period's mean though? Was it some kind of coded Me Culpa? Like what he really meant by ".." was that he still _missed_ 'missed' me, or that he included them to show that it was awkward talking to me now and that he hates me? It shouldn't, because then that would mean that everything that I ever interpreted that happened between us for that short period of time, were just fragmented moments that I had created as a way of justifying what I thought that he felt.

Oh my god. I'm officially going crazy. I need to stop thinking so much..

I shook my head at myself, replaying my stupid thoughts in my head. It must be the boredom taking over, because I never used to analyze any situation this much. What was it about hanging around with these boys that made me so nervous and idiotic. It made me question every move I made, everything I say, and even think. Clearly. They all made me nervous, especially Harry and Niall. We were all out of the woods unscathed and well for now, but what if we were drawn back into the darkness behind the branches once more? Would we all be so lucky to make it out the second time? I had to stop myself from thinking so much about them and everything that's happened between us all, because it's been me whose ruined it all twice now. If I start thinking about Liam, who knows what mysterious feelings may pop up, and I could get myself into another sticky situation. I had to stop ruining things for myself, and them. They are basically brothers, and now I've caused friction in their little Family.

I grabbed my iPod and put in my headphones, scrolling through my music until I fell upon a song I was comfortable with listening to. Look After You by The Fray. I stuffed it in my sweater pocket and grabbed my keys before heading out the door, locking it. I made my way down the flights of stairs until exiting the building. I decided to walk the couple blocks to the elementary school down the street. They had monkey bars, swings, and a jungle gym on the property. It was basically a park. Civilians were allowed to go on it after school hours, and since it was Summer, this school was my playground. Literally. There were a few Families there. I smiled warmly to the few Mothers who saw me, and they smiled back. I walked to the swings and sat down on one, slowly rocking myself back and forth. I watched the children play. They looked so pure, so.. innocent. The thought kind of mesmerized me. I can't believe that at one point in my life, I was like that. I didn't have a care in the world. I would fall, scrape my knee, but after two seconds and a couple of tears, the pain would be gone and I'd be back to chasing the other kids. Now, if I fall, it's harder for me to get back up, because I don't know which way to get up. I can't just stand up, brush myself off and walk away and forget the pain. No, the pain follows me until a new type of suffering comes along. I have to watch my every step when I get back up, because surrounding me are emotional landmines, and if I'm not careful, I can be blown to pieces.

I envied the kids playing. They didn't worry about school, about finding jobs, or College, finding apartments, or backstabbing friends, or finding that one special person who will be there for you and love you, despite your flaws. Hell, these kids don't even know what their flaws are yet. Me, I discovered mine awhile ago. I can't keep relationships down to one person at a time, and I over-think things, which is what makes it hard to keep myself attached to one person at a time. Harry though, he's been knocking down my walls, and I think I've finally found stable peace in our relationship. Where I know that he's all I need.

I was kicking around the small pebbles under my feet when I saw two very tiny feet appear in front of mine. I looked up and met eyes with a cute little boy. He was smiling a very toothy grin. His hair was light brown and he was holding an empty pale in his hand. He lifted the pale up and tried to reach so that it tipped over my head. He was a short little thing, so I bent my head down.

I giggled, "is this water in here?"

He nodded happily and took the pale away from me.

"well, thank you!" I smiled. He smiled back and his cheeks turned rosy. He swung his small body back and forth.

"What's your name, sweetie?" I asked.

"Jack!" He shouted happily. That's another thing I admired about children; no fear. This boy just walked up to a complete stranger and said his name and acted as if I had been his friend forever.

"Hi Jack, I'm Lezile," I told him.

He big blue eyes lit up, "hi Lizule!" he tried.

I smiled at his attempt. Just then, his Mom came and picked him up, holding him to her.

"I'm so sorry!"

"No, it's okay. He's adorable."

"Yeah, most of the time," she joked.

Jack was biting his thumb, staring down at me with a smile on his face.

"It was nice meeting you," his Mom smiled, walking away. Jack held onto her shoulder and smiled at me. I waved to him and he buried his face in his Mom's shoulder. I looked down and kicked the pebbles at my feet again. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I took out my headphones and pulled out my phone. Seeing the caller I.D, I laughed. I slide the green bar across the screen, past Harry's Contact picture.

"Hey you," I chimed happily.

There was no answer. I heard rustling on his end.

"Harry? Are you there?"

Still no answer.

"If you're just sitting there listening to me talk, you're such a weirdo!"

The line was silent. I checked the screen but the call was still going. I held it to my ear one more time, but still no answer. I pulled it away from me, chuckling, "that adorable idiot pocket dialed me."

I hung up and put the phone back in my pocket. I sighed and put my headphones back in. I pushed myself backward and began swinging back and forth. I kept going higher and higher. I needed to be carefree for a little while.

***Niall's POV***

The boys had all left to go out to dinner. Zayn tried to convince me to tag along, but I wasn't up for it. I was feeling down and out, and I'm sure I'm the last person Harry and Liam want to see at this point. I went downstairs into the living room and plopped my body down on the couch. As I reached for the remote, I saw something next to it. I picked it up and examined it in my hand carefully, though I didn't need to.

It was Harry's phone.

I stared at it for a few moments before I clicked on the homepage, then to the contacts. My brain was screaming at me to stop, my hands weren't getting the signal. I found her name, and my stomach churned just reading it. I tried to phone her on my phone, but every time I had tried, she wouldn't pick up. Times like when you try to tell your ex-girlfriend you cheated on her are really hard when everyone has caller I.D. I clicked the green button on her contact name, and the time began counting. I held the phone to my ear, the dial-tone hard to hear with my heartbeat pounding in my ear. I was about to hang up when I realized how stupid this was, but her voice stopped me.

"Hey you!" She said happily.

Instantly I could feel my heart breaking. This is how she greeted him. No 'hey Haz!' or 'what's up!' but a 'hey you!,' the two-worded phrase known for a lovey-dovey couple. I couldn't say anything. I should have prepared something to say to her, but actually hearing her voice for the first time in a long while killed me. It struck chords deep inside me that kneaded and crushed every fiber of my being.

"Harry? Are you there?"

I still didn't answer her. I just tried to remember how her voice sounded. It sounded so familiar yet so foreign to me.

"If you're just sitting there listening to me talk, you're such a weirdo!"

Her giggle sent a shockwave of heartache through me. If I spoke up now, she would surely hang up. And even if she didn't, and I told her what I did, there was no way she'd ever forgive me, and I would never hear her sweet voice, or laugh again. I held my head in my hand and tried to keep my chokes to myself.

I heard her giggle once more, "that adorable idiot pocket dialed me."

The line went dead, and my heart went with it.

'_adorable idiot_.'

I ended the call on my end and put Harry's phone back on the coffee table slowly as if it were a live grenade that would go off in my hand at any moment. The house was silent, but my head wasn't. My thoughts whirred ferociously against one another, battling to try and make sense of the mess that I had made, and the light-hearted feelings she had somehow managed to re-kindle with my band-mate. I stared at the floor, eyes silent, until a single tear fell, igniting a burning hole in my stomach, and flow of tears to escape me.

**Hello all! So, a lot of you left reviews for Chapter 20 saying how much you liked it, and WOW, I thought that was like the worst Chapter I wrote for this. But Thank You guys SO MUCH! Honestly, every time I see that there's a new Review, or message from one of you guys, my smile stretches all the way across my face. If the next couple of chapters suck REALLY badly, I apologize a million times because I'm trying to skip some time to get to the exciting, crazy, life-changing stuff that's going to happen between everyone. Seriously, I've got a list of stuff for future chapters, so please, if you've stayed this long, bare with me.**

**And to the Viv anon, honestly, if you want to be in the story, message me? Let's talk!**

**To all of you, message me if you want! I don't bite. Love you guys!**

**Leave some more reviews? :)**


	22. Torn

A couple of weeks had gone by and now things were crazy. I was practically getting chased by girls every time I left my apartment. Apparently being linked to a group of boys in the UK makes me a little popular. I hardly left the apartment anymore unless I absolutely had to. It was madness out there. Some girls even decided to be nice and call me harsh names because Niall and I were no longer together. He was clearly the favorite among some.

I hadn't really spoken to Harry on the phone that much, we usually just text now, but his messages were really weird. Now he wanted to know _every_ detail about how my day was, and how I'd been doing, and just trying to always dig deeper for more information. But then when we would speak on the phone, he didn't ask me any pressing questions. I swear to God, boys are exhausting.

It was 8 at night here, and I was just in my room watching tv, when my phone went off. I had a text from Harry. Wtf? It was 2am over there! This wasn't the first 'nocturnal' conversation we've had. Every morning, like clockwork, he'd text me around this time. He had gotten more emotional during these conversations over the past two weeks, constantly telling me that I mean the world to him and that he hates being away from me.

"_Hey beautiful, how was your day?"_

I typed back, "I think the more important question is why are you texting me at 2am?"

"_Am I not allowed to talk to my girlfriend?"_

"You are, but Christ, you need sleep. I'm not that special to lose sleep over."

"_Yes, you are. I don't need sleep, I need you_."

I eyed that text carefully. There was _something_ in that message that didn't quite fit right.

"You have me."

"_Not really.. I wish I was there, holding you. I miss when I did that."_

"We'll see each other soon, and I miss you too."

"_Simon said after tonight's performance, everyone gets a week off. Said he spoke to the producers and they said it's okay."_

"Really? Wow, that's amazing! What are you going to do?"

"_Come see you, if you'll let me."_

I sighed at his message. He's been pressing so much harder lately about coming to see me. He said it's urgent and needs to talk to me and see me. I bit my lip as I typed my message back.

"You'll need my address if you're coming to see me."

"_You want to see me?"_

"Stupid question, I do miss you. I want to see you."

I sent him my address, and he told me that he'll book a flight later so that right after the performance, he can leave and fly here. I'd say I'd have to ask my Mom, but she told me she was going away for the weekend so now everything was already in place.

"We'll have the place to ourselves, my Mom won't be here."

"_Perfect. I want you all to myself."_

I smiled, but it quickly faded, because for some reason, my mind went to Niall. I could feel my heart begin to ache as I thought about him. I had always thought it would be him that I'd be bringing home and introducing to my Mom as my boyfriend, not Harry. Nothing was happening as I had originally wanted it to. It was all a mess.

"I can't wait :)," yes, a little lie, but who hasn't done that?

"_I've got stuff to talk to you about. About us."_

"What about us?"

"_I don't want to tell you through text, I'm not going to be that kind of guy. We'll talk when I get there."_

"You're making me worried now.."

"_It is serious, but I want this to all work out with you and I. I care about you so much it hurts, and I can't lose you again."_

My heart was racing. I had no idea what he could be talking about, but something in my gut was telling me that I really don't want to find out.

"You're not making sense now, and I'm starting to imagine the worst."

"_I gotta go now, baby. I really care about you. I'll see you soon."_

"I'll see you soon, goodnight."

I set my phone down next to me and stared at the TV. What the hell was that? What was he hiding that was eating away at him so badly? Then again, this could be a freeing moment for both of us. I'd of course let him spill his secret first, and if it was something serious, then I too, would confess what I'd been keeping from him..

***The Next Night***

I had just finished watching the boy's performance on X-Factor, and naturally, they were amazing. I had tried to focus on Harry during the performance, but I kept looking at Niall. I don't know, it's just the way that he sings captivates me, and makes me forget about everything else. I sighed and turned off the TV. I hope Cher's happy with him. Okay, I definitely didn't mean that. Secretly, I hoped they were miserable, but that's just my prerogative as an ex-girlfriend. It was now ten, and I got up off my bed and went out into the living room. The apartment was pretty dirty, so I decided to clean it. I'd die of shame if anyone saw that I lived here, especially with it looking like a Tornado just came through here. I worked in silence, thinking about random things to myself. Man, Harry was going to die of boredom once he got here. Unless he's thinking that because it's just the two of us, we'll be sleeping in the same bed, and therefore have to.. well, you know. I wasn't entirely sure if I was ready. Well, I mean I'm _ready_ but with Harry? I had no idea if doing it with him would be the right thing or not. I only lose it once, and what if he's not the guy to lose it to? Christ, I wish someone would just tell me what I'm supposed to do instead of having to figure shit like this out on my own. I can never be happy for just a second, can I? I'm indecisive, especially about relationships, because frankly this is the most boy attention I've ever received in my life, and sadly it's all happening at the same time.

Once I finished cleaning the living room, I quickly cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom. I just closed the door to my Mom's room, because no one was going in there. Finally, I moved to my room, and took the most time cleaning it. After all, this is where the party's going to be happening tomorrow. Oh wow, bad choice of words. After it was all tidy, I went to take a shower. The warm water felt pretty good, and it always helped me clear my head. Once I was all clean, I stepped out and dried myself off before heading back to my room. I looked through my pyjamas and put on grey sweats and a white tank top. I saw Harry's purple Jack Wills sweater in the drawer. I just stared down at it. I don't for how long, and I don't know why; I guess I was hoping it'd give me some kind of answer. I slowly reached for it, but before I could touch the fabric, I stopped myself. I bit my lip and closed the drawer, the sweater disappearing from my sight. I blow-dried my hair and climbed into bed. It was now midnight and I completely exhausted; mentally and physically. I laid back and closed my eyes, my hand automatically reaching for the Shamrock necklace hanging from my neck.

The next day I woke up early, but procrastinated all morning. I had finally got myself ready at 5pm for the big arrival. I straightened my hair and wore my black pants with my white shoes, white t-shirt and my green varsity jacket. I put on my minimal makeup and just waited. Harry should have been here already and I was starting to worry that he got lost or mobbed by a group of fan-girls at the airport. The house phone began ringing and I practically ran to it.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Yes, hello, I'm a driver from the airport, I have a guest waiting here for you."

"Oh, uh.. send him up?"

"Very well."

I hung up the phone. I would've thought Harry would have just phoned up himself, but whatever. My stomach flipped nervously with each passing moment. He was here. _Here_. Going to spend the weekend with me. I paced in the foyer for what felt like hours, the excitement, but more so, _nerves_, making me want to puke. Then I heard it; the knocking on the door. I exhaled a large breath and walked to the door, my hand resting on the knob for a few seconds. I took a final large breath before opening the door; revealing a crushed part of my life I had never thought would have showed up. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. I couldn't even process a proper greeting, let alone any sentences. He stood there nervously, holding his bag, his sad eyes searching mine.

"What... the fuck are you doing here, Niall?"

My heart raced fast, the beat pounding in my ears. He stayed silent; obviously, he couldn't come up with anything to say either. I was confused. No, worse than confused, whatever that is. He.. _Niall_ was here. Not Harry. I swear to God, if I was dreaming, this had to have been my worst nightmare realized. To have my ex-boyfriend standing in front of me, miles away from home, bag in hand, desperately waiting for me to say something else.

"Wha-How? Why are you here?"

My eyes began to mist over, as it finally settled in that he actually was here. Pleading with his eyes for me not to hate him. This was all too much. I was trying desperately to forget about him, but now here he was, carrying with him not his clothes, but a bag full of emotional turpentine that had sent us both on a whirlwind rollercoaster, making the both of us sick.

My neighbour from across the hall had just opened her door, eyeing us both curiously. I turned around and held my eyes. I heard Niall swing the door closed and felt him right behind me. I prayed that he wouldn't hold me, because I may just crumble under his touch.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "that last thing I wanted was to upset you."

I breathed in heavily and ragged.

"What the hell did you think was going to happen?" I told him harshly, turning back to him, "did you just think that you could show up and I'd be welcoming you with open arms?"

I wiped my eyes.

"No, I didn't."

"What'd you do, just creep Harry's messages with me? Find out my address and fly out here?"

Oh my God, what if Harry showed up any minute? He'd obviously think the worst because Niall is here.

Niall just shook his head, "no."

"Then _what_?"

He looked at me with the saddest expression I'd ever seen in my life. A guilty look, but he was proud of what he did, and that's when it hit me.

"Oh my God," I choked out. I began hyperventilating disgustedly, "it was _you_."

I choked out breaths, but it felt like I was unable to actually catch one.

"The whole time, it was you?"

He nodded slowly, his own eyes gathering tears.

"For how long?" I asked.

He didn't answer me, he just stayed silent.

"How long, Niall!" I shouted.

"The past two weeks," he whispered.

I held my head in my hands, breathing heavily, "that is _sick_, you know! Pretending to be Harry just so you could talk to me?"

"It's not like you would answer _my_ texts or calls! What the hell was I supposed to do!" He yelled.

I looked up at him viciously, "how about give me time! Not pretend to be Harry!"

"You know what's sick?" He asked.

"What?" I spat.

"That you don't call Harry 'my boyfriend,' or anything, just by his name. That's sick!"

I had to admit, he had a point.. but was I going to admit he was right? Hell no.

"So? Maybe I like saying his name."

"Or maybe you don't really feel anything for him, and you're just lonely."

"Well let's talk about _why_ I may be lonely, shall we? Who ditched me on Prom?"

"Okay, yeah, I did, and I regret it!"

"What?"

He ran a hand through his hair and paced a few steps, "I regret not taking you to Prom. I hate that I betrayed you."

I sighed, "it was only Prom, it's okay. I wouldn't say you betrayed me."

I took a few steps into the small hallway, leaning my back against the wall. Niall followed and stood against the other wall.

He spoke up, "that's not what I was talking about?"

I looked into his eyes, guilt was evident in his stare. I knew I was going to regret this, but I asked it anyways..

"What are you talking about then?"

He took a huge breath, "in London, at the X-Factor house, I was lonely without you, and I didn't think that I could keep us going, because you were leaving, and I panicked about us. I couldn't talk to the boys, so I talked to-"

"Cher," I finished for him.

He nodded sadly. My gut twisted nervously. I had heard a million speeches like this on TV dramas, right before emotional bombs were dropped.

"And we hung out all the time, and she listened and.. one night," he paused, rubbing his eyes.

I felt mine sting with tears but I tried to hold them in. I knew where this was going, and I didn't want to hear the rest, but my throat was dry, and my voice didn't speak up to tell him to stop talking.

"We were alone in the house-"

"Oh my God," I choked out, a couple loose tears falling.

He looked at me sadly, tears in his eyes as well, "and we slept together."

In that moment, I felt my defenses shed, my vulnerability show, and my emotional blow up in front of my face. He cheated on me. My boyfriend at the time, cheated. I felt like I was going to throw up. Everything that I thought was so great about Niall and I was blown to pieces in that one sentence. My breathing was ragged and it felt as if someone was sitting on my chest, trying to kill me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, tears falling from his eyes as well.

I looked up at him, devastated. This blonde-haired wonder that was once, and still is my everything, had destroyed me. He may have felt guilty, but my heartbreak was a feeling that he could never understand. He stepped toward me slowly, but I tried to back away. I was against the wall, but I was hoping that it would just swallow me whole and take me away.

"Don't," I pleaded. I wiped at my eyes, but the tears kept making it hard to see. I felt his hand touch my arm and I jerked it away, "don't touch me, Niall!"

"It didn't mean anything!" He shouted pleadingly.

"You have no idea what you did to me! I-I.. I _trusted_ you! And I clearly shouldn't have," I tried to walk away but he held my arm in his hand, leaning me back against the wall.

"Please look at me," he begged.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, and shook my head.

"I can't, Niall. I can't believe you did this to me."

"I was scared, okay!"

I wiped away more tears, "yeah, well when I get scared, I don't hide between someone's legs."

He looked hurt, "doesn't it count for something that I had the decency to come here and tell you myself? Instead of texting it, or you hearing from someone else!"

"It would've count a hell of a lot more if you wouldn't have slept with her."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. He leaned close and put his forehead on mine. Despite my huge disappointment in him, it felt amazing to have him this close to me again. I closed my eyes and breathed in his familiar scent, the smell calming me, despite my rage at him. His hand left my arm and went to my waist, holding me lightly. I opened his eyes and he did too, searching mine. I felt myself well with tears once more.

"Please don't cry anymore, baby," he whispered, "I'm so sorry I hurt you."

I closed my eyes, squeezing a couple of tears out, before my legs gave in and I slide down against the wall. Niall held me against him, falling as well so that I didn't crash against the ground. He held me close to him, rubbing my back. Ironic, the boy who broke my heart, was now consoling me and trying to piece it back together. He pulled my head against his chest, stroking my hair. I was still crying and choking on my own sobs, but Niall only tried to soothe me and calm me down. I didn't know if this was right, but I knew in my broken heart that this was perfect.

A couple hours, and much tears and fighting later, Niall and I were in my room. He was sitting on my bed, staring at everything in my room. I was standing against my dresser watching him. My eyes were sore from all the tears, and all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and pretend this whole day never happened.

He stood up off my bed and walked to my side wall where I had put up pictures from my time in Ireland. I swallowed nervously. I should have taken them down, but I was stupid and kept them up. There were pictures of Niall and I, from when we were playing the _Brother/Sister_ charade, but then there was us, kissing on the Ferris Wheel, me in my Prom dress, and the one Mum had sent me of us on the couch laughing. There were Family pictures, and just plain pictures I took of the town. Then there were pictures of Harry and I. I had put up a couple from Prom, and one from when we were at his house in his room, his arms around me. I watched Niall as he looked at all of them carefully. Especially the ones of Harry and I. He brushed his fingers against the one of us on the Ferris Wheel; the one he had sent me.

The silence in the room was deafening, and I desperately wanted things to be easier than this. I didn't know how to act around him. We went from Boyfriend and Girlfriend, to strangers, to me crying on his shoulder, to now what? We had infinite possibilities, but neither of us knew how to bring them up in any conversation. Then again, I was still with Harry, so I wasn't going to cheat. I did have a cheater in my room though, so maybe we could both be bad.

I turned toward my dresser and turned on my stereo, shuffling a playlist that I had created awhile ago. The silence was killing me, among other things, and I needed a distraction. I stood facing the stereo for a few seconds, just replaying everything that had already happened today.

"Lezile," Niall whispered.

I turned toward him slowly, afraid to look into his eyes again. I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Niall had cheated. The boy who I'd been told by so many who was "perfect" for me, had brought my whole world down. He was standing right in front of me. I was looking at his hands, which were carefully trying to reach for mine. I didn't move. I waited. Waited for him to make the moves that may or may not change everything. He took one of my hands in his and held them up at our shoulder height. His other hand reached under my arm to rest against my back shoulder-blade. I gulped nervously as the familiar feeling of his hand in mine clouded my brain. One of my favorite songs began playing, and the scary thing was that it fit our 'relationship' at the moment all too well.

"_We touch, I feel a rush,  
>We clutch, it isn't much,<br>But it's enough to make me wonder what's in store for us,  
>It's lust, it's torturous,<br>You must be a sorceress,  
>Cause you just did the impossible,<br>Gained my trust, don't play games,  
>It'll be dangerous."<em>

As Eminem rapped heart-breaking lyrics about a girl who broke his heart, I couldn't help but think about my own heart. It was so messed up. I had Harry, who would do anything to make me smile, and then there was Niall; who had originally had my heart from the moment I saw him back _home_ in Mullingar. I was never good at making decisions, obviously. I first picked a boy who treasured me, then I ended it to be with a boy who ended up cheating on me, only to wide up back with the first boy. This was it. Final decision time. I couldn't keep going back and forth, it wasn't fair to them, and it most definitely wasn't fair to me. Whoever I decided to stick with this time, I had to stay with. Not that monogamy was such a far-fetched idea for me, honestly, I preferred it that way. There's just been circumstantial situations that have occurred that needed to be taken into account.

The dancing with Niall was beautiful and awkward, and brought back all too many memories. His hands left me for a second, only to slowly be put back on my waist. He looked at me nervously, waiting for the go-ahead. I bit the inside of my lip before I put my arms around his neck. This was a moment that I never thought I would be living through. An ex-boyfriend and I, slow dancing in my room, after I had found out earlier that he cheated on me. I don't know if I forgave him just yet, because what if I did? What would happen? Would I fall back into the same routine with him, only to end up getting hurt once more?

His hands slowly pulled me closer to him, our bodies touching completely. His arms wrapped all the way around me. I took a leap of faith and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, our faces only inches apart. I felt like crying again, because this was now all too confusing to me. What the hell was I going to do? I leaned my forehead against his, our eyes locking. I could fall right now.. fall into a bigger mistake, and make a bigger mess for all of us than ever imagined. Was I capable? Of hurting Harry like how Niall hurt me?

Harry is perfect. He's loyal, funny, beautiful, and caring. And here I was; broken and screwed up and in the arms of my ex. What either of them saw in me was beyond my knowledge. But to Niall, I clearly didn't mean a whole lot, because he went searching for something other than me, and whatever it was, he found it in Cher. He pulled me right into him, and my head rested against his shoulder. I gripped onto him like crazy, because this may very well be the last time we have together. I shouldn't even be giving him this, this false notion that I don't care about what he did, because I do. I wasn't stupid. 'Once a cheater, always a cheater.' I wasn't naive to think that Niall would never do this to me again. If we got back together, I'd have to be there around the clock to make sure he didn't slip up again. I don't know if I was capable of dealing with all of that.

Once the song ended and another came on, I pulled back, to be so close to Niall's face. We were both breathing nervously, and his eyes went to my lips.

"I'm still with Harry," I whispered.

He met my eyes sadly, but nodded. I let go of him and turned around to the stereo, turning it off. I could still lightly feel Niall's hands on my sides.

"Do you think we could ever go back to the way we were? You know, before the whole cheating thing?"

I thought about it for a second, but turned back to him, "I don't know, can we?"

"I think we could."

"I don't know if I can ever trust you not to hurt me again."

He shook his head, "I wouldn't. I promise."

"You promised before, and you broke that."

I stepped away from his grasp and pointed to the door, "you can sleep on the couch."

"Lezile-"

"Niall, please."

I looked at him with pleading eyes. He just looked to the ground as he left my room. I closed the door. I ran my hands through my hair and my eyes watered once more. I blew air up against my eyes, trying to dry them. I stayed strong and kept them in. I changed into some shorts and a tank top and crawled under my blankets. They felt extremely heavy on me, and I closed my eyes.

A couple of hours later, I was still wide awake. And it being midnight, I decided he couldn't sleep either. I walked out of my room and into the living room, seeing his body curled uncomfortably on the couch. I stood there thinking for a few minutes about what I was about to do. I tip-toed to the couch and pushed on his shoulder gently. He stirred and looked up at me, his eyes showing confusion. I took his hand and pulled on it, and he got off the couch. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and followed me as I held his hand and led him back to my room. Once we were inside, he just stood there, watching and waiting for me. I sighed nervously and looked back to him as I closed my bedroom door.

**Hi hi! So, this was 10 pages on my Document Writer, so I HOPE this was a long enough chapter for you guys? Sorry the others are so short, but it's because I've got like a bajillion things to do with both of my jobs, and trying to find time to sleep AND write for you guys, and hopefully you Niall lovers won't leave anymore harsh reviews about hating on Harry.. but that's just me hoping, I suppose.**

**And don't worry drama-mama's, more crazy stuff is going to happen, so keep reading, please! Love you's!**

**Leave a review for me? :)**


	23. Ask Me To Stay

I had barely gotten a wink of sleep that night. Niall sleeping next to me brought back way to many memories, causing my heart to ache and my brain to wander. I thought about it when I brought him into my room, about sleeping with him, that is. I thought about falling, head, body, and soul, right into the biggest mistake I could ever make. But as we had laid there, just staring at one another, my heart racing fast, I realized that I couldn't. I cared for Harry, and I wasn't able to hurt him like Niall had hurt me. He didn't deserve that. He didn't even deserve to have his girlfriend sleeping in the same bed as her ex. No matter how many times Niall apologized to me, it was going to take more than one night for me to _ever_ forgive him, if I was even able to. I was never going to forget what he did, there was no question about that. You don't just forget heartache like this. Would I ever be able to forgive him, if I can't forget?

I was sitting in the living room staring at the floor. The TV wasn't on, I didn't have music playing. The only sounds to be heard was my loud heartbeat and my breathing. It was now 10am, and I had never felt more exhausted in my life. My eyes were heavy and my whole body felt sick. I heard my bedroom door open, and I adjusted myself awkwardly on the couch. I hadn't prepared anything to say to Niall once he woke up. Should I kick him out? Send him back home, or to a hotel? Did I even want him to go..?

He stumbled out sleepily into the living room, shirtless. I coughed a little awkwardly, looking at anything in the room except him.

"Hey," he mumbled.

"Hi," I croaked.

He cleared his throat, "thanks for letting me sleep in your bed, but I was fine on the couch."

I shook my head, "no, it's lumpy and uncomfortable. Trust me, I know, it would have screwed up your back."

"Well, thank you."

I looked into his eyes, "you're welcome."

He came and stood in front of me and sat on the coffee table. I shifted uncomfortably as he looked at me with sad, hopeful eyes.

"Um, there's nothing to really eat here. I'll take you out for breakfast," I told him, standing up. He watched my every move, not moving from his spot. I figured I had to feed him, I couldn't starve him to death, there'd be questions.

I walked quickly into my room, rummaging through my clothes. I was not in the mood to put on anything fancy, I was too drained. I pulled out a couple drawers, just staring at all the clothes. I couldn't even concentrate on picking out an outfit, because I felt Niall's presence in the room. I pulled out a white t-shirt then I a lightweight, grey-long sleeved top to put over it. As I searched through my other drawers looking for pants, I pulled open the one with Harry's sweater in it. I tensed up and slowly looked behind me, noticing Niall's stare going straight for the sweater. I pushed it closed with my knee and he met my eyes. I moved to my closet and picked a pair of black pants out. Niall was grabbing clothes from his bag. It was weird, usually I would've just undressed and changed right in front of him, but now I couldn't. Obviously because I'm with Harry, but the fact that he had changed into a completely different boy from the one I fe- I shook my head. Don't finish that god damn sentence, Lezile. I walked into the bathroom and quickly changed and put my hair up and fixed my bangs and put makeup under my disgusting dark circled eyes. I stared at myself in the mirror.

"What the hell are you doing?" I whispered to myself.

Taking my ex-boyfriend out to breakfast. I'm sure this was a new twist for couple's everywhere. I took a last breath before leaving the bathroom, but I stopped outside my bedroom. I could hear Niall talking to himself.

"She's never going to forgive you, you fucking idiot," he whispered to himself. I peaked into my room and saw him hunched over on my bed, his head in his hands.

I leaned back into hiding, biting my lip. The way he said it made it sound like I wanted him_ dead_. I didn't. In fact, I wanted him alive. I wanted him more alive than ever, with me. To be the old him, the one who promised never to hurt me. If he had stayed 'alive,' then we wouldn't be in this situation.

"Niall, you ready?" I asked loudly.

"Y-yeah!"

I took that as my safe-queue to walk into my room. I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my bag, and the whole time I could feel him watching me.

"Okay, let's go," I told him, heading toward the door and opening it. He stepped out and I left after him, locking the door.

The elevator ride was uncomfortable and we walked awkwardly out of the apartment and down the street. There was a small diner just a couple of blocks from my apartment, so I figured I'd just take him there. I was seriously hoping that no one would recognize him, or me, for that matter. I was not in the mood and I assume he wasn't either. We walked in _complete_ silence, because if either one of us spoke, that might've set off an invisible bomb inside us, causing a humungous fight in the middle of the street. We made it to the dinner barely alive, and we walked inside. There was a young girl waiting at the door to greet us.

"Good morning! Just the two of you?" She asked.

"Yeah, just us two," I replied quietly.

She smiled and looked between Niall and I and directed us to a booth. It was near the back of the restaurant, thankfully. She handed us a couple of menus, but we ordered quickly before she left. This had to have been my worst idea ever, bringing him out in public with me. I had no idea what to say to him to make conversation. I couldn't just say, 'hey, how was Cher in bed?' though I was seriously tempted. I looked around the restaurant, and I noticed an old couple in a booth a few seats down from us. They looked to be in their 80's. The man was holding his wife's hand, and her face just said it all; she was in love. I felt rude for staring, but they didn't notice me. I just tried to imagine how long they had been together, and if they had any problems they had to overcome. Like a _cheater_ in the relationship. I somehow doubted it. They had come from a generation that valued fidelity, and here I was, about to have pancakes with a boy who broke my heart. I felt Niall staring at me, but I noticed out of the corner of my eyes that he looked to the old couple as well.

I noticed a couple of girls come in to the diner. They looked to be about 15 years old. Aw shit. If they recognized Niall, I will seriously leave him here to deal with them. They looked around the dinner, looking for seats, and their gazes fell upon Niall and I. They smiled a little once they saw him, but they just took a couple of seats at the counter. They looked back to him again and giggled to one another, and I saw the one girl take a picture of Niall. God damnit, they knew who he was.

I felt fingers touch my hand and I looked down to see Niall staring at our hands, and his fingers grazed my skin. I pulled my hand back slightly, causing him to bit his lip. I just couldn't. For Harry's sake, and mine, I couldn't hold Niall's hand. The flood-gated memories would explode if I felt his skin on mine. Our waitress came to our table with Orange Juice and our food. I thanked her and she smiled before leaving. I had just ordered a couple pancakes, while Niall ordered practically everything. Despite being sad, the kid still had a huge appetite. That, or he was going to eat his feelings away like some teenage girl. Me, I didn't really want to eat, but I figured my body was probably crying out for food at this point. We ate in silence, and it was so painful that I could barely keep my food down.

"Are we not going to talk to each other?" Niall asked.

I looked up at him and took in a huge breath, "I don't know what to say to you."

"How about that you forgive me?" He asked hopefully.

I let out a breathy sarcastic laugh, "don't. Not here."

"We wouldn't talk about it at the apartment, so why not here?"

"Are you kidding me?" I whispered harshly.

He shook his head, "no, we need to talk about this."

I dropped my cutlery, causing it to clang on the table, "okay, let's talk. How was it, Niall? How was she in bed? Was it seriously worth it?"

He gulped hard, "no, it wasn't worth it."

"Okay, but how was she in bed? How'd it feel to rip her clothes off and shove yourself in her?"

He was getting angry, "_stop_."

I shook my head and smirked, "no, you wanted to talk, so let's talk. Get it all out now. How was it?"

He stared back at me angrily.

"The fact that when we were dating and you said you'd wait until we were in love to have sex, and then you go off and screw Cher without barely knowing her, sickens me. God, her sex appeal must be higher than mine ever was."

"That's not it!" He whispered angrily, "I did want to make love with you, but I knew you weren't ready."

"Don't say 'make love' to me like you mean it, like you wanted it to be something special. You just wanted someone to bone, and because I wasn't ready, you trotted off and did it with someone else."

I dug into my bag and tossed money on the table before getting up and racing out of the diner. I walked hastily back toward my apartment. I wanted to punch something. I wanted to scream until my lungs bled, I just wanted to disappear.

"Lezile!" Niall shouted.

I picked up my speed, but I could hear his footsteps catching up to me. My apartment was only a few more strides away. I felt Niall's hand wrap around my arm, turning me around to him.

"We're not done!" He shouted.

"Yeah, I think we are," I told him, taking my arm back, walking up the steps to my apartment. I opened the door and walked to the elevator, pushing the button repeatedly. Niall was right behind me. Once the elevator doors opened, I stepped inside and pressed my floor number. Niall stepped inside before the doors could close.

"Don't follow me in here!" I shouted.

"You have to listen to me," he pleaded, stepping toward me.

"Don't come any closer to me, and I don't have to listen to anything you say."

"I told you it was a mistake, what else can I say? What can I do!"

The elevator beeped and the door opened and as I stepped out, I told him, "you can drop dead."

I fiddled with the key to my door, and Niall was rushing behind me. I opened the door and tried to close it on him, but he pushed it open. I threw my bag on the ground as he closed the door.

"Get your shit and get out," I told him, taking off my shoes.

"I'm not leaving," he stated firmly.

I turned toward him, "yeah, I think you are!"

He walked up to me, "she wasn't worth it, alright. Losing you, it wasn't worth it. I regret it so much, okay! I feel guilty everyday, and some days I just want to die because I don't have you anymore! Harry is not meant for you, I am. He's just a time filler! Someone to keep you from feeling lonely! _I'm_ the one you're supposed to be with!"

"Maybe _you_ were the time filler. Harry is who I'm supposed to be with," I replied.

"You don't believe that. I can tell by looking into your eyes."

I looked down and my eyes pricked with hot tears, "I deserve someone who won't cheat on me."

"It was a _mistake_," he whispered.

I wiped at my eyes and looked to the wall, "God damnit, Niall! I was fine before you showed up!"

I pushed on his chest, making him stumble backwards. He shook his head, "no, you weren't."

"Yes, I was!"

"No, you weren't! You want to be with me, I know that! You can't just break what we have, it's different!"

"No, it's messed up, is what it is!"

"Shit happens, okay! Horrible things happen in relationships, but people look past them and move on, _together_!"

"No! People who tell a little white lie, yeah, they can move on from that. People who cheat on someone, that's something that can't just be moved on from!"

"We can! You and I, I know we can!"

"You want something other than me."

"No, I don't. I just want you," he pleaded.

I shook my head, "you wanted out. Or you wanted something else, because you went looking. I wasn't enough for you."

"What can I do to change this?"

"Nothing. Maybe if you would have kept it in your pants then we wouldn't be standing here having this conversation."

"I was wrong," he whispered.

"Yeah, you were. We can't ignore this. You and I, we're no good for each other."

"Yes, we are," he whispered, stepping toward me.

I shook my head, "I don't know how to deal with this, Niall."

He put his hands on my waist and whispered, "let me help you."

He pushed me back against the wall, our bodies touching. My hands held onto his arms.

"You have to forgive me," he whispered.

I looked up at him, his eyes were misting over with tears. I didn't know to handle Niall crying. I could tell he was vulnerable, but maybe he needed to finally feel what it was like for me.

"Please, you have to," he choked, "you have to forgive me."

I took a sharp intake of breath, my eyes wide as he shed all his defenses in front of me. He shook his head slowly, eyes shut, tears slipping out from his eyes, "you have to forgive me."

I don't know why I did what I did next, but my body was just telling me to. I reached up and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close against me. His body shook lightly from crying, and his tears damped my shoulder. He held onto me so tightly, like I was an apparition that was going to disappear from around him at any moment. I stroked the back of his neck, trying to calm him down. I had never felt heartbreak like this. Not like how he cheated, but holding my broken Niall in my arms.

A little while later, I found myself lying on my bed, with Niall sleeping on my chest. I kept thinking about back in Ireland, how Harry had once slept on me like this, but during happier circumstances. Niall had kept crying, but I brought him in here instead of having break down in the hallway. I laid him down and stroked his hair, and soon he had fallen asleep. His face was tear stained, and he had never looked more vulnerable in his entire life. His arm was around me, and I could feel his heartbeat against me. I was an idiot, that's for sure, letting him sleep on me like this. I don't know what it was, but I felt like I had to protect him. This should have been the other way around; me sleeping on his chest, with him comforting me. I knew he felt horrible for what he had done, but it doesn't wipe the slate clean. He had deceived me, in the lowest possible way, and I don't know if I had it in me to forget this ever happened. I knew Harry would never cheat on me. He was faithful, and I know I had nothing to worry about with him. If I got back with Niall, the trust wouldn't be there, and I don't know if it ever would be again. If our feelings were enough to sustain us through it, it wouldn't be right. I'd be worrying every second of the day that we weren't together, worrying that he was doing it with someone else. Under any other circumstances we could share a very long life together, but now I wasn't sure. Besides, what would happen to Harry? I knew how he felt about me. There was never any question about it, he always told me. Besides, to go from him, then to Niall, then back to him only to leave him again would be the biggest betrayal ever. What about Liam? Oh Christ. I had lead him on and now I don't know where we even stood on the friendship scale. He probably thought I betrayed him too and was happy that Niall had cheated on me. I was caught up in a mess of my own making. No matter how hard my head and heart battled, it appeared that I was stuck where I was. There was no way of getting out of this unscathed.

Niall groaned a little bit and tightened his grip around me. I held him close, running my hands lightly through his hair. I stared up at the ceiling, praying that it would just fly off, and clouds would part and someone would show me how to get out of this God damn situation alive. My eyes widened and I looked around my room, trying to find my cell phone. I craned my neck and saw that it was on my nightstand. I reached my arm that had been on Niall's back toward it, grabbing my phone. I flipped it in my hand and unlocked it. Showing too many missed messages.

1 missed Text from Louis Tomlinson.

_Hello there love! We get a week off, so come back home here BECAUSE I MISS YOU :) I miss my girl xx_

I smiled wide at Lou's text and shot him a reply,

'I need a little thing called money, Lou! I miss you like crazy, boo, muah xox!'

2 missed Texts from Liam Payne.

_Not gona txt me back?.._

_Louis' buggin me about you ignoring him. Come visit before I hit him ;)'_

I texted Liam back,

'I just texted him, sorry :/! I wish I could visit you guys, but I can't really afford it. I miss you, Liam xox.'

Zayn never texted, so I wasn't surprised when I didn't have any missed messages from him. Though, there were 7 missed from Harry.

_Finally off for a week! I tried phoning you, but you wouldn't answer me, babe?_

_I'm going to try and book a flight to see you, but only if you're free. Text me!_

_Hum dum, dum dum, where are you?_

_You're freaking me out now, are you alright? Call me, please. Let me know you're okay._

_If I did something to piss you off, I'm sorry!_

_I'm starting to feel like a needy chick..._

_Babe, I will fly out there and search the streets for you. I need to know you're okay! Answer me, seriously!_

I felt bad that I hadn't texted any of the boys back on time, especially Harry. I felt bad that I worried him. Christ, he probably thought I died. I had completely forgot to check my phone yesterday, but considering my ex showed up on my doorstep, I was a little bit pre-occupied. I couldn't risk waking Niall up by phoning Harry, so I texted him instead.

'I am so sorry I didn't text you back! I was really busy, and I didn't check my phone at all. I'm okay, don't worry about me.'

Yeah, it was a little bit of a bitchy text, telling him not to worry, considering he's my.. boyfriend, so he's obviously going to worry. I just wanted to disconnect. From Harry, from Niall and all the boys, and from the world. I needed to take a trip somewhere by myself and get away. To give myself some time to think, and to just chill the hell out. These last few months have been stressful, and this moment of having Niall sleeping on me while texting my current boyfriend was not helping my situation at all. I reached and put my phone back on my nightstand. This day was horrible, and there was no way to forget about it. I decided to sleep, because there was no way to move without waking him up. I closed my eyes and kept slowly playing around with Niall's hair, before I eventually drifted off to sleep.

Hours later, I woke up, but I was not in the same position as I was earlier. I was lying on my side, and so was Niall. I looked at our bodies and bit my lip nervously. Our legs were intertwined together, and his arms were around me. I pulled my one arm back, which was around his waist, and held it close against me. I breathed in his familiar smell and the feelings of how this used to happen back in Ireland came rushing back. It was never going to be the same as it was back home. Things between _us_ were never going to be the same. I moved my head back a little and caught sight of his face. He looked peaceful. Happy, even. Like being here, his arms around me, was where he wanted to be. I was home for him, and I just needed to figure out if he could be for me again. If home is where the heart is, where do you go if you don't have a home?

I just stayed there. I didn't move. Part of me wanted to, because I knew this was wrong. I cuddling with Niall, when Harry was worried sick that I had died or gotten hurt. Maybe we did belong together, because we're both damaged and stupid. Despite everything, we had found a way back to each other. I wasn't sure if it was fate telling us something, or just some dumb ill-fated chance, but to me, nothing was coincidence. I did miss Harry though. The way his arms felt so different around me than Niall's, but felt amazing nonetheless. The way his smile could brighten up my day, and just him being near me was enough to send me through a tailspin of emotion. Niall sighed in his sleep and his body tightened around mine. My head was telling me to get out of here, but my heart; my heart was screaming that this was right.

**Hello there peoples! How you doin? Good? Well I hope so! This Chapter came SO easily for me to write, it was scary actually! Now, all this weekend I've got crazy hours for work. So, there will be a new Chapter on Saturday for sure, then maybe not one until Monday or Tuesday. Hopefully that's alright with you guys. If not, I'm sorry... that's the way it has to be for this weekend lol!**

**You guys are all amazing for taking time to read this, I seriously can't explain how happy it makes me. Especially the reviewers! I love checking my email and seeing a new review, makes me all happy :) More drama and things to come, so don't you fret ;)**

**Leave some reviews, you lovely people! :)**


	24. UNI

I woke up the next morning alone. The bed was empty. I looked around my room, but Niall was nowhere to be seen. Did I dream that he came here? I heard noise coming from the living room, so I bolted out of bed and walked out, only to see Niall zipping up his bag.

"What are you doing?" I asked with confusion.

He spun around, looking nervous that I had seen him, "I didn't hear you get up."

"Just now. Are you leaving?"

He scratched the back of his neck, "yeah, I was uh.. I have a flight to catch soon."

"You were just going to leave without me knowing? Just going to sneak out of my house?"

"I know having me here was awful, so I was just going to make it easy and leave without you seeing. Now that plan's shot to shit."

"I didn't want you to secretly leave, Niall."

He sighed, "it sure seemed that way."

"Can you blame me? This wasn't the easiest thing to deal with."

"I know and I'm sorry. I'll go back home and you won't have to see me ever again."

He turned to pick up his bag, but I stepped behind him and put my hand on his.

"Can we talk? No yelling and no blaming each other. We just need to sort this out."

He turned his face toward me skeptically, like he somehow didn't believe me, like I was just going to yell at him again for all that he's done to me, but his face contorted into a solemn look, saying that he was going to give it a go.

"Please Niall, for me."

He nodded slowly and tossed his bag on the floor and sat down. I took a seat right next to him.

"Do you remember that one night back home, a couple days before you guys were leaving for X-Factor, when I told you that we should break up because we were going to be so far apart and you would be meeting a whole bunch of girls?"

He looked down at his hands nervously, but nodded his head, telling me to continue.

"And you said that you would never cheat on me, that I was the only one you wanted, and that you couldn't make it through without me?"

"Yeah, I remember," he whispered.

"What changed?"

He took a huge intake of breath and faced me, "I don't know, I just got scared. Things just got so hard to deal with, like how you were really close with Harry, I couldn't handle it. I was afraid that you were going to fall back into it with him, so I didn't want to get hurt."

"So you just hurt me instead..," I whispered knowingly.

"I've never regretted anything more in my life. I was just so sure he was going to take you away from me, and I didn't want to face another heartbreak by his hands. And you still ended up with him."

"Do you honestly think that I never cared about you? I was with you, not him. I thought about you all the time. No, correction, I thought about _us_ all the time, but I guess once you left, you stopped."

"That's not true. You were and still are, everything that I think about. I miss you."

His blue eyes pierced mine, and I could tell that he was being sincere. I missed him too, but I wasn't sure if it was right to tell him that. I had no idea if it would save us or condemn us to a more hurtful existence of loneliness.

"So do you.. um, do you still, you know, with Cher?" I asked nervously. I probably shouldn't of asked the question, but it was killing me.

He shook his head, "no. I only talk to her rarely now, but never for long."

I nodded and breathed a small sigh of relief.

"Have you and Harry had sex?"

His eyes and body expression showed that he was nervous to hear my answer. I could lie, and say yes, we have done it, but that'd only be to hurt him, which despite my anger, I could never purposely do to him.

"We haven't done anything."

He smiled a little bit at what I said, but continued, "do you think you guys will?"

I just shook my head before standing up, "no, I honestly don't think we'll get the chance. Niall, I need you to do me a favor."

He stood up as well, "yeah, whatever you need."

"Just wait here though, I'll be right back."

As he sat back down, I walked back into my room, taking a few deep breaths before I got what I needed and headed back towards Niall. His eyes widened a little in shock as I handed him what was in my hands and sat down.

"I don't need this anymore," I told him.

He gripped it tightly in his hands, "are you sure? It's yours."

"It was never mine," I replied, "I can't keep it going. I'm going mad."

"Are you _sure_?" He pressed.

"Please."

He opened up his bag and basically shoved it in there before closing it back up.

"I can't keep doing this. It's seriously killing me. Ever since you and I broke up, I don't even know who I am anymore."

He looked back to me quickly, his eyes searching mine. I don't think he could even believe what I just said to him. It was true though. Somewhere between losing Niall and spending time with Harry, I had lost myself. I wasn't who I was, and genuinely, I wasn't happy anymore. I had no more constants in my life. I had no excitement to live, I had no real home, no real Family. I was lost in a messed up sea of damaged emotion.

"I've got nothing to lose anymore. I've already lost it all," I told him.

"I feel the exact same way," he whispered back.

I let out a small laugh, "you and I are so messed up."

"Maybe that's why we were sent to each other."

"But we're not together anymore, so what does that say about us."

"I think we're together right now. Look, I know I messed up, and I deserve to lay in the bed I've made-"

"That is such a bad choice of words," I smirked.

He smiled through a small laugh, "sorry, but I know that you have every right to hate me for the rest of your life, but I just hope you won't. I want us back together. I was stupid, but I'm not _him_ anymore. I'm different, and I want to prove that to you."

"Niall-"

"If you want, not as a boyfriend, as a.. friend. I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than as a stranger. It'll kill me, but I need to have you in my life."

I didn't really know what to say back to him. I wanted him in my life, but more than what he was offering. I wanted to go back in time to the moments when it was just us, at home, nothing and no one else bothering us. We were alone to dream with one another. We were the only ones that mattered, and no one else interfered with us.

"We can take time and see where we go," I told him, smiling.

He smiled back to me, and began reaching his arms out to me, but quickly pulled them back. I, however, pulled him into me, hugging him tightly. His arms went around me and we relished in the familiar embrace of one another. I had never felt so messed up in all my life. Niall pulled back and my hands fell onto my lap. He stared just below my chin for a few seconds before reaching his hand up and holding the delicate four leaf clover necklace in between his fingers.

"You still wear it..," he whispered.

"Yeah. I haven't taken it off..," I replied.

"I'm surprised you kept it. I thought you would have thrown it away or something."

I shook my head, "no, it's too important to me."

He stared into my eyes, and I noticed his were coated with fixated emotion. My words had obviously caused an uprising tide in him, a mixture of sadness and glorifying relief. He let the necklace drop against my neck and let his hands fall onto his own lap.

"I should head for my flight now."

I nodded and stood up and he quickly followed, picking up his bag.

"Just let me get changed really quick," I told him.

"Wait, you want to come?"

I nodded and he smiled lightly before I disappeared into my room. I fixed my hair quickly and covered up my dark circles under my eyes, before changing into some dark jeans, black t-shirt, and a tan sweater. I pulled on my shoes and grabbed my bag, heading out of my room. Niall was leaning against the front door, waiting.

"Ready to go?" I asked.

He looked up and nodded, grabbing his bag and throwing it over his shoulder. We rode the elevator down to the ground floor and left the apartment, standing on the street. We hailed a cab and got in, and I told him to take us to Pearson International airport. The ride was alright. Not that I was paying much attention to Niall anyways, because I was too busy being lost in my own thoughts. I thought about what I had given him, what was tucked away in his bag. With that one item, I was putting Niall in the crossfire of a war that was sure to break out because of it. It didn't matter, I was standing alone. Nearly twenty minutes later, we arrived at the airport. We got out, and Niall paid the driver for me. I waited on the sidewalk as Niall grabbed his bag from the trunk. I watched all the people around us, some reuniting with their loved ones, others, saying good-bye. There were tears of joy and sadness, and I wasn't sure which emotion I was feeling. I felt Niall's hand tug against mine, and I looked at him. He nodded his head toward the door, and we both walked in. Niall waited in line while I stood a few feet away. Once he checked in and his bag was taken away, he walked back over to me. I tried smiling to him, but I just couldn't. My face was frozen in a depressed state and it wasn't going anywhere.

"You can leave if you want," he said.

I shook my head, "I'll walk with you until security."

He nodded and turned slowly and began walking with me. We walked slowly through the walkways and gates, all in silence. Being stumped for conversation was something that usually didn't happen to me, but with Niall, I found myself over-thinking things and questioning all reason.

His fingers brushed against my hand, and I looked up to him to see him eyeing our hands nervously. I figured since it was do-or-die time, I could let this happen. I was weak when it came to him. I opened the palm of my hand and our fingers interlaced with one another's, and he gripped my hand tight. We continued walking until we finally made it to his gate and security check. Once we stopped walking, he turned and stood in front of me, his hand still in mine. I didn't know what we were supposed to say to one another, like what kind of good-bye this was going to turn out to be. If I was supposed to fall into his arms and cry my heart out, begging him not to go, or to simply shake his hand and wish him good luck in life. Either way, it's a good-bye that I really didn't want to have...

"I don't know what to say," he told me quietly.

I smirked playfully, "same."

"I don't want to ruin this by saying what I'm feeling."

I bit my lip and nodded, "it's kind of already ruined, don't you think?"

He stroked his fingers against my hand, sending a nervous chill down my spin.

"Can we not ruin this, please?"

Like I said, it was already ruined, and it was going to take more than a couple of days for this damage to be repaired, but I nodded anyways and held tightly onto his hand.

"Oh, I uh, have something for you," he said, letting go of my hand and opening his carry-on backpack. He pulled out a white envelope and opened my purse and put it in, "don't open it until I leave, please?"

"Okay, I won't."

I pulled on his hands again, stepping toward him. He looked nervous for a moment, but once I put my arms around his neck and pulled him against me, he relaxed. I held his body close against mine, and he held me tightly as well. He let out a huge breath against my skin, causing me to feel weak for a moment. It was sickening how he still got underneath my skin like this. I should be able to stay strong, to have more willpower against him than what I was showing, but I didn't. I was weak, a failure, a disgrace to women everywhere, letting my cheating ex off the hook so easily. He had what I wanted, and I didn't even know what that was.

His hands dropped a little to my waist, gripping me tightly. It hurt a little, but I didn't wince, because I know he wouldn't _physically_ hurt me in any way on purpose. I felt his lips graze my ear before he whispered, "I miss us."

I held back the urge to fall right into things with him right then and there. I needed to stay strong. I cupped the right side of his neck and moved my head so that I was able to see him. I kissed his cheek, longer than I should have, but I couldn't resist feeling the familiarity of an action that I used to do all the time. Once my lips left his skin, I rested my forehead against his cheek, eyes closed, feeling everything. My hands on him, his hands gripping me in a tight embrace, and his breath hitting my shoulder.

"You have to go," I told him quietly.

He nodded against me, and I felt a rush of cold air hit my skin where his hands left it's burning sensation. I let go of him and stepped away before he turned away from me, heading straight to Security. I began walking away, but I looked back only once, to see him walking through the metal detector. I decided to leave. I couldn't go with him, and as I walked away and left the building, I realized that I was walking away from the one guy in my life with whom I had the most destructive, crazy, messed up, lovely and undeniably wonderful relationship with. I caught a cab and headed back to the empty apartment. I had no idea if Mom was going to be home, but my guess was that she wouldn't be. Once I made it home and paid the driver, I slowly made my way up to my apartment. My body felt heavy and weak, like I'd just been sucked into a whirlpool and was left treading water for 6 hours. I dragged my body into the apartment, shutting the door. I walked to my room and flopped on the bed, my nose instantly being filled with Niall's scent that clung to my sheets. I turned my head and grabbed the remote, turning on the tv. I scrolled through a few channels before coming across a Soccer game, so I left it on.

_Ireland vs. England_.

The irony was just too magnificent! Two teams, one Irish, one English, vying to win a game that always left more people upset and broken than cheerful. I thought about it, the contrast between the game and my love life. Irish lad Niall, English lad Harry, fighting with one another for the prize; me. I'd rather win a vacation to some tropical island, because I wasn't worth the fuss. What was it about the two of them that I couldn't choose between? Two very different boys, with amazing things to offer any girl, well, except the whole cheating thing. If we scratch that out, then everything's fine.

Honestly, I'm sick of hearing myself think. My constant whining about how complicated everything is, when it was always my fault to begin with. I had chosen to go back and forth between them, and lead Liam on, and leave them all hanging. Maybe I just got off on the whole thrill of it all. The chase was exhilarating. Maybe some of us just weren't meant to be tied down by commitment. I just wasn't meant for anyone, I don't think.

I reached and grabbed my bag, hearing a light crinkling sound. Then I remembered, Niall's envelope he had given me. I sat up quickly, opening my purse and ripping the envelope open. It felt thick in my hands and my nerves went crazy. Was this the good-bye letter? Apparently there were things that Niall couldn't say as well. I flipped it over and read what he wrote on the front.

_If you ever feel lonely_

My heart raced at what he had written, and so I flipped the envelope to the back and opened it up. Once I broke the seal, I carefully grabbed the thick paper in my hand and pulled it up and out of the envelope slowly, my eyes wide. This was... Spectacular...

I read the lettering on them once, twice, ten times and every time it was the same, two round-trip plane tickets to _Mullingar, Ireland_. Any time I wanted, even a year from now, if I wanted, I could escape my hell and head back _home_, to him. I could see Mum and Dad and Jon, and feel the presence of a real Family once again. All the memories of Ireland came flooding back into my mind, overwhelming me as I caressed the tickets in my hands. Tears of happiness escaped me, and I didn't stop them. It felt great to cry, like I needed to let out everything that's inside me, even things that I didn't even know that I felt.

I knew Niall was trying hard, and no doubt he felt as if he was now batting a thousand, giving me free passes for me to head home, but you know, it was working. I couldn't just forgive him for cheating on me because he was trying to help me be happier, because he and I had so much work to do. The trust definitely wasn't there anymore so I didn't know if it was smart to try and rebuild a relationship with him, or just the dumbest idea that's ever come into my head.

I stood off my bed, leaving the tickets on my bed. I walked to my drawers, pulling out comfy clothes to wear, because now I was alone, and I could wallow and be emotionally distraught in my comfortable go-to clothes. As I pulled out the drawer that _once_ earlier held the comfiest sweater I could have ever worn, I reached in and grabbed my grey track pants and a black t-shirt. It was time to pick a new sweater to wear.

Cheering came from the TV and I looked up from my dresser to see giant crowds in the stadium screaming and applauding; _Ireland had won_.

**Hi guys! So, this chapter blows and I know it so for my sanity's sake, please DO NOT be that cruel to me in the reviews if you leave some. This shit chapter took me way too long to write for you guys, and I'm seriously sorry. I had a rough weekend full of work and couldn't finish anything, and just had a week where nothing was going in my favor, so I was too mad to write. Though, the next Chapter (I'm praying) will be so much better than this crap. You guys deserve better than what I just gave you, so I'm going to do so much better.**

**Leave a review?**


	25. Give Me Love

After a restless couple of nights of zero sleep, I woke up exhausted. The silence of the apartment was tearing me apart. No Harry, no Niall... I was alone. Mom wasn't coming home for God knows how long. It was now noon, and again, I had nothing to do. I got up and rubbed my eyes before heading into the kitchen. I poured myself juice. I didn't eat anything. I didn't really want to because since yesterday when Niall left, I was feeling tired and sorry for myself. I couldn't shake the depression that had taken over my body. It dug into every nerve and nestled it's darkness comfortably within. It's left a hollow place inside me. Niall and I had been texting quite a bit, trying to regain the momentum of our shaken relationship. I admit, talking to him again was great, and while I knew that I was quickly falling back into a dangerous situation with him, my heart was leaping feet first off the building and into a pool of forgotten emotion.

The emotional grind that my life has now become has set my teeth on edge, but then I think about how I can somehow make this right, and it helps me control the chaos. I made my way back to my room and lay on my bed, facing all the photos on my wall. I couldn't help but stare at the ones of Niall and I. Such a happy couple I _thought_ we were. Turns out I didn't know jack shit. I was wrong about him, about us, about what I thought we could have shared. I wonder if we could ever get it back again. As I relaxed against my bed, I heard my phone ringing. I groaned a little but scooted my bum over to my nightstand and picked up my phone, flipping the screen over. My heart raced agonizingly fast as I read the caller I.D. I was officially screwed.

_Incoming Call from Harry Styles_.

***Harry's POV***

All of us were home now, for the rest of the week anyway. I was hoping to catch a flight to see my girl, but she hadn't texted me back much or answered any of my calls. I worried sick all weekend until I got one lonely text from her, saying not to worry. Of course I worried about her, I cared about her too much. _Way_ too much. I felt sick to my stomach with happiness whenever I thought about her, and when I saw her I could barely wipe the giant smile that always graced my face.

All of us had been trying to get ahold of Niall for three days, but he didn't answer us. He just left after our last performance and we haven't heard from him since. I was beginning to worry about him as well. Not that he was hurt, but that he went out and took a huge leap of faith...

I was now on my way to his house, hoping that he was there. If not, I'd definitely ask him Mum where he ran off to, and I hoped that if I asked, the answer that I'd hear wouldn't be what I was thinking. I couldn't help but let my imagination wander. What if Niall had snuck off for a few days and flew out to see Lezile, my baby? What if they'd rekindled their flame that had long ago burnt out? What if they had... reunited in a sacred way that bonded them forever? Jesus Christ, Harry, you're losing it. Once I made it to Niall's house, I made my way out of the car quickly and up to his door. As I knocked, my stomach twisted, though I didn't know why. As I stood there out on their porch, all alone, I felt as if I was alone in myself. I wonder how Niall felt about us still being mates, considering our last conversation at the X-Factor house didn't end very well.

The door opened and I opted for my best smile to his Mother.

"Harry! What a surprise, how are you?"

"I'm doing well, thanks, um, is Niall around?"

"Yes, he is! He's upstairs in his room, go on up."

"Thanks," I smiled, walking past her and up the stairs. I made my way down the hall to Niall's room, where I could hear him playing his guitar. I knocked quietly, unsure if I should even make it known that I was here. The guitar strumming stopped and I heard, "yeah, come in!"

I opened the door slowly and peeked my head through. Niall caught sight of me and looked down quickly, before standing up and setting his guitar to the side.

"Hey man," he said quietly.

"Hey," I replied, walking fully into his room.

"What brings you here?"

"I haven't seen you in a bit, I was kinda worried. You wouldn't answer any messages, from any of us."

He scratched the back of his neck and looked around the room, "yeah, sorry. I uh, was busy."

I looked down at my feet and scuffed them on his floor, "look, Niall, I'm sorry for when I yelled at you before, about Lezile. You gotta understand what you did was horrible, and it shocked us all, you know?"

He nodded, "yeah, I know. I'm hating myself too."

I sighed and stepped toward him, "I still think you should te-"

"I told her."

I swallowed hard. He told her? When the hell were they talking to one another?

"Um.. what'd she say?"

"She wasn't exactly happy with me."

"I have no doubt. Maybe I could talk to her for you, get her to think about forgiving you?"

I knew I shouldn't have said what I did, but part of me felt bad for Niall. He was suffering because he screwed over an amazing girl who cared about him so much.

"Harry.."

He stared straight into my eyes, looking saddened and burdened. He licked his lips and shuffled his feet.

"What?"

"There's something I need to tell you."

"What the hell's going on?"

"I'm just going to come right out and say it," he said, running his hands through his hair, "I went and saw her on the weekend."

I was stunned. I took a step back from him and took a deep breath, "you went to see her? My girlfriend, you went to see her and didn't tell me?"

"I had to see her, Harry.."

"You _had_ to? What, did you have some force pulling you toward her?"

"Yeah, basically."

"Basically. Basically? What the hell happened? Tell me everything."

"You won't like it."

"At this point, I already don't. Tell me," I spat viciously at him.

"I showed up and I told her straight up what I did. She cried, and yes, I felt like I was dying when I saw how hurt she was. She yelled at me," he shook his head and let out a deep breath, "and I had never felt so broken in my whole life."

"What else. I know that's not it."

He looked back up to me seriously, "when she cried, I held her. I held her to me, Harry, and I comforted her after I basically _broke_ her. I slept on the couch the first night, but she came out and got me and took me into her room."

I swallowed hard, preparing myself for what he was going to say next.

"Nothing happened, we just slept next to one another. I thought about it. I hoped, actually, but I didn't want to pressure her."

"You didn't want to pressure her... Not that you cared that she's still with me."

"The next day we went out to breakfast and just screamed at each other for most of the day," he shook his head. I felt my hands clench into fists as he continued, "and then we went back to her apartment, I just held her, and I cried to her because I couldn't bare that she couldn't forgive me. We slept in her bed again that night and I... I wrapped her in my arms, and it was like nothing changed."

I felt myself boil over with rage at his words. He held her. He was acting like how I was with her. Like how the old him was with her.

"Are you kidding me right now? You held my girlfriend in your arms? _My_ girlfriend?"

He stared into my eyes and smiled proudly, "yeah, I did. She was mine first, Haz, and she will always be mine."

"I don't know who you think you are or what you think you're doing, Niall, but nothing's changed between her and I. It's not going to."

His smirk faltered a little bit, but he kept it, "are you sure about that?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember Clare?"

I swallowed dryly and looked around his room, letting my mind go back to her, "yeah, I do."

He sarcastically flicked his hand toward me, "I assumed you would, considering how you stole her from me."

I didn't look at him, I just kept staring at my feet.

"And do you remember how you constantly tried to flirt with her while she and I were together? And every chance you got you would treat her like I did, and she fell for your shit."

"She was supposed to be with me, not you."

"Yet she was with me, until _you_ came along and put on that stupid cocky charm of yours, and she went for it, and you just couldn't leave it alone."

"I couldn't just leave it alone, man!" I told him, staring straight into his eyes.

"Oh yeah, and why the hell not, Haz?"

"I was in love with her, that's why! What the hell was I supposed to do, just sit there and watch her be with you?"

He pointed both his index fingers straight at me, "there."

I closed my mouth and kept it shut. I had given him exactly what he wanted to hear. He just shook his head.

"After everything we'd been through, I couldn't believe you did that to me," he said.

"So now what? You're just going take Lezile back to get even with me?"

"It's not about that."

"Then what is it, Niall? Please, enlighten me on why you're fucking up my relationship royally!"

"Because _I_ love her!" He shouted at me.

His words stopped me cold. Niall loves her. He _loves_ her. Head over heels, consuming, can't live without her love. My fists clenched tightly, nearly stopping the blood circulation in my hands.

"You love Lezile?"

He stared at me straight in the eyes, "with every fiber of my being. I want her, Harry. All of her, I need her back."

"You don't love her."

"What?" He asked sharply.

"You don't love her."

He stepped toward me, fists clenched tight together, "I love her, Harry. You're just going to have to accept this."

"Do you really think she cares for you back? That she'll _ever_ forgive you after what you did? She hates you, Niall. She'll never take you back. She's with me."

"What were you doing while I was with her all weekend? Where were you? When you didn't get a call or text back, didn't you even think that I'd be with her? Holding her, while you were here, _alone_?"

"You're pushing it, Niall," I said through clenched teeth.

He took another step toward me, the space between us getting smaller, but the tension was growing.

"Do you really think she cares for you like she does for me? I can take care of her, and you can't, Harry."

"Stop."

He took another step, "I love her, and you are nothing to her."

"I'm her boyfriend," I spat harshly at him.

"You're nothing to her. I know how she feels about you, and it's _nothing_ like how she feels for me."

"And how would you know? Did she tell you? Does she like you, _cheater_?"

"I made a mistake, but she'll see past that and see how much I care for her. I'm not going to lose her again, and I'm not going to let you win over me again."

"Do you even care about her? Or is this just about getting back at me?"

"It's about love, Harry. Something that you stole from me last time, but this is a core-shaking love, and I'm not letting it go."

"Maybe you should and accept the fact that her and I are together," I gritted my teeth and pushed against his chest, "piss off and stay away from her before I make you."

"She doesn't want you near her."

"What are you talking about now?"

"You're over, Harry," he chuckled in my face, "and I had no part of it. It was all her."

I searched both of his eyes, but I couldn't tell if he was lying to me or not. My heart raced fast and my palms began to sweat, "you're lying."

He stepped back from me and toward his dresser. He opened up the door and pulled out a sweater. My sweater. The Jack Wills one I had given Lezile at the airport.

"Why do you have that?" I asked, venom dripping from my tongue.

He turned back toward me and stared at the sweater, "she gave it to me, told me to give it back to you. She can't keep doing this Harry."

"You stole the sweater so you could attempt to convince me that she wants to break up with me? Nice one, I didn't think that you could stoop any lower."

"I didn't take it, she gave it to me, to give to you," he argued.

"You just can't stop lying, can you?"

He stepped angrily toward me and shoved the sweater hard at me, his face close, "it's _over_, Harry. You're not together anymore. It's done."

I felt myself ignite with anger at his words. She was fine, no, _we_ were fine until he went down there and saw her, screwing everything up for us. It was all his fault. I shoved on his chest hard, my sweater falling on the floor between us. He looked shocked for a second before his eyes turned dark.

"You're gonna fight me, Haz? Beat me up to win her love?"

"It's pretty much come to that, hasn't it?"

He shrugged, "come get me, then."

I charged toward him and grabbed him by the throat, silencing him. I leaned him against his dresser and squeezed harder. He didn't flinch, he just stared into my eyes, his face becoming red. I could feel the anger course through my blood as I held my hands tight around him, my fury getting the best of me. I could feel his throat constricting under my hands, but I just couldn't stop. I felt a blow to my stomach, and I released his neck, hunching over and grabbing at my stomach. I heard him cough, his voice sounding hoarse. I titled my head to look at him, and I felt his fist connect with my jaw. I fell to the ground and held my face in my hands, my stomach hurting with every breath I took.

"You're gonna choke me Harry? In my own house?" He breathed out.

I coughed and picked myself up off the floor, grabbing my sweater.

"This isn't over, you and me," he threatened, stepping away.

I wiped the blood from my lip and pointed straight at him, "we're through."

He shook his head, "great, fine with me!"

I wiped the blood on my pants and licked my lip, "you screwed me over, Niall. We're done."

I turned and made my way out of his room, holding my jaw with my hand. I practically ran out of his house so his Mum wouldn't catch me, and into my car. I started it up and drove down the street. I pulled over and reached into my pants and grabbed my cell phone. As I dialed her number, I started at my lip in the mirror, licking away the blood, the iron taste burning my tongue.

"Hello?" She answered, practically whispering.

"I never meant anything to you!" I shouted.

I heard her sigh, "Harry, I'm so sorry. I was going to pho-"

"No you weren't. You sent Niall and had him do your dirty work for you. Did you have a nice sleepover with him, his arms around you, while I sat at home, all alone, thinking about _you_?"

She was silent for a few seconds, "I never wanted to hurt you, Harry."

"Don't lie to me. You never cared. You ripped my heart out!"

"You and I.. are better as friends, not lovers."

"And you think you and Niall are? He'll never care for you like I do!"

I could feel my eyes well with tears and I didn't try to keep them in. I needed to cry. I needed to feel pain.

"I don't know," she choked out.

"I can't believe the time I wasted with you, when your heart was never in this."

"It was! I tried, Harry, I really did, but-"

"Niall."

"I don't know what it is Harry, but I can't. I just found out what Niall did and I.. I just don't know what to do."

"Sounds like you've already made up your mind, and it doesn't involve me."

"I want you in my life! I know we couldn't make it as a couple, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you at all."

I shook my head, shaking the tears from my eyes, letting them hit my arms. I was choking up and I couldn't breathe. I was smothering myself.

"I can't believe..," I whispered.

"Harry? I can't hear you. Please, you're worrying me."

I lifted my head and took in a huge breath before letting it out, "I can't believe I'm back here again."

I could hear her breathing, but no words came out. When her voice finally came over the phone, it was in a barely audible whisper, "I'm sorry, Harry."

Then all I heard was the dial tone. I closed my eyes and brought the phone down from my ear and hit the end button. I wiped the tears that had left burn marks on my cheeks and took a huge breath. I opened them and the world in front of me looked different. It looked plain, boring, and bleak. There was no colour left in it. The happiness and wonder had been sucked out of it. I was back in the place that I thought I'd never be back in again, emotional hell.

***Lezile's POV***

I sat staring at the floor, eyes unmoving, chest rising and falling with every breath I took. I couldn't get the sound out of my head; of Harry crying. I could hear it in his voice. I could hear the broken feeling. I had caused that, again. I had ruined him once more, and yet again, the guilt I felt was tremendous. I wouldn't be able to offer him my friendship to get him out of this one. This was a longer relationship than the first time. It was more intimate, and now I know I've dug a grave so deep that I need to bury myself in it. My phone buzzed once more and my heart practically leapt out of it's chest. If it was Harry phoning again, getting ready to yell at me once more, I wasn't sure my heart could take it. I flipped over my phone and saw a new text from Niall.

_I'm here for you. Talk to me if you need to._

I sighed heavily and looked around my room, my eyes landing on the collage of pictures on my wall. I got up and angrily made my way over to the wall. I stared at them all, all the happy smiling faces looking down on me. I marked my targets and began quickly pulling them off, each picture getting ripped off the wall harder than the one before it. I grunted angrily as the sound of tape ripping off the wall echoed through my whole room, sending my emotions into a tailspin. I continued ripping them all off until my body slowly stopped itself. There was _one_ photo left hanging. As I stared into the picturesque eyes in front of me, I texted back,

_Phone me._

I continued looking into the baby blues and all my problems felt as if they had lifted, like I had found an answer to all the shit I caused. As I continued staring, my phone went off, and without tearing my eyes from the photograph, I lifted the phone to my ear and clicked the green button, hearing soft breathing on the other end.

**Hey everyone! SORRY it took me forever to update this damn thing, but I just had a super busy week, millions of things going on, so I didn't have any time to write this. I hope you guys like it, and if you do, review? Or message me? I absolutely love hearing from you all.**

**And to the anon, about Chapter 17, I have NO idea why it has the "I.." on there! I tried taking it off, but it wouldn't get deleted. It's not meant to be there! Sorry about the confusion. **

**Leave some lovely reviews, you lovely people!**


	26. Total Eclipse of The Heart

It had been a week since the big blow up between me and Harry, and since then I've barely left my bed, let alone my apartment. My Mom had come home, only to ignore me still. I didn't feel like eating anything, so I felt like crap most of the time because my stomach begged for food. I just couldn't eat. I felt like shit, even though I knew that this is what I wanted. I just didn't think that it would have affected Harry so badly. The way I heard him cry over the phone haunted me, like a ghost that I just couldn't shake, and there was no way to fix this.

I had been talking to Niall constantly, and the nerves in my stomach only pained me harder because I knew that the feelings that I had tried to block out for him had come back and hit me full force. I hadn't told him, of course, because I hadn't quite decided how true my feelings were, and if I was going to accept them or push them away. Still true of what I believed; once a cheater, _always_ a cheater. Though he constantly told me that it would never happen again. That he would try his _best_. Right, his best. I was unsure if I could make a commitment to a guy who had once broke that meaning all over again. Some people are worth suffering for, and maybe I had found him. My heart kept telling me that this person was Niall. I hadn't told him that I'd been basically starving myself and wallowing in my own self pity, because with the way he is, he would have flown back here only to kick my ass then shove food down my throat, despite the fact that we still weren't together. The time here was a little past 5 and I knew that the X Factor episode would have been on TV by now, considering the time difference. I didn't know if I should watch it, because I don't know how I'd handle looking at all of them, especially Harry. Louis probably hated me now because of how I've toyed with his friends feelings, basically screwing up their friendships. It was hard not talking to Louis. I missed him horribly, but I didn't know if he wanted to talk to me, so I never called him or texted.

I breathed out heavily before deciding to drag my disgusting, tired, worn out, starved body out of bed. I almost fell as soon as my feet touched the floor. I had barely left that comfortable haven for nearly a week now, my adolescent depression grabbing a hold of me tightly. I didn't even dare to look in the mirror, because the reflection would have been the Grim Reaper staring back at me. I decided to drag my tired body into the shower, because I can't even remember the last time I washed my body, and the thought alone disgusted me to my very core. I pulled my hair out of my ponytail and ran my fingers through it, letting it hang loose, the feeling quite freeing. I turned on the hot water and inhaled deeply as the temperature rose and the steam began to fill the bathroom. I undressed and tossed my dirty clothes into a secluded pile near the door. As I stepped in and closed the sliding door, the water hitting me instantly made me feel better. As I cleaned my entire body, it strangely felt like all my bad feelings had lifted, as if the water was seriously cleansing me of all of my problems. It was odd to think about it that way, but it made sense. I didn't have to worry about Harry, he was a big boy and definitely wasn't the first boy to ever be broken up with, so he'll get over it.

As for Niall, his constant loving and caring messages, and just being his general self, was making me question everything I knew. It was as if nothing had ever happened to us, like we were the exact same. I knew that we had to work on our trust, but I just couldn't pin point what I was feeling for him. It was crazy. Now, we were texting a lot, and even calling one another, casual conversations and everything, but the second we stopped texting or a phone call ended, I missed him. I always wanted him near me, and if I did have him with me, I'd probably never let him go. I wanted to spend all of my time with him, but have absolutely nothing to do with him at the same time. He was sending me into a head spin of overwhelming feelings that were just too overpowering to figure out. I gave myself migraines most of the time, trying to figure out what was going on in the internal struggle between my heart versus my head.

Once I was fully clean from head to toe, I turned off the water and stepped out, reveling in the new feeling. I wrapped my hair in a towel, and one around my body. I picked up my clothes and stepped out of the bathroom, the cool air of the apartment nipping at my hot skin, sending prickling chills along my body. I hustled into my room, tossing the dirty clothes in my laundry basket, before settling down on my bed and opening my laptop. I opened it up and opened the internet, heading over to the X-Factor site. My heart began racing as I scrolled down the homepage until my eyes came across a heartbreaking article.

_One Direction's time on X-Factor has come to an end._

My heart pounded hard against my chest as I clicked on the link, trying to catch a breath as it opened. The page loaded, and I saw a heartbreaking photo of the boys crying. Harry's was the worst, his head was hung low and he was trying to cover his face. I instantly felt sick to my stomach as I read.

_X-Factor's infamous contestant band, One Direction, were eliminated in the semi-final tonight, leaving only Matt Cardle and Rebecca Ferguson in the standing to win the title of X-Factor. It was an emotional elimination as their coach Simon Cowell joined the boys on stage and shared his feelings about the band, "this is just the beginning for these boys."_

_The boys of One Direction pulled up their spirits to let everyone know that they aren't going anywhere anytime soon. Amongst the tears and sad fans and judges, we all know that there is nowhere for these boys to go but up, and this isn't the last we will see of them._

I shook my head uncontrollably as I read the article. I read it over and over and _over_ again, but I just couldn't believe it. They were out. They didn't win. I could barely form a thought in my mind before I grabbed my phone and dialed Niall's number. The ringing in my ear from the phone was matching the pounding beat of my heart. I hadn't come up with anything to say to him.

"Hey you," he answered.

"I'm sorry," I blurted it. It wasn't my best opening line, but it's what my mind made me say.

He laughed lightly, "thank you, but it's okay."

"It's not okay though, I was so sure you guys were going to win. I can't.. I just, I don't know what to say."

"How about Congratulations?"

"For losing..?"

"No," he chuckled, "Lezile, we just signed a record deal!"

"What!" I screamed. Only a minute ago did I just find out that they lost X-Factor, and now he's telling me that they've been signed? "Why didn't you phone me! How? Why? When?"

"I couldn't phone you! It happened right after we found out we lost. It's Modest that we've been signed by! We start writing and recording later in the year!"

"Wha-I...uh, oh, great!"

He simply laughed into the phone, "imagine how we feel right now!"

"I'm so proud and happy for you," I admitted, "I'm smiling like a bloody idiot right now."

"Thanks! I'm really happy you phoned me, it's just made this night better, and do you realize what you just said?"

"I'm proud of you..?"

"You said 'bloody idiot,'" he laughed, "we're rubbing off on you."

I smiled and bit my lip, "I guess so."

"I am still upset that we didn't win, but I know that things are going to work out for all of us."

"I think so too. You guys were meant for this, I know it. How's everyone handling it?"

"Everyone's handling it okay, I suppose. It's a lot to take in, in one night. Lou's the worst, I think."

I felt my heart break a little at his words, "is he there? Can I talk to him?"

"Yeah, one second."

I waited a little and then Niall came back on the phone, "here he is!"

"Niall, wait!"

"Yeah?"

I swallowed hard, "I'm proud of you. I miss you."

I could practically hear the smile in his voice, "thanks, and I really miss you too," he replied, and then there rustling on the other line.

"Lezile?"

"Hi Lou," I smiled at his enthusiasm.

"My God, babe, it's been forever since I've talked to you!"

"I know, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, we've all been busy. Is it weird that I missed the sound of your voice?"

I shook my head and smiled, "not at all. I missed the sound of your voice too. I miss you in general."

"Me too, Hun. So... I heard you and Curls are over?"

"Yup, so if you never want to speak to me again, I understand."

"Whoa, what's that all about?"

"He's your best friend, Lou, I wouldn't be surprised if you took his side and hated my guts."

"Listen, I love the both of you, and it sucks you didn't work out, I guess, but I'm not about to hate on you."

"Really?"

"Yes, I love ya, girl."

I smiled wide, "I love you too, Lou."

"So are you and Niall..."

"Not back together."

"Yet."

I sighed, "Louis!"

"What! I know how he feels about you, and it's obvious that you still feel for him because you broke it off with Harry. I'm not blind, love."

"I don't know why either one of them want anything to do with me, honestly."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Well, you're beautiful, for starters. You're an amazing person, and it's just that you care about us all. It's the way that you try and hide the real you from people, but you slowly let them in, like you did for us, and I think the real you is quite spectacular. I happen to really love your eyes, they're gorgeous, and I sound like a sap, but anyone, including me could stare into them for hours."

"Stop, Lou," I told him, playfulness in my tone. I began blushing.

"Everything I said is true."

"None of it is true, so I don't know why I'm lucky enough to have you guys in my life."

"You're a beautiful person."

"I'm not."

"You don't know you're beautiful, but you are."

I shook my head, "if you say so."

"Victory! I always win, love."

"When are you guys going home?"

"We'll head out later tonight, early morning flight."

I nodded, "I wish I could see you guys."

"We all wish that too. Well, except Harry, I guess," he laughed.

I groaned and rubbed my forehead, "yeah, he's probably hired a hit man to come after me."

Louis' tone turned serious, "he just really cared for you, you have to understand."

"Oh trust me, I definitely understand."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about all the Niall drama."

"What fun it is!"

"Lou, come and pack, damnit!" I heard someone shout in the background.

"Alright, don't get your knickers in a twist!" He shouted back.

I laughed aloud and Louis joined in with me, "Zayn's getting antsy, I better go."

"Alright, bye Lou."

"Bye, Lezile. Love you!"

"Love you too," I replied, and the line went dead.

I pressed the end button and chewed on my lower lip. I tossed the phone back on the bed and stood up and took off the towel that was wrapped around my head. I shook my hair loose and parted it. Since it was already past 6 now, I figured a fresh outfit was completely pointless. I pulled out a pair of shorts and a black t-shirt and changed. I spent some time thinking about what had happened to the boys tonight, their amazing night, and what Louis had said to me. I blow-dried and brushed my hair. I crawled into bed and stared around my room. It still had most of the pictures that used to hang on my all strung around on the floor. All of the pictures except the one of Niall and I when we were on the Ferris Wheel. That night, was the happiest I remember being in Ireland. When everything had fallen into place, and he and I were perfect and those were the best feelings I could have ever felt.

Hearing his happy voice tonight made my heart swell and my palms sweat. I had no idea what was happening. When I thought about him, it felt as if my body had come down with the flu. I decided to find out an answer. I tip-toed out of my room and walked down the little hallway to the dining area. Mom was sitting at the table, hunched over a load of papers.

I cleared my throat quietly, "Mom?"

She looked up at me slowly and looked a little nervous, "is everything alright?"

"I uh, just have a quick question for you."

She sat back in her chair and looked at me intently, waiting.

I took a quick breath before blurting out my question, "how did you know you loved Dad?"

She looked taken aback by my question, because we never spoke about Dad anymore. Ever since the divorce, she made it a house rule that we pretend that he died or moved halfway across the world or something.

"I don't want to talk about that."

"Mom, please. I never ask you for anything, okay? I never bug you. I just want you to answer me that one question."

She sighed heavily before clasping her hands together, "he was different. He made me feel like I mattered and that I was actually worth something. I missed him when he wasn't around and I wanted to spend all of my time with him. I felt my heart practically leap out of my chest every time I saw him. I can never describe to you how much I loved and cared for him. It was this intense feeling that I carried around with me all of the time, and it never went away. It was a deep connection that we had, and I knew that nobody else understood it, but they didn't need to, because in my heart I knew he was where I belonged. Wherever he was, was where I wanted to be. He was home for me."

She shook her head, "but once he cheated on me, I felt like I was destroyed."

"Did he ever ask for you to take him back?" I asked.

She nodded, "he asked quite a few times, but I didn't know if I could have handled it. I wanted to, but I didn't trust him. So he moved on, and everyday I think about what would have happened if I would have said yes."

She looked into my eyes, and I could see the brokenness inside her. I could tell that my Dad was the love of her life, and once he was out of her life, she was finished. She would never love again. She wouldn't even love me.

"I'm not blind, Lezile. I have read the magazines that spoke about you and those boys in the UK, which I guess is why you're asking me about your Father. I know I'm not the best Mother, but it's because I believe that I don't even deserve to be one. I didn't deserve your Father, and I don't deserve to have you as a daughter. I'm a screw up."

She stood up from the table and slowly made her way over to me. I froze on the spot, I didn't know what to do. She looked scared for a moment, but she slowly wrapped her arms around me and held me tight. I stood there, frozen, unable to process this moment, but my mind soon left it's dazed state and my arms slowly wrapped around her, and I held her back with all my might. I buried my face against her shoulder.

She whispered into my ear, "this is your life and I won't stop you. Do what you need to do."

I held back my willingness to cry because this was about as emotional and intimate a Family moment between the two of us would ever get. This was foreign, hugging my own Mother. We barely spoke, but I feel that this would be the last time we probably ever would.

She let me go, and I forcefully had to let go of my grip on her. She took one last look at me before turning away and sitting back down at the table. I just stared at her for a few seconds, mentally filing that moment away in the back filing cabinet of my memory, because it was no doubt the only one we'd ever have. She shifted uneasily under my stare, and so I left her. I left all the moments that I knew we'd never have after that one.

I went back into my room and closed the door, laying back down on my bed. I closed my eyes, feeling the darkness, my mind blank. There was a familiarity in all the words that she spoke. There was sincerity, there was _hinting_. My heart pounded hard against my chest knowingly and my eyes shot open.

***The Next Day***

I had been pacing around my room for about an hour, biting my nails, hands going through my hair. My nerves pricked at every point of my body, making me on edge. It was noon, and every 30 seconds I would check the clock, feeling like hours had passed by. I breathed out heavily and stared at the paper on my dresser, then to the bags on my floor. My eyes went back and forth countless times and my heart kept pushing me that this was right. I rubbed my fingers together and the ecstasy feeling inside me grew, and the sour taste of excitement and nerves filled my mouth. I looked around my room, there was _no_ photos on my wall anymore. I realized that time was ticking and so I grabbed the pen next to the one small sheet of paper on my dresser. I wrote only one sentence. No more words were needed. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I smiled. A sincere, genuine smile. My hair was done straight, I had on just my cover up and usual mascara. I wore my lightweight tan Chinos with my white button up shirt and gray cardigan. This was it.

I put on my backpack and picked up my two bags before heading for my door. I stood there, staring into the room that I had come to know as home for far too long. It was empty now, there was no sign of me in it anywhere. I was lost, but I knew that I was going to find my way home somehow.

I left the apartment, and locked the door. I made my way out of the building and caught a cab. As the cab drove away and took me from my once safe haven, I realized that I had been unhappy for too long. I had found happiness, and now I was going to chase it. This was for me, for my sanity's sake, and it was too important to me. I'm young and I have to live my life while I still have the chance. If it's one thing that my Mother taught me, it was that chances will soon run out, and you have to do what you need to do to survive. Once I arrived, I paid the driver and got out and grabbed my bags. I stared up at the building and took in a huge breath, smiling to myself. I walked inside and checked in.

After awhile, I took my seat on route to my future. I set my backpack underneath my seat and buckled myself in, getting comfortable. I stared out the window as the engines roared to life, telling me that there was no turning back now. I thought about the note that I had left my Mom. She would come home to an apartment without a daughter and all the space she could dream of. All that I had written her was; _I need to go live my life, I have found my happiness_. As the plane soared above my Canadian territory, I said good-bye to the people I once knew, the Family I never really had, and the places that had been so familiar to me. It was sad, but now, I was going home.

Many hours later, I arrived home. The air was the same as when I left it and it felt so good to breathe it in again. It was now 11 o'clock at night, but I had never been so awake in all my life. I had grabbed my bags and made my way into a taxi, and as it drove me to the destination as I had once loved with all my heart, my body tingled in excitement. I kept smiling at the window as my brain remembered all the places that we had passed. It was as if nothing had ever changed, as if I had never really left. My body had left to Canada, but my soul had stayed in Ireland.

The cab stopped outside the house and I paid him and he helped me unload my bags. Once he drove away, I just stood there in the driveway, staring up at the house. Everything was the same. I half expected everything to be different, because in my mind, everything had changed, but really, this was a sign that I was meant to stay here. I pulled out my keys and picked up my bags and walked to the door. I still had the key to the house, and so I opened it. The air that rushed out of the house when the door swung open hit me like a ton of bricks. It smelt like I still remembered. It felt like I could taste the memories once again. I crept inside and closed it, locking it behind me. I took a moment to look around me. All the shoes by the door, the kitchen, the living room, everything. It all made my smile that much wider. I stared at the stairs in front of me and quietly made my way up them, and without hesitation, at the top, I turned to my right and went down the hallway to the very end. I slowly opened up the door and stepped inside. I set my bags down on the ground once I closed his door behind me. The blinds were open and the moonlight set a light glow in his room. I could see his figure sleeping comfortably in his bed. He was sleeping on his side. I smiled wide and took off my cardigan and my shoes and set them on my bags.

I crawled on his bed lightly and moved my body right against his, wrapping my arm around his torso. He stirred and turned his head toward me, his eyes slowly opening.

"Hey," I whispered.

He stared at me for a few seconds, most likely unable to realize that I was really here and that he wasn't dreaming.

"What's going on?" He whispered.

"I flew back home," I smiled, resting my chin on his arm.

"You flew back here? Why?"

"I realized something."

He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and turned his body so that he was facing me. He looked at me nervously, and my heart was pounding so hard in my chest that I was sure he could hear it. I smiled at him before admitting what I'd known all along.

"I love you."

He let out a breath before curling his lips up in a smile. He cupped my cheek and stroked my skin lightly with his thumb, his touch leaving a burning sensation on my skin.

"I can't believe you flew back here to tell me that."

"Can you think of any better reason?" I smiled.

He pulled my body closer to his and I could feel his breath against my lips, "no, I can't."

I leaned my forehead against his and took in his familiar smell.

"I love you so much," he whispered back.

This was it. There was no turning back. The words were out now and we couldn't take them back, not that I would want to. I loved Niall with every fiber of my being and I wanted him to know, and the fact that he loves me back is the best feeling I'd ever felt in my entire life.

He leaned in toward me and I mimicked, capturing his lips in what I knew was the beginning of our redemption. It was slow and sweet and I wanted this feeling to last forever.

I pulled him close to me and he happily obeyed. I pulled on the bottom of his shirt and he broke the kiss. He looked deeply into my eyes, searching them both.

"I want this, Niall," I whispered.

He smiled lightly before raising up his arms, letting me take off his shirt. He did the same for me. We stared at one another for a few moments, and I knew that in that time, we were connected. I wasn't going to live this moment in fear, I was going to embrace it, and our time together, and love him unconditionally, like I knew he would for me.

I leaned forward and began unbuttoning his pants and he did the same for me. I kicked mine off and so did he. I pulled back to me and our lips were reunited again after being apart for way too long. I didn't think it was possible to miss someone so badly, but with Niall, it was. It was as if anything was possible. I trailed my hands down his chest and rested them at his boxers. He seemed to tense, but he didn't break our kiss. I pushed them down and he managed to kick them off himself. Nervously, I took mine off and he unhooked my bra. There we were, together and exposed. Our feelings were out in the open and we were about to make this real. There was no turning back and this was no mistake. I wanted this, us, and so did he. Our kiss slowed until it eventually stopped. I stared up into his eyes and he looked down at me with a worried expression.

"I'm scared," I whispered to him.

He nodded slowly, "me too."

He whispered that he loved me once more before his lips met mine again. I was scared about what we were about to do, and that we were diving back into this once again, but above being scared, I was happy. I was truly happy, and nothing was going to destroy that. I was finally home.

**Hi hi everyone! Soooooo here's another chapter for you. I hope it didn't majorly suck for you guys. If it does, then I apologize. Don't worry, it's NOT over. I've got many more chapters and ideas lined up for this story, so just say the word and I'll continue it for you! If not, then it's done here.**

**Leave some reviews, you beautiful people!**


	27. Got Me Good

"_**Even with your hair up, even in your sweat pants, even when you wake up without any make-up, I'm in love."**_

The sun shone brightly on my eyes, causing me to cringe them in agony. I blinked a few times before I opened them and let my pupils adjust to the change in luminescence. As I looked up at the ceiling I smiled to myself, replaying last night's adventure through my head. My night with Niall. I turned my head and saw him sleeping peacefully, his arm flung over my stomach. I held the sheet close to my body and continued looking at him. He was beautiful, in every single way, and what we had done together was even more beautiful than anything I could have ever dreamt up in my mind. I love him, and the euphoria I was happily living in was something I never wanted to fade. I slowly slipped out from under the sheet, and from his arm and tip-toed to my bags on the floor and opened them up. I put on underwear and a new bra and threw on my black track pants. I looked behind me to see if I had woken Niall up, but he was still fast asleep, head buried in his pillow. My eyes caught his grey long sleeve shirt hanging on his chair and I made my way over to it and slipped my arms through it, pulling it over me. It was cozy, and smelt just like him. I ran my fingers through my hair, making it look a presentable before I tied it up in a messy bun and crawled back onto his bed and over to him. He was lying on his stomach, and I crawled on top of him, slowly lowering my body onto his, before resting my head against the back of his shoulder. I reached for his hands and laced my fingers through his. I didn't want to leave him, not even for one second.

I felt him stir a little and he turned his head to face mine. I stayed where I was and smiled at him when he finally opened his eyes.

"Hi," I whispered.

He smiled and replied, "hi."

"How did you sleep?" I asked.

He groaned happily, "amazing."

His eyes turned worried quickly and seriously, he asked me, "how are you doing?"

I bit my lip, trying to mask my smile, "I'm wonderful," to which he replied with a wide smile.

I leaned my face toward his and connected my lips to his in one sweet, quick kiss. He slowly began turning his body over and I let go of his hands and pushed my body up from his. He turned over fully and was lying on his back when he pulled me back down on top of him. Our legs intertwined and he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. I let out a giant breath and let my body fall closer to his.

I craned my neck and looked up at him, "I love you."

He moved his neck so that he was able to look back down at me, "I love you too," he smiled wide.

I bit my lip and stroked his cheek before he took the chance and pushed his lips against my own. It was slow but filled with so much passion; a re-telling of last night's story. It was slow and sweet, and I relished in every moment of it. After a few more kisses, our lips parted, and we smiled at one another.

"I'm kind of hungry," I smiled.

"Let's go make something to eat," he replied. He let go of me and slipped out from under the sheet, walking to his dresser. He pulled out boxers and slid them on. I hopped off the bed and took his hand that he held out for me. We opened the door and walked out, and I was half expecting his Mum to be standing there, waiting, but she wasn't. I didn't hear any other noise in the house other than that of me and Niall.

"Where is everyone?" I asked as we walked down the stairs.

"No idea," he shrugged, looking around.

We went into the kitchen he helped pick me up and set me on the counter. I smiled down at him as he rubbed my legs lightly.

"You just sit and relax, I'll make us some breakfast," he told me, kissing the tip of my nose. He stepped away and began rummaging through the fridge, pulling out fruit and juice and putting them on the counter. I circled the island that was in the middle, taking everything back in. I missed stepping on this floor, touching the cabinets, breathing in the scent of familiar food and love. He pulled out mix from the cabinet for pancakes and I loved seeing him like this. Natural, in his own home, and me, well I felt at home just being around him. He was pushing things around in the cupboard and I hopped off the counter and went up behind him and placed my hands on the sides of his legs.

"Whatcha doing there, babe?" He asked.

I leaned my chin on the side of his arm and smiled, "oh, nothing," I droned out.

I let my hands travel up the side of his legs until I brought them up to his chest. He chuckled and squirmed under my touch. I let my fingers travel to his sides, and the light touch I left made him move around even more. I giggled at his actions.

"Alright, that's it!" He yelled, laughing. He spun around quick and wrapped his arms around the back of my waist before I was able to run away. I laughed loudly and wiggled my body around in his grip, trying to escape. His infectious laugh filled the room as he spun me around, holding me to him.

There was a crashing sound and we turned our heads to the doorway.

"Lezile?"

They all stared at me wide-eyed, mouths agape, and their bags strewn on the floor. Mum looked like she was going to faint. I felt Niall's grip loosen on my waist, but he didn't let go.

"Is it really you?" She choked out.

I felt myself well up with emotion, my eyes misting over as I nodded to her question. She smiled and took a nervous step towards me, and then another. I left Niall's grip and practically ran to her, into her open arms. I held her body tightly against mine, the familiar hug making me feel weak. I missed her. I missed _my_ Family, and the fact that she so obviously missed me as well was more than I could bare, or even ask for. Her letter to me telling me that she forgave me all those months ago made this real. She wasn't lying, and I'm sure her seeing me in the arms of her son was the cherry on top of her day.

"You're home?" She whispered, holding me tight.

I nodded against her, "I'm home."

I heard Jon snort, "women. Always crying."

"Shut your gob, Jon!" Niall yelled back.

"Boys," Dad said sternly.

I laughed to myself and let go of Mum, only to see her eyes drowning in a deep sea of blue. I looked behind her and saw Jon smiling at me. I pointed to him and crouched down a little, walking over to him with a huge smile on my face.

"You!" I smiled, picking him up and spinning him around. He laughed and once I set him down, he gave me the biggest hug I'd ever received. I looked over Jon's shoulder and saw everyone smiling at us, but Niall especially. He was leaning against the counter with the most loving look on his face, and I returned it back to him. Mum caught us looking at one another and looked between us before she spoke.

"You two are...?"

I let go of Jon and stood up as Niall made his way over to me. I was now a little uncomfortable with the fact that he was only in his boxers and we were standing in front of his Family. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me to him.

"Together," he finished for her.

She smiled incredibly wide and pulled us both in for a hug. She seemed relaxed now that she knew that everything that she wanted to happen had finally come true. It seemed that nothing had really changed between any of us, but in reality, everything had been flipped upside down and destroyed, but now, it was all repaired, with the new-found love that we had both found. Dad had picked up the bags that Mum had dropped and set them on the counter.

"Did you two just get up?" Mum asked, pulling away.

I nodded as Niall slipped his hand in mine, interlacing our fingers.

"You must be hungry, and I see Niall has naturally destroyed the kitchen trying to feed you both."

He rolled his eyes at her as she turned away from us, opening the bags up.

"Niall, you think you can go put some clothes on? None of us want to see that," Dad told him.

I tried to prevent the blush from creeping up onto my cheeks, but it was becoming difficult with my thoughts drifting to last night.

"Sure thing," he said happily, pulling me along behind him. I saw his parents both eye us as he dragged me away, and nervously I looked away from them. They must know. They could probably see it written all over my face. Dear God, they probably figured that we did it.

Niall pulled me into his room and shut his door behind us and he made his way to his dresser, pulling out a pair of grey track pants and a white t-shirt. I stood there, watching him, smiling like a complete idiot. I don't know why, but I just didn't want to tear my eyes away from him for even a second. He noticed me in the mirror and turned to face me, tossing his clothes on the bed. The nerves in my stomach twisted as he stepped toward me. He cupped the sides of my neck and quickly pressed his lips to mine. I fell against him instantly, holding his bare waist. I knew it was stupid to have a mini make-out session while the rest of his Family was downstairs, but I wasn't able to push him away, not that I wanted to anyways. He put more pressure into the kiss and I held his waist tighter. I didn't want to leave him, to be away from his warmth, but I had to push him away. I pushed lightly on his chest, and he reluctantly left my lips.

"Come on," he cooed, leaning back in.

I shook my head and pushed back on his chest, "you're Family is downstairs. They think you're getting dressed."

He pouted and groaned, "I don't like not being to touch you."

"You made it through months of not touching me, I think you can last a few minutes."

He sighed heavily but stepped away from me, pulling on his clothes. Once he was dressed, he grabbed his wallet from the dresser and put it in his sweatpants pocket.

"What are you doing with your wallet?"

"Let's go to the store and get some food, alright?"

I pointed toward the door, "what about your Family?"

"They'll understand," he smiled. He pulled out his phone and played around with it while I pulled on my shoes and tied my hair up in a high ponytail before taking his hand once more and heading down the stairs.

"Mum, we'll back in a bit!" Niall shouted, pulling me out the door. He closed it and we took off down the street, hand in hand, both looking a little rugged, if I may say.

"I'm really happy," he admitted, swinging our arms back and forth, "I can't believe I'm lucky enough to have you again."

"You are Irish, babe," I smiled.

"Doesn't mean I'm _always_ lucky."

"I just had to make sure I could handle this," I told him.

"I'm not going to be stupid enough to let you slip away again."

I smiled lightly, "let's just see where we go."

He was silent after that, and I could tell he was thinking about what I'd said. I couldn't help it, it just came out, but it was true. I didn't fully trust him after what he did, and no doubt he'd never let me see Harry ever again, not that Harry would want to be within fifty feet of me anyways, but there were still things that we had to discuss and work on. We weren't perfect, not even close.

We made it to the store and walked in, roaming around all the aisles. Niall had picked up some crisps and gummy candy and I was looking at the drinks in the back cooler.

"Lezile, come here for a second!"

I turned a little and Niall was standing at the far end of the aisle, looking straight at me.

"I haven't gotten the drinks yet though," I replied.

"It's okay, just come here for one sec," he smiled.

"But-"

"Please, just for one second."

He looked to his right and smiled before looking back to me. I sighed and walked down the aisle lazily to him.

"What's so important?" I groaned.

He stepped to the side and emerging from around the stack was none other than Louis. His hair had changed, it was still swept to the side, but it stood out in pieces. He smiled wide when he saw me and in a swift motion, scooped me up in his arms and hugged me tight. I hugged him back tightly, smiling from ear to ear. It had been too long since I'd seen him, and his hugs still felt the same as they always did. He set me down and hugged me even tighter, kissing my cheek.

"How'd you know I was here?" I asked excitedly.

"I may have texted him," I heard Niall say, smiling.

Louis broke contact from my cheek and smiled down at me, "how's my girl?"

"Better now!" I jeered, "my god, Lou, your hair!" I giggled.

"I know, I look even better now," he winked.

I ran my fingers across his hair, smiling hard, "yeah, you do, but you looked good with your old hair."

"New me, new style."

"I missed you," I told him.

"I missed you too, love, but now I can see you whenever, and that makes me happy!"

"I'll go get the drinks and let you two catch up," Niall said before kissing my cheek and leaving for the back of the store.

Louis watched him as he walked away, his face serious, "you know if he hurts you again, I don't care if he's my mate, I'll have to kill him."

"It's okay, Lou."

"No, it's not. I wanted to hurt him so badly when he cheated on you."

"It's fine now, don't worry about it."

"I worry about you, you know I do."

I smirked and rubbed the sides of his arms, "I know you do, and I worry about you."

He laughed, "What could you have to worry about me for?"

"I'm worried that your silly antics will get you into trouble one day."

"Oh, they probably will, but I know you'll be there to bail me out."

I laughed, "yeah, I will."

He pushed a strand of hair that had fallen from my ponytail behind my ear, "I missed seeing your beauty every day."

"We've been over this, I'm not beautiful."

He shook his head, "well, you are to me."

I groaned playfully and wrapped my arms around him, resting my head against him. I felt his arms wrap around me as well and his head rested on top of mine.

"I missed my best friend," I admitted.

One of his hands left my back and he ran his fingers over my hair, "I missed mine too."

"Hey babe, do you want to go pay for these real quick?"

I let go of Louis and turned to Niall, "yeah, sure," I replied.

He handed me the basket and some money to go pay. I turned to walk past Louis, who smiled at me as I walked away. Seeing Louis again had put the biggest smile on my face, and the euphoria back into my body. I had missed him horribly, and now that I was reassured that he didn't hate me, everything was that much more amazing. As I stood in line for checkout, I looked back to Louis, and he and Niall were both standing there, looking at me.

***Louis' POV***

I had never felt more amazing, seeing Lezile again. I missed everything about her. Hard to believe I even survived this long without seeing her. As she walked away, I couldn't help but smile at her. She was beautiful, in every aspect, and she was finally happy again. I could feel that she was. She turned to look back at us and I smiled back at her before she grinned and turned back around.

Niall was standing right next to me, looking at her as well.

"If you hurt her again, Niall, I'll have to take you out."

"You should be happy I even told you she came back here."

"I'd of eventually found out."

"You seem pretty chummy with her, Lou."

"I should, she's my best mate. Which means that I'll protect her Niall," I told him. I turned my head to face him, "and don't think I've forgiven you for what you did to her. Just because she has, doesn't mean that I will."

I saw him smirk, "I'm not asking you to, because all that matters to me is that she and I are back together. I love her."

"Until you mess it up again," I replied, looking back to Lezile.

I felt his eyes on me, "that's not going to happen. I've got nothing to hide from her anymore."

I let out a dry laugh, "oh, really?" I turned my head back to him, "did you happen to tell her how you gave Harry a black eye? I'm sure she'll love to hear that."

"He came at me first, Lou. It was defence."

"You provoked him. He told me what you said. I would have attacked you too."

"You know," he said sternly, "I don't know if I like you hanging out with Lezile so much."

"Too bad, because I'm not going anywhere. Unlike you, I never left her."

"What are you guys talking about?" Lezile asked, coming up to us. We both turned to face her and smiled.

"Nothing important," Niall told her.

I let out a light sigh and spoke up, "I better get going, leave you two alone."

Her face dropped sadly, "oh, are you sure? I haven't seen you in months, Louis."

I put my hand on her waist and leaned in and kissed her cheek, "I know babe, but we'll make a day to hangout, just you and I, I swear."

She smiled nonchalantly and looked down at the ground.

"I'll text you later, okay?" I said to her.

She nodded slowly and Niall took her hand in his, eyeing me. I took one last look at her before turning and leaving the store, heading back towards my house. I wanted to stay and spend time with her, but with Niall breathing down my neck, I knew that wouldn't have gone down smoothly. I prayed that for his sake, he would be smart enough and not hurt her again. I wasn't going to let him hurt her anymore than he already has.

**Hey guys! I'm sorry it's taken me over a week to update this, and that this chapter is really bad. I'm seriously sorry about this. I just had a busy week last week, and yesterday was my birthday, so I didn't feel like finishing this. It's not over, I swear. I've got **_**better**_** ideas for future chapters, so don't fret if you want to keep reading. **

**Thanks again for all the reviews! I can't believe it's at 200 reviews, you guys are honestly amazing. Thanks to everyone who PM's me, it means a lot, and you're all so nice.**

**Leave a review!**


	28. Drunk

"_**Maybe I'll be drunk again, to feel a little love."**_

I woke up the next morning extremely excited. I had texted Louis the whole night before, until Niall became annoyed with me and told me to stop talking to him. Since I hadn't gotten to spend any time with him the day before, Louis and I had planned to go to the beach today, just us, to be able to catch up and just hangout. It was 11 now, and I hurriedly got dressed in my bathing suit, a blue and green striped two piece, that I was terrified of wearing, but it was my only one. I pulled jean shorts and a thin black tank top over top. I packed a pair of sweatpants and a sweater in my bag, because I didn't know how long we'd be staying. I looked behind me and saw Niall sleeping soundly, facing the wall. My phone beeped and I cringed, hoping it wouldn't wake him up. He stirred a little, but stayed fast asleep. I took it out of my pocket and saw that Louis had texted me.

_I'm outside, hurry up! The beach waits for no one!_

I smiled and put my phone back in my pocket before scribbling down a little note for Niall on a sticky note before placing it on his nightstand.

_I've gone out for the day, I'll be back later. Don't worry. I love you xx – Lezile._

I picked up my backpack and flung it over my shoulder before tip-toeing out of his room and shutting the door. I basically ran downstairs and out the door, hurrying to Louis' car. I got in and closed the door and he smiled wide as he backed out of the driveway and sped down the street. We played the radio lightly in the background and made absent chatter, basically about X-Factor and their upcoming album, which I still couldn't get over. The boys, _my_ boys, were going to record an album and were already famous. I was never going to get used to this. Louis smiled wide as he told me all about how they got signed, and how proud he was of himself and how far they had come. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him, he was just the most amazing person in my life. Besides Niall, but Louis held a big part of me, because he and I were so close, and we just blended. I put my hand on his shoulder and gave it a couple pats before rubbing his arm.

"I'm really proud of you, Lou. I can't believe this is happening to you guys!"

He turned onto a back road, that looked as if it would go on for miles. He turned his head a little and smiled in return at me, "I'll bring you in to the studio when we start recording, I'll want you to hear what it'll sound like."

"Seriously?"

He nodded and gave a quick look to me before returning it back to the road. I bit my lip and nodded slowly to myself. I let my hand drift to that back of his neck, where I rubbed circles on his skin. He smiled lazily as he continued to drive down the road, and I kept my eyes on it too. Another 20 minutes later, we finally arrived at the beach. There were lots of cars parked all the way around, and my nerves hit me.

"Are you sure we should be here?" I asked.

"Why not?"

"Well, people will recognize you, crowd us and then ask you for pictures and everything."

"I'll just tell them to bugger off, I'm with you today," he smiled, getting out of the car. I sighed and followed him, gathering our bags from the trunk.

I flung my backpack over my shoulders and grabbed a couple of smaller bags that Louis had packed, while he grabbed his backpack and a cooler bag. Once we got everything, he closed the trunk and we walked along the sand line until we were farther down and away from everyone. Lou ran onto the sand before me and set his bags down excitedly.

"This is perfect!" He grinned.

He pulled out his towel and spread it out on the sand. I caught up and did the same thing before sitting down and getting comfy. Louis stretched before taking his top off and tossing it on his bag. He was already wearing his swim shorts.

"Are you gonna tan, love?" He asked me, lying back down on his towel.

"Uh, maybe later."

"C'mon, get a little naked," he winked.

"I'd rather stay covered," I grinned.

"You're white as a sheet and it's scaring me, take off the clothes," he demanded.

I shook my head and he turned on his side, lifting his eyebrows a little.

"Clothes are staying on!" I told him.

"The clothes are coming off!" He laughed, pushing himself off the ground. I turned quickly and crawled on my knees for a couple seconds before standing up and taking off.

"No, Lou!" I giggled, losing my balance as I ran.

I heard him laugh behind me before I felt his hand grab onto the back of my shorts and pull me back to him. I squirmed and began tearing up from laughing so hard at him trying to lift my shirt up.

"Stop, Lou! Stop it!" I squealed, wiggling around in his grip. He was laughing hard as his hands fought against mine.

I bent over trying to distance his hands from me, but he leaned on my back and kept grabbing at the hem of my shirt.

"Are you gonna take the shirt off!?" He asked through laughter.

I hung my head low and continued pushing myself away from, "fine, I'll take it off!"

His hands stopped grabbing at my shirt but he stayed right behind me, "are you lying?"

"No! I'll take it off," I groaned.

He slowly retracted his arms and I sighed heavily before I grabbed a fistful of the back of my shirt and pulled it over my head. I turned to face him and tossed my shirt in his face before walking back to the towels. He laughed hard as he followed me back to our spot. I fell back lazily on the towel, squinting up at the sun.

"Don't pout, babe," Lou chuckled.

"I'm not," I replied snidely.

"Yeah, okay."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Louis lay back down on his blanket. I felt ugly compared to Louis. Understandable, he was a guy and it was stupid of me to compare myself to him, but he was gorgeous and confident in himself, and I was the complete opposite. It would kill to have the confidence that he did, but I knew that it was never going to happen.

"I can practically feel you thinking over there," Louis said.

I turned my head to face him and his eyes were closed, a smirk playing on his lips.

"It's nothing important," I replied.

"You're bumming yourself out. Stop thinking, love."

"Easy for you to say."

"Oh, was that sassiness I just detected?" He opened his eyes and leaned on his side.

I mimicked him and stared back, "yes, I think it was."

He chuckled and tapped my hand, "hey, what'd Niall say when you ditched him for me today?"

I cringed a little and his eyes shifted, "you didn't tell him."

"He's not my Dad, I don't have to tell him where I'm going all the time."

"Ou, you little devil."

I laughed and shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know, he was acting weird yesterday. I think he just needs to calm down today."

Louis pursed his lips, "yeah, maybe he's on his period."

I laughed loudly and covered my face in my hands as Louis laughed with me. I coughed a couple times, as I choked on my own spit, when only caused Louis to laugh louder.

"I think he actually is sometimes," I giggled.

Lou sat up fully and looked all around the beach, "so, what shall we do?"

***Niall's POV***

I held her note in my hand, staring at her writing.

"_I've gone out for the day, I'll be back later. Don't worry. I love you xx – Lezile."_

Gone out? Where the hell could she have gone? She wasn't fully comfortable with driving here yet, and she must have left this morning while I was still asleep. I crumbled the paper in my hand tightly, seeing the colour in my hand turn to white. I checked my phone but there were no missed text messages or calls from her. I had tried phoning her, but there was no answer on her end. How could she not think to phone me and tell me where she was? What if something had happened to her, how would I know where to go get her?

I stood up from my bed and ran my fingers through my hair. She could be such a child sometimes. Slowly, I thought of the worst; what if she was cheating? She could be out having sex with some random guy right now just to get back at me for what I did. She came back here just to tell me she loves me just to get my hopes up, to let me get comfortable and happy and then just tear it all down.

Jesus Christ, get a hold of yourself, Niall.

I licked my lip and bit down on it hard, feeling the skin tear. I eyed my keys before grabbing them from my dresser and heading out of my bedroom. I made it halfway down the stairs before stopping and thinking how crazy I was for trying to head out and look for her. She wouldn't be cheating on me, we love each other too much. I chuckled to myself before shaking my head and turning on my heel back up the stairs, but once I made it to the top step, my thoughts turned on themselves. What if she was cheating on me? And I'd of been so stupid to believe that she wasn't still upset about what I had done? I'd have to go look for her and explain and ask her just what the hell she thought she was doing. I walked down a couple steps once again, but stopped and stared at the ground. She could be out shopping with my Mum right now for all I knew, and I'd look crazy if I went after her.

We were supposed to spend time together today, and now all of a sudden she just up and leaves? Where the _hell_ is she? My breathing became ragged before I raised my arm and threw my keys away from myself, watching as they hit the wall hard, causing it to chip.

***Lezile's POV***

"I said smile, you idiot, what the hell is that!" I giggled.

I was taking pictures of Louis, but every time I told him to smile, he'd pull a funny face at the camera. His eyes were crossed and his lip was curled upward. Suffice to say, he looked crazy. I snapped the picture and just shook my head at him.

"Get over here and take a proper one," I told him.

He smiled and walked over to me. I wrapped an arm around his neck, his head resting on mine as his arms went around me. We both smiled as I snapped the picture. I turned the camera around and checked it, and it was perfect.

"Here, take another," Lou said.

I eyed him suspiciously but he just smiled, and I held the camera back up in front of us, and when I went to take the picture, Louis pressed his lips to my cheek and blew a "raspberry" on my face. That stupid thing parents do to their babies tummies to make them laugh. I took the picture nonetheless, but pushed him away afterward and rubbed my cheek.

"Gross, I've got your spit all over me!"

He laughed in my face and walked back over to the towels, sighing in victory.

"Here, to make you feel better," he opened the cooler bag and tossed a beer at me before opening one for himself.

"You're driving," I told him.

"I'll only have one, and we'll leave later so by that time it'll have left my system. Don't worry," he smiled.

"Okay," I droned out, opening the beer and taking a drink. Louis did the same and came and stood next to me.

"I've got a few more," he smiled, "let's get you drunk!"

And a few hours later, that's exactly what I was.

***Louis' POV***

Lezile was sitting on her towel, swaying to herself with her beer in her hand. Her eyes were closed and she was clearly off in her own little world. She was the cutest thing in my world. It was getting dark out now and I had started packing up our things, getting ready to take her home. I held her shirt in my hands and bent down in front of her, trying to get it over her head. Of course, she fought me on it.

"No, Lou!" She whined.

"Jesus, first you whine 'cause you don't want to take your shirt off, now you want to keep your clothes off," I complained back.

She giggled and dropped her beer on the sand before nearly falling backward. I held her forward and finally got her shirt over her head and pulled her arms through the sleeves.

"Babe, please sit still," I told her.

She sat still, staring at me, trying to hold in her giggles. I couldn't help but smile at her as I put her things into her backpack.

"Do you wanna go?" I asked.

She shook her head nearly fifty times before finally verbalizing, "no."

"Niall will be getting worried," I said dryly. Frankly, I didn't care if Niall was worried, but I didn't want to make things any more tense than they already were.

"Who cares about Niall," she pouted.

"You do, remember?"

"Oh ya!" She laughed, "you know me, Louis. You know me. You know?"

I laughed lightly, "yes, I know."

She flung her arms around my neck and rested her head on my shoulder, "you're my best friend. I love you!"

I slowly stood up, bringing her with me, "I love you too."

She stumbled on her feet but held her ground as I bent down and picked up the bags, flinging them on my shoulders. I heard a voice shout my name, but I didn't recognize it. I looked around but didn't see anyone I recognized. I grabbed Lezile's hand and slowly began walking with her to the car.

"Left, right..l-left, ri-left..," she whispered to herself.

Looking back, getting her drunk was not the smartest move, but it sure was entertaining!

"Is that Louis Tomlinson?!" I heard another voice shout.

I turned my head and saw a couple teenage girls making their way up to us. I turned my head back around and placed my hand on Lezile's back, my other holding her hand, guiding her. I took a quick look back and the girls were still following us, and a couple others had joined. I tried getting Lezile to walk faster, but I didn't want her to get hurt, so we went at her pace. We made it to the car and I hastily opened her door and guided her inside, buckling her into her seat. I jogged over to my side as the girls made their way up the hill and to my car.

"Louis!" They all shouted.

I slid in and started the engine, and their cameras and phones were flashing quickly, taking pictures. Lezile groaned and she leaned forward, and instinctively I held the back of her hand and leaned her into me, letting her rest against my shoulder as I slowly tried to drive around the girls. I eventually made it around them all and sped away.

I rubbed Lezile's hair and kissed the top of her head as she held onto my arm tightly. No doubt all the flashes had given her a headache. I felt bad, making her drink, and especially now that she was feeling lousy. About forty five minutes later we had finally made it back home, and as I pulled into Niall's driveway, the sun was completely gone and the streetlights lit up the block. I put the car in park and shook Lezile awake gently. She groaned and moved her head a little and I pushed hair out of her eyes and slowly helped her sit up. I unbuckled both our seatbelts and opened the door and made my way to her side. Once I opened her door, she nearly fell out and I had to catch her before she hit the pavement.

She stepped out of the car slowly and I picked up her bag and slowly helped her walk to the front door. Before I had time to go in her bag and get the keys, the door swung open, and Niall was glaring at me. He took in Lezile's rough state and shook his head.

"What'd you do to her?" He snarled.

"We just had some fun."

"Oh yeah, looks like she's having a lot of fun," he said harshly. He stepped out of the house and took her bag from me and flung it over his shoulder before taking her from my arms. She nearly lost her balance and I leaned forward to help her, but Niall pulled her away.

"Careful with her, man!" I told him.

"You mean like you were by getting her drunk?"

"I took care of her, she's fine. I promise. I wouldn't hurt her."

He helped her inside the house and glared at me one last time, "just stay away from her, Lou," he threatened before slamming the door in my face.

I stared at the door for a few moments, worried about her and how Niall was acting. I didn't feel right leaving her here by herself with him. Something in my gut was telling me that this was wrong.

**Hi hi! So, shorty chapter, I know, but I just felt like writing :) so sue me, Hahaha. I hope you liked it! If not...well fml.**

**Leave a review, beauties!**


	29. You're My Wonderwall

"_**Maybe, you're going to be the one that saves me. After all, you're my wonderwall."**_

I groaned harshly as I rubbed my eyes, letting them adjust to the rough bright light. I felt groggy, exhausted and disgusting. I rolled over in bed but soon realized that I was alone. In fact, I wasn't even in Niall's room. I was back in the _guest_ room. I sat up slowly and looked around, letting my thoughts wander. Why the hell did I sleep in here? Since I came back, I'd been practically living in Niall's room, and what, now he just decides to put me in here like some child on punishment? I got out of bed and looked down at the shame that I was wearing; my clothes from yesterday. I opened the door and made my way to Niall's room before knocking on his door. There no was no answer, so I opened it only to see that it was empty. I rummaged through my bag and pulled out a t-shirt and shorts and changed before putting my hair up. I took a quick look around his room again. What the hell was going on?

Surely he couldn't have found out that I had left yesterday to spend the whole day with Lou. No, there was no way. I heard clanging come from downstairs and I quickly made my way down into the kitchen, to see Niall making himself some tea. I stood in the doorframe quietly, watching him. His body language screamed that he was tense and he was purposely slamming things around. Nervously, I spoke.

"Hey."

His hands stopped what they were doing and he stood there, unmoving. What had I done to piss him off so badly? He turned his head around and looked at me nervously. He took one look at me before turning back around and continuing making his tea. I swallowed hard before stepping all the way into the kitchen and grabbing myself a bowl from one of the cupboards.

"Do you want some cereal?" I asked.

He shook his head robotically, "already ate."

"Alright," I whispered.

I made myself a bowl of cereal before sitting down at the counter. He continued to avoid my eyes, though I knew that he knew I was looking at him. Had Louis phoned him and told him that I was with all day? No, I don't think he would do that, especially because it would probably cause grief for himself. Niall stood at the counter, facing away from me while I ate. It was awkward, and there was no need for it to be. Once I finished, I walked up to him and put my bowl in the sink next to him. We just stood there for a few seconds, the silence taking over. I decided that this was stupid, and so I stepped behind him and tried to wrap my arms around him, but he only moved away from me.

"Niall, what's wrong?" I asked timidly.

He shook his head, "I'm just waiting for you to explain what happened yesterday."

"What about yesterday?"

"What about yesterday? You left when I was asleep, leave me a vague note about where you went, and not once did I get a text or a call from you saying if you were okay or not. Do you have _any_ idea how worried I was about you?"

I swallowed nervously, looking straight into his eyes, "I'm fine though."

He chuckled darkly before sighing, "you don't get it, do you? If something would have happened to you, I wouldn't be able to even function, knowing that I could have rescued you."

"Nothing would have happened," I whispered. I couldn't tell him that if I were in any danger yesterday, Louis would have been there to rescue me.

"You do not understand me!" He shouted, "It's _my_ job to protect you! I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you."

I stayed silent. He shook his head at me, rubbing his forehead. I had clearly pissed him off when I left yesterday with little detail about where I was. I didn't see the problem, it's not like he has to know where I am all the time. As long as I feel safe with who I'm with, he should trust and have faith that I'd be fine. I would have called him if anything would have happened.

"So how'd you get home?" He asked rudely.

"How'd I get home?" I stuttered, "uh, well I took a cab."

His eyes sharpened at me, "you took a cab, huh?"

I nodded before biting my lip, "yup, and as you can see I'm totally fine, so can we just drop this?"

I stepped forward to him but he only backed away.

"Oh, my God," I whispered angrily.

"Can you blame me for being so mad?" He asked roughly.

"Uh yes, I actually can," I replied sarcastically, "you're being ridiculous right now. I'm fine, I'm functioning! Why are you freaking out?"

"Because I had _no_ idea where the hell you were all day yesterday. I sat here all day, scared that I was going to get some call saying that you were in the hospital or something. I know you can't understand that, but trust me, its hell. If you had just phoned me or texted me saying where you were, I would've been happy, but you didn't even think to give me that courtesy!"

"Niall, _seriously_, what is the actual problem here!"

He groaned and ran his hands through his hair. I sighed harshly. This was complete bullshit.

"I'm home, I'm safe!" I shouted.

He let his hands drop to his sides and he pointed right at me, shouting back, "you're home, you're not safe!"

"Jesus Christ," I said through pursed lips.

"Who'd you go out with yesterday?"

"No one, I just went out by myself."

He nodded his head a couple of times, "yeah, okay, so that's your story, you went out by yourself? That's the truth?"

My heart pounded against my chest as the next word slowly slipped out from my lips, "yes."

He chuckled before letting out a huge breath and pulling out his phone, "okay, okay," he whispered.

I watched him as he furiously hit buttons on his phone. My nerves hit me like a thousand stabbing knives and I was put on edge with his anger. I was trying to cover this up, because Niall had been acting like a crazy person since I came back here. I don't know why he was so on edge, and I doubt that if I asked him, he would tell me. This was a strange side that I had never seen, and it had come out of nowhere and he was making me worried.

"You want to explain this to me?" He asked dryly, holding up his phone in front of my face.

There, staring at me was a picture of Louis and me in his car last night, him driving and holding me against him, and he was kissing my head. The picture was taken by a fan who had posted it on Twitter, and it somehow found its way to Niall.

I didn't have any clever excuses to cover this up. He knew where I was, and he knew who I was with.

"I'm waiting," He growled.

"It's not what it looks like."

He took his phone away from me and stepped around the other side of the Island counter in the kitchen. He slammed his hands down on the counter hard causing me to jump, as he hung his head low.

"Any other cliché lines you wanna throw my way?"

His head lifted and he stared into my eyes.

"I'm telling you the truth," I replied, "it's not what it seems. I.."

I sighed, "I was drunk and all the fans that were crowding and the flashing cameras were giving me a headache, so Lou just kind of held me and blocked my view and tried to make me feel better. Nothing happened, I promise you. I wouldn't do that to you."

"Oh, but I would because I'm such a horrible human being?"

"What?" I asked with confusion.

"I thought you forgave me, but you just _had_ to say it like that, didn't you? To make it seem like you are so perfect and would never do anything to hurt me, but I'm so worthless that I'd cheat. Are you trying to teach me a lesson?"

I flung my hands in the air, "how is this happening?" I asked myself.

"If you wanna go have sex with Louis to make it even between us then go ahead," he motioned his hand toward the door, "I won't stop you."

"You've got to be kidding me. _You _cheated, and yet you're suspicious of me!" I said harshly.

"I'm not joking; go ahead if you want to hurt me like I did you. I know you want to have sex with him," he sneered.

I slammed my hands down on the counter just like him, "this is absolutely ridiculous. I would never cheat on you and I can't..," I felt my eyes begin to water as my stomach cringed, "I can't even believe you would say that to me."

His expression softened at my words as he realized what he said. I stood back from the counter and wiped at my eyes, drying them before I cried in front of him. Of all the fights we had, this was the most ridiculous and unnecessary, and the most hurtful.

"If you want out of this, this is a good way to go," I told him.

I walked past him and raced up the stairs into Niall's room. I grabbed a pair of clothes and shoved them into my backpack before grabbing my wallet, keys and phone and put them in. I slipped my shoes on and raced back down the stairs, but before I could make it to the door, Niall stopped me, grabbing onto my arm.

"Baby, wait, I'm sorry," he pleaded.

I struggled in his grasp as he tried to pull me into him. I pulled myself from him and swung the door open and ran out, hearing Niall come after me.

"Lezile, stop please, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"

I kept walking away from him, unable to think clearly about what had happened. He meant it, every single word, he meant it. After a while, I didn't hear his footsteps anymore. I didn't look back. I was too pissed and too upset to even think about looking back. I kept walking, and with every step I became less angry and more upset. The piercing feeling inside me hit hard and I had to control the urge to fall right then and break down. I was being punished for having a best friend that I loved. Jealousy is an ugly thing, but this was worse. It was hideous. I had caused this. I had destroyed a friendship that they had all probably taken years to build up, but Niall was now destroying a relationship that had taken _us_ months to rebuild.

I made my way up the steps when I finally arrived and knocked on the door. After a few seconds it opened, and a very stunned woman stared back at me.

"Lezile, hi! Hun, what brings you here?"

"Hi Mrs. Tomlinson, um, is Louis home?"

She shook her head, "sorry he's not, and he's out with his Dad right now."

I bit my lip, "oh. Would you mind if I waited for him?"

She eyed me sadly, trying to read what was going on in my overly thought crowded head.

"Sure, of course, come on in," she smiled.

I walked in and thanked her before taking off my shoes and setting them aside.

"Did you want anything to drink or to eat?"

I shook my head, "I'll just go wait in Louis' room, if that's alright."

She nodded before motioning upstairs, "sure darling, go right up."

I half smiled at her and headed upstairs and into Lou's room. I flung my backpack on his bed and opened it up and changed into the clothes I packed. I sighed as I packed my t-shirt and shorts back into my bag and closing it. I slowly crawled onto his bed, sitting down and staring at the floor.

I was so sure that this time with Niall was going to be so much better than the first. No cheating, no fighting, just nothing but happiness between us, but I guess that was way too much to ask for. I had no idea where the jealous for Louis came from; he'd always known that Lou and I have been close, so now it just didn't make sense. I shook my head and rested my head in my hands.

A couple of hours later, I heard the front door open. I was now lying down on Lou's bed, facing the door.

"Mum, we're home!" Lou shouted.

I heard shuffling and voices, and I strained myself, trying to hear them.

"She's upstairs? Is she alright?" He asked quickly.

"I don't know, she looked upset," his Mum said.

I heard running come up the stairs and the footsteps approach, and I closed my eyes slowly, breathing ragged. The door opened quickly and I opened them back up as Lou came over to the bed and crouched down in front of me. He put his hand on my shoulder.

"What's going on?"

"Niall and I fought this morning. It was really bad."

His eyes softened and he moved his hand from my shoulder to my cheek, rubbing circles on my skin.

"What were you fighting about?"

"We fought about you. Some fan posted a picture of us in your car yesterday when we were leaving, and Niall found it on Twitter. Shit just blew up after that."

Lou stood up and pulled on my hands and pulled me up so that I was sitting on the bed. He sat down next to me and pulled my head against his shoulder, while he rubbed my back.

"I'm surprised you're not crying if that was that bad," he told me.

"I'm tired of crying over him."

I wrapped my arm across his chest, holding him back tightly.

"I want you to stay here for a bit," he said.

I moved my neck so that I was looking up at him. He looked down at me and I smiled at him, causing him to smile back.

I nodded, "okay."

"Do you want to go out?"

I sat up and nodded again, "yeah, let's go do something fun."

"Hurray for fun!" He shouted.

I laughed and grabbed my wallet before walking with Louis downstairs.

"Hang on one second," he told me.

I put my shoes on and heard him talking to his Mum in the kitchen.

"We're going out for a bit, we'll be back later." He told her.

"Is she alright?"

"Not really, I hate when she's upset. It kills me, so I'm going to take her out. Can I borrow the car?"

"Sure. Have fun and call me later."

"I will thanks."

I looked away as he came back and opened the door. I walked out and he followed and we got in the car. He drove us downtown and parked us in the movie theatre parking lot.

"People are going to recognize you," I warned.

He pulled his beanie from the back of the car out and put it on his head, covering most of his hair. I laughed at his attempt, "that's not going to hide you," I teased, getting out.

He got out and closed the door before walking next to me up the steps, "what are you talking about, it's a full proof disguise!"

I pushed into his side and he smiled and he grabbed me around the neck and nuzzled my hair.

"Stop!" I shouted, fixing my hair.

He laughed and opened the door for us and we walked in and into the ticket line. I was surprised, no one had actually seemed to recognize Louis. I was grateful, because I didn't want anyone crowding him. We made it up to the front and Louis had picked some action movie that he wanted to see really badly, so I told him we'd go, which pretty much made his whole day. I pulled out my wallet to pay, but he pushed my hand away, handing the man the money for both our tickets.

"You didn't have to do that," I told him with guilt.

"Don't worry, I wanted to," he smiled.

I grabbed onto his arm and leaned against him as the man handed Louis back the tickets, to which he handed me mine.

"Thank you," I droned out happily, taking the ticket from him.

"You're velcome," he grinned.

"Oh god," I groaned, hiding my face in shame. He was so embarrassing sometimes.

We stood in line at the concession stand and got some popcorn, chocolate and drinks. Louis insisted and paid for all of that too.

"Will you let me pay for something?" I asked.

He shook his head as he put his wallet back into his pocket, "you're money is no good here."

The girl at the cash piped in, "be grateful, let your boyfriend pay!" She smiled.

Louis smiled back and grabbed the food while I took the drinks, "yeah, let your boyfriend pay!"

I smirked and thanked the girl as we made our way to the theatre. Louis ran up the steps to the very back of the theatre and patted the seat next to him. I sat down and handed him his drink and he passed me the chocolate. We began eating as the previews started and Lou's eyes never left the screen. He got sucked into them and it was incredibly cute to watch him, he was like a little boy. After a few minutes, the movie started and Lou shrieked excitedly and grabbed onto my arm.

"I'm so excited!" He jeered quietly to me.

I giggled, "calm down, little girl."

He smiled and turned back to the screen, losing himself into the movie. I was drifting in and out. I let my mind go to Niall. I wonder what he was doing. I wondered if he was sitting at home, frustrated and still mad at me, or if he was sad that I walked out on him. He had no right to be mad at me. Louis and I hadn't done anything and weren't planning on doing anything. I wasn't even allowed to talk to Louis now that I was back with Niall, because his insane thinking that I was going to cheat on him to get even was corrupting his mind. The fact that he actually thought that I would stoop that low made me disgusted.

I was lost in my thoughts for quite a while when Louis grabbed my hand, causing me to come out of my mind and look at him. His mouth was open and he was staring at the screen. There was a huge fight happening between who I was assuming were the main characters, and Louis was totally wrapped up in it. He was sitting forward in his seat, eyes wide at the scene playing out in front of him. He squeezed my hand tightly and I smiled at him and squeezed his hand back. He looked over to me and leaned in closer to my side and I copied him, resting my head against his shoulder.

The movie continued for another hour, and once it was finally over, I was actually a little bit tired. It wasn't even that late in the afternoon, but already this day had sent me on a crazy emotional rollercoaster. We stood up and Lou stretched before escorting me out. He rested his hand on my back, guiding me through the people. Out of the theatre, the bright lights made me cringed until they finally adjusted. I held onto Louis' arm once more as we made our way out of the theatre and finally into the car.

"We could have seen a movie you wanted to watch," he said, starting up the car and backing out.

"It's okay, I had fun," I reassured.

We talked absentmindedly the rest of the car ride home. Once we arrived, we got out and went inside, to be greeted by a delicious smell.

"You're staying for dinner, right?" Louis pressed.

I nodded, "sure, I'll stay."

He went to walk into the kitchen, but looked back to me, "good, cause I wasn't giving you a choice. Come on!"

"I'll be right back," I replied.

"Be quick!" He yelled from inside the kitchen.

I walked up the stairs and into his room and picked up my phone. The light was flashing on it, and when I opened the screen, I had missed messages from Niall.

_- I love you so much, please come back home, I'm worried._

_- I didn't mean anything I said, I swear, please come back home to me._

_- I hope you're okay... plz forgive me. I love you xx_

I rubbed my eyes, my emotions coming back full force. I opened a reply box and typed back the message.

_I need time to think._

I stared at the message before nervously hitting the send button. Was it even worth thinking about? What good was it going to do either of us?

"Lezile, are you coming!?" Louis shouted from downstairs.

"Yeah, I'm coming!" I shouted back.

I turned off my phone and threw it on my bag before leaving the room and heading downstairs toward an eagerly waiting Louis.

**Hello all! Another update for you who are still reading :) I love all your reviews, seriously, you guys make me smile so much it's crazy! I hope you like this! Still more to come if you want to keep reading, so be patient, please, though I'll try to update as quick as I can!**

**I love you!**

**Leave a review, pleaaaaaaaaaaase :).**


	30. Cold Coffee

"_**Tell me how to fall in love the way you want me to, because I love the way you wake me up."**_

***Harry's POV***

I stared at my ceiling. Despite it never changing, never moving, or even having colour, I kept my eyes on it. The dullness kept me occupied. I couldn't remember the last time I left my house for a reason other than getting drunk with my friends. It was as if I was Anne Frank, I held myself captive in my own home. My Mum was worried sick about me, I could see it in her eyes every time she looked at me, but I reassured her that I was just happy to be home and see my old friends.

I had deleted my Facebook and changed my email. I had checked it once just to see if Lezile had logged on, but she hadn't. I had way too many messages from people, mainly about X-Factor, asking for favours, or about the drama I was having with Lezile. It was none of their damn business and so I just deleted it. I kept my Twitter, which was constantly gaining new followers. I checked it only once, because people had kept tweeting me pictures of Lezile and Niall at the store that I used to go to all the time with the boys just down from his house. I had also seen pictures of her and Louis hanging out. The one with him kissing her head practically destroyed me...

My blood boiled when I saw them together in his car. I wanted to cry, to runaway, to destroy _everything_. I wasn't over her, and part of me knew that I probably never would. She was under my skin and unless I cut her out, she wasn't going anywhere.

"Harry!"

I blinked a few times, coming out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I shouted back.

"Dinner time, sweets!" Mum called up to me.

At the mention of food, my stomach began to growl, but I didn't want to satisfy the hunger. I'd barely eaten anything lately. Hell, I barely felt like I was living. I lazily slid my body off my bed, reaching into my back pocket and grabbing my phone. I shot a quick text to Zayn.

_Hit up town tonight?_

I put my phone back into my pocket and looked at myself in my mirror. I tousled my hair and made it look more presentable. I rubbed my eyes hard, making everything blurry. I had to prove to my Mum yet again that I was fine, and me looking like I'd just been through the nine circles of hell wasn't going to help my case. My phone vibrated just as I was making my way out of the door.

_Comin to get ya now, mate._

I smirked before putting my phone back once more. As I hustled down the stairs, I felt a little faint. My body was deteriorating with the shit care that I'd been giving it, and now it was taking its toll. I fumbled into the kitchen and Mum caught sight of me, but I smiled once I made eye contact. She, however, only stared back worriedly.

"I'm gonna head out tonight with Zayn," I told her as I poured a cup of juice from the table and drank it.

"Again?" She asked.

I nodded before setting the cup back down on the table, "yeah, it's not a big deal Mum, don't freak out."

She looked at my sister then back to me, "honey, maybe you should just stay in tonight. Just relax."

Gemma looked at me sadly then back to Mum.

"I'm more relaxed when I go out."

I'd probably just outed myself on my drinking adventures with Zayn, but me coming home, unable to walk or speak for every night for the past week had already given it away.

Mum sighed before stepping around the table to me. She put her hands on my arms gently and looked into my eyes, "Harry, I know you _really_ cared for her, but you have to let this go. You're torturing yourself."

I sighed and shook my head, "I'm not torturing myself, and I'm just having fun with my friends. You know, like a normal teenager."

Gemma stood up from the table, "Haz, you have to let her go. You're freaking us all out."

I pulled away from Mum's grasp and stepped back, "I'm _fine_."

"You're not fine," Mum replied, "I know you losing her may seem like the end of the world, but it's not. You guys just weren't meant for one another."

"We were, but Niall screwed it up," I said harshly. I rested my forehead against the wall and let out a heavy breath.

Mum spoke up, "Honey, she loves Ni-"

"I love her!" I shouted angrily, slamming my hands against the wall.

The room fell silent and Dad came rushing into the room, "what's going on?"

I pushed myself from the wall, my hands stinging from the contact with the wall. I had said it. The one thing that they didn't know I felt, was now all they were going to think about. I looked around the room and they were all staring at me sadly. With pity. I turned and left the room, jogging up the stairs and into my room. I breathed out heavily and grabbed my wallet and keys and put them into my pocket. I heard a honk come from outside and I knew it was Zayn. Once I checked out my appearance in the mirror and made sure I was good to go, I rushed back downstairs and out the door. I heard footsteps come to the door, but I was already out. I hopped into Zayn's car and he began backing out. Mum opened the door to the house and watched me as we pulled out. Her eye contact was nothing but worry, and my eyes never left hers until the house was out of my view.

"What's the game plan tonight, mate?" Zayn asked.

I slouched forward and let out a sigh, "_Union_?"

He smiled and made a right turn, "sounds good."

We drove for about another twenty minutes before coming up to the bar. _Union._ It was a decent bar. There was great music, awesome food, and plenty of girls. I was determined to keep forgetting about _her_, even if it killed me.

We got out of the car and showed the bouncer our I.D's before stepping inside. The music was pounding, the servers were walking around with shots and the girls were all busy dancing. I smiled as a couple girls at a table noticed Zayn and I and smiled at us.

Zayn threw his arm over my shoulder and pulled me to the bar, "let's get it started!"

A couple hours later, I was living on the high pillar of cloud 9, which meant I was drunk off my ass. Zayn and I pounded back another round of shots.

I set the shot glass on the bar and turned to face the crowd. I wanted a distraction. I _needed_ one. My eyes lazily roamed over all the girls in the pub and I noticed a girl standing at the back by herself. She had dirty blonde hair and was sipping on her drink, eyeing everyone else. I patted Zayn on his shoulder before making my way through the crowd and resting against the wall next to her.

"Having fun?" I asked, smirking at her.

She shifted nervously then looked up at me, "I guess. I was dragged here against my will."

"Depends on who you're with," I winked.

She blushed and looked down at her feet, "I suppose so."

I stood in front of her, "I'm Harry."

"Styles, I know. I saw you on X-Factor," she smiled.

I breathed in sharply, "yeah, I got signed with my band."

Her eyes light up, "really? So that makes you some kind of celebrity?"

I nodded, "it does, babe."

I stepped closer to her and she smiled, "do you want to get out of here with me?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but a louder voice took her place.

"You seriously hitting on my girlfriend?"

I turned my head to see a guy who looked like my age glaring at me.

"Your girlfriend, eh? Didn't seem like she was attached to anyone a second ago," I laughed.

"Might wanna watch your mouth, Harry."

"Oh, so you know who I am too?" I slurred.

"Everyone knows who you are, jackass, and not all have great things to say."

"You know, let me make it up to ya. I could have sex with your girlfriend and make her a trophy for you to carry around," I laughed.

The girl, whose name I forgot to get, and frankly didn't care for, gasped and I looked down at her. She looked pretty pissed. I stumbled a second before saying, "never mind, she's not worth it."

She scowled at me before I felt a hand grab onto my shoulder. Before I could look up at the body who grabbed me, out of nowhere, a fist hit square in the cheek, sending me straight to the ground. People around us gasped and formed a circle around us. I opened my mouth wide and stretched my jaw, the heat pulsing through my skin.

"Hey! Hey!" I heard Zayn shout. I was dizzy and couldn't find my voice to speak so I slowly stood up and wobbled my way towards the door.

"Where do you think you're going, Styles!"

I turned and licked my lip before setting my eyes on the brave bastard who hit me. My mind was fading and my eyes were getting heavier. He walked towards me with purpose, and only stopped when he came close enough to me to slam his fist against my jaw.

I faltered and fell to the floor again, hearing a chorus of shocked "oh!"'s erupt through the bar.

I heard Zayn and the guy fight before the bouncers came and grabbed all of us by our shirts and tossed us out of the pub. The burly man and his girlfriend left the pub straight away, but I sat there, hunched over on the pavement as Zayn just stared down at me with disappointment and shock, and with nothing left to say.

I licked my bottom lip and tasted the blood that was oozing from my cut. I sat on the back of my legs and rested my hands on my thighs before bringing one hand up to my lip, wiping away the blood. I looked down at the red stains on my fingers and smirked cockily to myself.

***Niall's POV***

I was pacing in the living room, my eyes never leaving the door. As my feet shuffled back and forth, my mind whirled. I tried to come up with what to say to her. What to do, as a way for her to forgive me. She's given me so many chances, and just like before, I kept screwing it all up. I knew that my texts weren't going to do anything to persuade her to come rushing back home and into my arms, but I had no idea how to approach this situation. I rubbed my forehead and I heard footsteps come down the stairs.

"What's wrong?"

I looked up and saw Mum stare back at me nervously. I let out a huge breath and rested against the back of the couch.

"Where's Lezile?" She asked.

I groaned inwardly and told her, "my guess, probably with Louis."

"Why isn't she here? Or why aren't you with her?"

"We had a giant fight earlier."

Her eyes narrowed at me and her body tensed.

"You're kidding, right?" She said harshly.

"I picked a fight with her. I saw these pictures of her and Louis together yesterday, and I just snapped."

"You snapped?" She asked sardonically, "what, were they kissing?"

I shook my head, "no, she wasn't feeling well and he was trying to protect her from fans."

She let out a low laugh, "so, she didn't cheat on you, she was hanging out with her friend who was only protecting her and you fought with her, is that right?"

"Mum, please, I feel bad enough already."

"You should feel bad!" She said, raising her voice, "you've already lost her once Niall, if she leaves again, she's never coming back, you know that? Do you _know_ that!"

"Yes, okay!" I shouted back, "I know that she won't come back! I just can't help the feeling that she's going to leave me because I've already screwed up!"

I held my head in my hands and let out a shaky breath. My Mum was silent and I felt her put her hand on my shoulder.

"She forgave you, though. She left her home to come back here and be with _you_. Not to be with Harry, or Louis, but you. Shouldn't you have faith in the fact that she loves you?"

I shrugged my shoulders and she patted my back before saying, "look at me."

I slowly stood up and turned my head to face her.

"I knew where you went when you had that week off during X-Factor. I know you went to see her, despite you telling me that you were staying with one of your mates. No one flies across the country just to see someone that they've hurt unless they truly love them."

"I guess so," I whispered.

"And her leaving her whole life in Canada to come back here and be with _you_ means?"

I looked away from her and to the floor, "that she loves me too."

She rubbed my back and let out a slow sigh, "honey, I know being a teenager isn't easy, and love sure isn't either, but you just need to relax and let things just happen the way they're meant to happen. She's not leaving you, she's here. You can't push her away."

She pushed herself from the couch and stood in front of me, putting her hand under my chin and bringing my eyesight back up to her, "I think of her as a part of this Family, and I don't want to have to see her walk out that front door and never come back again. If you love her Niall, you need to go get her."

***Lezile's POV***

After dinner, Lou and I sat in the living room watching TV. I hadn't quite decided if I should text Niall, or even go back home. I was at a complete loss. I rested my legs on the coffee table and Louis sat next to me, his arm around my shoulder. Every time that I let out a sigh, even one that I didn't know I was holding in, he was look down at me and rub my shoulder. I knew that he wanted to make me feel better, but he just didn't know how.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" He asked.

I nodded and stood up and Lou shut off the TV. I put on my shoes and so did he and we left the house. I waited on the steps until he closed the door, and the two of us began walking down the street. I kept feeling Lou's hand hit mine and I looked down to see his fingers stretching themselves out to touch mine.

"You can hold my hand, Lou, I don't care."

I saw him laugh to himself before taking my hand in his.

"I didn't think you'd be okay with it," he said.

"It's just a hand. It's not like it's going to lead to marriage or anything," I giggled.

"How about we make that a deal?"

"I'm not marrying you," I smirked.

He shoved his body into mine, smiling, he said, "no, but like in ten years, if we aren't married yet, let's you and I get married to each other."

"Are you serious?"

"Why not? I mean, we _love_ each other, we're close. I say there's nothing to lose," he smiled.

I laughed, "okay, Lou! In ten years, if we're still sad and single, we'll get married."

"Good! Now I just have to go buy you a ring, wifey," he winked.

"Oh, wow," I giggled.

We continued talking and walking for another twenty minutes before we decided to turn around and started walking back to his house.

"Lou, do you think it's even worth it, me being with Niall?" I asked.

He shrugged, "I can't tell you that."

"Why not?" I asked angrily, "I trust you and your decisions, so why can't you just tell me if it's worth it or not?"

"I just can't. He's one of my best mates. If you love him, and you can't..," he took a breath, "if you can't_ imagine_ your life without him, then you should stay with him. But if he's always causing you this much hurt, then I say call it quits. For good. I hate seeing you upset, it literally pains me."

I let go of his hand and looped my arm through his, my other hand linking through his fingers. We continued walking in silence until we eventually made it back onto his street, and when we made it close to his house, I noticed a familiar car in his driveway. And there, sitting in the driver seat, was Niall. My grip tightened on Louis' arm and his fingers interlaced with mine protectively as he looked at Niall, who had gotten out of the car.

Niall's face turned to one of worry and mild anger when he saw how I was holding Louis, and how his hand was holding mine. Lou pulled me up the steps and past Niall, trying to get us both into the house as quick as possible, as if Niall was going to cause bodily harm to us.

"Lezile, can I talk to you?" He pleaded, following us up the steps.

Lou stepped me behind me, pushing on my back.

"I love you! Will you please hear me out?" He shouted.

I stopped walking and Louis bumped into my back.

"What are you doing?" He whispered in my ear.

I closed my eyes and took in a breath before turning around to face the boys. Niall's face lit up happily, but Lou's only looked mournful.

"Can you give us a minute?" I whispered to him.

He looked briefly over his shoulder before turning his attention back to me, "just shout if you need me," and with that, he walked past me and into the house, closing the door.

I swallowed the awkward lump in my throat and Niall ushered me to step down next to him. I walked down the steps and stood in front of him, still a few feet away. He looked at the space between us, then back up to me.

"I guess I deserve that," he murmured.

"You've got one minute."

He took a huge breath and began speaking, "look I know that I screwed up, _again_, it's just that I care too much and I was too quick to judge about what had happened yesterday."

"Yeah, you did screw up."

"I know that, and I know that you have every reason to hate me for it and to walk right back up those steps and into Lou's house," he stopped and swallowed, "but I'm begging you not to. Not to ignore him, but to come home with _me_, the guy you love, remember? I mean, I flew across the country to see you, and you did the same, because you feel what I feel. I know that love isn't easy, and I've completely screwed up, but I want you." He explained, letting out a huge breath at the end.

"You didn't believe me. I guess I would have freaked out too if it was me and I saw pictures of you and some girl in a car like that..."

"So does that mean you understand?"

I slowly made my way down the steps and he stepped forward as well.

"I love you, you know? I don't want us to keep fighting like this, because it's going to become too much for one of us to handle. I want you to trust me."

He closed the space between us and grabbed my hands, "I do! I swear I do! I'm just scared that the way I treated you will haunt me for the rest of my life and that you'll never really forgive me."

I sighed and slowly slid my hands up his arms and around his neck, pulling him to me. I didn't reply back, I just stayed silent. What was there to say now? That I hated him? That I was afraid that our love would soon fall apart? No, for now I would stay happy.

"Can I take you home now?" He whispered in my ear.

I nodded, "let's go home."

He let go and gave me a quick kiss before stroking my cheek. He took my hand and led me to the passenger side of the car and opened the door. I looked to Lou's house and saw him looking out from the living room window. I gave a quick lop-sided smile and waved and he only returned the half-smirk before disappearing behind the curtain before coming out of the house with my backpack in his hand. He handed it to Niall before shooting me a quick look before heading back inside the house.

I looked away quickly and slid inside the car and buckled myself in while Niall got in on his side and started the car. He backed out and began heading towards home.

"I was scared we were going to be over," I told him.

He looked over at me quickly before re-focusing his eyes on the road, "because of what I said..."

I nodded, "yeah, I thought you were going to call us quits."

"No, I'm the idiot, love," he took my hand in his and drove with his other hand, "and I'd be stupid to throw what we have away for the second time. I'm so sorry," he whispered before lifting my hand to his lips and kissing the back of my hand.

I smiled and leaned against him while he drove, careful not to mess him up. He stroked the back of my hand with his thumb. The car ride was silent and after a little while, we made it home. There were no other cars in the driveway when we got there.

"Where is everyone?"

Niall shrugged and unbuckled his seatbelt, "I don't know."

I looked at him oddly before letting myself out and following him up to the house. He unlocked the door but turned back to face me before opening it.

"I hoped that our talk would turn out well, so I planned a little surprise for you," he smiled.

"And what if I would have said no and stayed at Louis'?" I countered.

"Then this would have been extremely awkward for everyone to come home and see," he laughed.

He pushed open the door and we stepped inside, but nothing had changed.

"Nothing's different," I told him, looking around the room.

He closed the door and put his hands on my waist behind me, "I didn't say it was in here," he said, and he began pushing lightly on my waist, guiding me to the stairs.

I walked up them slowly and looked down the dark hallway to see a glow coming from Niall's room. As I kept walking, his hands left my waist, and I could feel the temperature getting warmer with every step I made towards his door. I stopped once I was in front of his door and pushed on it, opening the space and I let out a small breath before smiling as I walked in.

He had set up candles randomly around his room and on his bed was a bouquet of flowers. I wasn't usually one for the big, girly and romantic gestures, but seeing it in real life, especially coming from Niall, made me love them.

"I know it's not much and it's not that great, and it doesn't change what I did, but I figured you'd like it," he said nervously.

I looked around the room and inhaled the fragrance coming from the candles before replying, "I love it."

I turned my head and looked into his eyes, "and I love you."

He smiled and scooped me up in his arms, holding me tight to him. I responded and wrapped my legs around his waist and hugged him back. He let one hand go from my back and reached out and pushed his door closed, causing me to let out one last laugh before the house fell silent.

**Hey guys! So I hope this is long enough for you all, and that you'll enjoy it. Harry's finally back! And don't worry, Liam will be too.**

**A couple quick notes; I need a couple female characters to add in, so feel free to message me if you want to be in it?**

**And second, I got a couple not so nice PM's about my story, saying how it sucks and all the stuff that I'm doing wrong with it. I understand that there's a thing called Constructive Criticism, but these messages were just completely ignorant and quite frankly, unnecessary.**

**I appreciate every single person who Favorites, Follows, Reads and Reviews on this story or my other one, I really do!**

**Leave some reviews? You know how I love it when you guys do that :)**


	31. What Makes You Beautiful

"_**Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe, you don't know, you don't you're beautiful."**_

A couple of weeks had passed by since Niall and I had made up from the misunderstanding with Louis. I tried getting a hold of Lou to hangout again, but he never returned my calls and barely acknowledged my texts, only to say that he'd been busy working on something with Savan for the album. I tried not to let it bother me, but for some reason, it did. Simon had called Niall a few days ago, letting him know that he and the boys had a couple of days to spend in Dublin for a recording session before heading back to London.

I had already lost all of them to London, and I didn't want it to happen again. That's when everything went wrong. When Niall cheated, when Liam ignored me, and when Harry wanted me back. I didn't want them to leave once more and have everything fall apart all around me yet again. I couldn't tell Niall not to go; I couldn't be that selfish and ruin his dream. I was upstairs packing Niall's bag for when he left for Dublin tomorrow with the boys, while he was downstairs getting something to eat. I didn't tell him that I was upset about him leaving me once again, especially after what had happened last time. I opened his drawers and pulled out a couple Polo's for him and put them in his bag on top of his trousers. I desperately wanted to phone Louis and see how he was doing and how he was feeling about Dublin tomorrow, but I knew that he probably wouldn't answer my calls.

I could faintly hear Niall talking downstairs, but I simply kept on packing his bag. I put his toiletries into his smaller bag before pushing it on top of his clothes and zipping up the bag. I set it on the floor next to his closet. I figured I'd let him choose which shoes he wanted to take, because I knew how much he loved them all.

I heard Niall's footsteps on the stairs and I sat on his bed, waiting for him. I saw his shadow mirror against the hallway wall, and he walked inside the bedroom.

"You sure you didn't want food? I would've made you some, babe," he smiled happily as he sat down next to me.

I shook my head as I held my stomach, "I'm not hungry, it's alright."

"Stomach still upsetting you?"

"Yeah, but it's alright."

He rubbed my back soothingly, "I see you packed my bag for me."

I nodded and smiled, "I figured I'd be a good girlfriend and help you out."

He leaned in and kissed my cheek, "you're an amazing girlfriend," he whispered against my skin.

I smiled and leaned my head against his shoulder, "who were you talking to downstairs?"

"I was talking to Lou for a bit," he started.

Louis; he'd been ignoring my calls, but talking to Niall. I shouldn't have felt jealous, but part of me did. What had I done to upset him so much to the point where he didn't want to speak to me?

"What'd Lou have to say?" I questioned.

"Um, nothing much, just that he'll be here 'round 11 tomorrow morning with the lads for us to catch the car together and leave for Dublin."

I bit my lip and nodded, but Niall continued, "and that he's sorry he hasn't gotten back to you yet, love," he smiled, rubbing my shoulder, "he's just been busy talking to Savan about a song they're working on."

"Okay," I grinned.

A wave of nausea came over me and I stood up off the bed and held my stomach, bending over. Niall stood up and rested his hand on my back, slowly rubbing circles.

"Do you want to lay down? I'll get you something for you stomach," he pressed.

I shook my head and took a few huge breaths before my stomach settled down, "it was probably something I ate that isn't agreeing with me."

I stood straight up again and Niall pulled me in for a hug, "you sure you're going to be alright?"

I nodded against his shoulder, "yeah, I'll be okay."

"Good, 'cause I have something to ask you."

"Oh no, what?"

He chuckled and moved back so that he could look into my eyes, "nothing bad, I just wanted to know if..," he let out another chuckle and smiled, "do you want to come with us to Dublin? Sit in on the recording?"

I let out a quiet gasp before replying, "I don't want to get in the way, though! What about Simon?"

"I was talking to him after speaking with Lou, he said it's alright! So will you come? I don't want to be away from you ever again," he smiled cheekily.

I nodded, "yeah, I will definitely come with you guys!"

He smiled wide and pecked my lips before crushing me in a hug.

"Should I pack your bag?" He joked.

"Oh no, babe, I don't want you seeing what I'll be packing," I winked, stepping away from him. He smirked and held my waist loosely.

I left his bedroom and went into my own and began shoving things into my backpack for tomorrow. As I packed, I kept having to stop so that my stomach could calm down. It wrenched and twisted and the feeling nearly killed me and prevented me from standing up half the time.

I wasn't going to let a little stomach pain stop me from spending any time in Dublin with my boys. I was a little worried about the trip. What if we go there and in the recording studio are insanely beautiful women who happen to fall weak at the knees at the sight of boys who can sing? And what if Niall decides he wants something new and exciting like a little closet adventure with one of them at the studio?

Jesus, I'm freaking. I've got to stop.

Harry and Liam were another couple of worries I was having. Liam; I hadn't seen him in months, nor have we spoken in that time either. The moment after we almost kissed had changed everything. We didn't know how to act around each other, especially him. It was awkward and tense now, and the fact that it was just 'our little secret,' made things a lot worse. As bad as it was, I couldn't tell Niall. I would never tell him that Liam and I almost kissed. I mean, no good could come of it, and there was no need to bring up past mistakes now that everything was finally fixed and back on track. I just hoped that when I saw Liam tomorrow, we could forget that the whole thing had ever happened and just act normal with one another. I missed him, and thinking about our relationship with one another being ruined made my turn hurt even more.

Harry, though. I know that the way that I treated him is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Stringing him along, and never being fully over Niall while with him, I knew that he was never going to forgive me. If I were him, I wouldn't forgive me either. I hadn't heard from him in such a long time, I just hoped he was okay. I wasn't vain enough to think that he was still pining over me, hell, I'm nothing worth suffering over, but I imagine that he's still angry with me. Neither Niall or Lou went into great detail about Harry when around me, probably because they knew it wouldn't do any of us any good to keep thinking about all the drama that, yes, I've caused.

My stomach twisted with nervous butterflies at the thought of seeing Harry again tomorrow. I was praying that everything would work out between all of us. I finished packing and zipped up my backpack and looped the buckles together and set it on the floor against the dresser.

Please, let everything be okay.

***The Next Day***

It was quarter to Eleven in the morning and Niall and I were downstairs in the living room, waiting for the boys to show up. The car was already here; a black Escalade with tinted windows. Niall just about jumped out of the window in excitement when he saw it pull up. I was sitting down on the stool next to the door, my head resting on my hand. Niall sat down next to me and rubbed my back gently.

"Your stomach still hurting?"

I shook my head no, "no, I'm just worried."

"About what?"

I tilted my head to face him and whispered, "Harry."

His eyes softened and he scooted right next to me and rested his chin on my shoulder, "don't worry about Harry, it'll all be fine. I'm here with you."

"I don't have to go if it's going to make things hard for you guys."

He shook his head, his chin rubbing on my shoulder, "You're coming this time. No more separation."

I smiled and lifted my head fully, and he sat up straight, looking down at our hands and laced his fingers through mine.

"Are you excited?" I asked.

He began bouncing his legs excitedly, "yes! I can't believe this is happening to us. It's what we've always wanted, and finally our hard work is paying off."

The excitement in his eyes was evident, and they glistened at his words. I could tell that he was happier than ever with his life, and no doubt that he was proud of himself. So was I. I knew he and the boys were talented, but for them to have their own album was something that none of us expected.

There was a slamming of a car door and we stood up, glancing out the window. The boys were all getting out of the cab and grabbing their bags. I took good looks at all of them; all of them stunning. Zayn looked like natural perfection with his hair quaffed upward in his varsity jacket and black pants. Louis looked adorable in tan pants and his gray knit sweater. Liam, my god, Liam, he looked different. His hair was longer, and it was curly now. He was wearing a blue v-neck sweater and brown chinos. I barely recognized him. He was smiling at something Louis had said, as Lou's arm snaked around Liam's shoulder. Harry, he was the most different out of all of them. He stepped out of the car, his hair a little longer than his curls were before, and he swept them to the side of his face. He was wearing a tight black v-neck t-shirt with black pants and Aviator sunglasses. His face looked torn and a little angry as he grabbed his bag from the trunk. Zayn stood next to him and clapped his back, and I saw him give a reassuring smile to him.

I turned away from the window and inhaled a deep breath as Niall gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go and grabbing our bags. Dad and Jon had already said good-bye to us before they left this morning to go to the mall, but Mum had stayed home. She came from a back room and gave us each another tight hug. She lingered with Niall.

"I'm so proud of you," I heard her whisper to him.

Niall's eyes were shut as he clung to his Mum tightly, "thanks Mum. I love you."

"I love you too," she replied, giving him one last tight squeeze before letting him go.

I smiled at them as Niall turned and opened the door, stepped outside with the bags.

"It's the Niallator!" I heard Louis shout, and the boys shared a light laugh.

"What's up, Tommo!" Niall shouted back.

I waited nervously at the door, scared to step out and see Liam, and especially Harry. My gut twisted and pricked with every nervous feeling in my body. I saw Niall's head come back into view and he stuck his hand out to me, "come on, babe," he whispered.

I swallowed hard and took his hand, letting him pull me out of the house. Mum patted my back reassuringly as we stepped out and she closed the door behind us. The boys were waiting by the car as the driver packed their bags into the large trunk of the Escalade as I stood behind Niall nervously.

Niall spoke up, "boys, I've got a surprise! Especially for you, Lou," he added playfully.

The boys all turned around and Niall stepped beside me and pulled me out by my hand. I almost crumbled under their stares, but Louis' smile made me feel much better.

"You're coming!" He shouted. His eyes lit up and Niall let go of my hand as Lou bolted up the steps and picked me up and embraced me in a tight hug. He buried his face in the crook of my neck and his hands held around my body tightly. I smiled and the scent of his aftershave filled my nostrils, making me feel right at home knowing that everything was okay between us. He let go and kissed my cheek sweetly, making me smile. I kissed his cheek back playfully. Niall was handing our bags to the driver and talking to Zayn.

Liam was slowly walking up the steps and he stopped behind Louis and me.

"Do you mind letting her go, Lou?" Liam teased.

Lou turned and sighed with dramatic playfulness before letting go of me and stepping down to chat with the other boys.

My heart began racing faster with every second that Liam looked into my eyes. I was afraid he was going to say something rude, or disown me as a friend, but I knew that was just my crazy imagination taking over. He reached out to me with his hand and put it around my waist, pulling me into him. Instinctively, I wrapped one arm around his shoulder and the other, under his arm, around his back. I held him tightly, feeling him sigh heavily as his body sunk against mine.

"I missed you," he admitted quietly.

"I missed you more," I joked.

He let out a small chuckle and pulled away, "we all know that _I_ missed you more!"

I shook my head, "so, we're okay?"

He nodded and rubbed my arm lightly, "we're great, don't worry."

I smiled and we walked down the steps to the rest of the boys. Zayn smiled wide and came over and embraced me in a tight hug. He rocked us back and forth a couple of times before letting go.

"You look good," he smiled.

"And you look better," I joked.

He laughed and stepped away, "yes, yes, I do!"

We all shared a small laugh before my eyes locked with Harry's. He had taken off his sunglasses, but I wish that he hadn't. His dark stare pierced through me, making me feel uncomfortable and as if I was the lowest form of human being ever. I noticed that his lip was a little red around the bottom corner of his mouth, but I ignored it. He shook his head and scowled his lip at me, making my skin crawl nervously. Zayn put his hand on Harry's shoulder, to which Harry responded with by putting his sunglasses back on and smacking into my shoulder as he walked past and into the car.

I stumbled against Niall at Harry's impact, which made Niall turn hastily towards Harry, his fist clenched, but Louis stopped him.

"Don't, please," Lou begged, "it's not worth it."

"Niall, it's okay," I reassured.

"It's not okay, guys," Niall replied, but he dropped it nonetheless.

Louis opened the back door of the Escalade and climbed in, sitting against the far left window. I climbed in afterwards, sitting in the middle, and Niall sat next to me. In front of us, Harry sat staring out the window, his iPod in his ears, Zayn sat in the middle and Liam sat on the side. The driver started the car up and pulled away from the curb, heading down towards the highway.

Zayn and Liam were talking admittedly with Niall about how excited they were about the album and the kind of sound that they wanted to create. It was fun, watching them talk with their huge smiles plastered across their faces, because they had finally gotten what they wanted, and they deserved it.

"Bunch of silly girls, freaking out over an album," Louis whispered to me.

I giggled and turned my body as much as I could in the seat, "says the one who has been ignoring me for the past two weeks because he was working on said album," I teased.

He feigned hurt and pulled me into him, "you'll love it when you hear it," he whispered.

"What's the back story of the song?"

"Hmm, nope! You'll find out tomorrow. It's done, and I emailed it to the boys to practice, just you're out of the loop," he smiled.

I widened my eyes, "you mean that Niall knows and he didn't tell me?"

Lou gasped and covered his mouth, "oh my god, he's _such_ a brat!"

We shared a laugh between us and he leaned in to hug me.

"Hey, you two, what are you laughing at?" Niall asked.

"Just Lou being an idiot, as always," I replied, pulling away from Louis.

"Hey!" Lou shouted.

"I'm just kidding, calm down," I teased.

The drive to Dublin was going to take at least three hours. The boys were all talking with one another about the album still, and I was listening and watching them. I kept glancing at Harry though, at least, the back of him anyways. He was still listening to his music and staring out the window, completely cut off from the rest of us. Liam had asked him to join in and talk, but Harry turned around and looked at me before shaking his head 'no,' and returning his gaze to the passing scenery. I had never felt more horrible in my whole life. I made Harry feel like he had to cut himself off from everyone when he was around me. He made it seem like I was poison gas, that anyone that breathed near me would end up intensely sick or completely dead from the inside out.

Niall put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer. I scooted my bum across the seat so that I was right next to him and leaned my head on his shoulder, his arm holding me against him. He kissed the top of my head and rested his chin where his lips were.

"I love you," he whispered.

I pulled my head back to look up at him, "I love you too."

He leaned down and connected his lips to mine, kissing me slowly. I rested my hand against his neck lightly, keeping him close to me.

"Hey, stop that," Liam droned out, poking my cheek.

I let out a light giggle, taking my lips away from Niall's, "sorry."

The car ride passed by a little quickly, but I soon found myself asleep against Niall.

A couple hours later, I was woken up by Niall whispering into my ear. I groaned loudly and stretched out as far as I could in the small space I had. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, looking out the window. We had finally arrived in Dublin, at the hotel _The Keaton_.

The driver was outside, pulling out the bags from the trunk. Liam, Zayn and Harry were already out of the car and grabbing their bags, and heading inside the hotel. Niall helped me step out of the car and I grabbed my backpack from the driver, as did Niall and Lou and we made our way inside the hotel.

It was a beautiful hotel, word varnishing everywhere, with red seats on classic looking couches and chairs in the lobby that made way for the staircase and elevators. We walked up beside the boys who were at the counter, and Harry was arguing with the receptionist.

"You're not listening to me, you bloody idiot! I'm not staying in that room, so switch me out of it!" Harry shouted.

Louis walked up to Harry hastily, "what's going on?"

Harry pointed to the man behind the counter, who was clearly growing more impatient with every passing second, "this god damn wank-"

"Harry!" Liam shouted.

"What I told to Mr. Styles here is that your reservations are under two rooms with three people in each," the man told us.

"Okay, so what's the problem?" Louis asked.

"The apparent problem is that Mr. Styles does not wish to stay in the room with Ms. Harris and Mr. Horan and is requesting to be switched."

I felt like I had just been shot with a .38. Harry wanted to get away from me so badly that he was causing a scene in front of everyone and battling with the receptionist.

"Fine, can we switch?" Louis asked the man.

"I suppose so, so decide whose changing rooms."

The boys looked around at each other, but Lou spoke up first, "I'll switch rooms with Harry."

"Thank you!" Harry shouted sarcastically, "Now enter it in the bloody computer and let's get on with it," he looked back to me, "I'm suddenly feeling very irritated."

"Suddenly?" The receptionist said sarcastically to himself. Harry glared at him.

Once the room switch was done, the men handed us our keys and we all separated to our rooms.

"Harry will get over it, love," Louis told me, rubbing my back. Niall was in front of us, following the other boys to our rooms.

I shook my head, my eyes misting over with tears, "no, he won't. He's going to hate me forever."

I felt his arm wrap around my shoulder as we continued walking, "you don't need his love, you've got mine," he told me, kissing my cheek.

I wiped at my eyes. I'll be damned if I let Harry see me cry, or for worse matter, Niall.

We made it to our rooms and we walked in. Simon had arranged rooms for the boys that were equipped with necessities. It had a kitchen with a dining area, two bathrooms, and three small, separate rooms with the beds in them. Lou was more excited about the giant TV and satellite. He immediately plopped himself down on the couch and began flicking through channels. Niall put his hand on my waist and whispered into my ear, "Let's go see the bedroom."

I smiled at his words as we made our way down the little hallway before heading into the last room and closing the door. We set our bags down and I took in the sight of the room. There were dark linens on the bed, with had a small wardrobe and an end table with a lamp on it. It was simple, but it was nice.

"Are you happy you came?" Niall asked, sitting down on the bed, ushering for me to join him, which I happily did.

I shrugged my shoulders, "until I realized that Harry basically wants me dead."

"He doesn't, he's just being over-dramatic."

"Is he? Or am I being stupid in thinking that he would be able to forgive me?"

"You're not stupid; it's all just... raw and weird right now. It'll blow over. Besides, I'm here, so if he steps out of line with you, I'll have to clobber him," he smiled.

I smirked and pushed his bangs around with my fingers. I was happy to finally be with Niall, tagging along while he lived through all of this. Mainly because I didn't want anything tearing us apart like last time, but also because I wanted to show my support for him. He reached up and grabbed my hand lightly, placing it on his neck. His eyes searched mine for a few seconds before he finally met his lips with mine. I wrapped both my arms around his neck, pulling him towards me. He hooked his hands around my waist, pushing me down.

Niall brushed his fingers against the skin of my waist under my shirt, his cold hands sending a shiver over me. He began pushing his hand up when a knock came from the door.

"If you're naked, cough twice!" Louis shouted from the other side.

Our lips parted and I let out a laugh, while Niall coughed twice. I smacked his shoulder as he smiled and we sat up, "come in Lou, we're not naked!" I shouted back.

Niall rested his hand on my waist as we sat looking at the door as Louis walked in.

"Thank God, I was right scared about what I could have walked in on!"

"Nothing you haven't seen before," Niall teased.

Lou opened his mouth to say something, but reconsidered, "that is true. Anyways, Simon called, there's a car downstairs waiting to take us to the studio."

"I thought we were going tomorrow?" Niall asked.

Lou shrugged, "it's a head start on the song Savan and I had finished. He wants us to record it today, or at least most of it. Rough cuts or something, I don't know, I wasn't fully paying attention."

I chuckled at him as Niall stood up, "do you want to come, babe?"

Lou began coughing, very conspicuously, "uh, Niall, it's a surprise, remember?"

"Oh yeah," he laughed, "sorry," he told me guiltily.

"Don't worry, I'll probably just pack, maybe just crash early. I'm still not feeling well."

"No?"

I shook my head as Niall kissed my forehead, "alright, well get some rest. I'll be back as soon as I can to take care of you."

I smiled as the two boys walked out and left the hotel room. I rubbed my hands over my eyes and fell back on the bed, burying my face in the pillow, relishing in the silence of the hotel room, but not the restlessness of my mind.

***The Next Day at the Studio***

The boys had gotten back to the Hotel late last night, exhausted. Niall had woke me up briefly to check and make sure that I was okay before he climbed in and fell right to sleep. At breakfast, Niall kept trying to drop hints about what they were working on all yesterday, but Lou would throw cereal bits at him every time he started talking.

We had just arrived at the studio and were in the elevator. Harry was still ignoring me, and Zayn was desperately trying to convince him not to be so rude. It's obvious that Zayn's efforts were going unnoticed by Harry. The elevator door opened and Niall reached for my hand and laced our fingers together before leading me to the recording studio. We walked in and the boys were greeted by some gentlemen that I've never seen before. They were busy moving around buttons on a giant switchboard, completely unfazed by my presence. There were two ladies in the room with us, talking to Simon and showing him things on the computer, which I was assuming where the rough cuts from last night.

They were slender and were wearing tight dresses with high heels. I felt awkward around them because they were stunning, and the workers kept staring at them. Hell, even Harry and the guys kept looking at them. I bit my lip and held tight onto Niall's hand. Someone's arms appeared from behind me, wrapping around the front of my neck. I looked over to see Lou looking at the girls talking to Simon.

"Don't worry, love, you're more beautiful than they are."

I shook my head, "I'm less beautiful than that balding man over there with the clipboard," I whispered back.

Lou chuckled, "give yourself some credit, babe. Just wait," he winked

I knotted my eyebrows in confusion, but he just let go and went over to talk to Simon.

"Unreal, isn't it?" Niall asked me, and I nodded.

"It is, but you seem like you're at home here."

"I know, it feels right being in here!"

"Alright boys, come on, get set up," Simon told them.

They all nodded and went inside the booth. It had separations in it so that the boys were in their own little box with their own headphones and everything. I stood there, smiling at them all, because they all looked so comfortable in there. I couldn't hear the beat, but the boys began nodding inside the booth and Liam stepped up to his mic and began singing;

_You're insecure, don't know what for,  
>you're turning heads when you walk through the do-oo-or.<br>Don't need make-up, to cover up, huh,  
>being the way that you are is enou-ou-gh!<em>

Harry pushed his hair out of his face before he began singing;

_Everyone else in the room can see it,  
>Everyone else but yo-ou.<em>

I was smiling wide at this point. The boys were singing their song. _Their_ song that they had put such hard work into, and now it was coming to life. All their voices blended together, taking over the whole studio.

_Baby you light up my world like nobody else,  
>The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed.<br>But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,  
>you don't know, oh-oh!<br>You don't know you're beautiful!_

Louis looked up while singing, staring directly at me, and cracked a wide smile as he continued belting his voice out to the song.

_If only you saw what I can see,  
>You'd understand why I want you so desperately!<br>Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,  
>you don't know, oh-oh!<br>You don't know you're beautiful, oh-oh!  
>And that's what makes you beautiful!<em>

I looked at Niall, who was doing a little dance while the other boys sang, but he completely lost himself in the moment and in the song. Louis kept staring at me while he sang, and I smiled back to him, biting my lip. I could tell from the lyrics and the way that their voices blended and just the perfection of it all, that this was going to be amazing and everyone was going to love it.

Zayn sang through his verse perfectly, and through the second chorus, I found myself swaying to the song, getting lost in it. The rest of the boys stayed quiet and looked to Harry as he began singing just by himself;

_Baby you light up my world like nobody else,  
>The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed.<br>But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell, _

Harry took a quick second to glance at me, and I stood frozen under his stare. I don't know why he looked at me, but it was probably to say something inaudibly like 'I'm going to make you regret leaving me,' or something along those lines. I smiled lightly at him, and he shut his eyes once more and finished his solo.

_You don't know, oh-oh!  
>You don't know you're beautiful!<em>

His solo was perfect, and his voice was perfect, and it made me feel a little uneasy, but in the best way possible.

The song finished, and everyone in the studio clapped, including myself. Niall stood in the booth, talking with Liam, smiling wide and jumping up and down. I waved to him once he caught my eye, and he waved back, miming an 'I love you.'

Louis pushed the door to the recording booth open quickly, jogging over to me excitedly.

"Well, what do you think?!" He asked excitedly.

"Honestly, I _love_ it, Lou! You helped write that?"

He nodded vigorously, "I did indeed! But it wasn't hard, I had inspiration."

"Louis, honey, you are beautiful," I smiled, resting my hand on his shoulder.

He shook his head, "no, babe, not me!"

He looked back to the booth as the boys began piling out and into the room with the rest of us.

"Playback anyone?" The man at the switchboard asked, and all the boys cheered.

He hit the switch and the opening music to the song started up, and the boys all shouted excitedly. Just like before, Liam's voice resounded throughout the studio, meshing up perfectly with the music before all the boys' voices kicked in and the chorus erupted loudly, causing the boys to jump around the room. Louis just smiled at the other's odd actions.

"So who inspired the song, then?" I asked, bringing him back to our conversation.

The song continued playing, and the boys kept jumping around, even getting Simon to share a laugh with them. Louis looked back to me and smiled wide.

_You don't know, oh-oh!  
>You don't know you're beautiful!<em>

"You did."

_And that's what makes you beautiful!_

**Hi guys! Sorry it's taken me about a billion years to update this bloody thing, but I've just been super busy and had no time to write! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's a little bit longer than usual, but I'm sure you guys won't mind, as it makes up for me making you wait! As I said, I needed female characters, and I did **_**NOT**_** expect the amount of messages that I got haha. I've got one so far for certain, but I'll be picking the other few when I go to write the next Chapter. Sorry if you don't get put in, it's nothing personal, it's just that there was quite a lot of you that asked to be put in the story :( I wish I could write all of you in!**

**I'll hopefully get the next Chapter up sooner than I got this one! Also, I've already mapped out virtually the rest of the story, so I know exactly how it ends :) Hopefully you'll like it, but if not, then that sucks hahah!**

**Don't be afraid to message me, I don't bite :) Also, even after this story is done (won't be for awhile), I'll continue writing my other one, and probably more after this, if people like my writing enough for me to continue after this story!**

**So you know, Favorite, Share it with peeps, review, :)**

**I love all my readers! x**


	32. I've Got You

"_**I've got you to make me feel stronger, when the days are rough and an hour feels much longer."**_

"You didn't," I laughed a little awkwardly, pushing on Louis' shoulder. He only grinned and shook his head.

"No, babe, it's about you."

"But... why? Why me?"

I looked over to the other boys, who were happily congratulating themselves. Harry, his eyes were still glued to the bum's of the hot girls in tight dresses.

"You always tell me how you don't think that you're beautiful, and no matter how many times I or anyone else tells you, you won't believe us."

"So you wrote a song about me to prove me wrong?" I teased.

He let out a laugh, "go big or go home, I guess!"

"I don't need you to worry about my self esteem, Lou," I replied, crossing my arms across my stomach.

He gently put his hands on my arms, uncrossing them from myself. I looked up at him as he opened my arms and wrapped them around his waist as he pulled me against him. He rested his chin on my shoulder as he hugged me tightly.

"I'm going to worry about it until you finally listen to me."

I rolled my eyes teasingly, despite him not being able to see me do it. I shifted my gaze to Niall, who was looking at us and smiling. I returned the smile and he went back to his conversation with Simon. I wonder if Niall knew that Louis wrote the song about me? Or if he just knew that Louis wanted to keep it a surprise from me. If he did know that it was about me, then he was taking it rather well, but I had a large suspicion that he had no idea what the hell it was about.

"Break it up, Lou! Get your butt back in the booth," Simon scolded him.

I let go of Lou as he rubbed gentle circles on my back, smiling at me before retreating back to Simon. I watched as he spoke admittedly to him, looking back to me a couple of times with a grin on his face. Simon looked over to me as well, his facial features less than inviting. He nodded to Louis and he came bolting back over to me, grabbing my hand in his.

"What now?" I asked nervously.

"Do you want to come in the booth and listen? It's awesome, I promise! Come on!"

He began dragging me but I planted my heels on the carpeted floor, pulling onto his hand.

"No! I'll just listen from out here; I don't want to get in the way!"

He turned back around to me and smiled, "you won't be in the way. Please, Lezile, please! For me? Because you love me oh so much?"

I looked inside the booth to see Harry sitting on a stool next to the other boys, his eyes fixated on us. The nervous feeling in my stomach resurfaced, making me feel nauseous once more. I swallowed the lump in my throat and let out a deep breath, trying to calm my aching stomach as I looked back to Louis, his eyes glistening hopefully. Who the hell was I to deny him _anything_ after the lad had written a bloody song about me? I clearly had no say anymore.

I nodded slowly and let him drag me into the booth. He sat down on his stool next to Niall, who smiled happily at me. I leant my right hand over his shoulder and grabbed his hand, lacing his fingers in mine. I was praying that Simon wouldn't come and shoo me away and accuse me of distracting them. I felt Niall's grip tighten on my hand and I smiled, knowing that he was happy that I was here.

I could faintly hear the music from their headphones, and I instantly recognized the tune. I smiled wide as Liam's familiar voice rang throughout the booth.

"_I'm broken, do you hear me..._"

His perfect voice echoed throughout the booth. I looked out the transparent glass to the producers, who were bobbing their heads to the music, smiling to themselves as they pressed buttons on the switchboard. As Liam's solo ended, I expected them to all start singing into the chorus like how I remembered it from the dance awhile ago, but only Harry's voice resounded in the room.

I cautiously turned my head to face him, watching him as he sang the lyrics perfectly, and his voice deep. He must have felt me staring at him, because he turned his gaze towards me, our eyes locking as he continued singing. Honestly, I wanted to break down crying. This song had clearly never been fair to him and I. The first time we heard it, I was breaking up with him for Niall, and now, they were singing it for their album, and here I was, not by his side, but holding onto Niall's hand. His solo finished and he looked away from me, his jaw clenching tightly. I had never felt guiltier in my entire life. This was his moment, he was recording an album with his best friends and here I was, making things awkward for him and ruining everything.

There was a tightening on my hand as Niall began singing his solo. I could feel how tense he was and I wanted nothing more than for him to just relax and be in the moment for himself. I lightly rubbed his shoulder with my free hand, before I trailed down his arm, rubbing a couple of soft circles against his skin. I felt him instantly relax as I pulled my hand away and he finished his solo, perfectly, I might add.

Louis' voice powered over right after, his hand finding its way into mine. I looked down at our hands before meeting his gaze, a large smile spread across his face, and I mirrored it right back to him. He finished, just as perfectly as the other boys. The way he sang 'praying,' had pretty much killed me and made my entire existence all at the same time.

They all sang the chorus together, their voices blending perfectly before Zayn used his powerhouse voice to knock his solo out of the park. Niall's grip on my hand had loosened but I knew that he wasn't going to let go any time soon. Louis' grip was equally as tight on my other hand, and so I stood there, holding on to both of my boys as they proudly sang their music.

The cheers erupted from outside the booth as the boys finished singing and took the headphones off of their ears. Louis had let go of my hand and winked at me before exiting the booth with Zayn. Niall spun around on his stool to face me before he stood up, my hand still in his.

"What'd you think?" He asked excitedly.

"It sucked. Honestly, I can feel my ears bleeding," I jaunted sarcastically.

He smiled wider and kissed my lips, "I knew you'd love it, just like when I first sang it for you."

I smiled and felt heat creep up onto my cheeks at his words. There was a light crash and I looked behind Niall to see that a stool had been knocked over, and Harry was angrily making his way out of the booth.

"Harry!" Liam shouted, stepping out after him. Niall and I both watched through the glass as Liam grabbed onto Harry's arm, only to have him be shoved back Harry before he angrily pushed on the door and left the studio.

I looked to the ground awkwardly as Niall pulled me out of the booth by my hand before standing next to Lou, as they all stared at the door that Harry had just left through.

"Who's gonna go after him?" Zayn asked.

The lads all looked at Louis as if it was his job, while Louis looked at me.

"Lezile should," Louis said, staring at me intently, causing the other boys to look at him as if he had a second head.

"Are you mental?" I asked calmly, "he'll probably stab me if I go out there."

"Yeah, Louis, maybe you shoul-" Niall interjected, but Louis cut him off.

"No, she should go see him."

I shook my head but Louis stepped over to me and put his hand on my cheek, "just talk to him," he whispered.

I began to protest but he pried my fingers away from Niall's hand and pushed me towards the door.

"Louis, I'm the last person in the world he wants to see right now, if not ever!" I said quietly to him.

"Babe, trust me, right now you're the _only_ person he wants to see."

"It sure doesn't seem that way. Lou, I really don't thin-"

"Don't think, just go," he replied, pushing me through the door.

I groaned nervously as I clutched my stomach, trying to soothe the nausea that had managed to keep torturing me. I walked down the hall of the building to the elevator and made my way down to the bottom floor. I figured he went outside to get air, and if he didn't, well then I'd just tell Louis that Harry had ran away or something.

Once the doors opened, I stepped out and made my way outside and sure enough, Harry was leaning against the wall of the building, his head in his hands. I felt like shit; I had caused him to feel this way. It was true when I said that I never meant to hurt Harry, he was one of the sweetest guys on the planet, that I never even deserved to have been given the chance to be with him in the first place.

I made my way over to him and stopped next to him and watching him as he internally fought with himself. He was breathing raggedly digging the palms of his hands into his eyes. I put my hands on his and pulled them away from his face, his eyes shooting up to me, sending me daggers.

"What do _you_ want?" He spat, pulling his hands back from me.

I opened my mouth to say something, _anything_, but all that came out was a couple of squeaks. I wanted to tell him that he was selfish to run out on his band like that, even for me. He could have told _me_ to leave. I wanted to tell him everything that was wonderful about him so that he didn't have to wonder what was wrong with him. I wanted to tell him that even though we weren't together, I wasn't going to leave him. I would always be here for him. Unfortunately, nothing left my lips.

He scoffed and walked towards the entrance of the building.

Before thinking, I sputtered out, "I'm sorry, Harry!"

He stopped in his tracks and turned around to face me, his eyes burning into me. Those were possibly the worst and dumbest words I could have ever said to him.

"You're sorry?"

I nodded dumbly, unable to speak anymore. He shook his head and charged back at me, each step he took pounding against the pavement. I backed up a couple of feet instinctively, his aggressive posture making me nervous.

"You're sorry?!" He shouted, stopping a foot away from me, "for what? Couldn't be for the fucking train wreck of emotional heartache that you've put me through? Or _continue_ to put me through as you snog Niall with every chance you get? _Or_ that you've now got Louis under your god damn spell too? Does he know that you're just going to toy with him and then leave him hanging?"

I shook my head, his words making me too confused to even think. How did Louis get involved in all of this?

"You _disgust_ me," he growled, looking at me up and down. I felt a pang in my chest at his words, but I didn't speak up.

"You ripped my heart out and you don't even care," he said quieter.

"Harry, that's not true! I-"

"It is true! You don't give a damn! Do you know what I would have done for you?"

When I didn't answer, he continued.

"I would have given you the world, to the best of my abilities at least. I would have protected you from _anything_. I would have taken a bullet for you, for Christ sakes. If we stayed together, I would have wanted to marry you one day."

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, "I loved you so much," he whispered, more to himself than to me.

"Harry, I cared about you so much, you know I did!"

"No, you didn't. If you cared about me you wouldn't have put me through this bullshit," he said quietly before turning away from me and heading back inside the studio.

I stared at the door, waiting and _hoping_ for his figure to appear in front of me again. I felt completely awful knowing that I'd made him even angrier. I didn't want to go back upstairs to the studio to have the face him and everyone else. Honestly, I just wanted to go _home_. I stood there in that spot for what felt like hours, just running my encounter with Harry over and over again in my head. I understood that he was mad at me for being with Niall, hell, I would have hated me too if I were him, but why did he drag Louis in the middle of this? Saying that he was under my spell? What kind of bullshit was he making up in his head now? I wasn't toying with Louis at all.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out, receiving a text from Niall.

_Haz is up here pissed off, where are you babe? :/ x_

I let out a huge breath, feeling the release against my chest as I typed back.

_On my way up._

I looked up at the tall building, imagining the hell I was about to face before my feet carried me back into the building and into the elevator. My stomach continued to twist with nerves as the elevator kept moving to the top floor. Once it opened, I made my way slowly back into the studio, to see the boys back in the booth. Niall jumped off his stool once he saw me come back in and he rushed to stand in front of me.

"What took you so long?" He questioned hastily.

I shrugged, "guilt. I'm making him miserable."

His face softened and he brushed my hair away from my face, "no, babe, it just seems that way."

"He told me that I disgust him, Niall. So I'm fairly certain he'd rather drink bleach than be near me."

His eyes narrowed, "he said that to you?" His eyes shifted to Harry, who was running his hands through his hair.

"I'm ending this right now," he growled, turning away from me. I acted fast and wrapped my hands around his arm, pulling him back.

"Niall, please don't, it'll only make things worse! Just leave him alone, please?" I begged.

He let out a low breath, "he nearly knocked you over the other day and now he says you disgust him, and you want me to just stand here and not do anything?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm asking you to do; nothing."

"He can't get away with acting like King shit around here, it's not how this is going to happen," he threatened, looking back at Harry.

I stared at the trash bin next to the large desk behind Niall. My stomach was twisting and I held it nervously as he continued threatening Harry quietly to me. His words barely registered in my head before I was soon leaning over the garbage, emptying my stomach contents into it. My esophagus contracted tightly as I coughed and spat out the remaining stomach chunks that were in my mouth. My hair was pulled back from my face and I felt two hands rubbing my back. I sat back, rubbing my mouth on the back of my hand. A pack of gum appeared in front of my face and I looked up to see Liam smiling sadly at me. I let out a low chuckle before taking a piece of gum and chewing on it, relishing in the peppermint flavour.

Niall and Louis were on the ground next to me, both rubbing my back. Niall was pushing my hair away from my face and Louis was practically sweating bullets next to me. I don't know why, I only threw up. It's not like I'm convulsing on the floor.

"I'm fine," I breathed out.

"I'm taking you back to the hotel," Niall stated, ushering Lou to help me get to my feet. Lou hooked his arm around my back, lifting me to my feet, which shakily kept straight.

"What about recording?" Zayn interjected.

I felt bad for having Niall want to just up and leave recording just to take care of me. I shook my head as I held on to Niall tightly, "I'm fine, I swear!"

"You're not fine," Lou said sternly, eyeing me suspiciously.

I looked away from his eyes and met Harry's. His face showed no emotion as he looked from me, then to Louis, then down to the floor.

"Screw recording, I'm taking her to the hotel," Niall shot back.

"You have to stay here. I'll be fine," I reassured him, but he wasn't having any of it.

"You know, I've pretty much got my solos done, so I could take her back to the hotel while you lads finish up here. I'll take care of her," Louis interjected.

Niall shook his head slowly, "I'd prefer if I-"

"I promise I'll make sure she's okay, Niall."

Louis' piercing stare into my eyes was making me a little uncomfortable, and quite frankly, nervous. Despite Niall's pleas, he gave in and gave me a kiss on my forehead before letting Lou take me back to the hotel.

Louis was silent the whole ride back, except for when he told the driver to stop at a small corner shop. He didn't say what he needed, and he didn't come out with any bags so I just shrugged it off.

Once we were back inside the hotel and Louis still hadn't said anything, I awkwardly cleared my throat. I turned back around to face him as he shut the door and he scratched the back of his neck nervously. I felt my palms begin to sweat as the silence continued. Louis was _never_ this quiet, and if he was, it was for something serious.

"Okay," he started, "I can't believe I'm going to ask you this, considering that I've never had to ask any female this question _ever_, but when was the last time you had your period?"

I shook my head a couple of times, the question catching me completely off guard. I furrowed my eyebrows together as I gave him an incredulous stare. He was the first person to ever ask me that.

"What?" I questioned awkwardly.

He shut his eyes and sighed before opening them once again, "please don't make me ask that again."

I stammered out words incoherently, still stunned at the fact that he had actually asked me when the last time that I bled from..._ down there_ was.

"Um... I-uh, not sure, why?"

"You're seriously asking me that?" He replied, eyeing me nervously. I knew what he was thinking. I'd even thought of it, but I was just ignoring the possibility.

"I'm not pregnant, Louis. I mean, I _can't_ be pregnant."

"You've been having stomach cramps, yeah?"

I nodded my head, signaling for him to continue.

"And you've been nauseous and thrown up?"

I looked away and nodded again, slower this time.

"And...," he went quiet, and I looked back to him to see him biting his lip and looking down at the ground before he finally returned his eyes to mine, "you and Niall have, um... had sex?"

I felt a tremendous amount of heat rise up to my cheeks and I turned away from Louis completely, looking at the floor. Christ, I figured he would have guessed that we had done it, but I wasn't expecting an outright question about it. I was comfortable talking to Louis about anything, but _not_ about Niall and I having sex and definitely not about the possibility that I could be carrying Niall's offspring inside of me.

"So you have?"

I simply nodded, still staring at the ground and groaning at the heat burning up my cheeks. I heard him sigh and then it was silent. Not a word between us was exchanged. Frankly, what else was there to say after that?

"So your uh, last... period was when?"

I heard his voice tremble at his words and I had never felt more awkward in my entire life. This was not a conversation to be had between two friends. This wasn't even a conversation to be had with a Mother after the age of 14 for Christ sakes.

"Um," I whispered, thinking back to it. I traced the events back, since the day I returned to Ireland and lost my virginity to Niall. I didn't recall having it since I got here. My eyes widened a little as I thought about today's date. It's been well over a month.

"Lezile?"

I stared straight ahead at the wall, my mouth agape. Louis stepped in front of me and placed his hands on my arms, looking into my eyes, pleading for me to say something. Hell, anything.

"I haven't had it since I got here."

"But it's been-"

"Well over a month, I know. Fuck!" I shouted, holding my head in my hands, "how could we have been so stupid and not use a condom!"

"You didn't use a condom?" He asked quietly.

"No! It was the night I came back to surprise him, and it was heat of the moment or whatever and we didn't use one. Shit, god damnit, fuck!" I shouted once more, stomping my feet on the floor as I freaked out in front of Louis.

He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. I felt him let out a huge breath as we stood there in silence, thinking about how much of a complete idiot I was. Louis let go and reached into his pocket, pulling out a box, holding it in between us. Clearly, this is what he bought at the store.

"You knew," I whispered.

He shook his head and reached up to cup my cheek, "no, babe. I just wanted to be prepared for you."

I nodded and leaned into his touch. He kissed my forehead and put the box in my hands as he turned me around and pushed me towards the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and bit my lip hard, feeling myself well with pissed off tears. I had never felt more stupid in my entire life. I let out a deep breath and pulled the stick out of the packaging.

Once I took the test, I paced around the bathroom, biting my nails. I didn't want to see the results. Not now, not ever. What did I even want the outcome to be? Sure, Niall and I would probably have a cute kid, but I was only eighteen, turning nineteen soon, but I sure as hell wasn't ready to become a Mom. What did I have to offer a child? Advice on how to play with guys' feelings and completely screw up everything around you, that's what. I opened the bathroom door and rushed into the living room to see Louis sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, mumbling inaudible words to himself.

"I can't do it," I stated, breaking the silence. His head shot up and he stood and walked over to me.

"What do you mean you can't do it? You didn't take the test?"

"No, I took it but I can't bring myself to look at the results. I don't want to know."

"You _have_ to look! What if you're pregnant?! You can't just ignore this," he reasoned. It was always weird seeing Louis, the joker of the group, be serious. That sight alone made me realize that this was actually happening.

"What if I am pregnant?"

"If you am, you am," he replied, rubbing my arms.

"I can't do this, Louis."

"Yes, you can. I'll come in with you to look. I'm not going anywhere," he cooed, lacing his fingers in mine.

I smiled lightly and let out a deep breath as I turned and headed back to the bathroom, Louis' hand still tight in mine. If I am pregnant, I don't know what I'm going to do. After all we've been through; we can't make it through a pregnancy. It's not fair to Niall and not to any of the other boys, especially since they're finally living their dream. I clutched Louis' hand tighter in mine and he squeezed back, letting me know that he wasn't going to leave me. I picked up the test stick and read the results.

Louis spoke up way before I was ever going to, softly, "what are you going to tell him?"

I shook my head, "I can't tell him until I know why-I mean how... When..."

I clutched my stomach lightly, the test still in my hand, Louis' hand in my other, "I can't tell him anything until I figure out how to finish that god damn sentence."

He rubbed my arm lightly; stepping behind me and wrapping his free arm around me, resting his hand overtop mine on my stomach. I forced my eyes back down to the test stick, the result staring me back in the face.

It was official; I was screwed.

**Sorry that it's taken me literally a month to update this. I am seriously sorry, guys. I was sick and had a million things going on, but that is no excuse and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

**Let me know what you guys think about it in the reviews! How do you feel about the drama with Harry? And what about Louis and Lezile? Let me know, it makes me **_**extremely**_** happy hearing from my readers! I really hope you liked it and if it was disappointing, then I should start paying you guys to keep reading my story hahah!**

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	33. Secrets

"What are you doing?"

"Playing with your fingers."

"May I ask why?"

"I just want to, okay!"

I sighed and tried to focus on the TV, but my mind was being occupied by the tingling sensation on my hand.

"Lou, seriously, why are you playing with my fingers? It's a little weird."

He only laughed, "Stop asking so many questions and watch the telly."

I rested my head on his pillow as he lay next to me, playing with my hand. It's been three days since we've been back from Dublin and the boys had spent a great amount of their time there in the studio. I didn't go back after I puked in the trash bin. I didn't feel like facing the humiliation of their managers. Louis had been harassing me about telling Niall that I was pregnant since the day we found out. He was the only one who knew, and frankly, I kind of wanted to keep it that way. He was being very over-protective, more so than usual. He basically treated me like I was in constant danger and insisted that he be with me at all times when Niall wasn't. Putting me in a plastic bubble would be an easier solution.

Niall was out shopping with Liam today so I texted Louis and he nagged me to spend the day at his house until I forcibly agreed.

"Did you tell him?"

I turned to face Louis, watching as he traced my vein lines with his fingers on my arm.

"Not yet."

He sighed heavily and shook his head, "how much longer are you going to avoid this?"

"For however long until it goes away."

"It's not going to go away," he replied, tracing circles on my palm.

I bit my lip before nervously adding, "it could, though..."

His hand fell limp on my own, his eyes looking down into mine, "are you kidding me right now?"

I shrugged, "I don't know."

"That's not happening so get it out of your head right now," he told me sternly.

"It would make everything a hell of a lot easier. I could pretend it never happened. Niall would never have to know."

"And what about me? I'd have to know and I don't want to have to keep something like this a secret until I die!"

"I'm not asking you to! I'm just saying-"

"You're being such a selfish brat right now."

I sat up, his hand falling onto the bed, "me? How am I being selfish?"

"You're talking about killing a human being! Have you gone insane? This isn't just about you! What about Niall?"

"He doesn't know! And I don't know if I can even handle telling him about this! You guys are just starting your careers and there's no way that we could raise a child during this!"

"Will you stop talking about our careers, which is second compared to this! You can't just ignore this problem."

I sighed heavily and let my body fall back against Louis' bed. I closed my eyes and put my hands over them, breathing deeply. Why was Louis acting like this was personally affecting him? It's not like this was his child and he's making it seem that this would break his heart if I _aborted_ it. I wasn't a brave enough person to deal with carrying a child inside of me for nine months and then dealing with hours and hours of agonizing labour pains. I wasn't even a brave enough person to tell my boyfriend that he was going to be a Father.

Who would want to be in my situation? No one.

"Baby, look at me," Lou cooed, moving my hands away from my eyes. I could feel the stinging of the water in my eyes as I looked into Louis' hopeful gaze.

"Tell me what to do, Louis. I can't decide on my own," I begged.

He sighed and began tracing circles on my hands once more, "I don't know what to tell you. I know that you have to tell Niall about this. I want you to."

"How's he going to take it?"

"There's no way for us to know, but it'll most likely be the generic shocked expression," he smirked.

"What if he leaves me? I should have told him to wear a condom but it slipped my mind. This is my entire fault. I've ruined both of our lives," I whined to myself.

"He is not going to leave you, trust me, and this is _not_ your fault. Niall is to blame for not protecting his goods."

I let out a laugh and held onto Louis' hand, seeing him smile down at me. He ran a hand over my hair and I leaned into his touch, closing my eyes. There was always something about Louis that made me feel safe. That I always had someone to go to when everything felt like it was falling apart. Apart from Niall, Louis was my safe place.

"In the one in a billion, trillion chances that Niall doesn't want any part of this..."

I swallowed hard at his words. I didn't want to think about Niall rejecting this as his baby and him leaving me, even though I knew that the chance was there. I didn't want to imagine trying to make it through a pregnancy by myself. Louis' fingers kept gently gliding through my hair, his other hand tightly griping onto mine.

"Maybe I could... take his place?"

My eyes shot open and stared deeply into Louis' soft expression above me. Was he being serious? His voice sure sounded like he was, but I didn't know whether to believe it as sincere. What would that do to his relationship with Niall? Even Harry, who was going to probably burst a frontal lobe when he finds out.

"You want to... be the baby's Dad?" I asked cautiously.

He shrugged lightly, curling some of my hair around his finger, "an Uncle or whatever. I know that Niall won't leave you, but I just... I don't know, I was thinking that I could maybe take the Father figure role if he didn't want to. Just so you wouldn't have to do it alone."

His voice ended in a whisper and he looked lost in his own thoughts. There was a shaky tone in his voice as he spoke. No doubt nervous about asking me if he could be the unofficial Dad to my unborn child. That was bound to cause anyone to be nervous.

"Okay," I agreed, still looking up at him.

He blinked a few times before looking down at me, "what?"

"If Niall leaves me, you can step in."

"Don't say that just to make me feel important or anything."

"I'm not."

"Lezile-"

"I want you to, Louis."

We stayed silent after that. He smiled down at me as he continued playing with my hair. I felt comfortable, despite the chaos going on inside of me. I wasn't sure as to how I was going to break the ultimate crushing news to Niall. Should I take him out to dinner and tell him then so that he can't cause a scene and yell? Maybe I could phone him and tell him and just hang up so that he could digest the news. Or I could have a lengthy conversation at home with him and explain everything and discuss our options? Maybe Louis would tell him for me?

"Stop over-thinking, love," Louis said, breaking my thoughts.

"You would be too if you were in my shoes."

"I'm thanking God that I'm not a girl," he sighed dramatically. Yeah, I bet you are, you lucky bastard.

"I was thinking about how to tell Niall."

"Just be outright with it. Rip the bandage off, it'll make it a lot less painful."

"I just don't know what to do."

"I know you're really confused, but you can talk it all out with me if you need to."

My stomach twisted as Lou stared down at me and the silence began taking over, "you know you're not going to have this taut tummy for long."

I gulped silently as he ran his hands over my stomach gently. I could feel the heat from his fingers through the fabric of my shirt and my stomach held a fluttering feeling. One of his hands rested on my knee, tracing circles. He bit his lip, "can I ask you something?"

I crossed my arms over my stomach, breathing in and out achingly, trying to settle my mess of nerves, "yeah, Lou, anything."

"Do you ever wonder about," he paused and took a deep breath.

"Wonder about what?" I asked.

"About what it would be like if you an-"

"Oh God," I moaned, holding my hand over my mouth and jumping off the bed. I ran out of Lou's room and into the bathroom, barely making it there in time as I threw up into the porcelain bowl.

"Shit," I heard Louis mumble over the sound of my stomach contents emptying out in front of me. He held my hair back and leaned next to me, resting his head against my shoulder.

I wiped my mouth and sat upward, looking to Lou, who was staring at the wall, biting his lip. I thought about the fluttering feeling in my stomach before deciding that it was just my unborn child getting warmed up for the fun it's going to have torturing me for the next eight months.

***Niall's POV***

"For the tenth time, put your phone away!" Liam screeched in my ear. I bit my lip as I checked the screen once more. _No new messages_.

"Fine," I groaned, surrendering.

"Why didn't you just stay home if you were going to miss her so much?"

"I didn't want to blow you off," I chuckled, "besides, I see her all the time."

"Clearly not enough if you keep checking your phone..."

I shrugged, "she's been acting a bit dodgy, don't you think? Ever since we got back, she's barely spoken to me, and it seems awkward for her when she does."

"I haven't noticed," he remarked, looking at the shelves of shoes in front of us, "this is the first I'm hearing about it."

I shoved my hands in my pockets, my fingers gripping my phone tightly, _begging_ for it to vibrate, "what if she's cheating on me?"

Liam let out a laugh, facing me, "I think you've gone mentally ill."

"It could happen! I mean, I cheated on her..."

Liam's gaze intensified on me and his jaw tightened, "she's an amazing girl, Niall. She wouldn't do that to you."

"But-"

"Just because you did, doesn't mean that she will."

I could practically _feel_ the air become tense and awkward between us and I dropped the subject; of cheating, anyways. I looked down at the ground once more before speaking, "I have to tell you something, it's kind of eating away at me."

He stiffened as his eyes travelled back up to meet mine, "last time you started a sentence that way, I ended up screaming at you and shielding you from a murderous Harry..."

I recalled the memory. I had never felt more of lowlife in all my years. Admitting that I'd been a scumbag and cheated on my girlfriend, especially to boys who I looked to as Brother's, was the hardest thing to ever do in my life. No way was I ever going to make that same mistake again.

"I didn't cheat on her, I swear. I wouldn't make the same mistake twice," I hastily answered, seeing the light return to his eyes.

"Thank God," he laughed, "whatever you have to say now can't be that bad," he finished, turning back to the shelves.

"I read Lezile's texts," I said guiltily.

"Ugh, Jesus Christ, Niall," Liam droned out grudgingly, turning back to me, and just as quick as the light had returned to his eyes, it disappeared.

"I couldn't help it!"

"Yeah, you could've! It's called common courtesy, you should learn some."

"She's my girlfriend! I got nervous," I defended.

"So? I never read Amanda's texts the whole time we were dating! What if Lezile would read yours? Would she like what she sees?"

"Besides the cheeky texts from you lads, there's nothing for her to see."

"You're not understanding my point, Niall," he sighed, leaving the store. I followed, right by his side.

"Do you want to know what I read?"

He shook his head, "no, I don't."

"Come on, Liam, you're my best mate! I need to talk about this to someone. I can't rely on Harry anymore!"

He stopped and faced me, "fine, spit it out. What did you read?"

"Texts between her and Louis."

"And what were the two innocent mates chatting about, huh?" He spat sarcastically. Seeing a pissed off Liam always upset me. He was usually calm, but it seemed that whenever I mentioned Lezile, he _always_ flew off the handle.

I sighed, running my hands through my hair, "Louis was begging her to tell me something. It didn't say what, but she kept trying to avoid what he was saying."

"And?"

"_And_? Are you serious! They're hiding something from me. Louis kept telling her that it wasn't right for them to hide 'this' from me. What the hell do you think that means, Liam? _Cheating!_"

"You're jumping the gun here, Niall."

"Lou said them, as in him and her," I began panicking. What if they were having an affair together? I don't think that I could stand losing her _again_, after all I'd done to get her back, "I don't know what else it could be besides them sleeping together."

"You've got to get a grip, mate," he said angrily, "I know Lezile, and she would never do that to you, especially not with Louis."

"I just don't know what she could be hiding from me. It's killing me."

"Then ask her."

I nodded and quickly pulled out my phone, hitting the green call button on her contact name.

"What are you doing?" Liam asked nervously, staring intently at me as I raised the phone to my ear, my heart racing.

"Finding out what's going on."

"Right _now_?" He asked, looking around us. I was silently thanking the Lord that we'd only been recognized by a few fans. No one was crowding us now.

"Niall, I really don't think you sh-"

I held my hand up to silence him as the ringing stopped and Lezile's voice rang through the phone.

"Niall? Hey babe," she said sweetly. Recently she'd been calling me 'babe' quite a bit. Something she definitely learnt from Lou...

"Hey, love," I greeted, "what are you up to?"

"Me? Oh, um, nothing really. Hanging out, watching TV. How's shopping with Liam?"

"It's good, really good."

There was someone else on the other end with her, I could hear the rustling. My heart raced as my brain conjured up wild images that she was trying to pull clothes back on after sleeping with someone else.

"Who's that with you?" I asked, a little more rudely than it should have come out.

"No one," she replied instantly, "well, no, not _no one_."

My eyes widened nervously. Liam saw my expression and creased his eyebrows, mouthing a _'what?'_ to me.

"Oh, who is it? Mum?"

"No, I'm actually not at the house right now..."

I furrowed my eyebrows together, "where are you?"

"I'm at Louis' house."

I sighed and ran my hand over my forehead, feeling tense. They were definitely hiding something from me, I could feel it.

"So you're at Louis'?"

Liam stretched his mouth into a firm line, sending me a mournful look as my suspicions were rising once again.

"Yeah, but he's taking me home right after we get some dinner, so I'll um, see you at home?"

"See you at home," I replied dryly.

"I lov-"

I hung up the phone, cutting her off. I groaned and shoved my phone angrily in my pocket. I felt Liam's eyes bore into me, but I didn't look up to meet his gaze. Was she actually cheating on me with Louis? I knew that I'd made a mistake before, but that was all in the past now, wasn't it? I thought that we had moved on from that, but I was nervous that she hadn't and that she was going to make me suffer by being with Louis.

"Niall, they're close, you know they're just hanging out," Liam stated, trying to comfort me. It wasn't working.

"Yeah," I grinned unconvincingly, "they're just friends."

***Lezile's POV***

"Promise me you'll tell him tonight," Louis begged, grabbing onto my hand. We were standing right outside the doorway. Part of me was paranoid that Niall was listening eagerly on the other side of the door.

"Okay, yeah."

"No, say it."

"Fine, Lou! I promise, I'll tell him."

"Good girl," he smiled. My stomach filled with an acidic feeling, like butterflies mixed with nausea and a never ending feeling of euphoria.

"Call me if you need me," he placed a quick kiss on my forehead before letting go of my hand and retreating back to his car.

I watched as he pulled out and drove down the street. I breathed out nervously and made my way inside the house, which was eerily silent. I kicked off my shoes and walked up the stairs, each individual step making me more nervous that I ever thought that I'd be.

"Niall?" I called out.

"In here," he called back. I walked into his room; he was lying on the bed, eyes fixated on the ceiling. I put on my best fake smile as I sat down next to him.

"Hey you," I grinned, resting my hand on his arm.

He smiled back lazily, "hey, beautiful."

"So thanks for hanging up on me earlier. Way to hurt my lil ole' feelings."

He smirked, "Sorry, but you can say whatever you were going to say earlier, now."

I smiled and settled myself on Niall's hips, a leg on either side. A huge smile spread across his face as he leaned up, keeping himself up by his hands on the bed behind him.

"I was saying that I loved you earlier," I smiled to him, his eyes brightening.

He lightly pushed his lips onto mine, smiling into the brief kiss.

"And now?" he whispered.

"More than before," I replied, making him grin before pressing my lips to his once more. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pushing myself closer to him. Niall began getting carried away, his hands gripping onto my hips.

The kissing continued for a couple more minutes before Niall's hands slid around front, grazing my stomach. I pulled away instantly, swinging my legs off of him. I don't know why I reacted like that. It didn't feel right, him gripping onto where our future child was just... sitting. It was paranormal, almost.

"What's going on?" He groaned, "for the past few days, every time I try and get close to you, you pull away from me. Is it something I did?"

"No, of course not."

"Then explain to me what is going on with you? You and Louis keeping secrets from me, you pulling away every time we even get a _little_ intimate and you barely speak to me now."

"Me and Louis keeping secrets from you? I never mentioned anything like that," I defended. I thought about it before my eyes narrowed at him, "You didn't."

He stood off the bed and shrugged, stepping towards me, "I wanted to know what the hell was going on with you."

"So you read through my messages?"

"Yeah, and now I'm a thousand times more paranoid than I was."

"Why?"

"Louis practically _begging _you to tell me this huge secret that you two are keeping! If you're cheating on me, then tell me right now."

"Cheating? On you? Why the hell would you think that? I thought we were past this whole Louis jealousy thing!"

"We are!"

"Evidently not!"

"What am I supposed to think when he's begging you to tell me this huge secret and you're always with him?"

"I don't know, you should trust me for starters!"

"I do, it's just I'm seriously confused, what is this god damn secret?"

"It's nothing, Niall," I deferred. Biggest understatement of life right there.

"Please, babe, just tell me," he held my hands in his, his eyes pleading. I didn't want to just blurt out that he was going to be a Dad.

"I don't want you to freak out."

"I won't."

I let out a sarcastic laugh, "oh yeah, you definitely will."

"Whatever's going on with you, just tell me. Let me help you!"

"Well, I'm pregnant."

I hadn't expected to blurt it out so easily, but there it was. Suspended in the thick, tension-filled air above us was my dirty little secret. Niall's hands slipped out of mine and he backed away a couple of feet, staring at the ground, eyes wide, and mouth agape. I had to fight every screaming urge inside of me not to cry.

I could only imagine the millions of thoughts that were circling around in his mind at the moment. His eyes slowly shifted back up to meet mine. They looked drained and empty.

"Niall," I spoke cautiously. I didn't want to startle him. For all I know, he was in a comatose state.

"I uh," he whispered, his eyes still staring deep into mine.

"I'm gonna, just-"

I gulped, waiting to hear the rest of his words. His reaction was making me nervous. It wasn't at all what Louis had built me up to expect.

"I'm just gonna go for a walk," he mumbled, basically to himself.

I watched him as he walked past, staring at the floor. My heart was pounding against my chest, begging to break free as my boyfriend, and the Father of my baby, walked away from me. I was expecting, or at least hoping that he would be excited and overjoyed, like in those cheesy teen movies, but he wasn't. This wasn't a movie; this was real life, in all its tattered glory.

Niall stopped at the bedroom door, turning his body halfway to glance at me, "you know what kills me?" His tone was a little harsh, but I tried to look past it. He just found out that he'd gotten a girl pregnant; even I'd be a little upset to hear that. I shook my head, urging for him to continue.

"You told Louis before you told me."

If it was possible for my heart to stop beating when I was alive, I think it just came pretty close. His voice was barely an audible whisper, his blue eyes blinking away loose tears. He looked away from me and left the room, leaving a deafening silence after him.

I had thought that there would be screaming about how stupid we both were or that I should have told him to use a condom, or at least what we would plan on doing about this. The only thing that seemed important enough for him to cry over was the fact that I told his best friend that I was pregnant before I told him. I looked down and rested my hands over my stomach. Inside of me, our baby... _Niall's_ baby, was happily growing, unaware of the drama that was occurring in the outside world. I was desperately praying that we wouldn't have to do this on our own.

**Hi, hi! Sorry it's taken me awhile to upload, but I hope you enjoyed this, as usual. Let me know what you think, OR are hoping will happen? :) I love hearing from you guys, so review please cause IT MAKES ME HAPPY :D Love you's!**

**Also, have you guys heard the leaked songs by the boys? They're just...aaahhhhh, and the Little Things video with Niall like STARING INTO MY SOUL? Nope. NOPE. I couldn't. Let's fangirl together, shall we? X**

**Stay safe and weird, beauties.**


	34. What If

"_**What if what I want makes you sad at me, and is it all my fault or can I fix it please?"**_

The sun had set hours ago, covering Mullingar in a tender darkness, but leaving me a dark wreck of restlessness. Niall had left hours ago after finding out that he was going to be a Dad, and with no word of where he is or if he's alright, I had begun to fear the worst on two levels; that he didn't want to be involved with being a Father, or that he'd been brutally gang beaten by a bunch of thugs. I hoped his reason for not calling wasn't the latter. The house had been silent practically all night and every time one of the floorboards creaked or a gust of wind hit the outside of the house, my heart would leap into my throat and stop my breathing, just at the faint hope that Niall had come back home.

I should have tried to stop him from leaving. I should have told him that I hadn't exactly _told_ Louis that he was pregnant, but that somehow the little weirdo had figured it out. I should have said something, but I just stood and watched him leave. I paced back and forth in his room, staring at the clock, then back to my phone, then to the door. I couldn't keep my focus on anything long enough. What if Niall comes back and decides that he no longer wants me here anymore? I'd have nowhere to go. I know that if I asked, Louis would take over for Niall in a heartbeat and even though I agreed to let him, I couldn't be that selfish.

I picked up my phone; no new messages or calls.

I scrolled quickly through my Favorites before pressing the call button and waiting for the other end to pick up.

"What's up, babe? You tell him?"

"Louis, Niall's gone!"

I hadn't meant to shriek, but it was a sort of reflex considering that my boyfriend had up and left without so much as a word about where he was going.

"What do you mean he's gone?"

"I told him that I was pregnant and then he just left," I said quickly.

"Did he say anything?" Louis asked quietly.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, "he said that he couldn't believe that you knew before he did. He thinks I told you first."

Lou was silent on the phone for a few moments, probably letting what I said sink in.

"Did you tell him that wasn't true?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I did! I'm worried Louis, what if he doesn't come back?"

"It's his house, he's going to come back."

"And what if he decides he no longer wants me in it? Then what am I going to do?"

"Then you go to plan B."

"Which is?"

"Me."

I breathed out a light sigh, rubbing my free hand across my forehead. Louis' voice sounded desperate, _pleading_ almost. I wanted him to be here with me, waiting for Niall. I wanted comfort, and at the moment, there was no source of that.

"Louis..."

"Think about it, we could live together, and I'd help you take care of the baby. It wouldn't be _ideal_, but it's a fallback if you need one," he exclaimed excitedly. I don't think that Louis had quite realized that real life House doesn't go as well as it did when kids played it. He made it seem like it would be easy and a lot of fun, when it'd only be heartache and months of no sleep.

"I'm just hoping it doesn't come to that."

"Ouch, love," he laughed.

I tried to laugh along with him, but my throat was bound so tight together from stress that I couldn't even make a squeak, "oh God, Louis, I want him home..."

"I know, babe," he whispered, "have you tried calling him or anything?"

"Yeah, I've called, texted and yet no answer. I'm about ready to send a carrier pigeon because I'm freaking out."

"He just needs time to think."

"About what though? About leaving me and not wanting to be a Father and help me? The more time he has to think, the more he's going to come to the conclusion that all I do is mess things up for him!"

"Lezile, please, you need to calm down! Everything is going to be fine, I promise. Do you need me to come over?"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, "no," I barely whispered, "I'm fine."

"I can come over and wait with you, it's not a problem."

"It's okay, Lou," I mumbled.

I heard shuffling on his end and I pressed my ear harder against the phone trying to hear, "what are you doing?" I asked.

"Getting my shoes on, I'm coming over. You're not okay."

"No, Lou, stop! I'm fine, seriously. Like you said, everything will be okay."

"But you're freaking and now I'm getting worried about you."

"For now, I'm fine," I lied, "but if things don't clear up soon, I'll call you, I swear."

"Honestly? Don't lie to me."

"Honestly," I replied.

"The _second_ you need me, call me. I don't care what time."

I smiled, "thanks Louis."

"I'm here for you, love."

I stepped out of Niall's room and stood at the top of the stairs, looking down at the door, mentally begging for it to open, but it didn't. There was no noise in the house. The house, like me, was dead inside.

"I'll call you later," I stated dryly.

I heard him sigh before speaking, "okay, and hey, Lezile?"

"Yeah, Lou?"

"I love you."

His voice was sweet as he spoke, and in my mind, I could see him smiling as the words left his lips. If anything, I would die if I didn't have Louis by my side.

"I love you too," I replied, feeling my stomach elate at my own response.

"Get some rest, babe. Sleep tight."

"Night, Louis."

I ended the call and stood in silence at the top of the stairs. My hands trembled as I brought them to my stomach. This unborn human being inside of me was tearing my relationship with Niall apart, and I know that once the other boys find out, all hell is going to break loose. Especially between Harry and I. For reasons still unknown to me, he still resents me so much because we broke up. He deserved better, and because of me his own relationship with Niall had suffered because of me. He is never going to forgive me after he finds out about this.

The nerves in my stomach made me feel sick. I was over-thinking everything. Maybe everything would work out in the end, or, maybe I was being a naive little girl in thinking that anything good could come out of this situation. Was I capable of bringing a new life into this world? Into Niall's world? Or would I end up like my own Mother and find myself resenting my own child after awhile, for taking away my young life? It's not it's _our_ child's fault. They didn't ask to be born, it was mine and Niall's stupidity that got us into this situation, and somehow we were going to have to dig our way out, hopefully together.

***Niall's POV***

The temperature had dropped in the town, making me shiver under my thin sweater. I was sat on a bench downtown. I had wandered around aimlessly for Lord knows how many hours, trying to come to a sensible solution to this _problem_. How could we have been so stupid and not used a condom? What the hell am I even saying; how could _I_ have been so stupid and not use one. I should have known better.

I had never thought that this would be my life. Being given the chance to actually record an album and start a career being in One Direction was a big enough shock to my system, but this... This was something that had topped it, in a better or worse way, I had no idea. I was scared, one hundred percent, but I was thinking about Lezile and how scared she must be. She's actually carrying our baby, and I just walked out on her. Not completely, but even for a few hours, not knowing where I went to must be killing her.

I thought about our options. The one that I didn't want to think about, _abortion_, kept ringing through my mind. It would be an easier end to our problems, but that was risky for Lezile, and I didn't want to force her into a decision, especially about killing our own future son or daughter. We could have the baby and then give it up to parents who are more suited to take care of it, but then the thought of going through nine months of anticipation waiting for our child to be born, then to have it ripped from our arms the moment we see it wasn't something that I wanted to witness. Finally, Lezile and I could keep the baby and have our own Family, but with my career just starting out, I didn't see an easy way to live that out, especially with us just being kids ourselves.

I watched a few parents pass by with their kids, happily running with them, holding their hands as they crossed the street and smiling as they laughed. They made it look so easy, raising a little human being. There was so much to do though; teach them good manners and to be polite, teach them the ways of the world, feed them, buy them clothes, show them right from wrong, and love them unconditionally. My stomach clenched tightly. If I had to, would I be able to do this?

My phone vibrated in my sweater pocket and I let out a deep breath, knowing that Lezile was phoning me again. I was tempted to turn it off awhile ago, but part of me wanted to know if she was still worried and would phone me. I'm a sick person to make her suffer like that, but it made me feel loved, in a very odd way. I pulled it out of my sweater, the vibration still going. I looked down at the screen, expecting to see the contact photo of my beautiful girlfriend, but it wasn't her.

_Incoming Call from Louis Tomlinson_

My jaw clenched at the sight of his name. He kept this secret from me for God knows how long, and he just expects me to talk to him like nothing happened? My finger hovered over the _End_ button, which is what I should have pressed, but I didn't.

I hastily pressed the phone to my ear, "Can I help you?" I snapped.

"Yeah, go home!"

"Excuse me?"

"Go home to _your_ girlfriend before I take my ass over there."

"Maybe you should. You always seem so eager to."

"She's having a fit thinking that something's happened to you. She doesn't even care about herself right now, you selfish asshole, she's worried sick about you!"

My heart dropped a little at his words, but I kept my voice firm despite it's willingness to break.

"I'll go home when I've figured this out."

Louis' voice turned angry, "When you figure this out? What's there to even figure out? She's your girlfriend, you love her, she needs you so you need to go home and be with here!"

"It's not that simple, Louis!" I shouted, causing a few people to glance in my direction.

"Yes, it is. If I were you, I wouldn't have left the house at all. I would have stayed there."

His voice softened and I waited for him to continue.

"I would have stayed there and held her and told her that I wouldn't leave and that everything would be okay. I'd say that we would get through it together. I would tell her I love her."

I was about to respond, but he spoke up hastily, "I-if I was you..."

"That's what you would do if you were in my shoes?"

"Yeah, without a doubt."

We stayed silent on the phone for what felt like forever, his words ringing through my mind. Louis was a better man than I ever would be. All I am is a coward.

"I gotta go," I whispered.

"Home," he stated firmly.

I ended the call and stood up, staring at my phone in my hands. I had no more energy to fight with Louis. It seemed that I had no energy to do anything, except fight for the one thing that mattered in my life; my Family.

***Lezile's POV***

Eventually, I had fallen asleep after countless paces around Niall's room. I had come to the conclusion that he wasn't going to return home tonight. He'd probably crash at Liam's and talk about how I've ruined his life.

I awoke to the dark of Niall's room, my eyes stinging from the tears that I'd cried earlier. I sniffled and wiped my eyes, waking myself up. I turned myself around on the bed and noticed a dark figure sitting next to me. I recognized the eyes immediately, even in the dark.

"Hey," I whispered groggily, staring up at him.

His lips stretched into a delicate smile. He rubbed my arm lightly, "I'm sorry if I woke you," he whispered back.

I shook my head, "you didn't."

He nodded once and continued to rub my arm soothingly. I wanted to break down in tears again at the sight of him. I was so happy that he was okay, but I knew that on the inside, he wasn't. As I looked at his eyes, his were staring down at my stomach and they weren't shining with happiness, but with a deep sadness that I understood all too well.

"I am so sorry, baby," He whispered, choking on his own words, "I shouldn't have left you. I should have stayed here and held you and made sure you were okay, but I didn't."

His hand left my arm and he buried his face into the palms of his hands. His body began to shake lightly and my eyes widened at the sight. I sat upright; taking in the sight of Niall's broken down state.

"I feel so stupid and guilty for leaving," he spoke, taking shaky breaths. He lifted his head from his hands and wiped at the tears that had fallen onto his cheeks. I began rubbing soft circles on his back to try and calm him down.

"I'd be lucky to have you want to start a Family with me. I don't deserve to have you in my life and I don't deserve to have you Mother my child."

"Niall..," I whispered delicately. He was talking like a crazy person. He'd been so angry hours ago, and now he was breaking down in tears because he thought he wasn't good enough. Maybe we were perfect for each other; we're both damaged.

"You deserve someone who's not selfish like me," he whimpered, wiping at his cheeks again.

"Niall, stop!" I pleaded gently, "I love you so much. I was mad that you left earlier, but you came back. I'm sorry for putting this on you when you've already got so much going on, but I need you."

He sniffed away his tears and finally met my eyes. His were drained and exhausted looking.

"What are we going to do?" He asked quietly.

I continued rubbing his back as I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know, and I'm really scared."

He took my hand gingerly before standing up and pulling me with him. I was confused at first, but once he bent down and wrapped his arms around me, the confusion faded. I buried my face into his shoulder, as he buried his own into my neck, gripping me tight.

"I'm scared too," he whispered.

His words rang happily inside my head. Knowing that I wasn't the only terrified one in this situation not only made me realize that this is real, but that I wasn't going to have to deal with an equally created problem alone.

"What should we do about this?" I asked.

"Shh," he cooed, rubbing my back, "don't talk now, just hold onto me."

I smiled into his shoulder, locking my fingers together around his back, breathing in the familiar comfort that Niall always gave. He squeezed his arms around my waist before letting his head fully rest on my shoulder. That one squeeze was what I needed. We didn't need to kiss, we didn't need sex, we just needed to know that we were both here for one another. The silence around us drowned out the pain from earlier.

I was scared and I knew that he was as well. We weren't prepared for this. Louis thought that I was, and if being around him has taught me anything, it's that keeping positive and believing that everything will be okay, will eventually make it so.

"I'm not going to let you go through this alone," Niall whispered, breaking me out of my thoughts.

My eyes began watering at what we were about to face together, and I had never been more scared in my entire life, but at his words, my stomach lifted with happiness. I wasn't sure if it was the baby or just me, but in the moment, I knew that all three of us were okay.

**Hey guys, really sorry it's taken me forever to update this, but I've had 1000 things to do, and I messed my wrist up the other day so I was unable to write this. I hope this Chapter is okay, I didn't really like it, but hopefully you guys did, and I'm not going to let the updating take that long anymore! I know it drives you guys bonkers (trust me, I've gotten messages about it), but I'm constantly busy and usually too tired to write, but I'm going to change that.**

**The story is also ALMOST nearing the end, not quite, there's still a bit that has to happen, but ya know, heads up!**

**Review, please? Cause even though I torture you guys with stupid updates, I'm going to be selfish and ask for them ;) x**


	35. Don't Let It Break Your Heart

Everything was where it should be. Plates were stacked in the center of the table, knives and forks placed to the left of them, napkins to the right. Food was scattered along the countertop. Nothing was out of place, and as I set out the drinks, a sudden heaviness fell upon me. Mum was starting at me from the corner of her eyes as she fumbled around the kitchen, double checking everything. The air was thick between us, making it hard for me to breathe around her.

It had been a week since we told her and Niall's Dad that I was pregnant, and to say that it was little rocky would be an understatement. Mum had burst into tears the moment the words 'Lezile's pregnant,' had slipped from Niall's lips. His Father had just stared at us with wide eyes, unmoving. They gave us the speech about how irresponsible we had been, like normal parents, but then they also said that they were excited. Which emotion was more prominent than the other, I had yet to figure out, but I was fairly certain that disappointment was the winner.

We had told the boys as well, minus Harry; who were all excited, especially Louis even though he already knew. I think it was the prospect of becoming Uncles that Louis had informed them all about that had gotten them all excited. We were all holding off on telling Harry of the pregnancy. Zayn had suggested it first because, as he said, Harry's temper has gotten worse recently and he didn't want any more fighting. Even thought I had pressed further onto the subject, Niall just shook his head at Zayn, signalling not to tell me.

I still felt Mum's eyes on me as she wandered the kitchen, rearranging things and then placing them back in their original spots.

"I am sorry, you know," I mumbled, feeling knots tighten in my lower stomach.

She froze, hands on the countertop. I saw her back rise and fall slowly before she turned around to face me, "I know you are, and I'm not mad."

"You're not? But when we told yo-"

"_Then_ I was angry. I just thought and hoped that you two would have been more careful than you were, and I was mad that you proved me wrong."

Despite the softness of her spoken words, they still stabbed at my heart.

She continued, "But you're carrying my grandchild and I'm really happy about that. It's just a lot to take in and get used to."

I nodded and let my eyes drift down to my stomach. I placed my hands gingerly over top of my skin, rubbing circles.

"You're going to be a great Mum. Of that, I'm sure."

I met her gaze and she smiled at me, the happy expression finally reaching her eyes. She stepped around the table and wrapped me in arms, a feeling of warmth and protection washing over me.

Loud banging resounded from the living room, causing Mum to shift away from me slightly as she tilted her head to see out of the kitchen. Voices that were inaudible soon burst into life as shuffling feet scurried into the house.

Mum smiled down at me, "show time."

I let out a small laugh as she ushered me into the living room. Niall's eyes met mine and he smiled, causing the others to follow his gaze until it was finally landed on me. Smiles graced all the faces around me, making me mildly uncomfortable.

"Hey Mama!"

I laughed as arms flung themselves around me, rocking me back and forth, "Hey, Liam," I greeted, my words muffled into his shoulder as he squeezed me against him.

"Share some, Liam! Mum hugs are the best!"

Liam let go as Zayn shuffled past him, wrapping his arms around my waist and giving me a gentle squeeze. He let go and gave me one of his stunning smiles before retreating back to his conversation with Niall and Liam.

Louis was standing by the door, staring at his feet as he twisted his heel against the floorboards. He seemed off; he wasn't speaking with the boys, nor was he even looking at anyone. I walked over nervously as he slowly lifted his head, eyes meeting mine. He smiled a very weak smile before gently placing the bag in his hand on the floor and taking the few last steps to meet me. I wrapped my arms around his neck as his slide all the way around me, hooking together at my back.

"What's wrong?" I whispered into his ear.

He shook his head a few times before leaving multiple light kisses to my cheek, "nothing's wrong," he whispered against my skin.

More knocks came from the door, causing me and Louis to reluctantly let go of one another. Mum rushed in from the kitchen with Dad, practically flinging the door open and off its hinges as she was smothered in hugs by many people. I knew that they were all going to be here, but I still felt all of my muscles tense in their presence.

I felt Louis' fingers slide around on my back, attempting to ease my nerves, but nothing was helping. Fingers entwined with mine as I was pulled away, Louis' touch falling away. I looked behind me to see Lou rubbing his fingers together before turning and sitting down with the boys. In the moment, I didn't want to meet all of these people, I just wanted to run over and comfort Louis. I knew something was bugging him. The usual playful gleam in his eyes was gone, replaced with a dull emotion that was easily readable on him.

Despite the internal fight I was having with myself, I let Niall drag me over to the panel of judge's that I was going to have to win over; his Family.

***Harry's POV***

The shrill ringing continued in my ear, call after call.

'_Tommo here, leave a message, I'll call ya when I can!'_

I groaned and hung up the once more, scrolling through my contacts. That's the fourth time I've tried Louis' cell phone today and he hasn't answered once. I texted Zayn a few times to see if he wanted to do something today but he said he was busy all day, leaving me in a suffocating cloud of boredom by myself. I phoned Liam as well, but no answer.

Anger was manifesting itself inside of me as all of my mates were ignoring me. I couldn't very well call Niall up and ask him to catch a Footy game with me, as he'd probably want to bring _his_ girlfriend. I rubbed my fingers over my eyes, letting out a deep breath. It was sickening how she was still underneath my skin, dragging me deeper and deeper each day into a darkness that held me down. As much as I wanted to hate her, I couldn't. She still owned me.

I stared at my phone before once more picking it up and dialing the memorized number. The automated ringing played over through my ears, agitating me with each passing ring. Finally, the ringing was cut off and a voice I hadn't heard in so long came through the speakers.

"Hey."

The voice was dull and quiet. Lifeless, almost.

"Hey, man! Do you want to do something today? Zayn and Li are busy doing whatever, but if you're free then we should hang."

I realized the desperation for human connection made me sound like a whiny girl as I practically begged for someone to spend time with me. I'd been cutting myself off from everyone and now it seems that it was coming back to bite me hard as now everyone else was busy doing their own things.

"Uh, well I'm actually busy doing something right now."

There were voices in the background of his line, laughter and talking.

"Can you get out of it?" I asked quietly.

"I don't really want to, Haz."

A voice cut through the other end of the phone before it was muffled by what I'm assuming is a hand pressed against the phone, "Louis! Who are you talki-"

"No one," I heard him speak.

I felt a heavy feeling settle inside me as he replied to them. I was a no one. A no one who he didn't want that people to discover he was talking to. Was I such an embarrassment to my own best friend that he had to lie about something as small as a phone call?

I heard him sigh heavily before his voice cut through the phone once more, "Harry, I'm busy at the moment. Sorry, mate."

"Whatever," I spat harshly.

There was a few seconds of silence on the phone before a loud laugh came through his end. My eyes narrowed as I strained to hear a little better before his end cut off completely, the dial tone beeping loud into my ear.

I smirked, knowing full who it was that was laughing. I knew exactly where Louis was.

Niall's house.

***Lezile's POV***

"She's a charming girl, Niall," his aunt Chloe said, smiling at the two of us.

Niall's arm was draped across my shoulders, pulling me into him, "she is indeed."

I smiled as I looked around at everyone. Niall's Family was talking with each other, drinks and food in their hands as they laughed with one another. Liam was busy packing away all of the gifts that everyone had brought, even though I told him he didn't have to. Zayn was playing with a couple of Niall's younger cousins, chasing them around the house.

This is what was in store for me; mine and Niall's child running around the house, a big Family coming together, smiles, laughter, and a loving place to live. All the fears that had once clouded my mind seemed to disappear with the happiness that everyone had brought with them. Niall's Family; Aunts, Uncles, and Grandparents were very accepting of me, and of our unborn child.

Everything seemed perfect.

That is, until my gaze landed on a sad, stripe-clad boy sitting on the stairs by himself. I turned back to face Niall, giving him a quick kiss on the lips before saying that I'd be right back. He smiled before taking his arm from around me.

I weaved through the children playing and adults talking until I stood at the bottom of the stairs, watching as Louis stared at his fingertips. Pain struck through me as I looked at his sad state, away from everyone else, alone on the stairs. The bag he had brought in with him was next to his leg. I stepped slowly up the stairs before sitting down next to Louis, leaving no space between us.

"Hey you," I smiled, hoping to get a happy reaction out of him.

"Hi," he mumbled, his gaze not meeting mine.

"What's got you so down?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah, that's believable," I said with a smirk. His lips twitched up quickly before falling back down into a straight line.

"It's stupid," he replied, "like really embarrassing."

"I'm sure it's not that bad."

"Don't mock me," he mumbled embarrassingly.

"I won't, I promise."

Louis took a deep breath before staring down at everyone having a good time and laughing.

"I'm jealous."

I repeated his words, making sure that I had heard him correctly. When he nodded, I kept quiet so that he could continue.

"You've got someone who would literally die trying to give you the world. I don't know, I just... I want someone like that, or I want someone to be able to spoil and kiss whenever I want."

"You'll have that one day, Louis. It's not like you're going to be by yourself forever."

"What if I don't find someone? Look at me, Lezile. It's not like I could make anyone happy."

He held his head in his hands as he spoke, shaking his head. He looked lost, like a little child who needed comforting.

"Louis," I cooed, running my hands through the back of his hair, trying to calm him, "you're amazing and anyone would be lucky to have you want to be with them."

"That's just something people say to make others feel better," he said, voice muffled by his hands.

"I'm not lying," I said gently, resting my chin on his shoulder, "you're sweet and caring. How many people would offer to take over as Father for someone? No one except you and that just proves how selfless you are. I love that about you. You're also the funniest guy I know, even if you think the jokes you say are stupid," I continued as I ran my fingertips through his hair, "and you're pretty easy on the eyes. You are handsome, Lou."

I smiled as he lifted his head, a small smile playing on his lips, "you think I'm handsome?" he asked, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

I giggled as I turned my head to rest my cheek against his shoulder, "that's all you got out of all of that?"

"Sorry," he chuckled, taking my hand and playing with my fingers.

"I meant every word I said. I could say more, but that'd be weird," I laughed.

The other's laughter filled the room as they were unaware of the quiet huddle Louis and I were having.

"I want someone like you..."

My heart picked up a little bit at his words. His voice was quiet as he said it but I knew what I heard. I didn't lift my head up to look in his eyes; my body couldn't bring itself to move.

"No you don't."

He sighed, resting his head against mine as he gripped my hand, "I guess it's my turn to name off my favorite things about you," he spoke quietly.

I shook my head a little, "No, Lou-"

"Shhh, babe."

I stayed quiet, waiting for the inevitable words to leave his lips. I internally smiled at the thought of what Louis was going to say.

"You're down to earth, there's nothing fake about you. You accept the fact that you make mistakes like everyone else and don't try to hide them. You're really sweet to everyone, even people who've tried to hurt you..."

I had wondered if Louis was talking about Harry, because as my mind processed his words, that's who had come to mind. I knew Harry was gentle and sweet, but the boys made it seem like he had become a completely different person; a horrid one.

"You're protective of who you love. This is going to sound really ridiculous, but whenever I see you, I'm instantly happier and whenever I'm not around you, I miss you a lot. Also, you're really easy on the eyes; you're really beautiful."

My cheeks burned with each word that Louis said, the sincerity in his tone making everything that much sweeter. I felt his head shift against mine, and I lifted my head to look at him. His cheeks had turned a rosy colour as he tried to turn away from me. I gently grabbed a hold of his chin and turned him back to face me, a huge smile gracing my lips. I leaned in towards him and placed my lips against his cheek, giving him multiple, sweet pecks.

He chuckled as I leaned against him, "I really love you."

I giggled as I replied, "Yeah, I love you too."

"Oi! Quit trying to steal my girl, Tommo!"

I looked past Louis, through the wooden bars on the stairs to see Niall grinning at us as he motioned his index finger back and forth. I smiled as he walked to the bottom of the stairs before climbing up and sitting on a step below me, in between my legs. I wrapped my arm over his shoulder, dangling in front of him until his fingers entwined with mine, leaving kisses against the back of my hand. I leaned down and kissed the top of his head, muttering an 'I love you,' which he happily reciprocated.

I should have known that happy moments don't last long, because the door clicked, all of our heads snapping to the late guest. It was no one that I had been expecting, far from it.

It was Harry.

***Niall's POV***

As I held on tightly to Lezile's hand, my head shot up to see who had come in so late. I hadn't thought that we were expecting anyone else. All of our Family was here, the lads...

"Thanks for the invite, mate," Harry's deep, raspy voice said harshly.

I gulped nervously as Lezile's grip on my hand became tighter. I turned behind me to see her staring back at Harry, the nerves obviously outlining her features. I also noticed Lezile's other hand was tightly gripped in Louis'...

Harry shut the door behind him, some of my Family still watching him as he walked in. Others had drifted back into their conversations. Lezile, the lads and I definitely hadn't.

"Cozy party you're having. My invite get lost in the post?" His attitude and gaze were harsh and he stood at the end of the stairs, looking at all of us. I noticed his gaze flick to Lezile, my hand immediately tightening around her small one.

"Harry, now's not the time, it's a Family thing happening."

"Yeah? And what am I to you? Louis and everyone else is here. _She's_ here," he spat.

"Haz, please," Louis pleaded behind me.

I let go of Lezile's hand before pushing myself up from my seat on the steps before trying to usher Harry out of the house.

"I'll talk to you later, Harry, please."

"Why was I the only one not invited, Niall? You're like a Brother to me."

"It's a uh, private thing going on. It's just not good for you to be here."

I sensed that my words hurt him, which I hadn't meant, but if he stayed here any longer then he was bound to find out about Lezile being pregnant with my child.

"It's not, eh? Too bad."

He brushed past me and into the kitchen, disappearing behind the door. I ran my hands over my face, uttering curse words to myself. Hands slipped around my waist as I felt Lezile's body press against mine.

"Is he staying?" I heard Louis ask.

I nodded as Lezile's hands ran over my skin protectively. It wasn't me that needed protecting, it was her. Harry came back from the kitchen with a drink in his hand, raising it in the air towards us as he walked past and into the living room where he began talking to a very confused Liam and Zayn.

"Maybe he won't find out," Lezile whispered. I knew she was clinging onto her last shed of hope, but I knew that he was going to find out. The gifts we'd received were packed away in the corner, but one step too close and he'd know.

"I need a bloody drink," Louis stated from behind me.

"I second that," I replied, grabbing Lezile's hands from my body and pulling her along with me and Louis into the kitchen and away from Harry.

Louis grabbed two beers from the fridge, handing me one. I smirked at Lezile as I sipped from the bottle, teasing her about the fact that she couldn't drink for the next eight months. She rolled her eyes at me before muttering 'prick,' under her breath.

We stayed in the kitchen for nearly a half an hour, Louis occasionally slipping out into the living room to make sure that Harry was behaving himself and to keep him from finding out. I hadn't put a lot of thought into how Harry would react to this and in a way that was insensitive of me, considering he had... History, with Lezile. It'd been months since they've been together, so he should be over it. Right?

"It's going to be okay."

I turned my head towards Lezile, she was staring down at her hands; they were shaking. It was unclear whether she was trying to convince me that it would all be okay, or if she was trying to make herself believe that.

"Hey," I cooed sweetly. I stepped towards her slowly, placing my hands on either side of her waist before placing her on an empty space on the countertop. She closed her eyes as she took deep breaths. It hurt me to see how much stress all of this was causing her and that I couldn't do anything to make her feel better. I whispered to her that everything would be okay, but I knew she didn't believe me. Her gut feeling about something going wrong was nagging at her, I knew it was. I just wish I was able to convince her that I wasn't going to let anything happen to her or our child.

"Niall, your Mum wants you!"

I groaned, closing my eyes. I felt Lezile's small hands push against my chest.

"Go, I'll just wait in here."

"I'll be quick, I promise," I smiled to her, receiving a small one in return.

With a quick kiss to her nervous lips, I left her in the kitchen.

***Lezile's POV***

As I sat on the counter, I rested my head in my hands, running them over my features. I was aware that Family dynamics always had their problems, but I hadn't expected to be having my own at such a young age. I also hadn't predicted that Harry would be one of those problems.

As if on cue, the Devil himself walked into the kitchen.

My body froze, my fingers gripping the countertop to keep myself from falling over the edge. His tall frame moved around the kitchen, my eyes watching his every move. His eyes never made contact with mine, and as his large hands opened a fresh bottle of beer, waves of nausea flooded over me. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as Harry took only one sip of his drink before setting the bottle against the counter, letting his hands travel to the edge of the counter, his muscles tightening as he squeezed.

The only audible sounds in the kitchen were of my racing heartbeat and Harry's single, exasperated sigh.

"When was I going to find out?"

My eyes stayed glued to the back of his neck, his tension practically radiating off of his body. My throat was dry as I attempted to speak out to him, but nothing left my lips. With one last tough grip of the counter, he pushed himself away from it, spinning to face me, his dark eyes staring into mine.

"It's just a Family thing...," the words left my mouth as a barely audible whisper, but I knew Harry heard me. His malicious laugh told me so.

"So that's why the other lads are here, right? They're Family?"

When I didn't speak any more, Harry continued, "How _stupid_ of me to think that I was a part of that Family."

He took aggressive steps towards me, making my head spin nervously as his hardened gaze stayed with me. His mouth opened once more, and I prepared myself for screaming, but what came out was not was I was anticipating.

"You said you wanted _me_, that you wanted _us_ to go further."

His voice had dropped quieter, his words hitting me harder than they would have even if he had started screaming.

"I guess the joke's on me now; now that you're pregnant with Niall's fucking kid."

A shaky breath escaped me as I nervously shook against Harry's words. Venom dripped from every sound that left his lips as his eyes showed as much hatred that his words spoke.

"It wasn't planned," I countered, leaning back against the cupboards as Harry kept closing the space between us. His thighs rested against my knees as he stopped in front of me, his eyes trying to stare into mine.

"Should have kept your legs closed," he spat.

My eyes shot up to his before I shoved my hands against his chest, pushing him away from me. He was un-phased as he quickly stepped back in front of me, even closer this time.

"You teased me the _whole_ time we dated and the _second_ we broke up you ran back here to fuck Niall!" His voice rose angrily but still quiet enough for only us to hear.

"I didn't run back here, and it wasn't right after we broke up. Christ Harry, I wouldn't do that to you!"

His hand rose from his side to touch my stomach, "I thought we agreed _not _to hurt each other," his voice became softer. His hand pushed against my stomach lightly, "_this_ probably just killed any happiness I had left."

I closed my eyes at his words, hanging my head down in front of myself. I didn't dare to look up at his broken expression.

I felt heat against my skin as Harry's fingers grazed my neck and cheek. It was light touch, as if he being protective of himself, not of me. Just as I was about to lift my head to meet Harry's eyes, I heard him choke out 'fuck,' before the heat from my face was gone and the kitchen door was left swinging back and forth, leaving me staring at it until it finally stopped.

Hours later, after what happened with Harry, after everyone had gone home and after the boys had all crashed in the living room, Niall and I had finally gone to bed. I didn't tell him about Harry coming to speak to me, he didn't need to stress about it like I had all afternoon and night. Sleep came easily for Niall, as he happily passed out the second his head came into contact with the pillow. However for multiple hours I had tossed and turned with a hard nauseated feeling in my stomach before I finally drifted to sleep.

At 3am, I awoke to a pain in my abdomen. Something felt wrong. I glanced over to Niall who was still sound asleep, his face buried in his pillow. My hands flew to my stomach as a clenching feeling took over my whole body. As I shifted against the bed, my heart began pounding as my fingers gripped the sheet covering my body, my eyes adjusting through the dark to see.

Underneath me, blood was stained on the sheets.

**Here's an update that took me like two weeks to write because I had crazy Writer's Block. Like I said before, I had messed my wrist up, which took like a month to heal. I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to update, you guys don't deserve that, if any of you are still reading this. And to the Guest that reviewed earlier, I understand that you're mad at me for taking long to update, but you getting angry at me is not helping anything, and yes I do care about this story and about updating for you guys, so do not ever ask me that again.**

**Review if you'd like me to continue or tell me to stop writing this story. It's whatever you guys want now because it seems like everyone is pissed. Sorry again, xx.**


	36. Small Bump

My heart was pounding violently against my chest as I stumbled from the bathroom, pulling up a pair of Niall's track pants. My breathing was ragged as I softly used my hands to push against Niall's arm, attempting to wake him up. I shook him a few more times, but he only stirred.

"Baby, wake up, I need you," I pleaded, shoving him one last time before his eyes slowly opened, focusing themselves on me. He must have taken in my frantic expression because he shot up, swinging his legs over the bed. He cupped my cheeks in his hands, looking over me.

"What's wrong, babe? Are you okay?" He whispered urgently.

I shook my head as I nodded to my side of the bed, Niall's gaze leaving mine as he turned on his bedside lamp before looking down at the bed, at the red stained fabric. His hands stroked my arms softly, and without meeting my gaze, his lips parted as he whispered a low, "get your shoes on, okay," before slipping past me and grabbing his hoodie, pulling it over his head before he slipped on his Supras and grabbed his keys and wallet. His fluidity as he moved made me nervous. Just like me, he _knew_ that something was wrong. He noticed my frozen stance and came over to me, grabbing my hands gently.

"Come on baby, get ready, I'm going to wake up the boys," his voice pleaded before he squeezed my hands.

Painfully, I stepped away from him and grabbed my jacket and slid it on, watching as Niall left the room. I heard his footsteps as he quietly raced down the stairs, waking up the boys. I heard their hushed conversation, their sleepy groans and Niall's frantic pace from where I stood. I grabbed my wallet and slipped on my shoes. Despite the pain that was shooting through my whole body, I managed to make it down the stairs. I heard the car start up from outside. As I was about to look out the window, Niall raced back through the door, his stance showing how scared he was. I pressed my hands against my stomach as he smiled lightly at me, most likely trying to keep my calm.

"The car's started so we can go now, just to make sure you're okay," he said quickly as he reached his hands out for me to take.

Louis appeared from the kitchen, his fringe sweeping above his tired eyes. His sweatpants loosely covered his lower half as he pulled a jacket over his striped t-shirt from earlier.

"Where do you think you're going?" Niall asked as Lou slipped his feet into his TOM's.

"With you two," he replied, his tone merely suggesting the obvious.

"I was only telling you in case you woke up and we weren't here, you don't need to come."

"I'm driving. You need to keep her relaxed and you can't do that while driving like a madman to the hospital. Get in the car."

"Lou-" Niall began, but Louis snapped back at him.

"Get in the god damn car, Niall."

With his last words being said, Louis stalked out of the doorway. Liam and Zayn were nervously looking at the two of us, obviously without a clue of what to do.

"We'll be back soon," Niall merely whispered to them. With a nod of their heads and with a sad smile from Liam, Niall led me out of the house.

Niall and I sat in the back of the car as Louis practically raced to the hospital. The urgency in everyone's actions made me shake with nerves. I was too naive to think that nothing was wrong, but I clung to the last shred of hope in myself that it wasn't too serious. One of Niall's arms was around my shoulders, pulling me against him as his other was gripping the living hell out of my hand. I understand that he was scared as well, but he couldn't have been as nervous as me. After all, this was _my_ body it was happening to.

"I love you," he whispered into my ear, "everything will be fine. I'll make sure you're alright."

I smiled lightly at his words, my happiness not reaching my own action. I looked up into the rear-view mirror to see Louis' eyes staring back at me. I shifted away from his gaze as I tried to bury myself into Niall's frame.

Once we arrived and parked at the hospital, Niall gently guided me out of the backseat as he took my hand and quickly lead us into the building, Louis right next to me. The automatic doors slid open, the anesthetic aroma instantly filing into my nostrils. My nerves clung to me harder as Niall let go of my hand as he walked up to the nurse behind the plate glass cubicle. He was speaking in urgent, rushed tones with her as I held my pained stomach. Her gaze flicked to mine every couple of seconds as Niall continued on.

Louis' fingertips were on my arm, sliding down until he reached one of my hands on my stomach. He pulled one away and intertwined his hand with my own before squeezing it.

Niall finally turned around and stood in front of me, kissing my forehead multiple times.

"What'd she say?" I asked in my involuntarily pained voice.

"She's getting the Doctor right now. You're going to be okay."

I knew that I was going to be okay. The question was; is the baby going to be okay?

Sliding doors under a bright read "_Emergency_" sign opened, revealing a tall man and a small woman nurse next to him.

"Miss. Horan?" They questioned, staring at me with gentle smiles on their faces. My emotions fluttered happily for all too brief a moment as Niall had told the Doctors to list me under his name. Louis' hand dropped from mine as Niall and I walked through the doors, following the Doctor. I felt Lou's eyes on my back until the large doors slid closed behind us.

***Niall's POV***

I paced back and forth in front of the _Emergency_ desk, biting on my fingernails as the Doctors checked on my girlfriend. She'd be in with them for only twenty minutes, though each minute felt like an hour to me.

The door to her room opened and my head shot up, eyes staring at the Doctor who had previously called us in.

"How is she? Is she okay? How's the baby?" I kept firing questions at him until he held up his hands. I walked around him and into the room, seeing Lezile sitting up on a bed, blankets covering her legs. She wasn't in a hospital gown. She was still in my sweatpants and her jacket. I pulled up the chair next to her bed and sat down, grabbing her small hand and linking my fingers through hers. She stared off in front of her, her face straight as an arrow.

"Hun, are you okay? Did they hurt you? Are you hurt? Please tell me you're alright," I rambled, stroking her hand.

I felt the Doctor's presence as he came back in the room. I felt his stare on us. He cleared his throat as I made my eyes meet his. Why wasn't Lezile looking at me? Worry ran through me as I took in her stone-like appearance.

"Mr. Horan," he cleared his throat once more, edging closer to the bed, "We took a small blood sample from her and did a quick Ultrasound test."

I nodded, urging for him to continue, "and?"

"Mr. Horan, I'm so-"

Lezile's voice cut past his, "we lost the baby, Niall."

The silence after her words cut through me like a thousand knives. My eyes slowly met up with the Doctor's, who only nodded in agreement with what Lezile had told me. The heavy feeling settled around my eyes as I took in a desperate, shaky breath, making myself calm down. I couldn't break down in front of her. She was carrying our baby, and to have a connection like that just be _broken_, I could only imagine it was killing her.

"I don't understand though. How did this happen?" I croaked before clearing my throat.

The Doctor sighed, "Any number of reasons; Drinking, dietary habits, st-"

"Dietary habits? She's been eating healthy! She hadn't had a single drink of anything alcoholic, so I don't understand!"

"It could have been something else. Stress is usually a big factor. Often, certain stressful moments have a big impact on the body and it just... happens. There's nothing we could have done, sometimes there's no control."

My mouth was parted as I took in all of the information. I look back to Lezile, he eyes were staring down at her stomach, her hand lying limp in my own. She stayed quiet throughout everything.

"Thank you, Doctor," I mumbled, pushing Lezile's hair away from her face, behind her ear.

Soon, there was a click as the door closed, leaving us alone. I leaned up from my seat to sit on the edge of the bed. I ran my hands over her hair gently before I leaned in and kissed her forehead, leaving my lips there as I spoke.

"I'm so sorry, baby."

Nothing. She remained frozen as I attempted to comfort her.

"I love you so much, we'll get through this."

I kissed her cheek before pulling her face up by her chin, making her eyes meet mine, "What do you need? What do you want, love?"

She swallowed hard before she spoke, "I'm tired."

I nodded and kissed her forehead one more time before standing up and helping her slowly maneuver herself out of the bed. I opened the door and ushered her out, my arms never leaving from her small body. I checked out with the Doctor before gently guiding Lezile out of the Emergency room, and into the main foyer, where Louis was sat with his legs nervously tapping together. He noticed us and stood up, his eyes shining with hope, but once I shook my head, his expression stiffened as he looked at Lezile and her Zombie-esque appearance. Louis walked over to us as I reached into my pocket for my keys.

"I'm going to get the car," I mumbled as Lou slipped his arms around her, pulling her against him.

I left the building, walking down to the parking lot. I weaved through cars before I finally reached ours. I stood behind it for a few seconds, letting everything sink in as I breathed the cool early morning air in. Suddenly, everything hit me hard; Lezile, Harry, the baby, _everything_. I clenched my fist, and before thinking, I slammed it against the boot of the car, my knuckles burning from the hard contact.

A string of curses left my mouth as I shook out my knuckles, clenching and unclenching my fingers. They were already becoming swollen, a purple bruise already spread across two knuckles. I got into the car and started it up before pulling out of the space and up to the front door, where Louis stood with Lezile by his side.

The car ride was quiet as I drove us back to my house. Louis kept glancing at me, or rather my swollen knuckles. He often turned around to look at Lezile in the back seat, but she only stared out of the window. Her silence was worrying me. I would have thought that she would have said or done something; Cried, cursed, _anything_, but all I got was a numbing quiet atmosphere and distant gazes.

As I pulled up into our driveway, I saw that the living room lights were on. I sighed as I parked and Louis and I got out. Once I shut my door, I noticed that Lezile hadn't moved at all. I opened her door slowly before reaching over and unbuckling her seatbelt.

"Come on, baby," I whispered against her hair as I kissed the top of her head. She slipped from the seat, and I closed the door as I began guiding her towards the house. Louis stepped inside first, the chatter from the living room dying down completely. Lezile and I walked in afterwards, my arm wrapped around her as the others closed the door behind us.

I glanced over at Liam and Zayn, who were looking back at me. I shook my head a couple of times and shrugged, which was all I had to do to get the message across. Zayn looked down at his feet awkwardly, but Liam held his head in his hands, turning away from us completely before sitting back down on the couch. Mum and Dad were up. I was thankful that Jon wasn't down here. He didn't need to know about this. Dad was holding onto Mum, as she looked like she was about to burst into tears at Lezile's appearance; she wasn't meeting anyone's gaze.

"Lezile? Honey?" My Mum was taking timid steps toward her, unsure of how to approach her.

Lezile stepped out of my grip as she grimly began to walk towards the stairs.

"She's tired, Mum," I told her, keeping my eyes on her as she walked up the stairs.

Mum nodded, "I um-The boys told me about your bed, so I stripped your sheets," she took a rough breath, "I re-made it for you both."

My lip twitched as I felt the re-occurring pressure build against my eyes. I wrapped my arms around her.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," she cooed, running her hands up and down my back, trying to soothe me. Unfortunately, it didn't work.

"Thanks," I mumbled, breaking free from her hold. I gave a weak smile to everyone before I went into the kitchen to grab an ice pack for my hand. The cold stung against my knuckles as I left the kitchen and began walking up the stairs. I didn't dare look back to see everyone's gaze on me. As my feet reached the top step, my eyes rose to the shadow in front of me. I looked up fully to see Lezile's small frame in the middle of _her_ bedroom door, facing me. My throat became dry as I took in her frail posture, one of her arms limply hanging by her side. Her body shifted before her hand grabbed the door handle.

"Lezile," I spoke, my voice was more of a plead. A plead for her not to close the door on me.

Her eyes met mine for a brief second before she tilted her head and continued closing the door. All too quickly, she was out of my sight. I took a steady breath before retreating back to my own room and closing the door behind myself. The smell of fresh sheets lingered in the air as I took a deep breath, the constricting tightness in my chest almost suffocating.

I didn't bother changing my clothes. Instead, I laid myself on my bed, listening to the silence. I wanted to rewind. Back to a few hours ago when my Family wasn't broken, when I was able to hold Lezile in my arms and she would happily cuddle closer to me. I wanted the past hours to roll back and relive themselves on a different route; one where I still had my Girlfriend, and my child.

I curled my legs against my chest, clasping my hands together, imagining one of them as Lezile's. I wanted us to help each other get through this, but with the hard walls separating us into our un-matching emotions, we were left to comfort ourselves. I began choking on my own breath as the relentless tightening in my head became over-powering, and warm tears began rolling down from my eyes and down the bridge of my nose. I wrapped my arms around myself, shivering from a non-existent cold wind that had brushed over me.

With no warm body to comfort me, that's how I fell asleep.

***One Week Later* Still Niall's POV***

The boys and I had several meetings with our music team and Simon in the past week. Despite everyone's state, we'd even recorded quite a few songs for the record. Simon wanted it pushed as quickly as we could get it done, with at the rate we were going, would be done within another week.

Lezile had held herself hostage in her room for a week now. Each second that passed by without hearing a sound from upstairs added another stab into my already poached heart. Against my better judgement, I had looked up common emotional symptoms that may occur after a miscarriage. What I had read was disheartening. Some women bounced back fine, others had a few days of disconnect from their usual daily lives, like Lezile. Some women had even slipped into a depression, with some cases ending in a suicide. I routinely leaned against her door, and once I'd heard her moving around, I could breathe easier for at least a half an hour before my usual panic would settle itself back in.

She'd hardly eaten much, as Mum had said. She'd been the only one that Lezile wanted to go up and see her. My heart nearly shattered when Mum had told me that she didn't want to see me, or anyone else for that matter. I tried desperately to accept and respect her wish, but when she avoided us all like that, it became harder to stay away.

The lads had been by a few times, all except for Harry, and they all routinely apologized the moment they stepped inside the house. It's a shame that this was now the standard greeting for us all. The boys had each had their own attempt to get Lezile to come out of her room, or for her to at least speak to one of them. I remember the looks on all their faces as they came back down the stairs, defeated. Louis' was the most heart-wrenching out of all of them. He'd come back down with tears on the verge of falling. I remember him wiping at his eyes as he picked up his bag and practically ran out of our house. I had run out after him, begging him not to take it personally, but as I had watched him fumble with his keys and back out of the driveway, the tears on his cheeks hadn't gone un-noticed. I knew he was close to her, and to be shut out by someone you care so much about is heart-breaking.

Louis must have felt... Like me.

In the evening, I'd gone out for a walk to clear my head. The atmosphere of the once loving and inviting house had slowly faded into a museum of haunting silence. I swung the door open, kicking off my shoes and my jacket as Mum stepped out from the kitchen and into the foyer upon hearing me come home.

"Hi," I croaked, trying to make my voice sound stronger than it was. I flicked my head in the direction of the stairs, "has she...?"

Mum only shook her head before stepping over to me, "Honey, I know you've heard this a thousand times this past week, but I'm _so_ sorry. This can't be easy. I hate seeing you in pain."

I shrugged, "I'm good, Mum, really."

She ignored my words and pulled me into a hug, "on the outside you are, but all I have to do is look in your eyes and know that you're not alright."

I bit my lip as I struggled to break free from her hug. I'd been strong all week in front of everyone. I was the man; I wasn't supposed to cry over anything, especially this.

"Mum," I whimpered, trying to pry her hands off of my back. She only held her grip tighter as she took one of her hands and pushed on my neck, trying to keep me to her.

"Shhh, baby," she cooed softly, but I heard the crack in her voice as she spoke.

I struggled for a few more seconds before I finally collapsed in her arms, my weight becoming too heavy on my legs as I sank to the floor, Mum holding me as I went. Her fingers ran through my hair as one hand ran up and down my back. I held her around her waist, my face buried against her shoulder, my tears falling quickly. The air around me became constricting as I gasped for breath between each teary sob.

"Shhh, love. It's okay," she cried along with me.

"Oh my God," I choked out, the heavy lump in my throat causing me to cough out my words.

"I know," she whispered, resting her head against my own as she continued rocking me back and forth.

"I can't help her," I cried, my grip hardening around her, "she won't let me help her, oh God."

My crying became rougher as my breaths became harder to regain control of.

"Honey, you have to calm down, please," she begged.

"She doesn't want to see me, Mum! I love her so much and she won't let me take care of her! What if this is the end of us," I whined, "oh God, oh my God, I can't handle this!"

I sniffled, a constricted sound emanating from my blocked nostrils.

"She loves you, Niall, she's not going anywhere. I promise everything will be alright."

I sniffled once again, wiping away the dried tears away from my face. I stayed in my Mum's embrace for a little while longer before my body felt entirely drained of all its energy. Mum let me head upstairs. I paused at Lezile's door for a moment until I heard her let out what sounded like a groan. I left to my own room, closing the door behind myself.

***Lezile's POV***

I heard Niall close his door. I let out a large breath that I'd been holding. I knew that he had been outside my door. Every time that he'd stood out there this week, I'd wanted him to come in and to leave me alone all at the same time. I hadn't formed a single coherent thought this week, other than thinking about losing the baby.

I'd been so unfair to everyone this past week. I'd put this depressing cloud over the whole house, along with everyone in it. I've only spoken to Niall's Mum, despite everyone's pleas. I remember hearing the boys' attempts to get me to come out, but I hadn't listened. Louis' was the worst; his sturdy voice had quickly faded into desperate pleas as he struggled with the locked doorknob. I remember biting my lip to stop my own tears from falling as he quietly banged on the door, begging for me to speak to him. The sounds of his footsteps running down the stairs still ring in my ears.

I sat up in bed, the abrupt familiar tune coming to my ears. It was coming from Niall's room. I groggily got out of bed before silently walking over to my door, my hand on the knob. An abundance of pro's and con's made their way through my mind as I stood there, but in the end, there was only one Pro that outweighed all of the con's; Niall.

I carefully opened the door and stuck my head out into the hallway. Upon seeing that no one was out here, I tip-toed down the hall to Niall's room, the sounds getting louder as I came to a halt in front of his door. My heart was pounding furiously against my chest as a nauseous feeling made its way into my stomach. I worried that Niall didn't want to see me after I'd treated him so horribly this past week. I decided to take the risk and see how he'd react, because at the moment, all I wanted was to see him.

I slowly turned the knob before pushing the door open the tiniest bit. Niall's voice rang throughout the room clearly as I pushed the door open the rest of the way. I nervously stood in Niall's doorway before closing the door behind me.

I swallowed the hard lump in my throat as the strumming of the guitar ceased and his voice died off. His eyes were opened a little wider than usual as he stared back at me. He was sitting in his sofa chair in the corner of his room, his desk lamp the only light in the room. I sniffled back the oncoming tears as he looked away from me for a brief moment as he set his guitar down on the floor. He turned his hands palm up towards me, silently ushering me over. I bit my lip and dragged my body over to him, immediately sitting on his lap, my body twisting as I wrapped my arms around him. He breathed out a huge sigh as his arms snaked around my waist and he buried his face into my shoulder. I squeezed my eyes shut as I breathed in shaky breaths against his skin, the familiarity of his embrace feeling somewhat foreign to me.

After minutes of us just holding one another, he pulled back and looked into my eyes. I shook my head a couple of times before shrugging, my eyes never leaving his. I saw him gulp as his eyes flickered down to my stomach. One of his hands left my back and he placed it gently over the sweatshirt above my stomach.

He took a deep breath before he parted his lips and began quietly singing, "you can lie with me, with your tiny feet, when you're half asleep I'll leave you be,"

His lips quivered as he quietly sang between us, his eyes focused on where his hand was. I saw the tears beginning to brim on the edge of his eyes.

"...For a couple weeks, so I could keep you safe," he mumbled, biting down on his bottom lip.

I placed my hand over Niall's as my other wiped away the fallen tear from his cheek. He took a shaky breath as he shifted on the seat, adjusting me so that I was sat off to his side as his arms came around me, hooking in front of me. I intertwined my fingers over his as he rested his chin on my shoulder, his head leaning against mine.

"You were just a small bump unborn, for four months then torn from life_...,_" I closed my eyes as his gentle voice resounded in my ear, "maybe you were needed up there, _but we're still unaware as why_."

Silence filled the room as Niall finished singing. Despite the tragedy of the lyrics, they comforted me. In his own way, Niall showed me that he'd been just as upset as me.

"I'm sorry," I weakly said, my own eyes filling with tears.

"It's not your fault, Sweetie," he whispered, his lips kissing my cheek lightly.

"It is, my stupid body couldn't just hang for a few mo-"

"Hey, hey," he interrupted, "I know we lost," he paused, "our child, but we didn't lose each other. I'm here for you and I'm not leaving. I'm not letting you leave me."

I internally smiled as his comfort, leaning my head back to rest closer to him. His arms held tighter pressure as he leaned his forehead against the side of my head.

"I love you, okay?"

I ran my fingers delicately over his own as his words were whispered next to me. I nearly choked on my own words as they left my lips, "I love you so much, Niall."

I turned my head to face him, his lips planting a couple kisses against my forehead.

"Everything's going to be alright," he assured.

In my head, a giant sigh made its way through my whole body. Niall had promised me this before; I was just hoping that this time, he'd be right.

**Hello! Holy shit, right? An update that didn't take longer than a month. I immediately began writing this after I posted the last Chapter. If you guys don't like it, then I apologize. If you want, I could end it here, or I could continue with what I've got planned for it. This wasn't meant to be the ending, but if you want, it can be. It's up to you guys! Review and let me know! If you review that you want it to be over, please don't be rude about it.**

**And thanks to the very sweet people who posted reviews on the last Chapter, I was nervous when I got the emails, but once I read them, I smiled at what you'd written. You're such wonderful people! Thanks for making me smile when I was feeling down :)**


	37. Last First Kiss

My knuckles rapped against the hard door, my stomach twisting with heavy nerves. I heard footsteps behind the door as I shifted on my own feet uncomfortably. With my final intake of air, the door swung open, revealing a very confused looking Jay.

"Lezile? Sweetie, what are you doing here?"

"Hi, Mrs. Tomlinson, I just wanted to know if Louis was home. I need to speak to him."

Her gaze softened quickly as a small smile spread across her features. She opened the door and stepped aside to let me in. I stepped inside the familiar house and removed my shoes. Jay was looking at me with worry in her eyes, making my nerves heighten.

"He's upstairs in his room, you can go on up," she smiled.

I nodded my head in understanding and began climbing the steps; each time my foot coming into contact with the hardwood it sent a light stab to my heart. If Louis was still upset with me about shutting myself off from his last week, I don't know how I'd be able to make it up to him. I sighed. I should have just let him in. I shouldn't have treated him so coldly.

I stopped in front of his bedroom door. I knocked twice before slowly opening up the door, my eyes adjusting to the darkened state of his room. The blinds were shut and all the lights were off. Despite it being daylight outside, no one would ever know that if they were to step in here. Louis was on his bed, lying on his side, faced away from me.

"Mum, I said I'm tired," he spoke agitatedly.

I closed the door behind me and he groaned before sitting up.

"Jesus, Mum, go aw-"

He became quiet once he saw me. I took in his features. His hair was slightly disheveled and his eyes looked drained. If I was the reason that he looked like this, then guilt hit me like a ton of bricks.

"Sorry," I whispered, "Jay didn't tell me you were sleeping."

"It's alright," he replied, eyes boring into my own.

"I, um, just wanted to apologize to you. You know, for shutting you out last week. It was a bitch move."

Louis smirked, "yeah, it kind of was."

He slid to the edge of his bed, swinging his legs over so that they were planted on the ground, "will you sit?"

I nodded and hesitantly walked to the bed, taking a seat next to him. Neither of us spoke for what felt like minutes. The silence filled his dark room, creating an awkward atmosphere that was choking me with each passing moment.

"How are you feeling?"

I rubbed my hands over my face, "emptier, if that makes any sense. I'd gotten kind of used to the idea that Niall and I were going to be parents. When the Doctor told me that I'd lost it, I was just cut off. I couldn't think or I didn't want to, I'm not sure. I was pissed off."

Louis' hand nervously began rubbing my back as I continued, "When he was spouting off all of the reasons that I could have lost the baby to Niall, I became so mad that in my head, I blamed Harry for it."

Lou's hand stopped moving as his head snapped towards me, "Harry? What did he do? He didn't even know?"

"He did know, Lou. He must've seen the gifts at the party. When Niall left me alone in the kitchen, Harry came in. I don't know if he was drunk, but he was drinking. We had a small argument, and he touched my stomach."

Louis flinched but I continued, "He didn't grab me or anything, he just put his hand on my stomach and said that the baby had killed any happiness he had left."

Louis was silent next to me as he took in all that I'd just said. I wasn't trying to make him hate Harry, I just had to talk about it with someone because if Niall knew about it, he'd go off the deep end and go after Harry.

"I don't understand though?"

"The Doctor told us that anything could've caused me to have a miscarriage, especially stressful situations. I don't know, maybe I'm grabbing at straws but after the incident with Harry, it was all that I thought about until I went to bed, and when I woke up," I paused and took a breath, "the baby was gone."

I felt Louis stiffen beside me, his eyes staring off in front of him. What I wouldn't give to be able to know what he was thinking about. His body posture definitely wasn't relaxed and his eyes looked dark.

"Louis?" I wrapped my fingers around his wrist, trying to bring him back to reality. He shook his head a couple of times before connecting his eyes with mine.

"Sorry, I went away for a second."

"It's alright."

I bit my lip before leaning my head against Louis' shoulder, nervously letting my fingers travel from his wrist to his hand. I hoped he wouldn't turn me away. I missed him too much. To my surprise, his hand immediately grabbed mine, entwining our fingers. I felt him let out a breath he was holding.

"Are we okay, Lou? I don't want you to hate me for the way I acted."

He nuzzled his head against mine, "I could never hate you, babe."

"Good," I smiled.

"Things are going to get pretty crazy, you know that?"

"What do you mean?" I asked timidly. There's not much more crazy that I can, nor anyone else, can handle.

"The album's finished, love," Louis cooed, "We've got interviews all this week and performances. Next thing you know, we've got to head out on tour."

I nodded silently. I'd completely forgotten about that. I wasn't sure of how to face all of the boys going off on a tour; all the screaming girls, the crazy paparazzi, and rumours that will be sparked about them.

"I don't want things to change, though," I mumbled.

I felt Louis' lips against my temple, feeling them move against my skin, "They'll be for the better, I promise. Nothing will go wrong."

I bit my tongue to avoid chastising him about making promises that he doesn't know he can keep. Instead, I muttered that I believed him, willing to sacrifice my anxiety and trust him, and hopefully his words will stay true.

***Three Months Later***

One Direction shot to instant fame with their album Up All Night. The boys have been touring for nearly three months now, and everywhere they went was utter chaos. Girls were constantly bombarding the tour bus, screaming, crying, and begging for autographs and pictures to which the boys always happily obliged to do if they had time. Niall had insisted that I'd be brought along with them on tour, and hesitantly Simon and their Management team agreed.

The boys were back to being their old selves. All the drama that had happened months before with Harry had seemed to vanish. It was rocky at first for all of us to forgive one another for everything that had happened, but once it was all out in the open, it was just like it was back at school.

The boys' tour was now into the American leg, which was now in New York. The traffic here was insane; taxi cabs and the locals raced through the downtown streets recklessly, nearly hitting pedestrians head on. Thank God that the tour bus driver knew how to drive all over, as he moved through the mounts of traffic with ease.

The boys were chatting excitedly with one another as they looked out at the streets of New York. Zayn was grabbing onto Liam as he pointed to the Empire State Building, Niall was fogging up the window glass as he hungrily stared at all the food joints, Harry was smiling at Louis, whose eyes were lit up in awe at everything surrounding him.

I was nervous about tonight's show. In fact, I'd been worried about every single one of the boys' shows since nearly two weeks ago. Threats had been made to the boys at CD signings and meet and greets and an online post was made, directly threatening Louis. I'd told all of the boys, and even Simon about it, but they all told me to relax and that there was enough security to protect everyone; that didn't help my anxiety.

Dangerously, we made it to the hotel, and awaiting all of us were the hundreds of screaming girls outside of it. Security left the bus first as they made a barricade to keep the girls out. I was chewing on one of my fingernails when I felt a familiar hand slide into my free hand. I turned my head to see Niall smiling at me. I returned a weak one and grabbed my bag before following behind him out of the bus. They stopped for a few moments to take pictures and autographs before we were all being ushered inside the building.

After checking in, we were taken to the boys' hotel rooms, which were always classy and much more expensive than anything we'd be able to afford if they weren't famous. There were only a few hours until their concert at the Radio City Music Hall, and so we only had an hour to relax before being back on the bus and on the way to the venue. I sat down in the living room as the boys separated to their rooms to drop of their stuff. I pulled out my laptop and immediately went to a page that I'd bookmarked weeks ago. It wasn't something that I'd shown Niall or any of the other boys. I didn't need them to worry like I was. It was a threat page that anti-fans had come up with. Some were simple threats; like throwing baseballs at one of the boys if they saw them, but one that I'd come across not to long had struck a seemingly deep chord in me. This girl was supposedly a fan, who had a _deep_ admiration for Louis. Specifically, she never said what she was going to do, she just said she was plotting something 'big.'

After making sure that there were no recent updates from her, I closed my laptop and followed the boys out of the hotel and back onto the bus. The drive was fairly quick to the venue and the line to get inside was already lined up around the block. Once we were inside, the boys were sent to hair and to get changed into their first outfit. As I waited in the lounge room, my nerves were getting the best of me. My palms began to sweat and my heart was racing. Nearly a half an hour later, Louis came bouncing into the room, looking absolutely handsome. He was wearing his usual red pants and striped shirt, with his hair set perfectly in its feathered fringe.

He smiled at me before seeing my unsettled face. He crouched down in front of me and rubbed my knees.

"What's wrong?"

I shrugged, "I'm nervous for you guys."

He sighed, rubbing one of his hands over his face before setting it back on my knee.

"Love, I've told you a thousand times that nothing is going to happen to us. We've got so much security, there's no way anyone could get in to hurt us."

"Lou, you haven't seen-"

"That threat website that you spend _way_ too much time on?"

I could feel my face paling. He looked at me with sympathy. He continued, "I used your laptop a few times, and yeah, I know you've been watching what those people have been saying. So, just to put your mind at ease, I told Paul and he's made sure to double on security for tonight, okay? I don't want you to worry."

"Louis, the threat was about you, though! And I just-"

"Need to let me handle this. I'll be okay. You won't be though if you keep worrying."

I let out a huge sigh as Louis looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Please? We're on in like 10 minutes and I'd rather not have to worry about if you're going to go into cardiac arrest from stressing out."

I huffed a frustrated sigh, "Fine, whatever."

He smiled wide before leaning up and pecking my cheek. I let him grab a hold of my hands and lift me from the couch, pulling me into his chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly, as if it would be the last time I'd ever see him again. It was a bad habit that I got into ever since I stumbled onto that website. I hugged the living hell out of all of them until they all eventually complained about air constriction, but never Louis. No, Louis would always hug me back with just as much effort.

I placed a chaste kiss against his cheek before whispering a barely audible 'I love you.'

He returned the gesture just as the rest of the boys piled into the room.

"Showtime, Lou!" Harry shouted, clapping Louis on the back, which forced him to let go of me. I gave each of the boys hugs before they all left, leaving Niall and I to ourselves.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his forehead against mine. I placed my arms around his neck, keeping him close to me. He rocked us both back and forth gently, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Be safe," I mumbled against his lips.

"Always am," he whispered back.

Our lips met in a gentle kiss, one of him trying to reassure me that he would be okay. I was becoming antsier with every passing day that something was going to happen to them, despite all of my warnings. I pulled away from him, and quickly pecked a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"Niall?"

Both of our heads turned to see Liam with a nervous smile on his face, "We gotta go, mate."

Niall nodded as Liam left us alone. He smiled at me one more time before giving me a quick kiss and grabbed a hold of my hand. We walked down to the stage to hear the familiar opening video beginning to play. I stopped at the edge of the stage, in perfect view of all of the fans and where the boys would be singing. All of them were lined up behind each other as Niall let go of my hand and stood behind Liam in line. I gave them all smiles and they returned them. As Harry took off running, Louis rubbed my shoulder quickly before following after him, and then Liam, and Niall who shot an air kiss in my direction, and finally Zayn. The screams erupted throughout the building as the boys began singing Na Na Na.

After more songs and Twitter questions, all of the boys had formed a line in the middle of the stage as the band began playing Moments. My hands shook nervously as I scanned the crowd. I wasn't sure about what I was hoping to see; or if I wanted to be able to see anything.

Liam's voice rang throughout, him naturally perfecting his solo like always. Harry stepped forward, gently singing his hook before all of them harmonized the chorus together beautifully. My eyes scanned the crowd again as I softly sang to the song.

It wasn't until my eyes landed on a shaky young girl in the third row that my heart nearly stopped. I followed her line of vision to see that it was precisely on Louis. I couldn't move. I watched as her hand was clutched to the inside of her bag. I turned my head to the stage at the sound of Louis' voice. He was clutching his stomach like he usually does when he sings. As if nearly frozen, I turned my head to see the girl drop her bag, a long black object in her hand.

_Don't do this_.

Her hand began to rise as Louis nearly finished his solo. I shouted his name, but my voice was silenced by the sound of gun shots. My eyes widened, my breath caught, my heart _stopped_. The screams of thousands of girls echoed through the stadium as they all rushed around, some trying to get out of the building, others trying to see what had happened on stage, and others trying to grab the girl who had fired the shots.

Instinctively, my feet carried me onto the stage towards the scene. Niall looked back at me, his eyes wide and panicked as he shouted at me to stay back. I was now on the stage as security guards ran past us and the band had dispersed. A few more gunshots blasted through the air and I tumbled to the ground underneath Niall's weight, his arms wrapped around me tightly.

"I told you to stay back!" Niall shouted at me nervously.

His words were a second thought to me as I clambered to my feet and shuffled through the mass of people to see a pool of blood trailing down the stage, and Louis unconscious. I dropped to my knees as I ripped off my sweater, pressing it against Louis' chest. Harry was shouting at everyone, telling them to call an ambulance, and they all scattered. Tears welled in my eyes as Harry was pleading with Louis to open his eyes. Blood was soaking through the once cream-coloured sweater, the colour dying my skin.

The sounds around me drowned out as I continued adding pressure to Louis' wound. Moving lips only spoke silence; the only thing audible to me was my ragged breathing. I was hoisted away from his body by arms gripping my waist. I flailed as I gripped the stained sweater in my hand. Paramedics rushed in beside me as they hooked Louis up to an oxygen tank and lifted him up onto a gurney. The air was thick with tension as they raced off with Louis' body, the paramedics speaking hurriedly into the CB's on their shoulder.

"We have to get you all out of here," Paul spoke urgently, pushing us all away from the stage.

"Take us to the hospital," Harry demanded to Paul, who only shook his head.

"We can't right now. They'll take care of him, we'll go to-"

Paul was cut off by Harry grabbing two fistfuls of his shirt and shoving him against the wall. Liam began to step in, but Zayn stopped him. Paul was easily two times bigger than Harry, but he didn't try and push him away. Harry stared darkly in Paul's eyes as he told him that he was taking us all to see Louis. I gripped onto Niall's arm as his other hand held me close to him. Paul finally gave in and nodded before rushing us all to the van at the back of the building.

The ride to the hospital seemed to take an eternity. The car was filled with deafening silence. Harry sniffled a few times and routinely wiped his eyes against his sleeve. As much as it was devastating and hard for us all to deal with, it was easy to see that it was affecting Harry the most.

Once Paul parked, Harry practically jumped out of the van and up into the automatic doors. We all followed him just as quickly. Once inside, we saw Harry talking heatedly with the secretary behind the partition. We had no choice but to watch as Harry ran his hands through his hair before finally walking back to us.

"He's in surgery right now; she said we just have to wait."

We all nodded and took our seats in the waiting room. My knee bounced nervously and Niall put a comforting hand on it, stopping me. His eyes were red and watering and yet he still tried to force a smile to comfort me. Unfortunately, the only thing that would comfort me would be if Louis were to magically walk out of this hospital completely fine.

Hours later, it was reaching midnight and all of us had grown exhausted from the mayhem that had ensued. Zayn was sleeping against Liam, who had his arm wrapped around the black haired boy. Harry was staring at the Emergency room doors, his legs nervously shaking. Niall was staring at the wall, his arm wrapped around my shoulders as I held onto his other hand. I didn't know where to look. Everything was so bleak and bland that it only caused more pain if looked at long enough. The sound of the gunshots still rang in my ear.

Suddenly, the Emerge doors opened. A tall woman with dark curly hair tied up came out, her eyes on the clipboard in her hands.

"Tomlinson?" She questioned.

Harry shot up first, walking over to her. Liam nudged Zayn awake gently before guiding him to stand up. I gripped Niall's hand roughly in mine, though he didn't care, he only squeezed back just as hard.

The woman smiled gently, "I'm Dr. Taraboulsi, are you all here for Louis?"

"How is he?" Harry asked, his eyes wide and nervous.

"He's just waking up now from the surgery. We did all that we could considering."

"Considering?" Liam piped in.

The Doctor looked down at the sheets in her hand, all of our eyes following her motions, "Louis was shot in the chest and the bullet skimmed his lung and we had to rush him into surgery. We had to place a small balloon into his lung to prevent water from filling up."

"Is he going to be okay?"

Her eyes looked up and met all of ours. There was gentleness to them, but there was also the rough cut they had to have, "we're still running tests to see if the balloon in his lung will hold up."

"And if it doesn't?" Harry pressed.

The Doctor only smiled nervously at us, "you can go in and see him if you wish."

We followed her down the hall, the squeaking of our shoes being the only thing to hear in the building. She took us into a separate wing of the hospital, though it was just as bland and dreary as the rest were. She stopped and gestured to a small room off to the right of us before disappearing behind two large doors across the hall.

We all agreed to visit him separately as to not overwhelm him. Harry went in first, of course. Ten minutes later he came out practically in a fit of tears. He sat down next to me as Zayn went in, then Liam. Once they both came out and Niall went in, I grabbed Harry's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"How was he?" I asked.

He sniffled once more, "He went into a coughing fit. I-I didn't know what to do. The nurse had to come in and give him a pump of something."

I nodded before stroking his hand once again, "He'll be okay."

"How do you know?"

My eyes left him as I thought about it. How would I know that Louis would be okay? I prayed that he would. I don't know what would happen if he did... Die. I wasn't a Doctor, but the balloon in his lung didn't sound too strong and stabilizing, but I hoped that it would be enough.

I met Harry's eyes once again, "He'll be okay because he _has_ to be okay."

Another moment of silence passed between us.

"I gave him my St. Christopher's necklace when I went in there," he said quietly. If I hadn't been straining to hear, I might not have heard him.

"Why?"

He shrugged, "To keep him safe."

He sighed sadly before placing his other hand on top of both of ours. We all sat in silence until Niall came out, who looked pale. There was no emotion on his face. His eyes stayed glued to the floor until he retook his seat next to me.

"He wants to see you now," he whispered.

I nodded before letting go of Harry's hand and walking over towards the door. I took in a brave breath before walking inside and closing the door behind me. The sight I saw took my breath away.

Louis was hooked up to a blood bag and an IV of a clear liquid that I could only guess was a painkiller. His hair was disheveled but he still looked perfect, despite the rough pale colour of his skin. He had bandages wrapped all the way around his chest, encircling around his back. There was a clasp on his index finger to monitor his heartbeat. Harry's necklace was around his neck.

I took a seat on the corner of his bed as I ran my fingers on his arm. I wanted to burst into tears at the mere sight of him.

"You could at least smile," he croaked.

My eyes met his and he flashed a weak, teasing smile. I smiled back.

"Go on, then, "He winced, "Say 'I told you so.'"

I huffed a sarcastic chuckle, "That is so not funny."

"I should've listened to you."

I nodded weakly, "Yeah, but I'm glad you're okay."

"Sure as shit don't feel like it," he coughed.

I shook my head and ran my fingers through his fringe, moving it out of his eyes. His eyes even lost the sparkle that they always had. Now, they looked lifeless and dull.

"Fuck, Louis, I was so scared when I heard those shots go off," I admitted, my hand falling onto his shoulder, "I tried shouting to you but you didn't hear me and when everyone was screaming, I knew something was wrong. Niall kept telling me to stay back but I just had to see if you were okay."

Louis coughed violently a few times before resting back on the bed again. I moved my hand to rest over the heart, feeling the weak beat.

"I wasn't even thinking about myself when I ran out there. Niall saved me when other shots went off. I just couldn't stand to think that I stayed back when I could've done something. I don't know what I would've done if you would have... If you..."

I trailed off, my voice becoming weak as my eyes filled with water. Louis sputtered out a gentle 'shhh' before pulling me down to his face, my forehead resting his own.

"I wouldn't leave you without saying good-bye," he whispered.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

He grinned and kissed my nose, "you guys should head out; get some sleep. I'll be _fine_."

I nodded slowly before standing from the bed. Just before I reached the door, I stopped.

"Louis?"

I turned to see him holding onto his chest, his lip being bit between his teeth, "yeah?"

I walked over to him and leaned down, giving him a quick peck against his chapped lips.

"Stay safe," I mumbled.

He smiled and nodded. I returned the gesture and turned to leave the room. The boys all stood up as I closed the door behind me.

"He says he's fine and that we should go."

They all nodded as Niall took my hand and gave me a smile. Nearly twenty minutes later the Doctor came out and we gave her our numbers for when anything develops with Louis.

We began following her out when an announcement came over the PA system in the building.

"_Doctor Taraboulsi back to West Wing, Room 23D, Patient Emergency."_

We all looked back as Nurses rushed into the designated room.

_Louis' room_.

The Doctor sped past us, racing back down the hall until she disappeared in where the other nurses had gone. Harry nearly collapsed in Liam's arms as Zayn stared down the hallway. I began tugging on Niall's hand as I began to walk forward, but he only held me back. I shrugged him off and jogged down the hall, the commotion of machines beeping and the Doctor and Nurses quick conversation intensifying.

"Lezile, stop!" Niall called, but I only continued.

Time seemed to stop as I came to a stop outside of Louis' room. The Doctor was pressing hard against his chest in rhythm as nurses were checking numbers on the machines. The heart monitor was slowing down. Louis' body vibrated weakly with push the Doctor made against his chest. His head was to the side, his eyes closed, his hands unmoving. I began to walk in when Niall's arms came around my waist, pulling me away from the door.

"Baby, stop! Don't look," He pleaded.

I only cried and continued struggling against him. The Doctor's head shot up and her gaze met mine, the gentle tone her eyes once held now gone and replaced by hardened concentration.

"Get her out of here!" She shouted at the nurse, who came to close the door.

"No! NO! Louis!" I shouted.

Niall whispered soothing words in my ear, but they only intensified my tears as I heard the constant break in his voice. I finally gave up my struggle and collapsed against him as we sunk to the floor. He held me tight from behind, his own tears soaking into the material of my T-shirt.

**For the love of God, please ****don't hate**** me! I can pretty much bet that none of you were prepared for what just happened, but I'm sorry, it had to happen. If you're going to leave a review saying that you hate the story now, I'm going to ask you not to. It's my story, I went with what I felt needed to happen, and I'm sorry if you're all mad at me for that :l **

**On a lighter note, I've put this story on Wattpad, so IF you would like, go over and give it some reads? Maybe some votes? *wink wink* I've also put up a new story on Wattpad called **_**Eighth Wonder**_**, it's a (Punk Harry) one, so go check out if you'd like!**

**There will be ONE MORE CHAPTER to this story then it will be done **** Sad, I know.**

**I know it's a Niall story and this was basically a Louis chapter, but it's serving a point.**

**Again, no hate please 3**


	38. Rewind

**Two and a half years later.**

Life is about moments. These moments define us. They shape us into new people who we may have never even dreamed of being. Sometimes a life altering experience changes everything we once knew. Light is now dark, happiness is now despairing, and love turns to hatred. Everything before this moment is now the past and as every second ticks by, we are either further away or closer to the monumental moment that will have changed everything we once knew.

Years ago, if someone were to have told me that my life would turn out the way it has, I would have laughed in their misguided face. I was nobody; and people like that certainly don't live a life that I have. I took a chance; to escape a daily routine of spine-numbing normality, and so I did, in exchange for a whirlwind romance, a luminous best friend, and a home for a Family that I wouldn't give up for all the money in the world. Ireland was home for me.

Niall had brought me out of my shell and into life. He'd brought me laughter and happiness, four insane best friends, and of course love. Relationships were once a laughable idea to me. Spending all your time and energy on one person? The idea just seemed silly. I hadn't known that Niall was what I needed until I had him. Despite the early rocky roads that we once had to drive down, my future with Niall was as bright as the sun that cast over our house in the delicate morning hours.

Just on the outskirt of Mullingar was where we lived and loved. The dark wooden house was guarded by our traditional panelled fence. Niall had tried countless times to convince me of the idea to get a dog, mainly out of jealousy of Zayn. He was the proud owner of a beautiful all white Husky, that Niall had easily fallen in love with on first sight. He wanted a full house, but a house full of dogs and other four legged creatures was not my cup of tea.

Zayn still lived in Mullingar, claiming that he loved the small town too much to be able to part with it. He lived alone in a one-bedroom apartment with his dog, and he often came over to our house for dinner and would spend the night when he was feeling alone. Zayn's hair had fallen out of the usual quiff that he'd once sported and now rested messily atop his head. With his five o'clock shadow stretched along his jaw line, it was a look that complimented him almost perfectly. Zayn was still quiet and reserved, barely uttering two words about how he felt. Little over one year ago on a rather thunderous and wet night, Zayn had come around to ours. At two in the morning he had banged mercilessly on the front door until Niall and I had staggered down the dimly lit staircase, only to find him drenched and weeping on our porch. I can still remember the way Zayn had collapsed into Niall's arms as soon as the door opened, and the way Niall held him. I stood off to the side as I took in for the second time, the sight of the hard-shelled boy crying. Niall never said a word; never uttered comforting reassurances to Zayn. He only held his soaked body to his own as he rocked Zayn back and forth. We never bring up that night for fear of setting off Zayn once more. He, like the rest of us, is reserved when it comes to certain things and sometimes we have to deal with things on our own.

Liam was different than the rest of us. He had moved to London and was living with his girlfriend of almost two years. Liam was always smiling and happy. He routinely tweeted pictures of him doing day-to-day things and would always have a joyous tone to his voice whenever we all spoke on the phone. I was happy for Liam, truly. He would tell me all about his days and how everything was going with his girlfriend, to which he could never stop talking about; not that I minded. It was nice hearing that he was so ecstatic about life. When he told me that he'd been planning on asking his girlfriend to marry him, I had screamed in excitement. Niall had thought there was someone breaking into the house and came running from the kitchen with a rolling pin in his hand. We had all met Liam's girlfriend on a couple occasions. She was a stunning girl; a beautiful personality and the looks to match. She was happy with life and never failed to put a smile on Liam's face. He had found the perfect girl. He hadn't decided on a date for the proposal, but when he told us, I could hear the unwavering excitement in his voice.

Harry was a completely different person. He hadn't changed for the better like Liam had nor did he stay the same as Zayn had. Harry had broken down. After we lost Louis, he'd barely uttered two words in months. For days he'd locked himself in his room and wouldn't speak to anyone. Harry had lost his best friend in the entire world, and no amount of screaming or prayers to God were going to bring him back; which is what had sent him over the edge. Niall and Zayn had attempted to drill into my mind that Harry 'just needed time,' but after four months of self-destructive behaviour, I knew that no amount of time was ever going to cure his broken heart. Harry's partying was broadcasted throughout every magazine in the UK. Despite how inebriated he was in every photo, I could see the emptiness in his eyes and despite his many efforts, all the alcohol in the world wasn't going to bring back the warmth that Louis had brought to his life.

On a damp night in March I had gone to check up on Harry at his flat, which wasn't all that far from Zayn's. To this day I don't remember what I was hoping to accomplish by going to visit him, but what I'd gotten a view of was permanently etched into my mind. I remember how hard I banged my knuckles against his door, begging for him to open it up to me. When I didn't get an answer and I reached for the door handle, I felt a wave of terror run through me when I found it was already opened. Harry had _never_ left his door unlocked. I can still smell the muskiness of his apartment due to the lack of cleaning and the sight of his clothes flung across his floor. I remember how his name flowed from my lips in urgent whispers. The scurrying sound of feet still rang through my ears. My throat still constricts tightly when I think about Harry's worn out body struggling in its own death grip as he hung in mid air. I remember my heart stopping as I struggled to cut through the one thing that stood in the way of Harry's life. Those moments are still fresh in my mind; the sound his body made when he hit the floor, the hoarse cough that emanated from his throat as he gasped for air, the way my hands shook as I held his body close to mine, how I held his head against my chest, and the tears that welled in my eyes at the thought that if I'd showed up only one minute later...

That night, Harry cried harder than he ever had before. He let out ear piercing wails and not once did I tell him to quiet down. He clung to me like static and I held his shaking body close to mine. I feared what he would attempt once again if I let him go. I remember my frantic call to Niall once Harry had uttered the three words that I never expected to hear;

_**I saw Louis.**_

After Harry's attempt to escape himself, we called his Mother and let her know what had happened. She immediately came to our house where we were keeping a watchful, and worried, eye on Harry. The moment her eyes landed on her damaged Son, her arms pulled him to her and Harry barely acknowledged her holding him. He was too far gone to be saved by a simple hug from his Mother or any of us. Harry's flat had been sold not long after and was sent to the Emotional Rehabilitation Centre in London. His Mum had gone with him to lend a supportive hand. She frequently sent Niall and I updates on how Harry was doing. His progress was always minimal.

With his passing, Louis left a hole in every single one of our hearts; our sweet, innocent, mischievous, beautiful Louis. Unbeknownst to himself, he had impacted everyone's lives around him. With those calming eyes and childish grin he was always able to put a smile on anyone's face. Staring clear into the rest of his life, his breath was stolen from him. What that thief had failed to realize was that along with his very last breath, they were also stealing most of our own as well. Louis cared more about others around him than he did about himself. Louis cared for his Family, his Friends, and his Fans. When the news about his death had been publicly released, _millions_ of fans worldwide came together to lend support to Louis' Family. All the fans had come together to lean on one another. Louis wasn't a stranger to them; he was a Friend. He was the silly friend of theirs that made a goofy face or shouted 'Superman!' at the top of his lungs just to see smiles slowly appear onto his mate's beautiful faces. Louis was the epitome of perfection.

Niall was never keen on bringing up Louis, even after we had all just lost him. His silence had worried me for days. On the day that he had finally let me in, he cried. He cried for everything that he'd never let out; all past aggression and mistakes, about Louis, about time and things that hadn't even happened yet. He told me that he realized how precious our time was together. That at any moment either of us could be taken away from the other, just like Louis was. For weeks I cradled Niall's head against my chest and kissed his forehead until he would fall asleep and I never let go. Niall and I had moved out of his parent's house not long after Louis left us all, and not long after we had moved out on our own, had Niall popped the inevitable question of would I marry him. After everything that we had been through, my answer didn't require any consideration and I of course, accepted. Our wedding was small, just all of the boys' families were there. It was on a quiet summer night and the evening was filled with laughter and stories of our happiest times together.

One Direction's music had soared to a new height; whether it was the boy's talent itself or whether Louis' death had brought a wave of hysteria over the fans, the boy's album, and _only_ album went triple platinum in a matter of days. With Niall's share, he bought us our quaint house and we began living our lives slowly, taking each day as it comes.

Today, the autumn air was crisp and calming. The wind whipped lightly, causing damaged and brittle leaves to fall from the trees. I hugged myself tighter in my coat as the cold bench underneath me froze me to my very spot.

"Are you going to go over?"

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply before replying, "In a minute, I will."

Opening my eyes, I turned my head to look at Niall, his hair being tousled by the light wind.

"Do you want me to leave you?" He asked politely. I gave him a small smile in return.

"Could you?"

He nodded once before returning his gaze to behind me, "I'll be over there. Watching over _him_," he smiled. I returned the gesture before turning my head back around to its original viewing position. The crunching of leaves behind me let me know that Niall respected my need for a moment of solitude.

Slowly, I stood from the cold stone bench, wrapping my fingers around the plastic wrapped gift that was set next to me. Careful of my step, I made my way across the hardening grass and gravel path until I was face to face with the last remains of a once living angel.

"Hey, Lou," I breathed. I sank down to my knees as I set the carefully wrapped bouquet of flowers against the headstone.

"I'm sorry I haven't visited you in awhile. I've been quite busy, you know."

I turned my head around and smiled lightly before returning my gaze to Louis' stone.

"You've probably seen that the boy over there can be quite a handful. He is amazing, Lou. I wish you were still here. There's so much you never got to do and sometimes I cry because you'll never get the chance. You're most likely looking down on me laughing right now at how silly I'm being; still fretting and crying over you after all this time. I just don't think that any amount of time is going to make this easier. Some days are really hard, but I'm sure you know that."

I sniffed back a sob as I traced Louis' imprinted name on the freezing headstone with my fingers.

"Zayn's doing a lot better than he was. He still comes 'round to ours a lot, mainly for the food because he still can't cook to save his life. Sometimes I fear he's going to starve. Liam is amazing as usual, still living in London with his girlfriend. He's yet to propose and we can all keep pressuring him to move his arse and do it," I laughed lightly.

"When Liam calls he says that he visits Harry a lot. He says he's still not doing so well. Sometimes he just stares at the wall, unmoving, not blinking. Liam worries that he's just going to one day give up and quit breathing. I hope he doesn't, Lou, I really do hope he stays strong. God, I think about when I found him hanging in his apartment all the time. I can still hear him crying and saying that he saw you when he nearly died. If he did, what were you trying to tell him? Did you tell him to join you? Or did you tell him that he was making a huge mistake?"

I wiped at my eyes as I thought back to Harry's hoarse cries, "What the _hell_ did you tell him? I'm so scared that I'm going to get a call telling me that Harry's gone. I've barely survived without you; I couldn't handle living without him too. There's only so much all of us can take. You covered all of it, Lou."

I took a large intake of fresh air, the cold temperature of it biting harshly at my throat.

"Even though," I paused, gulping down the hard lump that had formed in my throat, "I told you many times that I loved you, I feel like I didn't tell you enough. I should've complimented you more often and laughed with you a lot more than I did. I should've hugged you a lot more, too. I should've done all of that with Harry after you were gone. Maybe he would've held on to himself a lot longer if I had. I don't know, I guess I feel guilty because I let you go out on stage that night. I knew that something was wrong but I let it go because you told me not to worry." I smirked to myself, "I always was a softy when it came to you."

I could hear footsteps coming up behind me as I took in one last breath.

"I promise to never forget you, Louis. I'm going to visit you a lot more than I have been, I swear."

I stood from the ground and brushed the light dirt off of my knees. I leaned down and pressed my lips to the top of the stone before mumbling my good-bye.

"I love you, Louis."

I stood straight once again as I felt fingers intertwine with my own. I smiled as I turned to face Niall, who happily returned the smile as he leant his forehead against my own before pushing his lips against my own in a sweet kiss.

A giggle came from beside us and we both grinned as we separated. Niall adjusted the small wonder on his hip before he pressed his lips to the top of our son's forehead. I reached up and swiped back a few of his light dirty blonde hairs away from his forehead, which he replied to by reaching his arms out for me.

"Someone's tired of Daddy," I mocked as Niall transferred our son into my arms.

"Well someone's tired of playing in leaves," Niall joked as he stretched his arms out.

I smiled as I rocked our boy back and forth while Niall stepped forward to Louis' grave. He bent down and rested his hand against the stone and breathed in deeply.

"I miss you mate," he spoke clearly before he hung his head and whispered a barely audible; "I love you, brother."

I bent down next to him before setting our son on the ground. I held his arms as his wobbly legs made it to the headstone before he wiggled his small hands away from my own before pressing his against the frame, holding himself up. Niall wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him as we watched our boy's wide eyes take in everything in front of him.

"Let's go home, shall we?"

I looked up from his shoulder and into his eyes, his own following their gaze to my lips before giving me yet another chaste kiss. I nodded before he stood up and brushed off his pants. I placed my hand against the small boy's back and he turned his head to me, his face showing its constant curiosity.

"Time to go home, Louis."

He sputtered out obscene sounds before stumbling into my arms. I picked him up, placing him securely on my hip before taking Niall's hand in my own and heading back to our car. Only once did I look back at Louis' grave and as I did, I saw my son's eyes staring directly at it as well. Once we made it to the car and our happy-hearted son was securely fastened in his car seat, I climbed into the passenger seat as Niall turned the car on, the sound of the engine echoing across the fields. As our fingers entwined in the middle of the console and Niall began driving down the gravel path, my eyes stayed fixated on the cold gravestone of my departed friend who will never leave my heart, until he was soon out of my sight and we were on the main road, heading home.

**There you have it! It's all over. I hope you enjoyed the story, and let me know what you think in the review's? I want to know all of your final thoughts about it; it would mean the world to me. :) I thank EVERY single one of you who have read this, and those of you who've been here from the start, and those of you who've followed the story. I love you all, thank you so much!**

**I'm quite sad that it's come to an end, but it's been uploaded on Wattpad as well as my new story. I can upload the new story on here as well if you like. Let me know?**

**The song that inspired this Chapter is **_**Rewind **_**by **_**Devlin ft Diane Birch**_**. I adore Devlin and this song is beautiful.**

**I hope to hear about what you all think **

**Much love, xx.**


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